My hometown belongs to Central China, located in the middle of Jiangxi. This is a place characterized by hilly landforms. Rice is the main cash crop here and the most basic source of livelihood for farmers. It is planted twice a year. Here are beautiful mountains and rivers, beautiful natural scenery, and the forest coverage rate is over 66%. The vast fields are dotted with criss-crossing hills and rice fields, and villages with blue bricks and tiles are embedded in them. What is presented to people is a kind of poetry full of smoke and a picture full of hazy pastoral life.
As the saying goes, one side of the soil and water raises one side. In the process of traditional farming civilization, the living habits of one side have formed the customs of the other. For example, in the prosperity of marriage between men and women, the marriage customs of hometown people have unique local color and traditional charm. In the past, the marriage in my hometown generally went through the two most important links of "proposing marriage" and "engagement", so that two people who were destined to get married could get married for a hundred years. And this kind of good thing is decided, it has to be the matchmaker's "platform", and she has to match the bridge. The matchmaker mentioned here, in our modern parlance, is the kind of "introducer" or "witness" in a marriage agency. Most of them are middle-aged and elderly women, eloquent and eloquent.
Matchmaker is a free folk occupation at the right time, and it is also a product of the life of an era. This kind of people usually wander among rural villages, capturing the information of young men and women who are about to enter the marriage discussion and completing their matchmaker mission. Generally speaking, after having a goal, the matchmaker will take the initiative to go back and forth between men and women, show off his language ability, and try his best to lobby this rare good thing to promote this marriage. In this way, on the one hand, she seeks personal interests for her career, and on the other hand, she shows her unique ability to know everything, everything and everything. Of course, there are exceptions, which can only be blamed on her own lack of kung fu and failure to grasp the opportunity to promote another good thing.
The matchmaking of farmers is not a blind choice, and the goals and requirements have basic goals and conditions. Living in an area, people naturally know the situation in all directions and know someone's situation like the back of their hands. Of course, I also know who this child is, what he looks like, honest and dishonest, handsome or not; Whose situation is prosperous? Is it prosperous? And these situations are generally well known. However, in the lifelong event of children's marriage, parents are most concerned and worried about each other's character, virtue, filial piety and word of mouth. You don't have to pay attention to what kind of family is right, and choose the wrong family to send your children all your life. Generally speaking, the man's family wants to find a virtuous, capable, knowledgeable and housekeeping daughter-in-law; The woman's family hopes that her daughter can marry into a relatively wealthy family, and the son-in-law she is looking for is an honest, hardworking, hardworking, self-motivated and skilled person. In this way, the daughter will not be upset because of anger, nor will she worry about her future life.
The traditional marriage and love of rural people is generally the way of "parents are the masters" and "media agreement". In daily life, if an adult takes a fancy to each other's children, or young men and women take a fancy to each other themselves, they must go through the parents' barrier before they can "propose" and then "get engaged". And the matchmaker is the one who sets this good thing up.
When proposing marriage, it is usually the man's adult who invites the matchmaker to lobby at the woman's house, and the matchmaker will make a fuss about the family situation of the boy and the man. The woman's adult thought that the other party's family situation and children's situation were good, so she agreed. Then the man's family took the matchmaker and children and brought some gifts to the woman's house another day, so that the woman's adult could see the boy and let the two young people know him. After this first impression has passed, the two sides will agree on the next step, and exchange the "birthdays" of young men and women to see if they are suitable for marriage. Once the date of birth matches, the match is complete. The woman's family will organize a group of women to "visit" the man's family to see if the living conditions of the man's family are good, how many people there are in the family, how popular they are in the local area and so on. If the woman's family likes it after reading it and has no objection to this marriage, then the man's family will take the dowry to the woman's house to get engaged and confirm the marriage. This engagement, just like the present relationship, is a ceremony for the man's family to take the boy to the woman's house for dowry. With this dowry, the marriage is settled, so the girl is taken, not to mention anything else. This kind of confirmed marriage, unless there is an unexpected change in the middle, one party feels that the other party is dissatisfied or has other secrets and proposes to break off the marriage, otherwise the girl can only wait for the day of marriage and become the bride in this life.
Thousands of years of civilized farming life, so that the rural people in the process of reproduction subconsciously have the brand of believing in God and Buddhism, in such things as marriage and love, naturally believe in the so-called matching of male and female birthdays. In their view, it's about the compatibility of the couple's birthday and family life after they enter the house. In other words, mutual respect will affect the rise and fall of the man's family, his fortune and prospects, and even the fate of the whole family, which will bring disaster and misfortune to this family and prevent him from getting married. Although there is no scientific basis for this feudal thought, the old people attach great importance to it. They only believe that this generation entered the marriage hall in such a choice. Then, this "date of birth" naturally becomes the only statement and "standard" to measure the quality and happiness of marriage when they choose marriage.
When a man and a woman are engaged, two people who didn't know each other become relatives, and naturally they will walk around from time to time. At this time, the chances of contact between two young men and women will gradually increase. At that time, young men and women had few opportunities for emotional communication and didn't spend enough time together. They don't have as many excuses as young people now, but they can communicate with each other through developed exchanges. Therefore, boys can only go to the woman's house to help express their love during the busy farming season, and at the same time get close to the girl to express their love, or invite the girl to stay at their home for a few days every traditional festival to increase the chances of getting along with each other and exchanging feelings. When the young couple's feelings develop to "meet each other one day late and like Sanqiu", they will take the initiative to tell their parents what they think. At this time, parents of both sides may have to quickly agree on marriage and choose a "auspicious day" for them to get married. Once the date is set, the man will finish the pre-agreed "bride price", and then the two families will send red invitations to relatives and friends at the same time, and each will prepare something for the wedding banquet. Obviously, this kind of marriage brokered by the matchmaker has obvious traces of the times, branded with the feudal concept that men and women are not close, which not only limits the freedom of young men and women to choose marriage, but also deprives individuals of the right to pursue a happy life, which is not desirable.
Rural people usually hold weddings in the traditional local way. This wedding is also very grand and lively, and will be arranged in the two slack seasons of winter and spring, so that the daily farming will not be affected and the guests who come to the wedding banquet will have enough free time. However, with the development and changes of the times and the progress of society, this most traditional situation in which the man sends eight big sedan chairs to marry the bride has been replaced by sedan chairs, riding horses, riding bicycles, riding cars and so on, and with the changes of the times. Today's society has entered a period of high civilization, and it is natural to do new things and do new things. Young people also have their own independent marriage rights and views on marriage and love. They no longer follow the old calendar, and some even fall in love at first sight. They travel to get married, and then come back to ask their close relatives or friends to make up a simple western-style wedding, which is considered marriage. The date of the wedding is also uncertain. I want to be on that day, but most people still choose to hold their own weddings on some commemorative public holidays.
To say that this wedding banquet is a grand and time-consuming thing in the countryside. The man's family usually puts on a banquet for three days with great fanfare, and the woman's family is two and a half days. In addition to uncles, seven aunts and eight aunts, relatives within two generations were invited to attend the wedding, and relatives and friends from the same family even came to hundreds of tables. And the way to greet those guests who come to the wedding banquet is also unique. Grandma took me to several wedding banquets when I was a child. In some distant places, the man or woman arranged for someone to pick me up at home, using the most common unicycle in China. By the 1970s, this situation had not changed much in my hometown. The wedding gifts we bring to drink are usually a jar of homemade glutinous rice wine or a glutinous rice cake. Relatives with good living conditions will naturally have gifts such as cloth, thermos bottles, porcelain pots and towels.
Weddings and other banquets held in rural areas, due to the large number of guests and long time, not only should guests be arranged to eat and drink, but also accommodation should be arranged. Families with good family conditions will also invite guests to the theatre. But this complicated situation is usually digested internally. Banquets in rural areas are organized by themselves, and chefs come from rural areas, and the unique cooking skills of peasant cauldrons are beyond the reach of ordinary hotels in the city. Naturally, the dishes are mainly pigs, cows, fish, ducks, chickens, tofu and vegetables produced by farmers.
At a wedding reception, people who help are usually family members. Men are generally responsible for helping the kitchen, serving wine and picking up guests, while women are responsible for making tofu, cooking, washing dishes, cleaning and checking in guests. This kind of red wedding is usually a table for eight people. In the back room of the main hall, there are seats and accompanying seats. The seats on the table are enjoyed by my uncle and my closest relatives and elders. Others can't enjoy this special treatment. Guests can sit at tables in other rooms or in front of the door.
The banquet must be seated first. "Seating" is also a very exquisite traditional ceremony, which is carried out in the sound of firecrackers accompanied by drums and music. At this time, there will be a master of ceremonies, and someone will invite my uncle and patriarch to sit in the hall. After they sit down, they will pour the wine into the bowl in front of them. After these ceremonies are completed, the banquet will really open. Then I saw those people carrying trays and shuttling back and forth between the kitchen and the banquet like shopkeepers. Every time a dish is served, suona is played, and the atmosphere is naturally warm and noisy. In the rhythmic suona rendering, under the supervision of the "wine commander" at each table, the visitors are drinking the old glutinous rice wine in the bowl, laughing with each other and eating loudly. This scene is really lively. In the meantime, you may suddenly feel something furry brushing your leg under the table. It must be a yellow dog or cat wagging its tail waiting for the bones left by people. This feeling is very interesting.
Farmers' wedding banquets are usually a table for eight people. Dinner 12 dishes, usually 8 dishes with meals. The climax is the day when the bride gets married. On the wedding day, the man's house was full of gongs and drums and firecrackers in the early morning. The groom was surrounded by a wedding procession, dressed in red and silk. A satin red flower on his chest is particularly dazzling, just like himself, full of charm and vitality. Firecrackers and suona rang, and the whole wedding team set off and went straight to the bride's house. At this time, the man's home is not idle. The head of the family had to be busy with the ceremony of "putting the bed" by the hour. The four pads of a new bed to be used by a couple were touched with something special and moved. In the center of the bed, there are fruits such as "early birth of your son" and filled with trays. A pair of golden couple, less than two years old, sat inside, burning incense in the room, and there was a beaming scene.
According to local customs, the man's wedding procession must have breakfast before taking the bride out of the village. But this bride is not so easy to meet. Generally, the bride's hair is small or the sisters come out to embarrass the groom, make a scene and ask for a meeting before they can let people go. Of course, these are all lively episodes, and the wedding team is well prepared, so it is difficult for the groom. When the morning of the bride's "crying mother" comes, the bride will be carried out of the house by the designated elders in the rendering of suona and crying, and marry dozens of people sent by the woman's family. The bride's wedding team is also exquisite. Men and women are divided according to their closeness, and they will safely carry the bride and those things that accompany him to the man's house.
After some preparation, they greeted each other, and the two teams who got one free got mixed up. All the way, colorful flags fluttered, drums and music rang, and firecrackers rang. This battle will inevitably attract passers-by to stop and watch, watch the excitement, or comment. When the bride arrives at the man's house, the first place to enter the village is the shrine in the village. Here, the bride and groom will hold a ceremony to worship their ancestors. After the ceremony, the bride has to avoid the village women, saying that she will crush her spirit and let her know the truth of being a daughter-in-law in the future. At this time, some women put pot ashes prepared in advance on the bride, or were chased and beaten by women with barbed rattan. Of course, at this time, the groom who loves his daughter-in-law should be smart, block with his body and protect with his hands, and quickly pick up the bride and run to his home. Otherwise, the bride will really become a "Cinderella" and a "painted woman". After the bride fled home with the groom on her back, she had to go through some rituals, such as walking in a sack and crossing the brazier. After that, a couple, under the auspices of the master of ceremonies, immediately bowed to their parents and worshipped heaven and earth with the sound of gongs and drums and music, and then were sent to the bridal chamber.
After the bride's first dinner, there is a ceremony to pay tribute to the guests. At this time, a couple, accompanied by the sound of gongs and drums and suona, bowed to the elderly guests who came to the wedding reception. Although it's a bit cumbersome, a couple don't need to find someone, someone will call them. Of course, this bow-down ceremony is very rewarding, and the singer will record the "money worship" given by all relatives and friends and bless them. After the worship, someone will go to the new house to make trouble. Women and girls will also clamor for food from the bride, or open the box to check the dowry items, and then learn to speak. Boys are different. At this time, there are many tricks to embarrass the groom. It's really hard for couples to spend a candle night in their bridal chamber. A beautiful night is worth 1000 dollars.
Breakfast on the second day after the bride's adoption is a banquet. After dinner, all the guests have to go back to their homes, and the older ones still have to be sent by trolley. When every guest goes back, the man's house still needs to be cleaned up. What he cleans up is nothing more than some big pieces of meat and rice cakes. These are all gifts, and special relatives will specially bring a catty of pork to show their respect. After the guests leave, the third day is the day when the young couple return to their parents' home, so they will naturally bring a generous gift to repay their parents. This is the farmers' wedding custom and wedding banquet. It does have a different style and charm, but it has become a distant memory and disappeared in our local customs.