Engagement, please introduce.
In the marriage proposal house, you have to choose a family's children to get married, and invite an introducer to entertain you at home and explain the significance of marriage proposal, so the introducer runs around and plays the role of a medium.
encounter
If the marriage is agreed by the introducer, the two objects will meet at the man's or his relatives' home at the appointed time and get engaged after talking. When meeting, the man should simply entertain, and the main relatives of both parties should attend and participate in the comments. After the conversation, the two will give each other gifts (the man gives the woman four gifts for her suit, and the woman gives the man a lighter gift). If the other party accepts the gift, it means agreement, otherwise there will be a problem.
Kanwu
In recent years, there has been a regulation that women go to the man's house to look after the house. When looking at the house, the woman's main relatives should accompany her, and the man should throw a decent banquet, give her a heavier gift than when he first met, and at least get dressed. If the man doesn't agree to see the house, he needs to convert the cost of seeing the house into cash, which is purely courtesy.
Pull clothes
After seeing the house, the introducer and both parties agreed on the room number, color, time, place and who to go to. On this day, the man's officiator and introducer go to the county seat with the woman, generally pulling four or six pieces of clothes (two for each body, 7-9 feet each), ranging from ten to eight pieces, and at least 200 to 300 yuan, ranging from 2,800 yuan. Bought Buduo at the beginning of liberation, but now it mainly uses wool and silk. Besides clothing, there are shoes, socks, scarves, wool, bags and so on. After pulling the clothes, the group went to a restaurant for dinner and ordered ten eight dishes, which cost several hundred yuan. It is often difficult for rural people to pull their clothes.
Sit down and drink.
People in the north of Weihe River are called "Eating Banquet", while people in the south of Weihe River are called "Li Guo", and people call it "Copy, Copy, Copy", which means "Eat, Eat, Eat". The etiquette of sitting and drinking is very grand. On this day, men will kill pigs and sheep, prepare chickens, ducks and fish, invite chefs to cook, set up tents to entertain guests, and put loudspeakers at home to show wealth. The man's relatives were invited to bring gifts to the banquet, and the woman informed the clan relatives, the township party and relatives to sit in the media booth to show their approval. Ordinary sitting drinking, entertaining seven or eight tables, more than twenty tables, serving twenty or thirty dishes, the procedure is:
(1) Have tea first, with cakes and dried fruits. Four plates, nine plates and thirteen flowers (four small plates on nine plates).
(2) Eat the first meal, mostly minced meat noodles, and ask the clever women in the village to operate it, so that it is "as thin as paper and as thin as thread, and the pot turns into a lotus flower". Minced meat includes pork, mutton and shredded chicken.
(3) Two meals: drink first, then eat. When drinking, start to serve eight or four dishes; Then while drinking, serving food, food is varied. When drinking, the male object is brought by the female family to toast the female guests one by one, which is called recognizing the son-in-law, and the female object is brought by the male family to toast the male guests to recognize the daughter-in-law. After three rounds of drinking, the introducer will put the clothes prepared by the man for his daughter-in-law and the gifts given by the guests on a big plate, present them to the bride's head (including the wedding cash agreed in advance, sealed with red paper) and deliver them face to face. If there are no comments, the engagement (gift) task is completed. Eating after drinking is usually a plate of nine dishes with steamed buns. At present, wedding booking can be roughly divided into "Renyi Pro”240 yuan," Ordinary Pro”360 yuan, and the ones above are "High Price Pro". After the ceremony, every four or eight days, unmarried men and women should give each other holiday gifts, and the gift of the man is more important than that of the woman. When the woman comes to the man's house to send holiday gifts, she will be warmly received by him.
Pick an auspicious day.
That is, choose an auspicious day to get married, and the country people call it a festive day. If the man wants to get married, the matchmaker persuades the woman and asks her husband to calculate the auspicious day. First of all, let's look at the male and female zodiac signs of "benefiting the moon" and "losing the moon". There is a ballad of Huiyue: "Zheng and Qi welcome chickens and rabbits, two or eight tigers and monkeys, three or nine snakes and pigs, four or seven dragons and dogs, five, ten, one and six cattle and sheep, and wax rats and horses go." Secondly, in choosing auspicious days and auspicious times, in addition to the above-mentioned stress, widows are also afraid to be close to four-eyed people (pregnant women) when choosing auspicious days, fearing to be "happy" and so on. Nowadays, this bad habit has gradually decreased.
marry
Also called marriage, rural people call it marrying a wife. The old-fashioned wedding is very complicated and exquisite, and its main items are:
Deacon, please:
The person who officiated at the wedding. Please write a gift pen: that is, please ask Mr. Li to write the wedding couplet (door opening door) the day before, and get the gift list on the wedding day. Please be a guest: country people call guests. Men invite guests and women invite women (or maids). "Guest" should choose two married people of the same age as the groom, who have a good relationship and good family conditions (called blessed people). The task is to accompany the groom to the wedding. Invite chefs (including red chefs who cook and white chefs who steam steamed buns). Please run around: that is, invite people, relatives and friends to do housework, such as borrowing furniture, building a shed, shopping, boiling water, entertaining, etc. Please entertain people: that is, "turtle" (a folk band), with three, five and eight mouths, played with bells and drums. Rental sedan chair: There are two kinds of sedan chair (sedan chair) and green sedan chair (blue sedan chair), both of which are made of wood, rectangular, double-column, and the top is like a square cover. The sedan chair is 5 feet long, 3.5 feet wide and 5 feet high, with a flat top and bottom. There is a curtain on the front door. There is one in the sedan chair. Two sedan chairs are 1.2 feet long and can be carried by four people. The red sedan chair is covered with red cloth, the sedan chair is covered with carved colored curtains, and the green sedan chair is covered with green cloth or blue cloth. The top is conical, engraved with "Kirin to send the child", with red hydrangeas hanging at four corners and eight immortals engraved on four arms.
Wedding:
As a man, it is the curtain of the program for the "marriage" instrument; The women's home is a "farewell" ceremony. Early this morning, the bride was dressed up by the maid who combed her hair, waiting for her husband to get married. The groom is wearing a robe (blue satin), a hat and a red flower arrangement. Accompanied by his uncle, aunt, Xiang Bin, bearers and musicians, he rode or sat in a sedan chair (in the old days, the rich family also had the groom sitting in a green sedan chair and the red sedan chair to marry the bride), carrying gifts such as a "phoenix crown", a magic mirror and an umbrella. In the music, the groom kowtowed to his parents-in-law and entered the banquet. The bridesmaids of the bride put on crowns and chardonnays, Hong Xiuxie and red silk hijab, bid farewell to ancestral shrines and salute their parents, brothers and sisters.
At this time, the bride's feeling of parting arises spontaneously, and the crying is touching, which is called "crying sedan chair" or "crying marriage". There is also a cry called "Crying Sedan Song": "Niang, Niang, you raised me. Today, you are married and become a guest, leaving your siblings to look after you, like a steel knife to dig my heart." Amid the music and gunfire, the maid who combed her hair helped her into the sedan chair, and the door of the sedan chair fell down. The magic mirror is hung on the pole of the car. Choose two children to escort the car, which is called "escort the car". The musician plays in front, followed by the "clothes rack" (the wooden frame for the bride's dowry and other needlework) and the "stone basket" (the wooden suitcase for the bride's decorations and daily necessities). The groom rides in front of the sedan chair and combs the maid's car, followed by the guests of the bride's family, forming a long queue called "people who eat the wedding banquet".
In every village where the sedan chair passed, the guns stopped, and the women in the village competed to watch and evaluate the bride's craftsmanship. When a sedan chair crosses a bridge, an intersection or a street, it is necessary to fire a gun, and some people even stick a red note to express their willingness to exorcise evil spirits (whether the ceremony for sending the girl is grand or not depends on the rich and the poor). If you bump into relatives on the way (two sedan chairs meet), exchange gifts to make way, indicating that they will not interfere with each other and be safe. If the coffin is lost, you have to divert it, or cover the sedan chair with red silk and move forward in the sound of gunfire.
Wedding:
Also known as "worship the church" and "worship the heaven and earth", it is presided over by the deacon and dressed in formal attire (hat and robe). From the beginning of welcoming the sedan chair, the "deacon" held a bucket filled with licorice (representing gold) and bran (representing silver), sang "Song of Forage", welcomed the bride out of the sedan chair with firecrackers, entered the palace, and ordered the groom to take off the bride's hijab, symbolizing the mutual recognition of the couple. On the table in front of the main hall, there are incense, candles, offerings and memorial tablets dedicated to "heaven, earth, monarch, relatives and teachers"; The red carpet on the floor is for the bride and groom to kowtow; In addition, there are six objects on the table: bucket, scale, ruler, scissors, abacus, and mirror (the "six cards" symbolizing the legendary "three media and six cards"), which means "fair and reasonable, with clear mind as a mirror".
Attached is a song "Song of Forage" circulated in the middle of the Republic of China and a memorial ceremony for the church;
"Song of Forage" was sung by the deacon to welcome the sedan chair: "When the sedan chair arrived at the door, the host and guest stood on both sides, beating drums to welcome guests and setting off firecrackers to celebrate the family banquet. Lu' an Feng Ming is happy, Lantian is planted with beautiful jade, and it is auspicious to live in happiness. A good daughter is matched with a good husband. "
Word of getting off the sedan chair (deacon's note when the bride gets off the sedan chair): "One scatters chaff, the other scatters material, and the third scatters new people to get off the sedan chair".
When entering the door (the bride got out of the sedan chair and was helped in by the man's relatives): "One scatters gold, the other scatters silver, and the third evacuates people to enter the door".
Entering the temple: "The scenery of the flower room is splendid, colorful clouds are auspicious, qingluan dances for a thousand years, and husband and wife sing together for a hundred years."
Worship in the class: "I'm looking for a peach garden to avoid Qin, peach blossom is another spring, and the fairy fish in the peach garden are chasing water, just waiting to pay attention." One worships the sun, moon and stars, the other worships oriental wood, the third worships southern fire, the fourth worships western gold, the fifth worships northern water, the sixth worships Wuji soil in the middle, the seventh worships three generations of ancestors, and the eighth worships brothers (great-grandfather, great-grandmother, great-grandfather, great-grandmother, father, mother, mother in turn).
The words of the husband and wife worship: "The weaver girl in the sky will be the cowherd, and the talented person and the beautiful woman will be the husband and wife. Now the two families are married in Qin Jin, and they are rich and glorious. "
Xie Yici; "Farewell: those who stop cars, sedan chairs, light fires and shoot guns; Those who receive guests, whistle, and cannot be greeted; Comb your hair, help your daughter, pretend to be a guest and be a confidant; Look at the guests, receive gifts and congratulate them on all sides; Mat, felt, annoying; Cutting vegetables, mixing noodles, burning pots for firewood and smashing charcoal; Picking onions, peeling garlic, carrying water and carrying donkeys; Sweep the floor, see the hospital, and serve tea to wipe the case; Holding a baby, collecting eggs, buying cigarettes and drinking in the county; There are also people standing at the door and peeking on the windowsill; Nothing to do, and those who come out to swim around; End the plate, pick up the steamed bread, and call it sitting; And dogs with brown chins go to the dunghill to harm ginseng fruit ... ". Salute together. Goodbye and finish your work.
Into the bridal chamber:
After the bride and groom celebrate the New Year, they drink a glass of wine with each other, which is called "drinking a glass of wine", and the aunt leads them into the new house, which is called entering the bridal chamber. When I was in the kitchen, someone deliberately buckled a porcelain basin on the pot, and my aunt sang "Brides see the basin, mules and horses flock." Let the bride stir the iron spoon in the pot, and the aunt will sing "The more the bride stirs the pot, the more it stirs." Someone threw a pair of chopsticks into the pot, and my aunt sang; "The bride will see chopsticks and hold the prince next year". Onlookers threw a porcelain tile into the new house, and the aunt sang, "There are porcelain tiles in the bridal chamber, and a baby will be born next year." Someone put a wooden pier on the kang, and my aunt sang, "Put a pier on the kang and have grandchildren the year after next." Some people put four kinds of dried fruits in the four corners of the kang: walnuts (harmonious bald head), red dates (see red happiness) and peanuts and chestnuts (meaning peanuts). When the spectators grab the food, the aunt sings: "Seven walnuts and eight dates, what a wretched woman, the wife eats walnuts and dates, and the couple never get bored" and so on. After the bride's wedding, young men will come to ask the bride for a red seal (a coin wrapped in red paper) in the name of hanging door curtains and curtains for fun. When holding a banquet, the person who carries the plate deliberately does not take chopsticks and asks the bride for a seal; When people are not looking, the female guests of the bride's house also hide the hip flask, tea cups, dishes and so on, and even take them home. When the son-in-law goes to Zhang Yue's home for dinner, he will exchange gifts such as handkerchiefs and candy, which is very interesting for people.
Banquet:
This is called "hospitality", also called "sitting". Usually two meals, sir: one plate with nine bowls (four cold dishes and five hot dishes) and steamed buns. The second meal begins with drinking, with four or six dishes on the plate, while drinking, and then another dish with steamed bread after drinking. Tea is served before and after meals. Seats on the dining table can be divided into seniority and seniority, that is, the distinguished guests of parents' families are given to the top seats (such as in-laws, uncles, aunts, etc.). During the dinner, the bride and groom will toast the guests one by one, and the main relatives will return a gift after receiving the wine. This gift is called "recognizing relatives" and that gift is called "meeting gifts". Guessing boxing is a pleasure among banquet guests.
Game room:
Also known as "playing with the daughter-in-law" and "disturbing the new house". Three nights after marriage, people played with the house, which was colorful, including singing songs (solve riddles on the lanterns), tongue twisters, singing, kissing, eating sugar, picking cherries and giving pillows to Yuanyang. These programs are very interesting, but there are also some unhealthy contents, such as putting small guns in cigarettes, scaring the bride when she lights cigarettes, and putting Chili noodles or mustard powder in tea.
Room service:
Early the next morning after marriage, the bride's family and main relatives will send their daughter meals, including jiaozi and noodles, which means that the daughter should not forget the kindness of her parents' family, and the in-laws should treat her in-laws warmly.
Back to the door:
On the third day after marriage (if it is postponed on a single day, it means double happiness), the guests will bring a couple, carry Shiluo to the woman's house for dinner, which is called "returning to the door", also called "inviting the son-in-law", Zhang Yuejia will hold a banquet, and the son-in-law will kowtow to Zhang Yuejia's elders, and the recipients will return small gifts to show their recognition. On the day of returning home, people in the courtyard of the women's village will play with their son-in-law, who must be kind-hearted and have a good mouth, and sometimes give the red seal to pranksters. -until dark, and then go home.
Gift:
Gifts are also called salutes. To tie the knot, relatives should salute, and uncles, aunts and godfathers should pay tribute-steam a pair of tigers and put HongLing on the groom. My uncle wants to buy a lamp and a washbasin, and other relatives will decide the weight of the gift according to the distance. Although distant relatives don't need to steam tigers, they should also bring nine big steamed buns, some steamed noodles fish and some steamed oil. The gifts of fellow villagers' friends are generally cash, which is called "dry gift". When the son of a respected person gets married, many villagers jointly sign "Happy Birthday" (also known as "note", that is, red silk satin), which reads "Natural Marriage" and "Happy Queqiao", and the host congratulates the villagers and holds a banquet for reception.
Gift-giving Custom of Married Men in Shaanxi: Four Gifts
In Shaanxi wedding custom, the man should give the woman "four kinds of gifts", which is also a etiquette that both male and female elders attach great importance to. These "four gifts" include: heart meat, lotus seeds, cigarettes and wine. Good delivery, satisfied at home, bad delivery. If your family is angry, I'm afraid it will affect your future life.
Meat: This piece of meat is very particular and is called "heart meat". According to research, when a girl was born, she weighed about six pounds. This six pounds fell from my mother, which is naturally my mother's "pride". It is not easy to raise an adult. Now once you get married, this "about six pounds" must be returned to your mother-in-law. Therefore, when the groom buys meat (vegetable market), he must explain that it is to "send four gifts", choose fresh, ribbed, five-flowered and three-layered meat, and tie it with a belt.
Lotus root (lotus root): This kind of lotus root is not used for cooking, and its shape should be two-in-one, with strong growth, knotted branchlets, regenerated branches and staggered roots, big and small, but it must not be broken, indicating that it is white and clean and full of children and grandchildren. Similarly, when you buy "lotus" (lotus root) (vegetable market), you should explain that it is for "giving four gifts".
Smoke: It means a happy marriage. You'd better buy two pairs for good luck.
Wine: It means eternity. Yes, man, you'd better buy two bottles for good luck.
Shaanxi wedding day customs:
Eat glutinous rice balls: Before getting married, the groom should eat glutinous rice balls with his parents, brothers and girlfriend to show goodbye. Mother feeds her daughter dumplings, and the bride cries.
Cute: After meeting the bride's family, the groom will give the bouquet to the bride who is about to get married in the room. At this time, the bride's girlfriend should deliberately stop the groom, but the condition is that the groom agrees, usually with a red envelope gift.
Farewell: The bride should say goodbye to her parents, while the groom can just bow.
Going out: The bride should be escorted on the limousine by a female elder with a bamboo plaque or a black umbrella, because the bride can't see the sunshine overhead, and the other party hopes to live a happy life like this female elder. (Note: Prepare a bamboo plaque and paste a happy word on it)
Gift car: bamboo plaque can be placed on the back cover of the gift car.
Fan worship: Before the bride got on the limousine, an auspicious little boy held a fan (put it on a tea tray) for the bride, and the bride returned a red envelope to express her gratitude. (Note: Prepare a fan and bring two small red envelopes)
Never say goodbye: never say goodbye to a woman's family when everyone leaves her home.
Throw a fan: After the car starts, the bride should throw the fan out of the window to show that she will not bring her bad temper to her husband's house. The little boy will pick up the fan and give it to her family. They will return a red envelope to thank her.
Firecrackers: The limousine leaves the woman's house to set off firecrackers.
Touch oranges: When the limousine arrives at the man's house, a child with two oranges greets the couple. The bride should gently touch the orange and then thank the red envelope.
Guide the bride: When the bride gets off the bus, a lucky elder of the man will hold a bamboo plaque on her head and help her into the hall. Avoid stepping on the threshold, but cross it.
Go through the brazier and step on the tiles: When the bride enters the hall, she must go through the brazier and step on the tiles.
Entering the bridal chamber: The couple will sit on the bench with the groom's trousers in advance, which means that they will make concerted efforts in seeking children in the future. No man is allowed into the bridal chamber. (Choose the time to enter the bridal chamber)
Avoid sitting in a new bed: on the wedding day, no one can sit in a new bed, and the bride can't lie down to avoid being sick in bed all the year round. In addition, after going to bed, you should find an underage boy to sleep in bed with the groom on the eve of your wedding.