Comments: Deng (Song of Tianwei)

1.

The water mirror lowers the demon, and the tower ascends to heaven and meets the earth;

Plead for the people and write gobbledygook with your heart.

Comment: The architectural significance of Chongxi Pagoda written by Shanglian is to subdue the Xijiang demon dragon and ensure the safety of the people. At the same time, the towering tower is written, which is connected with the embankment and has a good scenery. The second part eulogizes Linxi's contribution to Wang Pan, and the construction of Linxi Tower has written a glorious page for Duanzhou's historical civilization. The layout and artistic conception of the All-China Federation are good, and it reads smoothly and naturally. Tian Zi and Di Zi are regular words, and they use the method of crossing appositives. If the image of picky, precious and high tower is too close, it is better to broaden it from multiple angles.

2.

High tower lingyun, see who brings dreams, overlooking ten miles of scenery and thousands of lights;

The new picture is intoxicating. Let me sing heartily and praise the charming rivers and the prosperity on both sides.

Comments: This collaboration with Lao Wang shows that the four clauses are connected smoothly and the two clauses play a role in connection. The antithesis of the All-China Federation is very neat and tidy. Three or four clauses, one leader quotes two or four sentences, and uses the method of sentence self-alignment. Chanting refers to chanting Buddhist scriptures. In this couplet, it is suggested to change it to "chanting".

3.

Climb the stairs and gather thousands of clouds in the sky;

Looking into the distance, I caught a river moon.

Comments: the first part is that the height of the tower can capture clouds; The second part is about the distance you can see when you board the plane. This distance refers to both the distance you can see and the lofty ambition. Jiang Xinyue is round, the river is clear, and the moon is bright, which is a metaphor for the current political clarity. Picking and fishing, the use of two verbs is very in place, describing the momentum and location of the tower respectively. On the banks of the Xijiang River, the scenery is beautiful. The full combination transport pen is excellent, which reads smoothly and naturally, and it is easy to pick up!

4.

Show in distant mountains;

Shelves hold the sky high.

Comments: The first couplet is overlooking the tower with picturesque view. Looking at the bottom line outside the tower, the pagoda towering into the sky. Write from the inside out, with good layout and clear organization. The antithesis of the All-China Federation is also very neat, especially the word "force", which is used vividly. The shortcoming is that this couplet lacks the specific elements of the Jubilee Tower, just like a universal couplet.

5.

Raise your head to meet the red sun;

Reach for the white clouds.

Comments: If the meter is wrong, the scarlet letter should be silent and the white word should be flat. This kind of red and white collocation, the color contrast is bright and striking. The All-China Federation has a neat antithesis of every word, but the angles of the upper and lower couplet are the same, and they all move on the tower. This writing has limited the content and failed to further expand the meaning.

6.

Wanta worships it;

Lonely clouds surround here.

Comment: the meter is right, but it is better to use the standard meter for the short joint. The upper part is parallel, and the rest are parallel. Strictly speaking, this word is flat, but it is also allowed. Many works used to be written like this. The antithesis is neatly written and immediately well written, all written at the height of the tower. But the upper and lower couplets are all about the height of the tower, and no other elements are written, which makes me feel limited. We can write about the beauty of the tower or its charm. The Jubilee Tower was built on the hill. Although there are nine floors, it is not particularly high. So "worship the tower below" seems too exaggerated.

7.

According to the Xijiang River, the pagoda is like a cloud shadow in the sky, the same color as Hengqiu;

The boat crossed the south bank and heard the sound of sculling. Someone was drunk that night.

Comments: This couplet describes the beauty of the tower and the beauty of the scenery around it from the perspectives of Heaven and Jiangshan, which is good. Moreover, the sky and the scenery in the river blend together and set each other off. This kind of joint reading is smooth and natural, and the antithesis is very neat. This is a good work. If picky, personally think:

According to (1), it means possession, possession and dependence. I think it's better to use the words "until" and "shrug". Only in this way can we highlight the height of the Jubilee Tower and contrast it with the clouds in the sky.

(2) the binary sentence, the cloud is in the sky, which means "look". When the paddle listens, it contains "listening", so the binary sentence can be omitted and replaced with other words. Or change a form of expression and write the artistic conception more beautifully. For example, it can be driven as follows:

The pagoda stands on the Xijiang River, and there are some clouds in the air, which are the same color as Hengqiu;

When the boat passed the south bank, there was a faint sound of rowing, and someone was drunk in the middle of the night.

8.

Four hundred years later, the embankment is still strong;

The tower welcomes guests from all directions, and the tower shadow is not alone.

Comments: Let's talk about rice first. According to the standard horseshoe rhyme, the word "hundred" and "square" are not even numbers. But if it is read as: years old/400 years old; You can set the level according to the rhythm when the tower greets guests from all directions. But I suggest writing in standard horseshoe rhyme. Four hundred years after the last couplet, it refers to the time to build a tower, not the function of building a tower, so it is not necessarily related to the binary sentence "the dike is still solid", but the two clauses of the next couplet are related, but the word "tower" is an irregular compound word and cannot be used like this. In terms of confrontation, 408 directions, confrontation does not work. Four and hundred are numerals, while eight and eight are numerals, and Fang is a noun with different parts of speech. It can be modified as follows for reference only:

Easy/four hundred years, the embankment is still solid;

Welcome/thousands of guests, Taying is not alone.

9.

Clear water and sunset, the waves are still connected to the two sides;

Long causeway tower, still looking at Chang 'an.

Comments:

Write a long-term vision in the first part of the couplet, like a painting, with a vicissitudes of life. Write a close-up below. Chang 'an, there should be a double solution. You can refer to your hometown. In ancient poetry, many scholars refer to Chang 'an as their hometown. Chang 'an can also be interpreted as eternal peace. However, the part-of-speech confrontation between the two sides of the strait and Chang' an is a bit incomplete. Still and still, the same meaning, repeated here, in a narrow sense. According to the original idea, I made a little change:

Clear water and sunset, the waves are still connected to the two sides; Long Dita, can you name the seven stars in the wine? (new rhyme)

Qixing can be referred to as Qixingyan for short, and can be extended to Duanzhou. The old couplet of Chongxi Tower also has the word "seven stars", which symbolizes the vicissitudes of Duanzhou City's history. Poetry and wine, that is, chanting to bring wine to the wind, means going to the tower to mourn for the past.

10.

Qixingyan in Zhaoqing, where there are many tourists;

Chongxi thousands of feet Tower is a lighthouse to protect the embankment and protect the people.

Comments:

The first half of the couplet has gone astray and has nothing to do with Chongxi Tower. The next sentence directly embeds the word Chongxi Tower, which is plain and artistic. The first four words of the upper and lower clauses are both contradictory and self-contradictory. When reading all-in-one couplet, the upper couplet is insufficient, the lower couplet is dull, and the artistic conception and extension are insufficient.

1 1.

The nine-level floating map is surrounded on all sides;

One side loves the land for a thousand years.

Comments:

Nine-level floating pictures refer to nine-story pagodas, and Buddhism takes building nine-story pagodas as its greatest merit. Wei is all around, if it is interpreted as majesty, it can be; If interpreted as aggressive, it is not appropriate. The bottom line seems to be on the top line, too handy and lacking in connotation. Slightly changed according to the original intention for reference:

Nine-level floating map, a sea of people;

A bend in the west reflects seven stars.

The first part is about the merits and demerits of building the tower, and the second part is about the scenery and cultural connotation around the tower.

Qixing can be referred to as Qixingyan for short, and can be extended to Duanzhou. The old couplets of Chongxi Tower also have the word "seven stars". Bend, bend, bend water, and write the charm of western water. Reflecting the Seven Stars means that the West Water can reflect the Chongxi Tower (the old gate has the word seven stars), Duanzhou scenery and the seven stars in the sky.

12.

Stand at the end of the city and start the literary movement;

Mercedes-Benz is outstanding.

Comments:

This couplet should be read with a new rhyme. In addition, Qi used the pattern of "carp turning over", and the word "Qi" was flush with the word "Wen". The All-China Federation can play, but the meaning of Qi Hesheng is too close, which makes the All-China Federation lack of artistic conception.

13.

Longteng troubled times, the west water is peaceful and blessed;

Talented people gather together, Duanzhou is prosperous and has a long civilization.

Comments:

The first part is about building a tower to save the dragon, and the second part is about building a tower to gather gas and bring forth talents. The cut-in angles of the upper and lower couplets are different, but they all write about the function and merits of building towers. Nice layout. But the sentence pattern of Sanqi is not easy to write, like a sharp couplet. It is safer to write seven or four or seven sentences. According to the unique elements of the Jubilee Pagoda, we can make the following modifications:

The town is a disaster for the people, and a tower is beautiful in the west;

Born to gather gas, seven stars can shine on the spring city.

14.

Three worlds and four directions worship Beidou,

Nine-story octagon celebrates the southern sky.

(new rhyme)

Comments:

This couplet is for today's use, and the original couplet of Chongxi Tower is used. The use of multi-word description also makes the conjunctions have artistic effects and add highlights. But when read together, it is steady, superficial and lacks depth and connotation.

15.

A tower town, Longteng, has a hundred years of rain or shine;

Three rivers gain land, and four fields are new.

Note: Sanjiang refers to Xijiang, Nanjiang and Beijiang in Zhaoqing.

Comments:

The antithesis of this couplet is neat and the four numerals are skillfully used, which enhances the artistic effect of the couplet. Look at the all-China Federation. The first part is about the dragon in Jianta Town, and the second part is about the outstanding people and new features here. Nice layout. However, I personally feel that it is not easy to write in the form of five sentences, and it is easy to write in the form of five poems. It might be better to change it to four or five sentences.

A tower descends the dragon, and the wind and rain are smooth for a hundred years;

Blessed by three rivers, new by four fields.

The word "fu" here can be used as a verb to make ... blessed or bless something.

16.

Good worship, blessing Duanzhou Buddha nature;

Yinmin ancient pagoda, a disaster near Zhenjiang levee.

Comments:

In this work, the meaning of building a tower is written. The first and second parts wrote that the tower was built to promote the Buddha's nature, curb the dragons in the river and ensure the safety of one party. Nice layout. However, when reading the All-China Federation, you can directly write what you want to say in words, and the writing is straightforward. Couplets are too shallow and lack artistic expression and connotation. In fact, we can express our feelings with the help of scene language, which is more subtle than preaching.

17.

A pillar of heaven, supporting the tower foundation with lux;

Eight eaves preach, preach Brahma and borrow wind chimes.

Comments:

The first part of this work is about the structure and appearance of the tower, and the second part is about the sound of wind chimes at the eaves, which captures the characteristics of the tower. The overall layout is good. All the links read smoothly. As far as opposites are concerned, we strive to be correct. The combination of Taki and Brahma, Brahma, is usually used as an adjective. If it is interpreted as Buddha's music, then it is ok to fight. As a general couplet, it is not bad, but as a local landscape couplet, it lacks depth and connotation. In particular, the phrase "supporting the tower foundation with strength" is not high in artistic conception.

18.

Longxiu Pagoda in Yunwen Town, Chongzhong;

The riverbank was flooded to congratulate the bumper harvest.

Comments:

Embedding characters on the top of a crane is a common artistic technique in landscape couplets. . If it is embedded naturally, the couplets will have color; But if it is embedded stiffly, it will feel awkward. The co-heads of Top priority and Hosey think that the words are pieced together to embed characters, and the effect is not satisfactory. In addition, don't write directly in words about the significance and merits of building a tower. Good association has connotation, which is realized through scenery or couplets. Direct presentation is artistic and tasteless to read.

19.

Looking up to the distance, Fang Dengyao Pavilion listened to fairy tales.

Overlooking the river, the literary talent is more beautiful.

Comments:

Tian Yun and Yaoge in the first part of the League refer to heaven, and the words are repeated. By the river, Bibo is also repeated, or the meaning is too close. The upper part climbs the tower and the lower part overlooks the river. The layout is very good. In order to reduce the repetition of one or two sentences, it is suggested to change them into seven sentences, which are more refined:

Want to go to Yaoting to listen to fairy tales;

A more literary style rejuvenates the ancient city.

20.

Look at the dragon disaster in Qixing Town, the polar region, in the worship of the West River;

Xi inherited the wind of the Tang and Song Dynasties, and the crown surpassed the three towers to gather talents.

Comments:

It is a common artistic technique to write landscape couplets and embed the names of scenery in them with cranes. If it is embedded naturally, the couplets will have color; But if it is embedded stiffly, it will feel awkward. At the beginning of this couplet, "reunion" and "Xi Cheng", I think I am trying to make words for embedding words. In terms of confrontation, Xijiang and Tang and Song Dynasties; Because of the different part-of-speech structures between Heaven and Earth and Duanfu, the confrontation between "dragon disaster" and "talent" is not enough. There is another dichotomy that can be considered again. The first half and the second half of the sensory dichotomy are not connected smoothly enough. All links can be further refined.

2 1.

Towering tray halo;

The mighty river attracts zexiang.

Comments:

Towering, already has the meaning of towering, towering, so the word "shrug" is repeated. The vast Liujiang River is not as comfortable as the vast river. In addition, the words Zexiang and Reiki are not very practical, Zexiang is not clear, and there is no source and explanation on Baidu. According to the original intention, make some changes to sublimate the artistic conception:

The towering tower reflects a new image;

A big river surrounds the ancient city.

22.

Qionglou dangerous museum, relying on Xijiang town, Anguangbo mulberry garden, helps the youth and the world,

Chongta Hongxi, Enchui Zhaoqing, Mushao light and rain dew, condensed the sun, the moon and the spring and autumn.

Comments:

Type 4455, three or four clauses are all quotations, and this sentence is very particular about pulse. Several clauses must be connected smoothly in order to write a good work. Usually a sentence is divided into two parts, and three or four parts are parallel. It would be better if a two-part sentence adopts self-alignment or up-down alignment. The pulse of this work is quite steady. However, the four-word phrase after the three-four clause and the leading word is not neat enough. For example: Sangtian, Yulu, Chunqiu, these are coordinate nouns, combined structure; Moreover, what stands out is that adjectives add nouns, which is partial in structure and not neat in antithesis. The sun, the moon and the green sky are combined side by side, while the broad wave and the little light are biased and do not contradict each other. It is suggested that the author strengthen the handling of antithesis in couplets to improve the quality of his works.