Although mutual trust and understanding is a well-known truth, there will always be newcomers who make mistakes in the process of talking about marriage. Since we want to be a family, we must reach an understanding on some principled issues so as not to bury the knot for our marriage life. Even if there are some difficulties or problems now, you should explain them frankly to each other.
After all, marriage is not a matter for one person, but for both husband and wife and even two families. Sometimes, some self-righteous cleverness can cover up for a while, but it will leave permanent scars in people's hearts. Instead of calculating and guessing each other in marriage, it is better to express your opinions generously and plan carefully with each other in order to live a happy future life.
Marriage needs management. Don't hide or even cheat each other in the name of love. This is not a reason to get married smoothly, but an excuse to satisfy your own interests. Only honest marriage is complete. Once you choose to calculate for your own interests, love will lose its original meaning and the trust between the two sides will be in jeopardy. This kind of marriage is not the purest appearance, and it is very likely that the two sides will go their separate ways, resulting in irreparable consequences. A tested marriage will be consumed by contradictions and eventually separate.
There is no regret medicine in the world. The only thing you can do is to be honest with each other, not haggle over every ounce for temporary interests, win the trust of your partner with your sincerity and generosity, and create a happy marriage together. Don't try to deal with each other through small moves. Marriage is the foundation of trust. Since what you promised should be done, you should not break the contract for the benefit. When you break the contract, you not only lose each other's love, but also lose the most basic integrity.
I wrote this article because a reader told me what happened as a bridesmaid. After four years of long-distance love, her best friend finally went to the palace of marriage. On a well-chosen day, the original lively wedding scene turned into a farce because the newspaper was stuffed in the red envelope for tea given by her husband's family. The bride said on the spot that it was a pity that the married couple didn't get married and the originally loving couple parted ways overnight.
The reader's best friend Xiao Xu, the bride, runs a clothing factory at home and is engaged in foreign trade business. Family conditions are not rich or expensive, but they are better than the average person. Xiao Xu and the groom Xiao Zhang met and fell in love during their college years. Xiao Zhang's parents are both employees, and their family conditions are average. After graduation, Xiao Zhang and his friends opened a hotpot restaurant, while Xiao Xu taught in a primary school. Xiao Zhang, who just started to open a shop, is not well-off at ordinary times. Xiao Xu doesn't mind and has always supported him. When the business of the store was on the right track, the two put marriage on the agenda.
Xiao Zhang and Xiao Xu have known each other since college. They have been together for four years. It is normal for them to get married as soon as their lives settle down. The two have a good emotional foundation and a stable economy. They met their parents soon, and both families were happy to see it, ready to arrange the wedding quickly. Xiao Zhang's family is ordinary, because he started his business just after graduation and his family invested a lot. Xiao Xu also understands that all bride price and three gold can go through a process, and the wedding expenses are borne by the two families. This lightened the burden of Xiao Zhang's family, and the two families soon discussed it and began to organize the wedding.
It stands to reason that two people should get married smoothly, but Xiao Xu wants the best when taking wedding photos and booking hotels to buy furniture. She looks good on her face and wants to get married in the past. Even if the wedding cost is half that of the two families, the Xiao Zhang family spent a lot of money. I can think that Xiao Xu is a good boy and really likes Xiao Zhang, so Xiao Zhang's parents will bear it. When it comes to the details of the wedding, the two families have differences.
Xiao Xu said that the red envelope for tea worship must be 10 1 yuan in cash, which is a good sign of "one in a million". Receiving a big red envelope in front of guests can also show the importance attached to the bride, which looks good. Xiao Zhang's family thought it was winning the lottery. More or less can be stuffed in the red envelope, which can't be seen outside. Xiao Xu advised Xiao Zhang: "I can't compare how many tens of thousands of jewels others bought when they got married, but can't you give me a big red envelope in front of so many guests?" I didn't want anything from your family when I married you. Can't I save face and make a good sign? "
Xiao Zhang's parents feel a little distressed to pay another 10 thousand. It's a mere formality. Why be so serious? What's more, his family is not as good as Xiao Xu's, and he has spent a lot of money on Xiao Zhang's business. Now there's really no need to spend another 10,000 yuan on a tea red envelope. Anyway, the red envelope is sealed. Just put a newspaper in it, the package is thicker. From the appearance alone, no one can tell whether the red envelope contains paper or money.
Moreover, just to save face, Xiao Xu wouldn't say it in front of the guests even if he thought it was wrong, and the red envelope thing would be over. Xiao Zhang wanted to discuss it with Xiao Xu again. After listening to his parents' thoughts, he acquiesced in their behavior.
The wedding is coming. Everything went well on the wedding day. Xiao Zhang went home immediately after receiving Xiao Xu. At her husband's house, Xiao Xu offered tea to her parents-in-law. My mother-in-law took out the "red envelope" that had been prepared long ago and handed it to Xiao Xu: "This is a good daughter-in-law in a million."
Xiao Xu happily took it. As soon as she got the red envelope, her face turned cold: "Mother-in-law, why is this red envelope so light?" "The words sound just fell and before her mother-in-law could explain, Xiao Xu opened the red envelope and found it was a newspaper.
At this time, Xiao Xu was unhappy: "Did I take a newspaper instead of a good red envelope of 101 thousand?" I don't want this 10 thousand either Isn't it a good painting on the wedding day? Do you really think I'm going to suffer this loss in front of the guests? "
My mother-in-law's fake red envelope was revealed. She was humiliated and her tone was not good: "Isn't it just that the bag is thick-skinned?" If you want that 1 10,000, I'll give you the money right away. "Xiao Zhang also advised Xiao Xu:" Mom didn't mean it. Look at how thick the red envelope is. Don't say who can say it clearly, and don't give yourself face if you say it! I'm still married today, stop it! "
Xiao Xu felt even more wronged. Is he doing this for the ten thousand dollars? This red envelope has a lot of face. Now that you have agreed, you should do it, instead of accepting a red envelope stuffed with newspapers and eating this dumb loss, knowing that you like what Xiao Zhang can't say. I've been giving in to everything since I prepared for the wedding. This fake red envelope doesn't value itself at all Now you can send fake red envelopes. What can you do with your life?
Thinking of this, Xiao Xu cried and said, "I'm not getting married!" "Say that finish and ran outside. The family also felt that Xiao Zhang was dishonest and did not stop Xiao Zhang from chasing him. The marriage did not form, and the two families also had misunderstandings.
How can a happy wedding be like this? Is it just because of a red envelope for drinking tea that the two sides who love each other are separated? To sum up, it is still unkind. Is the bride Xu asking too much? It's not too much. Girls are married, and it's really no problem to want to marry a beautiful face. Is there anything wrong with Xiao Zhangjia? You don't have to go through the motions so carefully. You just have to be decent, that's right.
But the mistake is that the two sides have not communicated well. If Xiao Zhang had talked with Xiao Xu earlier and expressed the meaning of his family, Xiao Xu might have understood. On the contrary, if Xiao Xu says it is important, he must pay in cash, and Xiao Zhang will also take out a red envelope full of cash. Wrong is wrong in the small zhangs' think Xiao Xu don't care, good face, want to hastily deal with the big things in Xiao Xu's heart.
Xiao Zhang didn't tell Xiao Xu clearly in advance, which led to a tragic scene at the wedding. Xiao Xu lost her trust in Xiao Zhang and thought that Xiao Zhang's family had set her up. It's really embarrassing that two people who are destined to meet again.
If I know today, why should I know? If I am honest, Xiao Zhang and Xiao Xu will have different endings. The two sides have feelings and can come together, but influenced by different concepts, they have made irreversible choices. The trust established between two people collapsed, leaving only a chicken feather, which is difficult to end. At this point in the story, everyone must think about it. Now that you have made a promise, you should do it, instead of deceiving others through abacus and cleverness, and making regrettable choices just for temporary interests.
There will always be all kinds of small frictions and disputes at the stage of talking about marriage. After all, marriage and love are different, and they will need to be coordinated eventually. And trust is the cornerstone to support them to go on. Only by supporting each other and understanding each other can we build a beautiful marriage life. It is a pity that the bride and groom in the story are separated because of the collapse of trust.
No matter what problems you encounter on the way to talk about marriage, you should be honest with each other. Only through communication and understanding can we strengthen mutual trust and increase their chances of getting together. There are lovers everywhere in the world, who can depend on each other for a lifetime when they go to the marriage hall. Who hasn't accumulated feelings for each other from daily life, from pure love to an indispensable part? Since we have chosen to get married, we should consider the long term, tolerate each other with our own generosity and generosity, and open a new chapter for a happy married life.