So, how to make the dialogue smooth?
At this time, we can't help but think of a word: "topic terminator". When you meet the terminator, you will find that you can't talk any more, commonly known as "talking to death."
For example,
-the other party sincerely asks questions, and you sincerely respond, blablabla,
The terminator said, "Thank you!" Or "Thank you! Very rewarding. "
How do you go on? Is he really rewarding or is he being polite?
The correspondent said, "Thank you so much! What you just said ... touched me a lot and made me think ... "or" Thank you! Very rewarding. Really want to listen to you share it again, ... "
Who do you want to talk to? Who do you want to share your problems with next time?
-You ask the other person: "Excuse me, do you have this book there? This professional book is really hard to find! "
Terminator: "No."
Communicator: "No, do you need to write a paper?" That's really anxious. " Or "I didn't. Are you in a hurry? Can I ask a friend to send it to the professional group for you? "
Who do you prefer to talk to? Who do you think is more reliable?
These are some conversations that have happened around me recently, and they have been hung on the wall many times and blocked.
Look, how well our venue is decorated! Stone, you don't need to hire a wedding company for your future wedding. We can arrange it for you!
I don't do it in Beijing.
Honey, how to deal with this situation next time is better?
? I handled it like you said last time.
Terminators are often wronged: I am telling the truth. I didn't mean to hang you up or block you. I was just telling the truth. Shouldn't people tell the truth? Is it wrong to talk about things as they are? Don't say it if you don't want to. Don't you feel hypocritical to think so much?
Yes, the problem lies in "saying things". The terminator focuses on "things" and the communicator focuses on "people". All our communication is with real people, right? Things have no head. When one thing is finished, something new will appear. Therefore, even to solve things, we need to keep in touch with people.
Whether it is "melodramatic" depends on whether there are "people" in your eyes. As we all know, people are emotional animals. When I teach communication courses, there is a jingle that is very popular with students: deal with feelings first, then deal with things. Don't talk if you are in a bad mood, and the conversation will be over.
Therefore, in terms of methods, "human needs" are always just needed. What dialogue terminators need to pay attention to and deliberately practice is to express empathy, curiosity, application details, gratitude, reflection, sincerity and initiative.
Don't tell the truth, serve:
Look, how well our venue is decorated! Stone, you don't need to hire a wedding company for your future wedding. We can arrange it for you!
Wow, that's really something. As capable as you are, the wedding company should have no food! It's a pity that my wedding is not held in Beijing. My parents insist that we go back and do it, or we will definitely not let you go. ...
Honey, how to deal with this situation next time is better?
Oh, there must be something wrong. Let me see ... I said that just now because it was handled according to the last situation, and I asked you for guidance at that time. I thought it would be the same this time It seems that I have to ask you again. ...
Oh, I think the same report as last time will do. Now that you mention it, you suddenly find out whether these aspects have brought inconvenience to everyone.
I'm not saying that these are standard answers, but I want to take this as an example to invite you to practice a "wise heart": in the dialogue example just now, what places reflect "expressing empathy * * * expressing gratitude with curiosity and application details, expressing sincerity with reflection and expressing concern with initiative"?
I worked in the career development center of a well-known business school in China for several years. At that time, students often came back from interviews and said, "Teacher Liu, help me analyze it. Do I still have a chance this time? " "I always say," just tell me, did you have a good conversation with the interviewer or were you interrogated? "Interrogated, basically no chance.
By the way, I have been attending MBA interviews in several universities, and I often regret to see that many candidates seriously ask and answer questions during the interviews. The teacher is also very tired, so I have to keep asking, and I will get one or even half sentence if I ask one sentence. If the teacher is tired of asking questions, he will be annoyed, or think that the students don't ask deeply and communicate shallowly, they may write such comments: the degree of thinking is not deep and the learning ability is limited.
I want to remind "Interview Terminator" that an interview is also a dialogue. How can we regard the interview as a rare exchange opportunity to show our interest in learning and/or job hunting? How to turn the interview into communication?
Once a student asked me, what should I say?
The specific "a few words" depends on the problem itself. What I can suggest is that no matter how many sentences you answer, you must add a "half sentence". That half sentence is to keep the conversation going, that is, to let the interviewer have something to say and find new questions in your answer, or as we just said: express empathy, respond with curiosity, thank you with details, express sincerity with reflection and express concern with initiative.
There is a saying: don't be a "terminator" in communication, but say "a word and a half" when you speak.
The Logo of Le Tai living room is "flowing wisdom @ Le Tai living room". Emotion will help people flow and logistics. This is flowing wisdom. Everyone may inadvertently become a dialogue terminator and let the "flow" linger in our hearts?