"Everyone else can't survive the seven-year itch of marriage. You've only been married for four years, so why can't you live? " With the words of the staff of the divorce registry of the People's Insurance Bureau plummeting, Lily and Li Hai suddenly became ex-wives and ex-husbands on the newly issued divorce certificate. After four years of marriage, the custody of the 3-year-old boy was returned to the ex-husband.
Zhang Xiaoxian said: "What a man hurts a woman is not necessarily that he falls in love with someone else, but that he lets her down when she has expectations, fails to support her when she is weak, and envies her when she is successful."
? Their love story began more than six years ago. Lily and Li Hai met on a dating website. At first, they added WeChat and chatted every day. Then Li Hai asked Lily to meet him. Li Hai is white and chubby. He looks polite and reliable with glasses. Lily is tall and happy. They felt good after contact and gradually developed into free love in reality. Like all ordinary couples, they date, watch movies, eat and go shopping. Sometimes Li Hai invites you to dinner and Lily goes to the movies. Neither of them cares much about money. So in the first year of love, I met my parents smoothly, and in the second year of love, I came to the point of talking about marriage.
Li Hai vowed to buy a house and live our own life after one year of marriage. When I first got married, I could only live in my in-laws' house, with a bride price of 50 thousand and a banquet for each family.
? Lily, immersed in sweet love, said to Li Hai: I married love. I want you to be nice to me, not to build a house or a car. It is most important that we live happily together for one year. No problem, there are many people, and I will be filial to my in-laws. The man should pay for the banquet. Since your family is in financial difficulties, my parents also understand that our parents originally planned to buy a car for us, and our family will not buy a car after the banquet.
But Lily's parents don't recommend that the two generations live together after marriage. Her family has a vacant independent house. I hope Lily and Li Hai can live alone in their small family. Li Haize thinks it will be awkward to live in Lily's family, and women should live in her husband's family when they get married.
Lily didn't take her parents' words to heart at all, and she wanted to marry Li Hai naked. After more than a month of marriage, Lily became pregnant. The doctor said that the embryo was unstable in the early stage of pregnancy, so it was suggested to rest more. Lily asked for leave to have a baby. My mother-in-law is from the countryside. She thinks the doctor is talking nonsense. She shouldn't be too delicate when she is pregnant. She should walk more. Today, she will go out to buy some toilet paper. Tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, she will carry a bucket of water to scrub the dirty places at home. Because of her new wife, Lily is embarrassed to refuse her mother-in-law's request, and she will do whatever her mother-in-law says. As a result, she miscarried in the process of carrying water. After returning from the hospital, Li Hai asked Lily what was going on. Lily told the truth that her stomach ached when her mother-in-law asked her to carry water, and then she bled.
Hearing this, the mother-in-law cursed Lily: Even if you are pregnant with a child, you can't stand useless things. I also blame you for carrying water. We used to be very good from pregnancy to life. Did we have too many abortions with savages before?
Lily cried very sadly. I didn't expect my mother-in-law to be so strange and unreasonable. She was a dirty lie, and her eldest daughter, Huang Hua, married Li Hai innocently. The doctor also said that she had to stay in bed to protect the fetus, so she couldn't lift heavy objects. What surprised her even more was that Li Hai was silent beside her, watching her mother-in-law keep cursing. Lily took a backpack and stopped a taxi to go back to her parents' house. Her mother took care of her for a month. My mother-in-law didn't visit once in the whole month, but my father-in-law came to see it once.
? Since then, Lily has cast a shadow over her heart, unwilling to live in her mother-in-law's house, and has been living in the house arranged by her parents before marriage. When Li Hai is not busy at work, she will come to see Lily and persuade her mother to be heartless and sad to see her grandson gone, so her words are too radical. ? Besides, my father-in-law came to see it. My mother-in-law has to go to work and has no time to come. Under Li Hai's persuasion, Lily still thinks about home and everything. After all, my mother-in-law is an elder, so it is good to give her a grandson to make her old man happy in the future. Before long, Lily was pregnant again. In view of the lessons of the last abortion, Lily stayed at her mother's house to protect her baby and didn't go back to her mother-in-law's house until she gave birth.
? Near the due date, Li Hai borrowed 50,000 yuan from Lily, and Lily repeatedly asked Li Hai to return the 50,000 yuan borrowed before marriage to her mother-in-law. Lily thinks that the money borrowed before marriage is unclear before marriage. After the marriage, Li Hai had no money, so she had to take out Lily's bride price of 50,000 yuan to pay off her debts. Lily further asked Li Hai if she had anything to hide. Li Hai confessed that she lost 240,000 playing gambling machines at home before marriage. My mother-in-law is very angry. Lily was angry at Li Hai's premarital concealment. Li Hai said it was a white lie, fearing that Lily would break up if she knew before she got married, and she would definitely correct it later and never touch the gambling machine again. In order to make her mother-in-law not angry, Lily took out a bride price of 50 thousand and lent it to Li Hai. Li Hai also promised to return 50,000 yuan to Lily after the company settled the account.
A month later, Lily gave birth to a boy, and her in-laws were very happy. The concept of son preference prevails in rural areas, and in-laws feel that confinement should be done in their hometown in rural areas. The air in the village is good, there are old people at home, and four generations live happily together. Lily thinks that Li Hai is working in the city and returning to the countryside for confinement. She is weak after giving birth and will have postpartum depression. She is not very familiar with her in-laws, with different living habits and different languages. Plus, she is away from home, and her husband and mother are not around, so she will be very lonely. Li Hai should also bear the responsibility as a husband and father. When she comes back from work, she can take care of the children in the second month and accompany her wife who just gave birth. However, Li Hai insisted on listening to her in-laws and asked to go back to her hometown for confinement. The air is good.
During confinement, Lily couldn't sleep well every day because of breastfeeding. Her mother-in-law opens the window every morning whether Lily and the baby are still sleeping or not, saying that the milk in the room is too strong for her to smell, and asks Lily to get up for dinner. Every day, she kept saying that in those days, just after giving birth, they went to work in the fields and came back to do housework, and so on. There is another person whose daughter's dowry has a house and a car. Women who were originally depressed after childbirth were easily sensitive, and Lily didn't do well in the whole confinement. For a whole month, Li Hai went back to his hometown to see Lily's mother and son once, and returned to work in the city two days later.
? After drinking the full moon wine in the countryside, I will go back to my hometown in the city. My in-laws go to work every day, but I have to prepare all the food and soup for Lily in the kitchen. I want to eat directly in the microwave. It's also good for Lily to take care of the children at home alone. Sometimes Li Hai comes back at night, and sometimes the company doesn't come back after working overtime. Life is like this. On the issue of taking care of children, every time my in-laws come back from work and see Lily and the baby still sleeping in bed, they begin to say: Lily is lazy to take her children out in the sun and only sleeps at home every day. Talking too much about Lily is also a grievance: I take care of my children at home alone, breast-feed, can't sleep well at night and don't feel sleepy during the day. Plus, I haven't recovered after giving birth, and my energy is even lower. It's not long before the baby's full moon, and there are so many bacteria outside. What should I do if I get sick?
It is common to live under the same roof. How can there be no contradiction between the two generations' views on parenting? Lily always thinks she is a junior and can't contradict her elders. She just listened to her in-laws and stayed until the end of maternity leave. Lily goes to work. From Monday to Friday, Lily asks her mother to take care of the children, and after work on Friday, she takes the children back to her in-laws for two days. Li Hai was not very happy, and the two quarreled and broke up. Lily said that the two generations have different ideas and eating habits. In this way, there will be more and more contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which will affect the feelings of husband and wife. Besides, there is a vacant room in her family, and they need their own family of three. You only need to be a good son to live with your in-laws, but you are not only the son of your parents, but also the consciousness and responsibility of your husband and father. Moreover, every time Lily asks Li Hai to hand in her salary card, Li Hai always says that she needs to buy milk powder and daily necessities as soon as her salary is paid, and she will be given one or two thousand yuan a month. Sometimes I borrow two or three thousand dollars from Lily, and her salary is only three thousand dollars.
In this way, when the child was 2 years old, Lily felt that the future security, family savings, children's education, and current expenses. Family property should be managed centrally, and Li Hai was forced to ask for a salary card. He went to the bank to check Li Hai's bank card records and found that when he didn't know Li Hai, he deducted his salary directly from the bank every month and repaid the loan. Lily is very suspicious and angry. She immediately went to Li Hai to make it clear. Li Hai confessed truthfully, because before she met Lily, she lost a lot of money playing gambling machines. In addition to losing her parents' 240 thousand, she also borrowed money from banks and various channels. After five years of love and three years of marriage, she has been paying her debts. Li Hai said: At present, there are still about 80,000 yuan to be paid back slowly, which is only half a year. Sometimes love money is lent out for eating, drinking and having fun. Anyway, my salary is high, and I pay back 10 thousand a month myself, so don't worry about Lily. It's not money that makes Lily angry. The man who has been entrusted with his life has concealed so many gambling debts, which she firmly believes. If she had known that the money for the love, marriage and travel was borrowed, Lily would not have gone to play. After the naked marriage, she found that she was cheated to hide huge debts, which was a great blow and distressed. But in order to give the child a complete home, Lily kept silent about the divorce and continued to endure it. She still believes that if Li Hai pays off his debts eight months later and then slowly saves money, it will be a test for God.
? Later, when the child went to kindergarten, he would live with his mother-in-law. Mother-in-law hates that they don't give her parents-in-law living expenses every day, criticizes Lily for not being able to take care of the children, criticizes Lily for not being able to cook, and criticizes Lily for not being able to manage Li Hai's money and not saving it. Li Hai often makes excuses not to go home because of his busy work. Lily is extremely wronged and sad: before marriage, your family concealed Li Hai's gambling debts, and after marriage, her mother-in-law made an excuse to ask for 50 thousand bride price. Her father-in-law also asked Li Hai for 30,000 yuan to build a house for relatives in rural areas. After four years of marriage, Li Hai's salary card has been paying off debts. Most of her pregnant children have lived in their parents' homes in recent years. Her mother takes care of her life, takes the children back to her mother-in-law's house, and has to find living expenses for eating. However, if Li Hai has no debts, Li Hai's salary will be paid off in full, and Lily's own salary must support herself and her children. Isn't it unreasonable for her mother-in-law to ask for living expenses with a sad face in this case?
Under this injustice, when her mother-in-law asked Lily to educate Lily, the first and last quarrel broke out after marriage, because Lily knew that she could only speak for herself and could not continue filial piety. Lily didn't want to put up with it any longer, because she had considered divorce, otherwise she would become depressed, so it broke out. I heard my mother-in-law's abuse: you have no room and no car to accompany you, and your salary is low. What are the disadvantages? Only Li Hai wants you, and no one wants a woman like you. I don't like you. How can your mother raise a silly girl like you? My husband has treated you like a fool for years, and it's no use giving you money. My father-in-law also helped teach Lily a lesson and told her to get out of their house. Li Hai still looked on coldly, without even a word of justice to make peace.
Lily's heart is completely cold. Back to her parents' house, she said that she lived with Li Hai after all, not with his parents. Let's look at Li Hai's performance. As a result, in the month after the quarrel, Lily lived with her children in her parents' house, with children having birthdays, Mid-Autumn Festival and National Day. Li Hai didn't visit Lily's mother and son once at his parents' house, which also made his parents chilling. She thinks this son-in-law is too difficult to manage and has a bad personality. After all, what her husband's family wants is her family's house and car. Lily's life is so long that she can't always live by looking at people's faces. Since Li Hai's parents thought the family was rich, they gave their children to the family. After all, they will not mistreat their grandchildren. Lily's parents and family members think that since it is cheating, because cheating is for the benefit, the man will continue to cheat Lily for a long time. Therefore, divorce is the best relief.