As the saying goes, "Men should marry when they are older, and women should marry when they are older", but in the old society, men and women were not allowed to marry independently. Wutai custom says that a son marries as a daughter-in-law and a daughter marries as an orphan. First of all, men and women need to be suitable for each other. Some of them have never met before marriage, and they are all introduced by matchmakers and promised by their parents. According to Wutai County Records, a wedding generally has six links, namely betrothal, drawing lots, meeting relatives, giving gifts, getting married and returning to the door. No matter which link, you must choose an auspicious day.
Later, due to the progress, the important link of blind date was gradually increased, that is, the matchmaker (introducer) introduced the family background of both parties first, and if the conditions of both parties were equal, they could be blind date, and the introducer led the men and women to meet and see each other's appearance and figure. If you like each other and are satisfied with the family background and housing, you can change the lease. Birthday, parents and children of both sides, see if the big wedding and the small wedding are compatible. Folklore has the following sayings: the mouse matches the cow generation, the jade rabbit and the golden dog rise from the tall building, the cock crows and the dragonfly crows, the horse and sheep are full of oil, the white tiger and black pig are waiting to be married, and the snake and monkey match the world for a long time. There are also white horses afraid of Taurus, rats and sheep can't reach their heads, snakes see tigers like knives, rats see sheep for a thousand years, rabbits don't see dragons for a long time and so on. It depends on whether the two children belong to Fan Chong, and they can get engaged when they meet.
Nacai: commonly known as salute, that is, the man brings a bride price to the woman's house. There are cash, ocean (formerly silverware), dressing boxes, four-color gifts and so on. Not many people use these things now, but they used to be very particular. For example, these four-color gifts need to be divided into two parts to get the meaning of double pairing. There is a mirror, which means that the husband and wife are spotless; A pair of combs means a comfortable and smooth marriage; Two packs of needles suggest purity; There are two red thimbles, meaning a thousand miles of marriage. There are also two pieces of red and blue cloth, which symbolize the blue sky and red land and are a metaphor for joy. These used to be married, but things were divided according to the rich and the poor. At that time, the woman's parents need to invite immediate family members to hold a banquet to entertain the new son-in-law. After the ceremony, the woman's family should also prepare a gift: two small packets of salty salt wrapped in red paper, intended to be predestined friends; Pack two small bags of yard soil, which means that two people can take soil and water, and there is no disaster; Wrap two small bags of black charcoal, which means that the young couple will prosper in the future; I also brought two boxes of matches, meaning that the couple are passionate and love each other forever. There is also a pair of trousers and two red belts, which are considered as "long-lived trousers" given by the woman to the man. I hope they will grow old together.
Delivery day: Also known as delivery day, it is usually held on the day when the salute is fired. The man chooses the wedding date and sends it to the woman, which is commonly known as the delivery date. Both parties prepare their own wedding matters, hold a wedding banquet, and inform relatives and friends to go.
When both men and women reach the locally recognized age for marriage, both men and women will negotiate the date of marriage. That is, the next day, before the next day, I saw my husband separately, and the month varied according to the genus. The matchmaker will go to the homes of both parties to coordinate and unify the marriage. Generally, the man will let his husband choose the date first, that is, the month. But this auspicious day depends on the woman's zodiac. For this reason, there is also a "song of the moon": chicken and rabbits match in July, tigers and monkeys turn white in February and August, pigs and snakes are suitable in March and September, dragons and dogs are good in April, cattle and sheep match in May, and horses and mice make love in June and December. If you can't go to the moon, you won't have trouble catching up with the chaos. Li Yue is good-looking, but which day must be calculated according to the woman's four pillars and eight characters and the Zhou and Tang charts. Anyway, whoever wants to do it is lucky, otherwise there will be evil spirits in the way, which is not good for the woman. Generally speaking, most favorable months are after autumn and before sowing in February and March. Why choose these months? Because in ancient times, people had nothing to do in these months, and they didn't have to work hard, and the food at the banquet was not afraid of bad. Generally, three days are chosen, one for the host and two for the host, and the introducer informs the female family with a gift. It is usually the date when the woman's family agrees with the man's family. However, a careful woman has to let her husband see the right day and see if there are any "taboos". Both parties prepare their own wedding matters, hold a wedding banquet, and inform relatives and friends to attend the banquet. For those who are in a hurry to get married, in Wutai area, after the 23rd of the twelfth lunar month, it is called "getting rid of chaos". No matter what the zodiac is, they can get married any day in the near future. However, most people don't want to catch up with this chaotic year. Although it is said that the 23rd day of the twelfth lunar month is in Wanforgiveness, there is no good auspicious day, and the Chinese New Year is coming soon. People are still busy preparing for their own Chinese New Year, so it's too hasty.
At this point, we don't have to be shy about the Xu family, because Xu Jishe, the fifteenth ancestor of the Xu family, was given a half-pair of armor by the Emperor Tongzhi of the Qing Dynasty. The armor is generally a royal ceremonial, so it is reasonable to allow him to travel and avoid him. After Xu Jishe's death, this pair of armor became the honor of the family. Every time I get married, I borrow a messy house to clear the way. One is to warn the gods to avoid it and never show their identity again.
After the date was set, both men and women began to prepare for the wedding. For example, women sew wedding bedding. The custom in my hometown should be "perfect" (a woman with parents, husbands and children) sewing, which means "perfect". Besides, you should wash your hands and wipe your face before sewing, pay attention to the new faces of novices, and take care of the meals at noon. The most important thing is to tell jokes in the middle of sewing bedding. The more you talk, the better your relationship will be. It is said that some people quarreled and divorced within a few days after marriage, just because the people who sewed bedding didn't tell stories at this time.
The men went out to buy good yellow rice for banquets and prepare cakes. If you are not busy at night, discuss the invitation to invite people to eat cake and how many seats are budgeted. One thing to report is my uncle's house, which is the most important of all relatives (my uncle is the host of my daughter's grandson) and has the heaviest etiquette. And the groom must go in person, and you can't do anything else on the way. Be sure to go there specially, and kowtow when you go. Then menstruation's and menstruation's. Cousins are also exquisite. My mother's family is the first cousin, my aunt's family is the second cousin, and my aunt's family is behind my aunt's. Especially when I sit down, the order and position must not be reversed!
Visiting relatives: In order to entertain his new wife, the man invited relatives and friends, held a banquet, invited his new wife and sister-in-law to the man's house to see the house and meet relatives. At that time, the relatives of the man will pay homage to the new wife.
Marriage: There are many wedding ceremonies in rural areas, usually three days. However, there are many things to do, and preparations must be started seven or eight days in advance. Because in the old society, banquets were all cooked in their own yards, all food and drink had to be prepared in advance, and a big stove had to be set up in the yard to stew in advance. Neighbors, family, father and son, and sister-in-law will all come to help. You should borrow all the utensils for your desk and my plate. When everything is ready, we should start preparing to eat and drink, make tofu, steam steamed bread and simmer. Of course, the "employee list" will be posted in advance, and managers who know etiquette and knowledge will be selected, and various tasks will be clearly assigned: general manager, bookkeeping, master of ceremonies, custody, setting the table, making cakes, cooking, carrying water, boiling water and so on.
One day, commonly known as playing drums. Festive couplets are posted at the gate, lanterns are hung in the yard, and relatives and friends get together to decorate stick grilles's new house. The kitchen also began to get busy. Experts selected from the sisters-in-law in advance all went to the kitchen to help cut vegetables, and the cake master began to steam cakes. Cakes are usually made at noon, so you should set off a few firecrackers at this time, which means that you will be promoted step by step. Wutai has a saying since ancient times: "Don't choose buns in Dongye, cakes in Daxing and maids in Huaiyin." So five sets of cakes are generally made of yellow wheat, which is in the north of Dongye and the south of Dongye. Commonly known as "rhubarb rice cake", the rice ground with soft millet is called Dahuangmi, and the rice ground with soft millet is called Huangxiaomi. Flour ground from Huang Xiao rice can also be made into cakes, but it tastes hard and hard to bite, sticky, and will break when pulled; The ground of rhubarb rice is made into soft gluten of cakes, which is tensile and elastic. Therefore, five people scold those who are not proficient in etiquette as little yellow rice cakes and refined (tendons); Praise a good woman as rhubarb rice cake. The frost-free period in Daxing area is long, the soil and water are good, and the surface of millet is sticky. Steaming, coloring and frying the milled peeled millet flour in a cage. But these five cakes are different from other places. After five cakes were fried with sugar in an oil pan, a cake maker put the cakes in a "Lei Ben" (an urn), then covered them, put them in the "pan head" (the hottest place on the fire resistance), and wrapped them with a "cover" (quilt), and took them out layer by layer when eating. Because "cake" and "high" are homophonic, eating cake means rising step by step. In fact, the cake now is not as fragrant as the steamed cake. The fried cake is steamed before eating, which increases the viscosity and dips in some sugar. It tastes strange (that kind) sweet and soft. That's quite right, but I don't know how difficult it is until I actually do it. There is a saying: cakes are not delicious, all by speculation. Making cakes is the hardest thing at the party. Cooking cakes in my hometown is usually done in a courtyard with a room. The place is small and there are many people. Sitting down to watch the fire is also suffocating. The cake maker wipes the dough first, and then sprinkles the dough layer by layer when the pot is boiling. Once the cake surface is steamed, the cake maker will risk being scalded and divide the steamed yellow rice cake into several pieces under steam. Of course, before tamping, they have to soak their hands in cold water, and then pound them out of the cage one by one and put them on the chopping board. Here, the chef in charge of making cakes has poured cold water on the cake box in advance to prevent it from sticking, and then quickly rolled the cake into a piece and then a pillow, which was quickly given to the next person, one of whom took the lump that had just been pounded out of the pot and went on working. The second man picked up the cake, hit it hard, then rolled it up and hit it hard on the next man. Repeat this until the cake is full of bones and muscles and does not stick to hands, then oil it and put it in Requeli. Then a cake maker rubs and pokes the stuffed cake to arm thickness, then drags it into cake pieces of the same size by hand, and then a cake maker comes over and paints these cake pieces with pre-made sugar color. The temperature of the oil pan with sesame oil over there has just risen. With the sound of "hissing", one of the cakes is put into the pot, and the familiar taste will float out.
Half an afternoon, the five "loud" octaves arranged in advance came to play. Generally, a wedding is a "big fight", that is, songs to return to the DPRK after victory, crossing the street, taking orders, playing with dolls on the twelfth floor and so on. , which is the best song. At the age of eating the "Perfect Man" set meal in the evening, jiaozi adds one day to another.
The next day is the wedding: Wutai customs generally give a piece of "milk cloth" and a knife "keep the mother's meat" before the wedding (now it is also given the day before). There are not many specifications, depending on the rich and the poor. In the past, the groom was proud of going to the woman's house to get married, but now he has changed to a car. The people who go with him are all married, accompanied by relatives, or four people, called married couples. Or two people, called single marriage partners. Usually an uncle or brother gets married, and the partner is a brother-in-law. Another shooter is usually a younger brother or nephew. When a woman marries a woman, the bride should get up early to eat the candy prepared by her mother, which symbolizes the sweetness of married life. Then "Wanren" and "Wanren" are invited to comb the bride's hair and play with her, which is called "shaving" or "opening face", marking the end of girlhood. When the groom comes to get married, the bride's family will hold a banquet and choose a close child (usually a sister or niece) to arrange flowers for the groom and wear red and green ribbons. When getting married, the bride's mother lights a lamp and takes a rag to clean her daughter's sedan chair. Now it's electricity, which means the daughter's bright road. In addition, there are big relatives who bid farewell to relatives (usually uncles and aunts or brothers and sisters). When a man marries a daughter-in-law, he will first arrange to send the bride's male elders to relatives and friends for rest and tea. Before the banquet begins, the male elder who marries the bride by the man will welcome the male elder of the bride to the banquet in the music of the band. ) to my husband's house, my sister can't. Since ancient times, there has been a saying that "if an aunt doesn't marry, she won't give it away, her sister will give her life, and her aunt will give her a golden hole". Finally, choose one (usually a younger brother or nephew) to send a dowry and follow the bride to the man's house, commonly known as "carrying a suitcase." The wedding team will get off the sedan chair when they return to their in-laws' home. At this time, the groom's friends will let the bride lie on the groom's back or upstairs, walk three times at a time and come back with a smile. At the gate, the bride will cross the saddle (later big stool) placed in the middle of the door in advance and cross the brazier. All these imply that the bride and groom are inconsiderate, and no matter what is in front of them, they will respond with goodwill and * * *. After the bride married her in-laws, her aunt or sister-in-law who saw her off followed her to the new house. The old custom is to drink brown sugar water first, indicating that the days will be sweet in the future; Drinking bean noodle soup again means kindness and longevity. Five people pay attention to drinking bean noodles instead of eating them, and they drink vegetarian food. When fishing for bean noodles, they first scoop half a bowl of original soup in the bowl, then scoop up a chopstick to put the bean noodles in the bowl, then pour the prepared noodle soup on the noodles, and finally pick a noodle with chopsticks. Everything is more exquisite. When drinking noodles, while eating noodles and drinking soup, the whole room is fragrant (noodle soup is sesame oil, pepper, chopped green onion,
Insert mango, vinegar, salt, coriander and stock. Then I switched to noodle soup.
Next, we called for seizing money, and prepared a wooden pallet in advance, in which all kinds of money of different sizes were put. The bride can only catch it three times, and how much is the bride's. The more she catches, the richer she will be in the future. Come down, we will have a wedding, pay homage to our elders and relatives, and then send them to the bridal chamber. Then we began to welcome big relatives, relatives and friends to dinner. There are many places to pay attention to when you sit in the right place, especially when the door seat is unsafe, which can be divided into guests and guests. I dare not make mistakes. Relatives, grandfathers, uncles and other officials are generally in the middle of the yard, and other accompanying seats sit on both sides according to seniority and age. There are bride, grandmother, grandmother, scorpion, aunt, aunt and other women in the new house. She also sits according to seniority and age. During the period, music is played and the seat is plucked. Harmonica, erhu and suona are played together, and relatives and friends all eat and watch the play, and each seat is happy. A banquet for five people, usually in poor families, is a four-dish, one-sea bowl, commonly known as a "five-cake" banquet, that is, two cold dishes (lotus root and kelp), two hot dishes (tofu and yam) and a big bowl of braised dishes. Five sets of baked tofu yam are generally made of sugar, degreasing at high temperature and stewing for a long time. The chowder is mainly fried tofu (shredded) and vermicelli, supplemented by bean sprouts, bean sprouts and day lily. Generally speaking, there are four dishes and five dishes in the middle school, commonly known as "nine-piece" seats, that is, a bowl of baked yam, tofu, stewed meatballs and stewed vegetables. , and four cold dishes. There are also six plates and six bowls, commonly known as "six or six seats"; Eight plates and eight bowls, commonly known as "eight or eight seats". There are also "66 seats" plus chicken and fish, which are called "66 dragon and phoenix seats"; "88 seats" plus chicken and fish, commonly known as "88 dragon and phoenix seats." No matter what kind of seats, they used to be vegetarian seats, and only people with some money put some barbecue on them. Since the 1980s, living standards have gradually improved, and most of them have been changed into meat mats. It is not surprising that chickens, fish, ducks and sea cucumbers are all used. As the saying goes, "there are three doors for big and small banquets". The first door is relatives and friends, the second door is family and father, and the third door is kitchen, waiter, handyman and family. After eating three seats, it was basically dark. At night, young people make trouble in the bridal chamber, want to like candy and adjust their mouths. They are full of tricks and are very happy. There is a custom of "no size for three days". Anyone can participate except my father-in-law and uncle, but they are usually unmarried descendants.
On the third day, in the old society, the bride and groom had to pay tribute to their families, pay homage to their ancestral graves and invite people to express their gratitude. People often say that there are many mistakes in doing things. Kissing is about kissing, etiquette is not nonsense; Those who don't kiss are polite words, so be sure to be polite! In particular, family business banquets often make mistakes. Either one person is wrong, or the other person is ignored, or there is a saying in etiquette. It's actually a minor dispute. Therefore, on this third day, we should invite all those who have no usual etiquette but need to be invited and thanked to have a meal to show our goodwill. The bride and groom go to the woman's house together, which is also commonly known as going back to her mother's house. The genius of the hostess's family is a positive day. Relatives and friends from all over the country have come and come back after the banquet, so they can't stay overnight.
Mothering: The bride and groom have lived in the bridal chamber for ten days after their marriage, commonly known as "living". After ten days, my in-laws called my daughter back to her parents' home, and then she could spend the night at her parents' home. After the mothering, the work of the matchmaker came to an end, and the man wanted to give the matchmaker a gift to express his gratitude. It used to be 50 buns and 50 cakes, but now it has become other practical ones.
At this point, the wedding is over. Whether the wedding ceremony is ostentatious or not depends on the rich and the poor. Families are proud of luxury, and poor families strive for frugality. Marry tools, the old rich people sit in sedan chairs, and the poor people sit in donkeys. Newcomers and qualified people take cars, while ordinary people ride bicycles or walk.
In ancient and poor families, those who have child brides will have a little sexual intercourse when they grow up and choose a lucky date to live together. It is also difficult to remarry. Noble women should keep a holiday for their husbands until the end. Ordinary people, who have no life, have to remarry. However, the etiquette is simple. At that time, the man's family would send people to get married, and generally would not give a big banquet to entertain guests and friends. After the promulgation of the Marriage Law, remarriage, like marriage, can be completely independent, but the property of left-behind children needs to be properly handled. In the old society, the poor could not marry a daughter-in-law for life, but often married after death, which has been passed down to this day. Later, the wedding etiquette became simpler and simpler. There are more and more free lovers between men and women. Even fewer parents get married. When a man and a woman get engaged, they get a marriage certificate. Many young men and women are willing to travel and get married, which is an eye-opener in combination with tourism.
The above is related to the 12 lunar calendar, and it is about the sharing of marriage. I hope this will be helpful for everyone to read the formula of "benefiting the moon and benefiting the moon"!