List all your parents' property, savings and debts and put them in front of her. Tell her that her parents have been worried about themselves all their lives, and now this is all they have. If they spend the old couple's coffin to get married, they really feel sorry for themselves, but after all, this is a once-in-a-lifetime wedding, and they don't want to wronged her, so if she can agree to simplify the simplified part, if not, she will borrow money herself and pay it back later. I can understand how your wife feels. Although marriage is a formality, if she thinks it is important, it is very important. Because people plan to go once in their lives, not twice. Therefore, external objective factors can hardly overwhelm this subjective idea. She always thinks that your parents don't pay, but they are actually in debt. It is better to make it clear that you can only do as much as you have money, and you can't get married and pawn the old couple's pants. You want to live in the future, so you have to borrow it yourself, because you and she are going to get married, and your loan is hers, so she may reduce the cost for this. Of course, if she refuses, you will bite your teeth. Only with a sincere attitude, transparent finance can eliminate misunderstandings and restrain the psychological expansion brought about by this ceremony. As for kowtowing at the wedding, what your parents-in-law think shall prevail. If you can't complete the hardware requirements of the wedding, even the software requirements, and you can't make people earn enough face, how can you make people psychologically balanced? This is a completely balanced relationship. Don't think about your parents and her parents. Whoever does less will give up a piece, and whoever does more will make up a piece. Giving and making up is not entirely a matter of money. As long as everyone is psychologically balanced, this is the fundamental solution to the problem.