Emotionally speaking, the emotional dilemma they face is really helpless and uncomfortable: they want to solve the problem but can't start, but they want to break up but can't bear it, so they can only choose to delay, but isn't procrastination a vicious consumption of feelings?
So, how to solve the emotional dilemma before marriage? In my experience of emotional repair, the first thing you need to do is to find out whether you still love him. It should be noted that you'd better make a judgment in a rational, calm and emotionally stable state, so that your judgment can be objective and accurate.
If you don't know how to judge whether you still love him, you can ask yourself these questions: Do you still admire him? Do you feel heartache and regret for your disappearance? Do you still have feelings for him? Are you still willing to grow up with him? Can you accept and get used to his shortcomings and shortcomings? Would you be happy if you were given another chance to be with him?
If the answers to these questions are yes, then you probably still love each other, and it is best to face up to your own hearts; However, if the answers to these questions are mostly negative, or you are deeply entangled, you need to seriously think about whether you still love him, or you can come directly to Lemon for emotional counseling, and I will help you analyze it.
If you judge that you don't love him and really don't want to marry him, you can choose to break up with him. What you have to consider at this time is the price of breaking up. Lemon suggests that you should seriously think about how to minimize the mental injury and property loss of breaking up and give each other a decent farewell.
If you judge that you still love him in your heart, you need to see clearly what kind of emotional dilemma you are facing at this time. From an emotional professional point of view, most people usually encounter two kinds of emotional dilemmas before marriage:
The first is that external material pressure leads to emotional problems; Such as house, bride price, dowry, which city to live in and so on. The two sides and their families have not cooperated well. The man's family thinks that the woman's family wants more, and the woman's family thinks that the man's family pays less. Both sides consider problems from their own standpoint, fearing that they will suffer losses, which leads to more and more contradictions and is difficult to coordinate, so it is difficult to get married.
The second is that the relationship between two people is inherently problematic, but it is intensified before marriage; For example, two people always quarrel with each other in the cold war and cannot communicate effectively; Or two people pay unequally, one pays and the other takes, and there is something wrong with the mode of getting along. But in fact, problems in relationships will break out after marriage even if they don't break out before marriage. It is good to find problems before marriage. If we can solve these problems smoothly, we will enter the marriage with a better attitude, and the possibility of marriage happiness is greater.
If the emotional dilemma you encounter is the first one, then what you need to solve is the interest dispute between each other and the relationship between the two families. This requires you and your partner to negotiate carefully, understand each other, compromise each other, plan common goals, and work in one direction; Together, they acted as intermediaries, mediating between the two families and breaking the deadlock between them.
If the situation you encounter is the second, then what you need to solve is the emotional problem of the other person. This requires you to find out the causes of the other person's emotional problems, and then solve them in a targeted manner to make the other person's feelings develop in a positive direction. For example, if there is something wrong with your communication style, what you need to do is to establish a good communication mechanism with your partner, understand each other's inner needs, respect and understand each other, say what you want to say, listen to what you should hear, and become a flower of mutual understanding.
Of course, everyone's emotional difficulties before marriage are different. Lemon can provide you with a universal solution. What to do still needs specific analysis. If the above suggestions can't help you, you can tell Lemon your situation in detail, and I will provide you with deeper help and advice.
I wish you a happy love, and your loved ones will grow old together.
Don't be afraid if something goes wrong in your relationship. You can always find lemons, and I will always be there ~