Mother-in-law is not a mother, and daughter-in-law is not a daughter. This boundary must be clarified. This affinity is determined by social relations, not blood relations. Remember that this relationship is not a mother-in-law relationship, but a tendency of China people to turn some social relationships into family relationships and human relationships. From a human point of view, you and I are sticky, and as a result, we parted ways after a dispute of interests. This is the truth of mother-in-law. That is, I don't want to be filial to you like my mother, but I hope you treat me as your own mother. I don't want to be so careless with my daughter, but I hope you have unrealistic expectations like my daughter.
Therefore, a mother-in-law should treat her daughter-in-law like a teacher, but it is not her own child after all. Daughter-in-law should respect and even maintain this relationship like a leader to her mother-in-law, but she must have a sense of distance in her heart and understand the basic laws of brokerage society. Family is the smallest economic unit in society. Don't think that parents don't ask their children for anything in return. If their parents work hard in front of their children, and your marriage is sponsored by their parents, then they will inevitably interfere in your life. They have a certain so-called short hand and short mouth. You can't expect to spend the old couple's life savings to let them go wherever they like. This is also immoral.
Therefore, lowering expectations and economic independence are the best ways to solve contradictions.
2. How do parents get along with their children after marriage?
1. Your son quarrels with his daughter-in-law, so you must not go in to stop the fight. It's no big deal for couples to quarrel. At the same time, in order not to leave a terrible psychological shadow when parents and grandchildren quarrel, you can take your grandson out, or go shopping with him, or buy him something to eat and play, and then take him back when you estimate that your son and daughter-in-law are exhausted or it is time to turn off the fire. When a son and daughter-in-law quarrel without an audience, naturally there will be no high interest in fighting a protracted war; Secondly, the quarrel between husband and wife is originally a quarrel at the end of the bed. If you persuade, you will get burned; Third, take your grandson out for a walk, you can be quiet, out of sight, out of mind. 2. If your son and daughter-in-law come back to your house for dinner, no matter how busy you are, don't complain if your daughter-in-law doesn't take the initiative to help you, and don't criticize her for being lazy, otherwise there will be fewer and fewer people coming later. At the same time, you must remember, don't instruct your husband to help you with your work in front of your daughter-in-law, don't instruct his husband to help you pick vegetables and wash dishes, and don't instruct his husband to help you prepare meals. Especially in front of your daughter-in-law, you must never tell your husband what to do, let alone insult and belittle your husband at will, because parents are the best teaching materials, and your daughter-in-law will definitely copy what you have done to your precious son. If your son quarrels with his daughter-in-law, you can't avoid it. You'd better take the simplest, most direct and most effective method, that is, severely criticize your child. You don't care if your children are right or if your daughter-in-law is right. There is no absolute right or wrong in quarreling between husband and wife. You just need to take a clear-cut stand to help your daughter-in-law, as long as you can make her calm down first.
You should feel very happy if your daughter-in-law is willing to let you take care of their children. Generally speaking, if your daughter-in-law is in trouble, she will always ask her mother for help. She will never ask you for help unless she has to. Therefore, in this case, you should be duty-bound to help your daughter-in-law solve practical difficulties, and don't make excuses to refuse, so as not to cause a lifelong gap between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Of course, if your daughter-in-law doesn't want you to take care of their children at all, or she doesn't think it's necessary to worry about your fatigue, then you don't need to volunteer to avoid a thankless and disharmonious ending. Never criticize your son in front of your daughter-in-law, especially how lazy he is at home, lacking due diligence, the necessary sense of responsibility, filial piety, self-motivation, mutual humility, and his insecurity will make his daughter-in-law unhappy. You know, your daughter-in-law will marry your son just because she thinks he is good. Therefore, although you criticize your son, your daughter-in-law will think that you are talking nonsense, which will create a psychological gap between your daughter-in-law and you that will never be eliminated. 6. Never interfere with the consumption concept of your son and daughter-in-law. You know, they spend their own money, and they are also accumulating and cultivating their feelings through eating, drinking and having fun. It should be understandable that they enjoy their lives. So, if they occasionally lose control of their plans, you can help them if you have the ability, and keep your mouth shut if you don't have the financial ability. You should let them solve the economic crisis by themselves, and you should let them bear the planning mistakes themselves. Educating children is a never-ending knowledge, but it is extremely profound to make foreign daughter-in-law or son-in-law agree with your ideas and live in harmony with you. Therefore, as an elder, children should not be required by dogmatic traditional concepts, but should always update their concepts and keep pace with the times.
3. What if children are curious about marriage?
In order to help children get through the sensitive period of marriage, we need to do and pay attention to the following points: 1. Clarify the concept of "evil" in our minds. Don't think that when children say the words "marriage" and "love", they feel that they are influenced by their parents or film and television dramas, so they refuse to answer and order them not to say so in the future.
In fact, these are our own ideas. The child is not bad at school, he is just doing something that must be experienced in his life development.
Only by getting rid of these ideas in your mind can you correctly treat "love" and "marriage" in your child's eyes. 2. The benefits of seeing a girl and a different person * * * Any ability is not born, but is constantly acquired in the process of life development, and so is the ability to fall in love.
We can imagine that a person who can't get along with others has limited communication skills and will certainly not have the ability to get along with the opposite sex in the future. Facts have proved that many people, at a certain age, will be kept out of love because they don't know the skills of walking with the opposite side.
The sensitive period of marriage is coming, and girls like to associate with boys. We should support the children's performance. When a girl says she wants to marry a boy, we can say to her, "Son, you have a good eye.
That boy is very polite! You can make friends with him. "In short, whether a girl likes boys or girls, it is good for her to learn communication skills, thus laying the foundation for communication with others.
4. How do parents get along with their children after marriage?
However, children can't control themselves when they are older. Some children don't want to find a partner when they are older. Although they have been in love for many years, they just don't want to get married. Although I have been married for many years, I have been in the running-in period, which makes my parents really worried.
In fact, as parents, you must not treat your children with habitual thinking. There is no need to worry about their children's future day and night. Children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, and sometimes you will help. So teaching you some effective methods can avoid the disharmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and also impress your daughter-in-law with her mother-in-law.
1. Your son quarrels with his daughter-in-law, so you must not go in to stop the fight. It's no big deal for couples to quarrel. At the same time, in order not to leave a terrible psychological shadow when parents and grandchildren quarrel, you can take your grandson out, or go shopping with him, or buy him something to eat and play, and then take him back when you estimate that your son and daughter-in-law are exhausted or it is time to turn off the fire.
When a son and daughter-in-law quarrel without an audience, naturally there will be no high interest in fighting a protracted war; Secondly, the quarrel between husband and wife is originally a quarrel at the end of the bed. If you persuade, you will get burned; Third, take your grandson out for a walk, you can be quiet, out of sight, out of mind. 2. If your son and daughter-in-law come back to your house for dinner, no matter how busy you are, don't complain if your daughter-in-law doesn't take the initiative to help you, and don't criticize her for being lazy, otherwise there will be fewer and fewer people coming later.
At the same time, you must remember, don't instruct your husband to help you with your work in front of your daughter-in-law, don't instruct his husband to help you pick vegetables and wash dishes, and don't instruct his husband to help you prepare meals. Especially in front of your daughter-in-law, you must never tell your husband what to do, let alone insult and belittle your husband at will, because parents are the best teaching materials, and your daughter-in-law will definitely copy what you have done to your precious son. If your son quarrels with his daughter-in-law, you can't avoid it. You'd better take the simplest, most direct and most effective method, that is, severely criticize your child. You don't care if the children are right or if the daughter-in-law is right. There is no absolute right or wrong in quarreling between husband and wife.
You just need to take a clear-cut stand to help your daughter-in-law, as long as you can make her calm down first. At the same time, in this way, you can let your children know the importance of mutual humility between husband and wife, let your daughter-in-law feel that she has not been discriminated against or treated unfairly in your family, and let her feel the important position in this family. Perhaps your criticism can make her daughter-in-law feel that she is obviously biased towards herself.
Because no matter how wronged the son is, it will never lead to the separation of their husband and wife. You should be very happy if your daughter-in-law is willing to let you take care of their children. Generally speaking, if your daughter-in-law is in trouble, she will always ask her mother for help. She will never ask you for help unless she has to. Therefore, in this case, you should be duty-bound to help your daughter-in-law solve practical difficulties, and don't make excuses to refuse, so as not to cause a lifelong estrangement between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Of course, if your daughter-in-law doesn't want you to take care of their children at all, or she doesn't think it's necessary to worry about your fatigue, then you don't need to volunteer to avoid a thankless and disharmonious ending. Never criticize your son in front of your daughter-in-law, especially how lazy he is at home, lacking due diligence, necessary sense of responsibility, filial piety to his parents, lack of due ambition, lack of due virtue of mutual humility, lack of hard work in play and study, etc. Will make your daughter-in-law feel unhappy.
You know, your daughter-in-law will marry your son just because she thinks he is good. Therefore, although you criticize your son, your daughter-in-law will think that you are talking nonsense, which will create a psychological gap between your daughter-in-law and you that will never be eliminated. 6. Never interfere with the consumption concept of your son and daughter-in-law. You know, they spend their own money, and they are also accumulating and cultivating feelings. They should enjoy their own lives. So, if they occasionally lose control of their plans, you can help them if you have the ability, and keep your mouth shut if you don't have the financial ability. You let them solve the economic crisis by themselves, and you let them bear the consequences of their own planning mistakes.
Educating children is a never-ending knowledge, but it is extremely profound to make foreign daughter-in-law or son-in-law agree with your ideas and live in harmony with you. Therefore, as an elder, children should not be required by dogmatic traditional concepts, but should always update their concepts and keep pace with the times.
5. What do parents say when their son gets married?
Wedding speech of the groom's father (1);
Ladies and gentlemen, hello!
Today is the wedding day for my son Xiaoming and Ahua. Thank you to all the guests who came from afar to attend my son's wedding. On behalf of my family, I would like to extend my warmest welcome and thanks to the guests!
I am very excited and have a lot to say to my son and daughter-in-law: son, you are very filial, and you have fulfilled your parents' wishes. From this day on, you officially got married and established a new family. I hope that on the long road of life in the future, you will be of one mind, in the same boat, sharing weal and woe, understanding each other, helping each other, respecting each other and caring for each other. You must concentrate on your career and create your perfect future with your own smart and hardworking hands.
Wedding speech of the groom's father (2);
Dear guests, relatives and friends, hello, everyone: this day is a great day for my son and daughter-in-law to get along well for a hundred years and finally get married. On behalf of the whole family, I thank all the relatives and friends present and absent for their sincere wishes.
At the same time, I also want to thank all the parents like us present. It is our hard work for half a lifetime that has brought a happy life to our children and the whole family. Today, we can say that our main task has been completed.
For sons and daughters-in-law, I hope you will be loyal and love each other wholeheartedly and grow old together, no matter how rich or poor you are. Finally, I hope you can focus on your family career and strive for perfection with your own hands in the future.
At the same time, I hope that my son, daughter-in-law and all the children who work hard outside must honor their parents and the elderly and often go home to see them. Thank you again for coming, and I hope you can take good care of it. Thank you!
Wedding speech of the groom's father (3);
Distinguished guests, friends and relatives, colleagues and classmates, ladies and gentlemen: Hello!
On this day, my son Xiao Zhuo and his daughter-in-law Liang Fang held a wedding there. Thank you sincerely for witnessing their new life and sailing! The wedding is warm and grand because of your presence; Newcomers are happy and sweet because of your blessing! On behalf of our whole family, I would like to express my warmest welcome and sincere thanks to all your friends, colleagues and classmates for coming!
First of all, on behalf of both parents, I send my best wishes to the couple: I wish Xiaozhuo Liang Fang happiness! All my life, heart and soul, love each other and grow old together!
Your hand in hand on this day means future responsibility, obligation, trust and loyalty. As a father, I first expect your husband and wife to be tolerant, tolerant and calm. Tolerance of each other's small flaws, tolerance of each other's small temper, calmly deal with small setbacks. Always abide by the purpose of making each other happy is their greatest happiness.
Another point is to be able to cope with the future life: concentric, United and in the same direction. Work wholeheartedly, work wholeheartedly, and have the same goal. Always remember that the warmest and safest harbor is your home.
The third point is to expect you to be loyal, enthusiastic and devout to your work and career. Firm, loyal, persistent enterprising spirit, persistent enthusiasm and enterprising spirit, always with sincere and fiery gratitude, encourage and support each other and work together to achieve continuous success in business!
Finally, I expect you to be kind, generous and loyal when you get along with people and communicate with relatives and friends. Kindness, generosity, loyalty to others and respect for elders. Protect and care for your perfect home.
Finally, I would like to personally thank the host for his dedication and wonderful hosting, as well as all the staff of Daronghe Hotel and Colorful Sunshine Wedding Company. Your thoughtful and good service has brought us comfort, warmth, sweetness and perfection. Thank you again, and thank all the guests present. I wish you good health, smooth work, happy family and happiness! thank you
This is a template from the network, which can be modified for reference.
6. How do you get along with your parents after marriage?
What the landlord said is a bit too arbitrary. Your parents are not hypocritical, but there is no need. They are kind to their son-in-law, for no other reason than to make their son-in-law and daughter live better. This is different from their mother-in-law relationship. My father-in-law is kind to my son-in-law. In order for the son-in-law to be better to his daughter and her daughter to live a happier life, it always seems that there is a little opposition between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Few mother-in-law and daughter-in-law love their son-in-law as much as their father-in-law. When her daughter got married and had children of her own, she was really happy to be a mother. As for what you say sometimes, her mother will hold a grudge, but it's not. Her mother is too sensitive. Sometimes it may be your unintentional words, because he doesn't have that kind of kinship with you. There is a saying that love is deeply responsible, right? I think so, too. That's probably why. Sometimes a mother may feel that her daughter is married and belongs to someone else's family, so she doesn't love herself so much. Especially now, most of them are only children, and their mothers have only one daughter, so they are more worried about being swayed by considerations of gain and loss. I think it should be like this. In fact, I will encounter the same troubles as you. I think I should be considerate of my parents. After all, they love you the most in the world.