However, some young people are reluctant to go home for many reasons, such as "being asked to work overtime", "wanting to go out for a walk" and "not being able to buy a ticket to go home". Behind these high-sounding reasons, there is a kind of pain of not going home, that is, fear of parents nagging. The content of nagging is nothing more than urging marriage, not urging marriage, and urging marriage to have children.

Some young people say that in their parents' nagging, they feel that their life is extremely gloomy and they have accomplished nothing. Money, money is not earned; Object, object not found. Without money and objects, you lose face in the eyes of your parents.

How dare you go home in this situation? I am bored to death. The relationship between parents and children has become that it is better to miss each other than to meet.

It's just, are parents at fault?

In the hearts of parents, children are the oldest. Children's happiness is what parents are most concerned about. As actor Gao Yalin said, "Parents are a wall between us and death. When your parents are around, you can't see death. If your parents are gone, you will face death. " They have been able to clearly see the footsteps of death, so they are eager to see their children happy in their lifetime.

It is precisely because of this urgent mood that their words and deeds are somewhat extreme in the process of urging their children to find happiness.

A girl said that in order to urge her to find someone, her mother changed the name of their WeChat group again and again. From the beginning of "daughter, it's time to find someone" to "son-in-law", and finally to "when can my daughter find someone?" As soon as she opened the WeChat group, such a spicy-eyed group name surprised the girl.

Some parents asked their children to do arithmetic: "Excuse me, 20 19- 1990=?"

"Dad, I know, it's almost thirty, okay?"

"Ni, what Dad wants is the answer after the answer."

These marriages are still a clean stream in the field of marriage promotion, which is more civilized and elegant.

What's more, it's quite violent to urge marriage, that is, from nagging to quarreling, and even forcing children to go on blind dates. Whether it's a ghost or a person, parents will be very happy if they bring one back casually.

This kind of violent marriage promotion often does not solve the happiness of children, but the peace of mind of parents, and also leaves a hidden danger of unstable marriage. Because in the urgency of parents urging marriage, children will panic for no one, almost. If you rush into marriage without a detailed understanding, the road to marriage is doomed to be difficult.

Reader Cui Rui, with Hetian Gefei as the background, left a long story about his hasty blind date, hasty marriage and hasty divorce at the urging of his parents, and now he is in fear of marriage, which is embarrassing to read.

For convenience, let's tell the story of Cui Rui in the first person.

My name is Cui Rui, and I am exactly thirty years old this year. Since I graduated from college at the age of 22, my parents have been urging me to get married. From time to time, the older I get, the more urgent I am. After a hurry, I simply rented a house outside, and I didn't want to go home or answer their calls. It's annoying to hear three words.

But my mother was so amazing that she found my place and kept pressing. No way, I began to accept the blind date arranged by my mother. Until I was 27 years old, my mother said, this is absolutely good, beautiful, easy to use and improved. If you still don't like this, there is no justice.

I went to see him that day, and he was really as good-looking as my mother said. After chatting, we can chat together. In other respects, my parents have already turned it off, and I'm not too worried about understanding it, just him.

I took him home during the Spring Festival that year, and my parents were so happy that they didn't quarrel in my ear for the first year.

After the New Year, parents will rush to get married. Although I feel a little anxious, he seems to be particularly interested in me and very kind to me. He often cooks for me. He looks very caring and sweet.

He once said: It is natural for a man to tolerate a woman's bad temper, because if he is a man, he just wants to pity his own woman. He also said that no matter what my temper is, he will tolerate me and leave me alone.

I have a straight temper and never talk nonsense, probably because my only daughter has always been loved by my parents. He has always been very kind to me. So, when he proposed to me, I accepted.

When it comes to marriage, we disagree about the house. This is the beginning of our argument.

He said he didn't have to buy a house to get married, just rent a house to decorate it.

I don't agree. After all, I still yearn for marriage. Renting a house always gives people the feeling of living together. I suggest buying a house. After working for so many years, I have savings. He works better than me and his salary is higher than mine. You can pay the down payment together, so pay back the loan slowly.

But he strongly disagreed, and said that I was very material, and that feelings were not built on material things, and happiness could not come from a house.

I discussed it with him many times and he insisted that he had no money. I'm about to cry. My parents saw that we were deadlocked and said to pay the down payment.

My parents used their life savings to buy a house for us. Considering his self-esteem, his and my names are written on the real estate license.

After buying the house, we got the license first. Because it's an auction house. Before the wedding, our parents let us live in a small house that was idle at home.

He didn't want to go back to his hometown for the wedding, so our family did it. But I couldn't beat my in-laws, so we went back to his hometown first.

His family is in the countryside, and his parents are farmers. The family is not good, and my husband has gained a firm foothold in the city through his own efforts. So he sends part of his monthly salary home. He can endure hardships and make progress, which is why my parents take a fancy to him. I also applaud his filial piety.

I've heard how powerful Phoenix Man is before, but through my association with him, I always feel that this Phoenix I met is different.

Who knows, Phoenix men are all the same in the world. Can you swear here? No, forget it. Really, I really want to scold him. What I did later was really unbearable.

At his urging, our wedding in her husband's house was very simple. We didn't even have a wedding car, so we used my parents' car as a temporary one. The whole process should be said to be shabby, but I didn't care. It was what he said to his relatives that made me particularly unhappy.

In the eyes of his relatives, he is a very promising person. He settled in the city, bought a big house and married a daughter-in-law in the city. He is a big winner in life.

He also said: "Everything is fine, except that my parents-in-law are too calculating. Originally, I could have bought the house in full, but as a result, her parents had to scramble for money just to add their daughter's name to the real estate license. Forget it, I don't care about them. "

I heard it behind the curtain and trembled with anger. As for me, although my personality is straightforward, I have always been very weak and patient with him, and I have a little steamed stuffed bun personality as everyone said. If I get angry, forget it. You can say whatever you want on the big day.

Actually, I don't know. In the Phoenix man, behind the extreme inferiority is the extreme self-esteem.

Back in the city, life is very calm. Because I played jokes on him several times, and he dumped my face, I found out that he is a person who can't joke, so I have to control my temper. My friends say that I have changed and become cautious.

Although I am an only child, I have only cooked for my parents a few times. But after I got married, I did all the housework at home. Get up at five or six every morning and make breakfast for him. People are still awake, in a daze, but their hearts are full of happiness.

I am a person, as long as others are good to me, I will be good to others wholeheartedly. I've never been anyone's wife, but I'll learn to do it. I take good care of him.

But I still have regrets in my heart. Our wedding is only held at my in-laws' house. My family hasn't done it yet. There are so many relatives and friends at home that there should be an explanation.

So my family decided to have another wedding. But he is too troublesome to do it. I said, as long as you are alone, I'll do the rest.

It's strange that I book a hotel alone and start a wedding company alone. Shouldn't these things be done by a couple happily?

I can only smile awkwardly and say that my husband is too busy to have time. Although I know he is playing games at home.

He flew into a rage when the engagement car arrived. Of course, maybe I spoke straight and hurt his self-esteem.

He means just book a few cars at will, not too expensive. But when my parents got married for the first time, they always wanted to make a splash. Father said, don't worry about him, they will book it.

My husband was very unhappy and said, "Are you kidding? I am a wife. What car should I book? Shouldn't I listen to my opinion? "

I am also a little angry and outspoken: "Didn't you have a wedding there?" Now that my home is driving, I want to use a better car, okay? And I used my car when I was at your house, and I didn't say anything! "

I didn't react until afterwards, how much this sentence hurt his self-esteem. Because this sentence angered him on the spot, he jumped up from the sofa and shouted, "Whatever!" " "Open the door and go, slam the door.

He just left the car reservation. We had another big fight about inviting in-laws and their relatives to the wedding, which directly led to the breakdown of our marriage.

I have arranged for my in-laws to stay in a hotel. We don't have a new house yet. The house we live in now is too small for many people to live in.

But he didn't want to, and he was angry, just like me: "What did you say? You let them stay in a hotel? What do you take my parents for? Even if you rent a house for them, you can't let them stay in a hotel. "

"Then when my parents went to your house, didn't you let them stay in a hotel?"

"That can than? I work and live here now. I have a home. My parents came to stay at home. You let them stay in a hotel. What are you worried about？ If you look down on my family, just say it. There is no need to do such a disgusting thing. "

The more he talks about it, the angrier he gets. He ran to the bedroom to pack his clothes and came out and said to me, "I knew you looked down on my family and thought we were a burden, didn't you?" In this case, the wedding is cancelled and we divorce. "He took the bag and went away.

You can imagine my mood at that time. I'm not so angry with him. If I really look down on his family, how could I agree to marry him and give in to such a degree for him?

The wedding is just around the corner, and I have to clean up my mood to find him, but he doesn't see me. He just repeats on WeChat: Cancel the wedding.

My parents can only sigh and persuade me to forget it. I had to quit the hotel and the wedding company. He just got home.

I thought he had changed his mind and wanted to have a good life with me. If the wedding is not held, it will not be held. I just have regrets.

But he doesn't want to live with me at all. He filed for divorce on the grounds that my family looked down on him and he was depressed.

I really want to cry, my parents are only so kind to him, which is the joy of my mother-in-law to see her son-in-law; And I am willing to marry him, because I like him. Now he says we look down on him. Can you find some other reasons for divorce?

Mother apologized to me and said that she shouldn't rush me into marriage in such a hurry. what can I say? I can only say, "I got married because I like him, too. It's none of your business. "

Things are not over here. Our new house has not been built yet. A week after he asked me for a divorce, he privately hung up a suite in an intermediary company and wanted to sell it.

I certainly can't promise. This is a down payment from my parents. He applied for a loan and wanted to buy this apartment. Now I think he married me for money. It is really simple. How can I stand by and watch him succeed? I'm trying to collect as much evidence as possible, and I can't let my parents' pension money be taken away by him.

He is now in a hurry to divorce me, saying that if he delays for one month, he will have to pay back one more month's loan. If I don't do it right away, he will sue for divorce.

I am not afraid of divorce, and even want to divorce early, but now I am extremely afraid of marriage and have a shadow over it.

The more parents desperately want their children to be happy, the easier it is to lead to the deformation of love. However, marriage is a personal matter, and parents can't get married rashly no matter how anxious they are.

In fact, parents are more and more enlightened now. They want their children to be happy, but not necessarily to get married. It's that they think your ability can't face the difficulties of life alone. They think you need an assistant and partner to withstand the storms in life.

If you are alone, you have enough money, a big house, a good car, a colorful life and the best plan for the rest of your life, your parents will not be in such a hurry to get married.

Therefore, on the day of the Spring Festival reunion, we should talk more, keep emotional ties, and push marriage less, which will hurt harmony; Children should also understand their parents' feelings. After they have a rest at home, they should try to show their parents that they are capable of being themselves.

It is your parents' lifelong wish to live a happy life. Please try to be satisfied.