If I attend, I don't want to call him when I get married, but since people call me, it is more in line with the popular principle of dealing with people.
If I don't attend, I will feel very bitter, especially in the eyes of our friends, which will make me very unfriendly;
Some people may think, isn't it just about paying money? As for being so entangled?
It's not that simple.
In fact, every choice in our daily life will involve the problem of value choice, but many times we solve it by "looking at the mood" or listening to other people's opinions. The more random choices, the more confused people will be. The reason is that you only have a value system to judge whether I am unhappy or not, and there is no perfect principle system to deal with people.
The principle of dealing with people, in other words, is what old people often say, "live clearly." Especially in the face of difficulties, other people's views and their own feelings or intuition are often random. If you establish a perfect and effective principle system, you will be more firmly convinced of the correctness of this decision, the "difficulty of choice" will be greatly reduced, and you will live more clearly. Next time you encounter a similar trade-off problem,
Below, I will take the question at the beginning of the article as an example to demonstrate. Through the further deliberation and evolution of the problem, I can get the root of the principle problem, and then deduce the value balance according to the principle. What should I do? This is easy to understand:
"My unfamiliar friend invited me to his wedding. Should I go? "
Value-added deduction:
"A friend who is unfamiliar and doesn't intend to deepen contacts in the future extended me a reciprocal olive branch. Should I accept it, should I pay? "
Analysis principle:
"A person who is willing to make friends with you, do you want to show sincerity and goodwill to him?"
(digression: this friend is a generous person, who will do nothing but accept gifts and has certain economic strength. For the time being, the purpose of inviting me to the wedding is just to make friends with me and contact me more in the future; As for why I don't want to make friends with him, it's because we are really different people and don't want to get along)
After some thinking, I summed up my own principles:
People are willing to be friends with me, and I can't pout; But my own circle of friends is my call.
Therefore, from the point of view of values, I should be decent and generous and express friendliness, but I should also keep my bottom line and don't make a friend I don't want to make against my will.
So I decided not to attend the wedding and pay for it myself.
So, at this point, when I understand the analysis, I feel that all the tangled things are gone and my mood is unusually smooth!
On this matter, my conclusion is that if we want to abide by our own life values, we need principles. When faced with difficulties, following principles can easily solve them.