If you are still digging and looking for it at the wedding, you don't want to spend the money, you don't want to send flowers to your dear woman, and you don't want to hold a romantic wedding for your dear woman. Then a woman can either hold a grudge against a man for life, or simply leave now, which is really not worth the loss, and it is a short-sighted stupidity.
However, don't think that this is a women's rights carnival, and there is another story. There is a saying that money should be spent on the cutting edge. Spend what you should, and don't spend what you shouldn't. We should want what we want, but this is a kind of self-esteem, but we should not want it. This is also for our own dignity. But what should be spent, what should not be spent, what should be spent and what should not be spent are actually very easy to distinguish.
First, you shouldn't take what you didn't say beforehand. Similarly, you shouldn't give it.
Second, if the reason is absurd only to satisfy one party's selfish desires, then it should not be taken. Similarly, it should not be given.
It's not natural to understand it in advance, and those who are temporarily overweight without prior ventilation are unreasonable regardless of whether the conditions and requirements are reasonable or not. As the party that has not received the information in advance, it has the right not to accept it.
For example, if the two parties reach an agreement on the basis of the amount of bride price that has been negotiated, then even if one party adds one cent and ten cents to ask for a temporary increase, it is also a breach of promise and a sign of dishonesty, and the other party can completely ignore unreasonable demands.
In fact, it is easy to understand that the reason for absurd self-satisfaction is that those folk traditions that are not well known to the public, or are well known to the public but not widely recognized, are only for the convenience of one party and exploitation of the other. I believe everyone knows the first one, such as opening fee, getting off the bus, changing tickets and so on.
Even though many people say that these wedding expenses are indeed a well-known tradition in their hometown, they are not denied. But I'm sorry, local traditions don't mean unity and universality, and it's not impossible to recognize each other on a small scale, but it's unreasonable to ask others to accept them.
The combination of Yan Lili and Gu Kai is not suitable. Gu Kai has some money. My father and mother did husband and wife business in their early years. My mother is a strong woman, and she makes a decisive move in the shopping mall. My father is my mother's deputy, handling the details. The couple worked closely together. They laid a foundation in their hometown, left pension money for themselves and paved the way for their only son, Gu Kai. The old couple retired contentedly.
In Yan Lili's family, both parents are working class. My father works in a chemical factory, my mother works in an electronics factory, and there is a brother on it. Although their parents' salary is ok, it is really a drop in the bucket compared with Gu's, especially when they married their brother's daughter-in-law. After the old couple gave their brother a loan to buy a house, their sister-in-law asked for a bride price of 200,000 yuan. The situation at home can be said to be heavily in debt. Although they are hungry, they are also under pressure.
Yan Lili is also a very filial and sensible girl. After work, she sent all the money home in order to pay off her brother's debts and reduce the burden on her parents.
She loves her parents and her brother very much. Perhaps it is this kind of family care that finally made her lose her kindness and innocence and her own happiness.
Although Yan Lili was not born well, she was unlucky. In the college entrance examination, she almost reached the second line by one point, but she still failed the list. When looking for a job, she had already received an offer, but she was temporarily topped by others.
However, her love fortune is still a little lucky. She hasn't been in love many times, but she has met some nice men. When she graduated from college, she went to look for a job and happened to find that the person in charge of that company was a client she knew while working part-time, and the other party happened to know her.
Although Yan Lili was not accepted by that company in the end, he was introduced to work in another small company run by his friend Gu Kai.
At that time, Gu Kai was in the start-up stage. He set up a small studio with few employees, but perhaps in order to retain employees, he made great efforts in welfare. Yan Lili stayed in the company in Gu Kai for a period of time, which was considered too long before he found a suitable job. After all, this company has nothing to do with Yan Lili's major, and it is not the place where Yan Lili wants to look forward to it for a long time. But it was during this period that Yan Lili served as the facade of Gu Kai Company, and a friend introduced this opportunity, so they lived together day and night and developed feelings.
Later, after Yan Lili left the company, Gu Kai and Yan Lili came together. At first, Gu's parents were very determined to be their daughter-in-law, unwilling to admit it, not because of their poor family background, but because of their complicated family background. Gu Kai's mother said this to Gu Kai without even looking at anyone after learning about Yan Lili's family situation at the first time.
"You let her in, or she will drag her to death." But Gu Kai argued, "No, Mom, Lily is a very strong person. She works hard herself. Although she may not be very good, she is independent and self-reliant. This is what I admire about her. " Gu Kai's mother just replied faintly: "I'm not saying that she is not good, she won't drag you down, but her family will drag you down." But Gu Kai wanted it beautifully. Faced with her son's infatuation, Gu Kai's mother, who knew everything, could only shake her head and let her son go.
Gu Kai's mother is more reasonable. After all, she is a very wise woman, and she has been in the mall. She knows that some things are useless when others say them. She's going to hit herself, and her head is broken, and she wants to understand. Therefore, she did not interfere too much in her son's marriage. Instead, she pushed her way through the crowd and persuaded her husband.
When they talked about marriage, Yan Lili asked for a bride price of 480,000 yuan, but at that time, when Yan Lili said this, her heart was empty. This amount was quoted by her parents, and she was surprised when she heard it, but Yan Lili's mother thought so at that time. "Son, don't be silly. Their family has money, not money. This 3.5 million is not to say that it will be taken out. If he really loves you, he won't disagree.
It doesn't matter even if you disagree. Mom asked you to quote the highest price to bargain for their family. How much can they cut? At most, it is tens of thousands of dollars less. It's amazing. In this way, our family also made concessions, not stingy, and their family can accept it psychologically, right?
Mom is not a greedy person, but you can see the things at home. How many years will it take your eldest brother to earn this debt from us is still unknown, and your nephew is going to school soon and needs money everywhere. Alas, it's difficult. You happen to be a miracle worker, and you found a rich husband. As long as he is willing to give, then our family will be liberated. "
Yan Lili wanted to think, also feel mother said makes sense. Although his heart was empty, he had never heard of anyone asking for such a high bride price, but with the encouragement of his mother, Yan Lili spoke. She once imagined that Gu Kai would react violently when she heard this amount. Maybe she would be angry. Maybe she would bargain as her mother expected, but what she didn't expect was that Gu Kai thought for a moment and agreed.
Gu Kai loves Yan Lili. He knew that the situation in Yan Lili's family was very difficult, and he also knew that Yan Lili didn't want the money for himself, so he gave it to her, which was tantamount to getting rid of all the things that upset her at home, so that Yan Lili could rest assured and get married carefree. When Yan Lili came home, he happily told his mother that he didn't think of his mother, but he was not very happy. Instead, he shouted wolf.
"If I had known that he promised so readily, I would have asked for more. I was fooled. I was really fooled. " But what has been decided can't be undone, and the bride price is doomed to change when it is decided, but my mother didn't give up, but tried to find other ways to try to get more from Gu.
But I thought about it for a long time. After all, other wedding expenses are paid by Gu Hai's family, so there is nothing to ask for. Until the penultimate day of the wedding, when the family sat together to discuss the wedding day and talked about changing contact, Yan Lili's mother suddenly became happy.
"By the way, why didn't I think of it earlier? Well, it's not too late to think of it. Daughter, when you get married and change your mind, remember to ask your mother to change her mind, and we will talk about it at the scene. "
"How much is it?"
"Ninety thousand!"
Hearing her mother's answer, Yan Lili almost jumped up: "Mom, it costs so much to change your mouth. We have no custom of changing her mouth here. Besides, people just want to give it. You just told people on the wedding day that they couldn't give it to you on the spot. "
Who knows that the mother has already prepared: "Son, you are so stupid. I told you, will people still give it? " Just to make a surprise attack, in public, they have to give it if they don't give it. I have also thought about this problem of not loading cash. Let your brother take the pos machine. I don't believe that they have no money at home, can they bring a card, and hotel payment costs money. "
Yan Lili was obviously arranged by her mother. After the last bride price incident, she also believed that Gu Kai would not refuse her. After all, most of her money is out, but only 90 thousand. Gu should not care. So I comforted myself, and Yan Lili convinced myself. On the wedding day, everything went well. Knowing the change of words, Yan Lili glanced at her mother and saw her mother winking at herself. Yan Lili summoned up his courage and said to her mother-in-law:
"Mother-in-law, you can change your mouth, but according to the custom of my family, you have to pay 90 thousand to change your mouth." Yan Lili obviously took a glance at Gu Kai next to her out of the corner of her eye and kept poking her with her elbow, but she ignored her and stared at her mother-in-law. Sure enough, my mother-in-law said, "I can give it to you, but I don't have that much cash with me. I'd better get it for you after the wedding."
Before Yan Lili could react, Yan Lili's mother rushed to answer: "It doesn't matter if there is no cash, there is a way to solve it." Then she told Yan Lili's brother to take out the pos machine with her eyes. This scene is really embarrassing, even the well-informed host was shocked to see the pos machine. But my mother-in-law is quite calm. She took the tea from Lily herself, took a sip, and then answered slowly, "OK, I agree."
Then I took out my card and paid the change fee with my credit card. The whole family is very happy, and her mother-in-law doesn't look angry, but she looks like a light cloud. But when Yan Lili was about to change her mind, her mother-in-law stopped her and made a vicious remark. "Hey, don't change your mind. I have a son, and there is no shortage of children. Besides, your mouth is so expensive. I can't stand calling my mother 90 thousand words. I'm afraid of short life. I want to live a few more years. In the future, you will call me "hello" and I will call you "hey", which is quite good. "
When her mother-in-law finished, everyone in the audience laughed. The smiling woman's family can't leave the stage, especially Yan Lili. She looked at her mother-in-law, then at her husband who was so angry that he kept silent. Although her husband didn't have an attack, what her mother-in-law said was also of high quality, and the family kept the proper self-restraint, but she suddenly felt that her future marriage life would be very difficult.
But things have happened. When she found out that she had done an absurd thing, but it was irreparable, especially when her mother would rather be gossiped than refund the change, she suddenly understood what it meant to be sold and help others, but it was all voluntary. No one forced her. Who can she blame?
I have to say, Yan Lili's mother-in-law is really a little fierce. Facing Yan Lili's irrationality and the preparation of the woman's family, the passive mother-in-law completely controlled the audience with her own aura and behavior. She overbearing agreed to the unreasonable demands of the woman's family. It looks as if the woman won, but is this really the case?
She didn't encourage her son to divorce, and she didn't say she wouldn't marry, but will life really be better in Yan Lili? She offended her husband's family for 90 thousand yuan. I think the real origin of her nightmare began on the wedding day. What do you think of the example of Yan Lili? Or, do you have any idea about this wedding fee, which is headed by the change fee?
Anyway, I think there is a charge for opening the door, a fare for getting off the bus and a charge for changing the mouth. To put it mildly, it is a sense of ritual. To put it bluntly, it is utilitarian. Let's just say that the opening fee and ticket price are understandable, but the change fee is really incredible.
When a woman marries her in-laws' house, she is another home and another mother. Isn't it natural and sincere for her to call her mother-in-law "Mom"? If you don't really mean it, how can you really treat your mother-in-law and how can you really shout it out? Some women clamor for a change of heart before they can call their mother. If they don't change their minds, they won't shout. Be realistic, is it for feelings or money?
Perhaps, is it really for the simple change of mouth fee? After all, the word "mom" is not a trivial word. Many people will only call mom once in their lives. It is very obvious how meaningful this "mother" is. Maybe women don't think so deeply, thinking that this is just tradition, and they are just practitioners of tradition and abide by the rules. But if you put yourself in the other's shoes, you should understand how selfish and unreasonable what you are doing.
Aside from these materials and realities, the most important thing in a wedding is actually feelings, not only feelings for the husband and wife, but also feelings for the mother-in-law. I have to admit, sometimes it's no wonder that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law contradict each other. This is not just a mother-in-law's pot. If women always have this absurd theory and unreasonable life, both mother-in-law and husband and wife can't handle the relationship well, and marriage will break up sooner or later. Considering each other is not only for each other, but also for their own happiness. After all, marriage is always about winning.