Last Love: Ding Furen, the First Wife of Cao Cao.
Cao Cao, a fierce generation, owed a lot of romantic debts in his lewd life, but in fact Cao Cao never forgot his roots. From a modern point of view, he is a good family man. Although he is entangled with countless beautiful women, what he really loves is his wife Ding Furen. The first wife, the so-called first wife, is now called the first wife. About Mrs. Ding, there are not many records in the History of the Three Kingdoms, but it is mentioned in the Biography of Empresses.
Ding Furen is a very beautiful woman. She comes from a family-oriented family. This prostitute who advocates prostitutes is not a prostitute, but a so-called kabuki, that is, a contemporary song and dance troupe actor. Therefore, there is no question about the beauty of Ding Furen. As for Mrs. Ding, it is hard to say whether she is beautiful or not. She comes from a good family, that is, the daughter of a good family, not necessarily the daughter of a rich family, but at least a woman from a middle-class family. However, I think Ding Furen should still be a beauty, because according to Cao Cao's criteria for choosing a spouse, beauty seems to have always been an important indicator, followed by family background. It is not Cao Cao's character to be someone else's son-in-law.
Cao Cao is very kind to Mrs. Ding. I have been married to Mrs. Ding for many years and have no children. The problem lies with Mrs. Ding. If she is a fickle person, then she can use this excuse to divorce her wife and marry another, because "no queen" is in line with the rule of "seven out" (the word "seven out" did not formally appear until after the Tang Dynasty, but its content was completely derived from the "seven walks" recorded in the Great Book of the Han Dynasty, which shows that there were similar customs in the Han Dynasty).
Ding Furen had already seen through this man. When he was young and frivolous, he played with other brides and did not forget to have sex when he was fighting in the battlefield. Even so, I still hang him in my heart. I loved him at first and hated him at the end. I hate him as much as I love him. It was a man's time, and women were only affiliated, and they could only silently bear the chubby flowers around him. For men, the greatest use of women may be to have children. The failure to have children has always been a pain in their hearts. If God can give himself a child, it may make him feel more peaceful and more comfortable with the status quo. Years later, Ding Furen had to give up this extravagant hope and never gave birth to a son and a half, which was the most unqualified place for a wife at that time. From ancient times to the present, once this pass is crossed, the perfection in other aspects is the biggest gap in marriage.
Cao Cao is a prodigal son. He can't expect him to turn back. He can only wait for his exhaustion. Maybe when his temples are gray, he can wait for the couple's dull love. Of course, this is not a simple world for two people. But there is also a spiritual sustenance, that is, trying to enjoy their children, that is, the children born to Cao Cao's concubine Liu-the eldest son Cao Ang and the eldest daughter qinghe princess. Liu's life was short when her children were very young, so she died of illness. On her deathbed, she entrusted all her children to Ding Furen and asked Tang Huo to legally adopt her own children. This is undoubtedly a proposal that can kill two birds with one stone. Children can be taken good care of and get a better name. Ding Furen can also find an outlet for her maternal love.
I agreed to Liu's request and took Liu's children as my own and raised them carefully. Cao Ang, the eldest son, became her greatest hope. Cao Ang is both civil and military. /kloc-at the age of 0/9, he was promoted to filial piety and became a famous young general on the battlefield. Cao Ang, a jealous genius, died in a disorderly army, and his death was also related to his father's affair.
At the beginning of the second year of Jian 'an (A.D. 197), Cao Cao led an army to attack Nanyang Zhang Xiu, and Zhang Xiu was forced to surrender. This was originally a victory to expand the results. Unexpectedly, Cao Cao was caught in the beautiful scenery of spring and lost the city. It turned out that Cao Cao took a fancy to Zhang Xiu's widowed aunt, which, in Zhang Xiu's view, was undoubtedly unbearable humiliation. In a rage, Zhang Xiu led Kibaki to attack Zhong Jun camp at night, but Cao Cao's unsuspecting army was caught off guard and had to retreat to Wulin. The price of Cao Cao's short romantic life is the murder of his nephew Cao, the death of Dian Wei and the death of his eldest son Cao Ang. Cao Cao was wounded by an arrow, but thanks to his mount "Ghost", he was out of danger. The "Ghost" was shot by three arrows, and it still went like lightning. Finally, he fell down because he was shot in the eye by a stream vector, and this horse was given to his father by Cao Ang at a critical moment. The following year, Cao Cao attacked Zhang Xiu again and won a great victory. After that, Zhang Xiu led his troops to mutiny. At that time, Cao Cao and Yuan Shao were at loggerheads and prepared to attack Guandu. In order to save military forces, Cao Cao put aside the past, named Zhang Xiu General Yang Wu, and married his aunt as his concubine.
Cao Cao finally touched the emotional bottom line of Ding Furen. She could tolerate her husband's affair, but the death of her adopted son became the last straw to crush her hunchback. All the pent-up resentment in her heart broke out at this time: "You killed my son Cao Ang without any regret."
Cao Cao never dreamed that his lewd habit almost killed him! Although Cao Cao is not dead, Cao Ang is really dead, and Dian Wei is really dead. They did not have the problem of lewdness, but they died because of the lewdness of their father and boss. Ding Furen can forgive Cao Cao's lust, but he can't forgive him for killing his son because of lust. From then on, Ding Furen looked at Cao Cao coldly, and Cao Cao felt sorry for himself, but he also endured it in every way. I hope time can heal everything. But time has proved that Cao Cao has no chance to save his lover's heart. The contradiction between Ding Furen and Cao Cao was completely intensified on the eve of the battle of Guandu. At that time, Cao Cao faced an enemy like Yuan Shao, and for political reasons, he accepted the surrender of Zhang Xiu, the enemy who killed his son. Ding Furen couldn't accept it and finally broke with Cao Cao completely. Cao Cao's explanation, whether right or wrong, sounds like a romantic excuse to Mrs. Ding. Cao Cao has always been majestic, and his subordinates and relatives are respectful in front of him. Only Ding Furen dared to accuse him to his face. Although it hurts his face, his inner guilt makes him feel bad. However, what he didn't expect was that his wife's resentment lasted for a long time. When patience reached a certain limit, Cao Cao couldn't help it. On one occasion, in the face of Ding Furen's repeated accusations, Cao Cao was helpless and ordered it to be sent back to her family.
This decision later became a lifelong regret of Cao Cao. If time can go back and everything can be done again, he will definitely choose to continue to endure. Originally, Cao Cao thought that his wife would calm down, and she would come to their senses under the contrast between poor family life and Wang Fu's food and clothing. From the moment Mrs Ding left, I didn't expect her to come back. After the Battle of Guandu, Cao Cao took over Ding Furen, hoping that she would come to their senses. Here, there is a surprisingly detailed description in Wei Lue: Mrs. Fang weaves, outsiders pass on the word "co-production", and Mrs. Wei stays at the same time. When Mao arrived, he caressed his back and said, "Take good care of me!" " Madam doesn't care, and she shouldn't. Mao stood outside and said, "Don't be evil!" So I shouldn't. Taizu said, "Good move." Sui and Jue.
She lives and works in peace and contentment, spinning and weaving, and the messengers sent by Cao Cao to pick her up many times were turned away. A few months later, I drove home to pick up Mrs. Ding. This thing is also very common today. The couple quarreled and the wife ran back to her parents' house. It wasn't the last time that the husband laughed it off, said a few nice words and took his wife back. It is not easy for Cao Cao to do this.
In order to get his wife back, Cao Cao went in person sincerely, and Ding Gu lined up to meet him. Only Ding Furen is still knitting in the back room. Even if everyone is in awe of this man, she can keep a straight face This is her self-restraint and her pride. It is not surprising that Cao Cao didn't see his wife rushing out to meet him. He went to the knitting room alone. Facing Ding Furen who shuttled silently, he put down his self-esteem and gently caressed her back. You should know that this action is very important. This kind of "caressing the back" is an act of love for women by men. What about knitting? ..... Stop knitting and come home with me. Oh, don't be such a bitch. Would you like to come home with me? Shall we go home by car? Ding Furen continued to "click" and "click". Once again, I humbly asked: You're not coming back? If I don't go back, I'll leave. Click click click. Cao Cao went for a walk and came out. When he reached the door, he turned his head again: Stop it. Look back at me and let's go back to the palace together, okay? Click click click. The request didn't respond, but the wife didn't look back and didn't answer, still weaving in her hands. The sound of the shuttle set off the silence in the room, as if to say the old saying "grief is greater than death". Cao Cao stood for a long time. He deeply understands his wife's nature and knows that nothing can be undone.
Alas, .........., it seems that the fate of husband and wife is over. Forget it.
Ding Furen quietly listened to the sigh coming from behind him, quietly listening to the footsteps of Cao Cao wandering.
"Are you determined to break up with me?"
"Are you really ...? "
Repeatedly, Cao Cao finally turned and left, with guilt and disappointment. Ding Furen still looks calm, not heartless. Why didn't she make waves in her heart? However, the emotional injury left a scar that could never be healed. Love is still there, but my heart is dead. Ding Furen confirmed this enduring Yuefu poem with his own determination:
The person I miss is in the far south.
When you leave, you don't know what gift to give me. You can only express your infatuation with that turtle hairpin with pearls.
Show it with jade salt, Wen Jun has his heart.
Pull out impurities and destroy them, destroy them, when the wind blows their ashes.
From now on, don't miss each other again.
Acacia junjue!
I'm determined to break up with you, but I think of the sweetness when we first met, and I'm afraid.
The autumn wind blows the morning wind, and the East will know in an instant.
Back to the palace, Cao Caopa sent a message to Ding Gu, saying that since he could not save Ding Furen's heart, he would let his wife remarry others. This disguised divorce compromise ended the relationship between husband and wife, because Cao Cao was already a power phase under one person and above ten thousand people, and the position of the main book could not be suspended. So, Mrs. Bian became a full member and became the main hall.
Ding Furen is not afraid of Cao Cao, but Ding Gu's parents and brothers can't sleep well. They were worried that Cao Cao would take it out on Ding Gu. Instead of attacking Cao Cao, they took care of Ding Furen's family. Comparatively speaking, Mrs. Bian's brother is the object of strict requirements. Border soldiers have been following Cao Cao in the south and fighting in the north, and they have made outstanding achievements. However, in order to put an end to idle people, Cao Cao only named him another Sima, but promoted some people whose military service was not as good as that of border soldiers. In this regard, the Queen Bian, who has always been low-key, finally has some dissatisfaction.
Cao Cao explained that because of the special status of the border soldiers, he could not be given too many official ranks. Mrs. Bian was helpless and asked her husband to give her brother more property. But Cao Cao suggested that Mrs. Bian could help secretly, and never give it publicly. Mrs. Bian is clever, and when this statement comes out, she wants nothing more.
I thought that when Mrs. Bian was still in the wing, I was very disdainful of her. Because of his adopted son Cao Ang, Ding Furen was not enthusiastic about xelloss and others. However, after Mrs. Bian became a full member, she was still respectful to Mrs. Ding. When Cao Cao travels, Mrs. Bian will send people to bring a lot of belongings, and often invite them back to the palace for dinner, leaving the position of the first wife side by side with Cao Cao and abdicating as a concubine.
Looking at Mrs. Bian with low eyebrows, I feel a little guilty. She once said that she was divorced, so Mrs. Bian didn't have to. But all three of them knew clearly that Mrs. Bian's actions were actually to cater to Cao Cao's unspoken wishes. In this respect, Ding Furen was loved by Mrs. Bian, but she was still a stranger to Cao Cao.
A few years later, the news of Mrs. Ding's death came from the Ding family. At this point, Cao Cao's remorse is hard to see. The considerate Mrs. Bian offered to organize the funeral herself and did everything herself. Cao Cao personally chose the cemetery for him and buried his first wife in the south of Xuchang.
Cao Cao's concubines are like clouds, but her feelings for his wife are very special. She hates his romantic feelings, his fickle feelings and his son's death. She dares to criticize her face to face, and she is fearless of worldly majesty. She proved with her own determination that she is the only woman in the world who can fight alongside Cao Cao.
Later, Cao Pi was made a prince, and the attendants congratulated Queen Bian and asked her to reward everyone. To all people, Queen Bian is flattering, and it is a blessing for her mother to have an heir when she is old. Why should she reward everyone for this? The attendants relayed Queen Bian's words to Cao Cao, and Cao Cao sent his wife two words: I will not change my anger, and I will never stop laughing. In this appreciation, there is recognition and joy for Mrs. Bian, but there is a touch of pain behind it. The true feelings of a son and wife are not mutual respect, but real emotional catharsis.
Time goes by like running water. When Cao Cao's life came to an end, he expressed his feelings that had been hidden in his heart: "I think Ding Furen is the one I can't let go of in my life. I have never been ungrateful to her from beginning to end, but I did something wrong and everything was irreparable, so that my wife broke up with me. If there is a soul after death and there is another world, if I encounter anger, he asks me,' where is my mother? What should I say? "
A lifetime of love and hate, she and he can't let go until they die.
The ribbon knot has not yet formed, and the river tide has leveled off.
There is another interpretation on the Internet, and the author doesn't know who it is:
After all, Cao Cao is a womanizer, and Mrs Ding is so beautiful that he stays at home. After a few days, Cao Cao felt like scratching his heart with nine claws, which was extremely uncomfortable. Cao Cao can't tolerate letting his temper ignore Ding Furen, but he is infatuated with Ding Furen, who is beautiful and has a unique personality. Cao Cao was suffering in this complicated state of mind, and finally his lewd mood prevailed. Finally, Cao Cao couldn't resist the temptation of beauty and condescended to visit Mrs. Ding's family. According to the next calculation, Ding Furen should be in his forties at that time. No matter how beautiful he is, he will not be as beautiful as the young woman in Cao Cao's backyard. If Cao Cao really thinks that Ding Furen is still beautiful, it can only be said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
In fact, Cao Cao never stopped thinking about Mrs. Ding until his death (Ding was already dead). He said, "I have never done anything wrong in my heart." What would I say if my son (that is, Cao Ang) asked' Where is my mother'? "Ancient men, especially politicians, don't express their feelings directly like the protagonists in the current costume romance dramas, which makes people sick. Their expressions are often more euphemistic. It is said that the son asked his mother, but it was actually Cao Cao who missed the Sri Lankan people! Perhaps, Cao Cao is really Mrs. Aiding!