Zhao Benshan: I heard that he changed his job as an improper chef into an anti-fraud hotline, but he felt threatened and would never be cheated again. The cruel reality almost pushed up my psychological defense. If I don't sell him something this year, I won't be able to fulfill the topic I promised the audience for three years!
Cai Weili: Master, let's go in.
Zhao Benshan: Don't worry, dial a harassing call first!
Fan Wei: Hello, this is the anti-fraud hotline. I am an old fan who has been cheated by myself. With years of experience, I can make a clear judgment on whether you are fooled or not. ~ ~ ~ Please press 1 for abductions, 2 for cars, 3 for brain teasers and1/kloc-0 for stretchers!
Zhao Benshan: Hello!
Fan Wei: Hello!
Zhao Benshan: Excuse me, are you Master Fan?
Fan Wei: Ah ~ Who are you?
Zhao Benshan: This is ~ ~ ~ I have a question to ask you directly.
Fan Wei: Ah, you're right!
Zhao Benshan: We have an old sow with white flowers in the dark. She got up in the morning, opened the door and ran at 80 mph. She hit a tree and died!
Fan Wei: Killed? Is there anything wrong with the pig's eyesight?
Zhao Benshan: Both eyes are 1.5!
Fan Wei: Are you mentally ill?
Zhao Benshan: I am mentally healthy!
Fan Wei: Then how could it be killed?
Zhao Benshan: Because that pig has no brains!
Fan Wei: I said you are not picky. You don't play by the rules. Press 3 for a brain teaser. In that case, I also ask a question!
Zhao Benshan: Say it!
Fan Wei: After the Spring Festival, our family didn't buy new year's goods, only a pig and a donkey were left. Do you think I should kill the pig or the donkey first?
Zhao Benshan: Then kill ~ ~ first and give you two a chance!
Cai Weili: Donkey meat is delicious! Kill the donkey first!
Zhao Benshan: Kill the donkey first!
Fan Wei: Congratulations on your correct answer. So is the pig! ~ ~ ~ demo, ~ ~ hum!
Zhao Benshan: Sadness, I really sympathize with you. I plan to travel alone. How can this reassure me?
Wang Xiaohu: Master, kill the pig first!
Zhao Benshan: That donkey thought the same thing! I'm telling you, it's not good for you to kill anyone first on this issue! Why didn't I answer, just because I thought he had a problem! ~ ~ Eh, see? He has grown from a neck in those days to two calves now!
Cai Weili: Master, he is wonderful. I think we should go home!
Zhao Benshan: No, the kidnapper tricked him into limping, and the seller tricked him. If I don't get rid of him in 10 minutes, I can't be a teacher with you two!
Cai Weili, Wang Xiaohu: The master led the door. What a fool!
Zhao Benshan: OK, look me in the eye and go in! Beautiful him, look, aha, he ran away, where to run!
Cai Weili: Is Chef Fan there, please?
Fan Wei: Hey, who are you? You ask ~ ~ ~ er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, the pig hit the tree. You hit a pig, didn't you? Did you rear-end the car? Why did you change it to 3 again?
Zhao Benshan: I have missed you for three years!
Fan Wei: Fool!
Zhao Benshan: I've come to confess to you!
Fan Wei: Keep joking!
Zhao Benshan: My apprentice is my witness!
Cai Weili and Wang Xiaohu: Hmm!
Fan Wei: I organized a group here to fool me. It's hard to fool me. As long as we good people are alert to you, what can you do? Huh? Just a few brain teasers! There are/kloc-0 monkeys on the ground, and there are 7 monkeys on the tree, which are both two monkeys and eight monkeys!
Zhao Benshan: Maybe three monkeys, maybe nine monkeys!
Fan Wei: Why has it changed again?
Zhao Benshan: Pregnant with a monkey!
Fan Wei: Is it interesting?
Zhao Benshan: It's boring. I won't give you a brain teaser. I'm here to apologize! For three years, the most sorry person in the world is Chef Fan. What a nice guy, I always tell you, why do you think I lied to him? How honest and honest! You hit me twice, you can't, you scold me, you can't open your mouth, so, anyway, you forgive me, I will, forgive or not, I will come with sincerity!
Fan Wei: Yes, yes, yes, it's still paved!
Zhao Benshan: Help me up!
Fan Wei: Yes, I can stand up. There's nothing wrong with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take two steps. Take two steps, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh? Everyone is watching, and everything has nothing to do with me! Why do you always hang around like this? Get up! what can I do for you? Let's get this straight, okay?
Zhao Benshan: Do you want to hear it?
Fan Wei: I want to hear it!
Zhao Benshan: Did you get your letter?
Fan Wei: As long as you stand up, I will believe you!
Zhao Benshan: Go away, I can stand up!
Fan Wei: Say it!
Zhao Benshan: It's a long story. I remember it was the first snow in 2003, a little later than in 2002!
Fan Wei: What did you do with the lyrics? If you have something to say, just say it!
Zhao Benshan: I won't play with you. I will apologize to you today. Get the goods! Look familiar?
Fan Wei: Is this the hundreds of dollars you cheated me of?
Zhao Benshan: Not a penny!
Fan Wei: Which watch is this?
Zhao Benshan: I haven't seen it in my hand!
Fan Wei: Big Brother! ! ~~
Zhao Benshan: The feud between us should be settled. Wheelchairs have been the chief culprit in these years. Today, I must smash it in front of you!
Wang Xiaohu: Master can't break it!
Cai Weili: Master, this wheelchair is a witness to your brother's reunion!
Zhao Benshan: Don't talk nonsense, I, you can't stop me!
Fan Wei: Brother, if you want to hit me, you are too sincere. The children are right! It is not only a testimony to our reconciliation, but also a reminder to me to avoid being fooled again in the future. I have collected it!
Zhao Benshan: No, how do you accept the money the child gave me?
Fan Wei: I'll pay!
Zhao Benshan: How much is it?
Cai Weili: Two thousand!
Fan Wei: I'll give you two thousand pounds!
Zhao Benshan: I'll give 2500!
Fan Wei: I'm three thousand!
Zhao Benshan: I'm 3500!
Fan Wei: I have four thousand pounds!
Zhao Benshan: I'm five thousand!
Fan Wei: Deal!
Zhao Benshan: Put it on Chef Fan.
Fan Wei: You shout 5000, and I'll finish with a hammer. Deal!
Zhao Benshan: No! You remember wrong. How did you shout?
Cai Weili: I heard it was Chef Fan!
Wang Xiaohu: No! It's the master!
Fan Wei: Look!
Zhao Benshan: What a mess! What a mess! Well, it doesn't matter who shouts! Look at us. Who shouted first?
Fan Wei: I called first!
Zhao Benshan: How much did you shout?
Fan Wei: I'm two thousand!
Zhao Benshan: I'm 2500!
Fan Wei: 3000!
Zhao Benshan: 3500!
Fan Wei: 4000!
Zhao Benshan: 4500!
Fan Wei: 5000 pounds!
Zhao Benshan: Look!
Fan Wei: No, I am an elf myself!
Zhao Benshan: Then you are in a mess!
Fan Wei: Stop it, 2000 2500 3000 3500 4000 4500 5000!
Zhao Benshan: Yes!
Fan Wei: Yes,
Wang Xiaohu: I remember wrong, the host shouted!
Fan Wei: No, no, big brother, I called 4000, but you directly called 5000, right? Right?
Audience: Yes! ! ~~~~~~~~~~
Zhao Benshan: Well, it's a mess. Since my brother and I agreed to accept it, let's shout it again and find out who is shouting this 5000. That! ~ ~ What's the starting price?
Cai Weili: 2000!
Fan Wei: I'm in 2000!
Zhao Benshan: Deal! It's not messy this time!
Fan Wei: No, aren't you going to call?
Zhao Benshan: Yes, I'm afraid I'm confused!
Fan Wei: Ah! Don't move! This wheelchair is mine!
Zhao Benshan: I'm telling you, bro, you shouldn't ask you for money. You are still very proud. You have to take care of people, but ~ ~
Fan Wei: But if I give it to you, I will be fooled!
Zhao Benshan: I tell you, I didn't think about it at first ~ ~
Fan Wei: Er, er, er, changed it to Rob?
Zhao Benshan: You are mistaken!
Fan Wei: Come on. From the moment you entered the room, you used a bitter plan. When you were caught, you used many tricks. Master and apprentice cooperated with the plan to smash the car and suddenly dropped the mallet. I only used one plan!
Zhao Benshan: Let's play!
Fan Wei: This is a plan for you!
Zhao Benshan: Walking is the best policy!
Fan Wei: No!
Zhao Benshan: I failed. Do you know why I failed? He is a chef who only reads the art of war without reading the menu. Get out!
Cai Weili and Wang Xiaohu: Master! ! ! ~~~~~~~~~
Zhao Benshan: What are you doing? Where are you kneeling? I'm here!
Wang Xiaohu: Master, I'm sorry. Your IQ is so low that I can't learn anything from you!
Cai Weili: What should you do? You're going to miss the No.2 bus soon!
Zhao Benshan: Sad!
Wang Xiaohu Cai Weili: Master, my disciples worship me!
Zhao Benshan: Aye aye! The world is crazy. Rats are the bridesmaids of cats! Oh, my God!
Cai Weili and Wang Xiaohu: Master, please accept us!
Fan Wei: Er, er, er, children, this book is endless. Just learn it well. Give you a red envelope in the New Year, ah, a red envelope!
Zhao Benshan: Can you take this money? Didn't I pay you both last month? Sad, really sad!
Fan Wei: Come on, everybody, take it!
And: Master Xie!
Cai Weili and Wang Xiaohu: Master, take it down!
Zhao Benshan: Ha ha ha, anti-hegemony!
Fan Wei: Alas, it is impossible to prevent! But I refuse to obey you. I'm still in a wheelchair, aren't I?
Zhao Benshan: What do you want?
Fan Wei: What about your promise? Where is your stretcher?
Zhao Benshan: Develop it yourself!
Fan Wei: Hmm!
Zhao Benshan: This is customized for you. If it is short, it can be lengthened!
Fan Wei: Yes, you took great pains for me. Thanks to my superior plan, I opened the red envelope!
Zhao Benshan: Huh?
Fan Wei: During the Spring Festival, I send you a pair of couplets: "Turn around for a year, shake your destiny for a year. Thank you! "
Zhao Benshan: I'll give you another rhetorical question: "Self-taught"!
Pay new year's call
Zhao Benshan: What are you dragging?
Gao Xiumin: Why are you so slow?
Zhao Benshan: How long before I can fly?
Gao Xiumin: Why didn't you know you were in a hurry? Our fish pond is about to expire, and the brother-in-law in charge is in a hurry. He wants to sign a contract, so why don't we talk to the person in charge?
Zhao Benshan: Now that we're here, it's no use talking!
Gao Xiumin: Let's fight for it to the end!
Zhao Benshan: You are too picky to win your New Year's Day. It's a shame to bring two assholes.
Gao Xiumin: If you want to rely on me, you shouldn't take any of them.
Zhao Benshan: What are you taking?
Gao Xiumin: Gifts are out of fashion now. People pay attention to emotional communication.
Zhao Benshan: Slag ditch?
Gao Xiumin: Use language. Say something nice.
Zhao Benshan: That's it. You let me play with the fish pond, and let me play with the language better.
Gao Xiumin: Compared with what?
Zhao Benshan: Blind pestle can't find the north at the South Pole. You can't separate your legs from practicing cerebral thrombosis. You can't see the beauty in cheongsam, so Pan Changjiang can't even kiss Zheng's mouth.
Gao Xiumin: I'm talking about you, you. It's no use doing the same thing. Listen, old man. Let's not talk about things when we enter the house. Let's put on our hats and say a few more words to celebrate the New Year. As long as the township head is happy, communication is almost the same.
Zhao Benshan: People in top hats give you pleasure?
Gao Xiumin: Well, don't mention his township head. Even if the president puts a top hat on him, he will be happy, Charles de Gaulle!
Zhao Benshan: Oh ~
Gao Xiumin: Knock.
Zhao Benshan: Gee, I'm afraid to meet the leader ~ ~ ~
Gao Xiumin: Remember, don't talk about anything before entering the house. Look me in the eye.
Zhao Benshan: Hmm ~ You knock ~
Fan Wei: Oh, I'm back ~ ~ ~ And you are?
Gao Xiumin: I'm your aunt.
Fan Wei: Auntie?
Gao Xiumin: Ah, we used to be friends. Xiaomi raised you, and your beard is full of stories. Do you remember?
Fan Wei: Which family do you come from?
Gao Xiumin: Laogaojia in the east, the first one that enters the door, three big tile houses, and my father.
Zhao Benshan: Nicknamed Tall Russian!
Fan Wei: Ouch ~ What is this?
Gao Xiumin: He is my father.
Zhao Benshan: The tall Russian is my uncle. No, I am his father's father-in-law. No, his father is my father-in-law We were made for each other.
Gao Xiumin: Township Head, if I were here, you would have to call him Uncle! Come and meet.
Zhao Benshan: Uncle ~ Happy New Year ~
Gao Xiumin: On the contrary, he called you an old uncle.
Zhao Benshan: Haha.
Gao Xiumin: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Fan Wei: Haha.
Zhao Benshan: Did you let me in?
Fan Wei: This old man?
Gao Xiumin: Come in, flight attendant. What are you still doing outside?
Fan Wei: Whose home is this?
Zhao Benshan: Sit down!
Fan Wei: Oh.
Gao Xiumin: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Zhao Benshan: Ha ha ha.
Gao Xiumin: Township Head, do you remember?
Fan Wei: Oh, I still don't remember.
Gao Xiumin: Did I see you off the day you went to middle school? When you left, I saw you off on the way. When you turned around, you waved to the villagers. At that time, my aunt was silent and tears fell.
Zhao Benshan: Do you have camel bells in your ears?
Gao Xiumin: Remember?
Fan Wei: Ah ~ I remember the lyrics ~ but you still don't remember them.
Gao Xiumin: No wonder you don't remember. You said I was in my thirties when you were in middle school, and I'm 50 this year.
Zhao Benshan: I'm 56.
Gao Xiumin: Who asked you?
Zhao Benshan: I'm 56 years old whether you ask me or not. I am a chicken ~
Gao Xiumin: You said you wanted to talk about this man. Nowhere to see. We haven't seen each other for 20 years. You said you became a township head. Why go there to argue?
Fan Wei: I'm the head of the township. I have nothing to defend?
Zhao Benshan: What's it called? Fan Xiangchang was born to be an official. Have you forgotten? I chose you as the head of the township that year. Am I the representative of the village?
Fan Wei: Ah, yes, yes,
Zhao Benshan: I remember it rained in July that year. That guy has been crying from morning till noon, and the thunder is very loud, and the head of Fan Township was born.
Fan Wei: You didn't say I was struck by lightning, did you?
Gao Xiumin: Oh, township head, he didn't mean that. What he means is: thunder rumbles, and Fan, as the township head, leads the peasant revolution ~
"Ladies and gentlemen, hello! Now you are watching CCTV's outdated column "Nonsense", and I am Xiao Cui, the host of the program! Today, I am fortunate to have invited two famous old people-Uncle Blue Sky and Aunt Baiyun. Here are two old people, welcome. (The song of the matador rings? Closed and steep? Narrow? Thumb and Baba are dead? " Live broadcast?
& amp
Nbsp In Cui Yongyuan's introduction, Zhao Benshan and Song Dandan played the roles of "blue sky" and "white clouds" respectively, and told the audience about the life changes and social events of the old couple in 2006 by dancing the tango. Some focus events in the entertainment circle this year have also become the focus of these three people's "chatter". "
Zhao Benshan: "Hello, leading comrades, 0606 is amazing. Liu Xiang broke the record and beat the gringo. Yao Ming is a basketball player. He learned to use his head when playing. Shenzhou VI went to heaven, all by superb technology. People work hard to get rich, so they don't have to worry about food and clothing. The prosperity of the country depends entirely on the leadership of the party. Looking at the world trend, China has the best development! "
Cui Yongyuan: "In today's society, firstly, we can't trust advertisements, secondly, we can't trust weather forecasts, and thirdly, we can't trust entertainment reports."
Zhao Benshan: Not to mention Xiao Cui, you don't know. Your aunt stares at entertainment reports on TV and newspapers every day. Very cute.
Song Dandan: "After Zhao Zhongxiang, I have been looking for someone to fill the vacant idol position in my heart."
Zhao Benshan: "You said that in this entertainment circle, yesterday, some people beat and scolded reporters and played big cards. Today, someone has plastic surgery and is pregnant ... You say, Xiao Cui, why are there so few female directors in China? "
Song Dandan: "After Zhao Zhongxiang, I like Huang Jianxiang who knows football."
Cui Yongyuan: "They all belong to the top generation. Didn't see it, aunt still likes idolization? "
Song Dandan: "I heard that Huang Jianxiang divorced his wife and gave up his children since he fell in love with that super girl."
Cui Yongyuan: "Yes, there was a commentary event in the World Cup later."
Song Dandan: "After I came back, I couldn't understand football. I went to Deyun Society to talk about cross talk. "
Cui Yongyuan: "It is reported that he resigned in CCTV."
Zhao Benshan: "I said I was concentrating on writing a book. The title of the book has been decided, and it is called "Why did I say this at the World Cup? "
Cui Yongyuan: That's it, "Penalty! Penalty! Grosso has done meritorious service, long live the great Italy! Long live the great Italian left back! At this time, the left-back was possessed by the soul, Maldini ... "
Song Dandan: "Yes, yes, that's right. I watched it with your uncle in the middle of the night. His howling woke up my grandson. "
Zhao Benshan: "A lot of car alarms were broken that night."
Talk about sth.
[Baiyun]: Don't eat. You said that you ate three boxes in such a short time, which made the auditorium smell of leeks everywhere and didn't like to come out with you. You said your score was too low.
Alas! Remember, when recording programs in the future, don't talk too much. Have you listened? Don't tell the truth like Tieling platform. That's a real pity. Watch me deal with him, okay? Don't say anything, okay? Good boy, ah.
Alas! Why don't you think this trav has come yet? It's so rude to treat people like wrists! Tieling station will wait for us for a few hours. You said this on CCTV. ...
[Cui Yongyuan] Ouch! Sorry everyone, sorry I'm late, sorry. You know, I didn't sleep well last night. Ouch! Aunt and uncle are here!
[Baiyun] is coming.
[Cui Yongyuan] Hello, Aunt.
[Baiyun] Ah, hello.
[Cui Yongyuan] Hello, uncle. ...
[Baiyun] Oh, you have to start quickly. Ah, there are two more columns below us. Ah, both. Come out. This Beijing TV station and Tianjin TV station have to give some face. Say your opening remarks quickly. Let's get started, ah.
[Cui Yongyuan] is more familiar than me. Dear friends, welcome to "Xiao Cui tells stories" ...
[Black soil] Hiccup!
[Cui Yongyuan] Six years ago, I interviewed an old couple from the Northeast, so ...
[Black soil] Hiccup!
[Cui Yongyuan] Six years have passed. What changes have they made? today ...
[Black soil] Hiccup!
[Cui Yongyuan] I ... I. ...
[Black Soil] Okay.
[Baiyun] It's windy. Go on with your story.
[Cui Yongyuan] Hey, I don't even know what to say.
[Baiyun] You said that you were a good host, and your adaptability was so poor that you were fooled by a few hiccups. Guess what? Sit down and I'll interview you first.
[Cui Yongyuan] Okay.
[Baiyun] What's the matter, Cui? I haven't seen you for six years. I heard you were depressed?
[Cui Yongyuan] It's all spread to Tieling?
[Baiyun] Are you better?
[Cui Yongyuan] Much better!
[Baiyun] Don't pretend, you put your uncle and aunt here. What are you pretending to be? It's all written on your face.
[Black Soil] Yes, your face used to be in distress situation, but now it looks like an emergency gathering.
[Cui Yongyuan] They love to brag too much in Tieling. Because:
[Baiyun] Take a present. I will bring you a holiday souvenir. Junior, you said ... (Black soil takes out lunch box) What the hell? This is really you ... (black soil takes out a book) quite memorable.
[Cui Yongyuan] Oh, Auntie, this book Confucius has been published.
[Baiyun] Look at the title page.
[Cui Yongyuan] Hey.
[Baiyun] Title page.
[Cui Yongyuan] "I'd like to present this book to Xiao Cui, for your trouble. I hope you can finish reading this book ... If you don't wake up, Aunt Baiyun is elegant. " thank you
[Baiyun] What else! What else! You take ... you pay. (Black Soil takes out handkerchief)
[Cui Yongyuan] Ouch, uncle! Isn't this the handkerchief that those two people turned over?
[black soil] gatekeeper face.
[Cui Yongyuan] "Turn around, shake it, exercise and fall asleep every day, and the black soil is elegant." Thank you, uncle and aunt. You brought me a present. Thank you.
[Black Soil] I haven't seen you for years. Your aunt said to bring something for the children ... (Looking at the white clouds, go back to your seat)
[Baiyun] Oh, we were just worried that you didn't sleep here.
[Cui Yongyuan] Gee, my uncles and aunts are still concerned about my sleep. How about your parents' sleep quality?
[Black soil] I feel sleepy when I touch the pillow.
[Baiyun] Heartless people have high sleep quality.
[Cui Yongyuan] Yes, a narrow-minded person like me can't sleep.
[Baiyun] didn't say you.
[Cui Yongyuan] Ah, uncle, have you been happy these six years?
[Black Soil] Happy! I sing a duet with a dozen old ladies every day ... (White clouds stare at black soil)
[Baiyun] He engages in his folk art and I engage in my publications. We care about each other in life and help each other in career. How can I describe it to you? ...
[Black Soil] I can make do with it, but how can I leave?
[Cui Yongyuan] Actually, I heard that there are some emotional problems between uncles and aunts.
[Baiyun] Gossip, absolute gossip, leaders without news are not leaders, celebrities without gossip are not celebrities, it is difficult to be a man, it is difficult to be a woman ... [Black soil] It is difficult to be a famous old woman.
[Cui Yongyuan] As you can see, this uncle is full of truth. It's a good thing I have a plan. Hey, uncle and aunt, let's do it another way. My aunt put on this earphone when I asked my uncle, and my uncle also put on this earphone when I asked my aunt. OK or not? Listen to music and relax.
[Baiyun] Lock him up.
[Cui Yongyuan] Here, put it on.
[Black soil] (put on) Oops (take off), it's too loud!
[Baiyun] Why did you say so much when I told you to button up? Hey, hey, go ahead, Cui.
[Cui Yongyuan] Hey, Auntie, why are you here this time?
[Baiyun] We ... came by special plane.
[Cui Yongyuan] That's too expensive for us to buy.
[Baiyun] Don't report it, it's all small money. Now, you have money. Look at what you're wearing. You're quite rich. Oh, it's too rich. Alas, they are all quite expensive. ...
[Cui Yongyuan] You are a mink!
[Baiyun] Wrong! Mink cashmere
[Cui Yongyuan] Is it expensive?
[Baiyun] Not expensive, 40,000.
[Cui Yongyuan] Forty thousand dollars is not expensive? Aunt is really willing to spend money on herself!
[Baiyun] Woman, be hard on yourself.
[Cui Yongyuan] Can I ask Uncle again?
[Baiyun] OK.
[Cui Yongyuan] Listening to music.
(Take off the black earth headphones)
[Baiyun] Let me ask you, it's your turn.
[Black Soil] This sound is quite loud.
Uncle Cui Yongyuan, I heard that you came to Beijing by special plane this time?
[Black soil] Ah, it's a brick tractor.
[Cui Yongyuan] It's so cold.
[Black Soil] She wears a lot. It's all against the wind. Look at her clothes.
[Cui Yongyuan] Aunt, is this dress expensive?
[Black soil] Old and expensive! I rented it for forty-one days.
[Cui Yongyuan] Rent? How's it going? Did it work? Still have to ask. Ah, I'll ask my aunt again. Listen to music.
[Baiyun] What are you laughing at now? I think there's something wrong here. Look at my gesture.
[Black soil] Got it.
[Baiyun] You ask, Cui.
Aunt Cui Yongyuan, tell me about your book.
[Baiyun] Books?
[Cui Yongyuan] Mm-hmm.
[Baiyun] There are many things to say when telling stories. So, where do we start?
[Cui Yongyuan] Let's talk about signing books first.
[Baiyun] Book signing?
[Cui Yongyuan] Ah.
[Baiyun] That guy's signing ceremony was quite big that day! That's really: gongs and drums are loud, firecrackers are ringing, red flags are flying, and people are crowded. Then push me under the table and the pile of books will fall down.
[Cui Yongyuan] Oh. Then I'll ask my uncle again
[Baiyun] OK. Ask you, my book, my book.
[Cui Yongyuan] Ah, were you there the day uncle, uncle and aunt signed the book?
[black soil] didn't sign the book.
[Cui Yongyuan] No?
[Black soil] is all white!
[Cui Yongyuan] So, did Aunt just say "a sea of people"?
[Black Soil] Oh, Mom, I heard that all the people in the town who gave away the books went to get them. I went back to put up the wall. That's in the left building, right building, left building, right building. Later, when I went to the toilet, I saw such a thick stack of books. (Parents high-five)
[Cui Yongyuan] Aunt, give me the earphone.
[Baiyun] The IQ is quite high.
[Black soil] Yes.
[Cui Yongyuan] That's it. Just now, I asked my uncle and aunt the same question.
[Baiyun] Yes!
[Cui Yongyuan] But you two answer. ...
[Baiyun] Mm-hmm.
[Cui Yongyuan] Not at all. Well, I'll put on my headphones and listen to music. You work in pairs.
[Baiyun] No, why, what did you say? How did we get here?
[Black Soil] I came by tractor.
[Baiyun] Where's my skirt?
[black soil] rented for forty-one days.
[Baiyun] Where's my book?
[Black Soil] I did what you did. Didn't you say you were completely glued to the wall? Finally, read in the toilet.
[Baiyun] I told you not to tell the truth. Why don't you remember?
[Black soil] Then there is no way out. His things have been detained. This child is not good at school! I said he would go. Trav.
(Cui Yongyuan takes off her headphones)
[Black Soil] You put it on. (Thumbs up) You are a bad student, you are so insidious! You don't blame yourself for not sleeping. You have too many brains. You should, ah!
[Cui Yongyuan] Ah, thank you!
[Baiyun] Their hosts are all like this! Tell you, from now on, don't say a word, don't say a word, do you hear, remember? Say something!
[Black Soil] Why don't you shut up? !
[Baiyun] It's too difficult to cooperate with you. You said I had no tacit understanding in my life! Trey, take it off.
[Cui Yongyuan] Hey (takes off headphones).
[Baiyun] Let's keep talking.
[Cui Yongyuan] Good! Then I'll ask uncle another question.
(Black soil indicates that Cui Yongyuan can't speak)
[Cui Yongyuan] Huh?
[Baiyun] Huh?
[Cui Yongyuan] Ah, what's the matter, uncle? (Black soil covers your mouth)
[Baiyun] Ah, he has a stomachache. Say you have a stomachache.
(Black soil covers the stomach)
[Baiyun] Why is it still drooping?
[Black soil] (clutching his stomach) Where is his stomach?
[Cui Yongyuan] Oh, aunt, your family education is really strict! Uncle will be hurt where you hurt him.
[Baiyun] No, he's, uh, not feeling well. Ask me.
[Cui Yongyuan] I just read your book. The first chapter is called "going home". Probably the last time I watched the program and went back to Tieling. Is it particularly spectacular?
[Baiyun] How can it be called "special" spectacular? This is "quite" spectacular! That guy, the scene is really big, really: gongs and drums are loud, firecrackers are ringing, red flags are flying, people are crowded, so ...
[Black Soil] Xiao Cui, I beg you, let me put this thing on!
[Baiyun] (takes off headphones) Is what I said false?
[Black soil] Really.
[Baiyun] You're not listening, are you?
[Black soil] Yes.
Then why are you hiding it? !
[Black soil] I have a stomachache.
[Baiyun] Why is it so annoying? Cui, keep asking, ah. Ignore him, he has never seen the world.
[Cui Yongyuan] I know. In fact, my aunt has seen a lot of the world since she became a celebrity. Does she take part in many activities?
[Baiyun] Quite a lot. All day, we just performed everywhere, gave speeches everywhere and cut the ribbon.
[Cui Yongyuan] A lot of appearance fees, right?
[Black Soil] She is eighty and I am forty.
[Baiyun] After tax.
[Cui Yongyuan] Where did you cut the ribbon?
[Baiyun] Both are large and medium-sized enterprises.
[Black soil] Pancake shops, blacksmith furnaces and so on.
[Baiyun] Ah ... There is a big chicken farm in our country, and I cut it all down.
[Black Soil] Yes, she got bird flu after cutting it, and the next day. At that time, more than 10,000 chickens died, and finally she was nicknamed "Yijian".
[Baiyun] Will you suffocate if you don't talk? Can I choke you? !
[Black Soil] I can suppress madness.
[Baiyun] Why is it so annoying? You said you were. ...
[Black Soil] Tell the truth ...
[Baiyun] I don't want to say that your business has brought you a blow and left you with face. (To Cui Yongyuan) I don't want to say anything about him! You said just him, so people can go out and sing. Can you sing with this voice? That day I went to our nursing home to sing for others. Seven old people were sitting in * * *. He shouted out and fainted six.
[Cui Yongyuan] Isn't there another one?
[Baiyun] Another dean refused to let go of my hand. That guy can shake hard. "Elder sister, eldest brother this voice is too sudden. I can't take it anymore. Let big brother go home quickly. People sing for money. He sings like hell! "
[Black Soil] Hello! You have to give a speech in a mental hospital.
[Baiyun] Mm-hmm.
[black soil] said a day and a night.
[Baiyun] What's the matter? All the mental patients were discharged from the hospital.
[Cui Yongyuan] It works.
[Black Soil] The doctor is crazy.
[Baiyun] Which doctor is crazy, let me ask you?
[Black Soil] Dr. Cui is crazy.
[Baiyun] Dr. Cui? !
[Black Soil] Little Doctor Cui.
[Baiyun] How can you talk so irresponsibly? You said you ... Trey, don't eat your heart. He didn't say anything about you. So ... What about this Alzheimer's disease? I forgot to take my medicine when I went out. Cui, let's continue to talk about literature so as not to interrupt him. Why is it so annoying? You said you ...
Cui Yongyuan] So, aunt, shall we talk about your book?
[Baiyun] Mm-hmm.
[Cui Yongyuan] I heard that your Zi Yue 2 is being written.
[Baiyun] There are more than ten thousand words of 10 before the deadline.
[Black soil] Oh, my God ~ ~ ~
[Baiyun] What's the matter? !
[Black soil] I have a stomachache.
[Baiyun] Hold on! ! (To Cui Yongyuan) You ask! !
[Cui Yongyuan] Ouch! (The book falls to the ground)
[Baiyun] Go ahead, Cui. You keep asking.
[Cui Yongyuan] I heard that, er, readers are particularly looking forward to it?
[Baiyun] How do you say "special" expectations? That's "quite" expectation! That guy, er, wanted to watch Zi Yue No.2 after watching Zi Yue No.1, but he held back.
[Black Soil] Well, that's true. That is "quite" uncomfortable! Well, when the village head came to my house, he blocked the door and said to you, "Don't let your wife go anywhere, just write Zi Yue II, because there is no paper in the toilet at the head of the village."
[Baiyun] Xiao Cui, I beg you that CCTV will ban me. I'm leaving. I'm not recording.
[Cui Yongyuan] Hey, why did Auntie leave again?
[Black Soil] What are you doing?