First, we should consider practical issues before getting married.
1, love is really a matter for two people, but marriage is a matter for two families. If two families are unequal in strength and have different educational and living environments, it is difficult to grow old together.
If two people don't know each other very well together, they will be at odds with each other, and then there will be a lot of suspicion between them, so the emotional discord will expand indefinitely.
3. Two people have different mentality, so they will see things from different angles. In this case, their horizons will naturally be very different. In this case, there will be constant friction and disputes will be out of control.
4. There are great differences in academic qualifications. In this case, the values of life will be so different that there is no * * * problem of language communication, which is basically a situation in which lovers talk for more than half a sentence.
5, always think that the other party is rushing to pursue themselves, and the feelings that are hard to get don't know how to cherish and maintain, and don't care about each other. They were like this before they got married, and they stopped blowing after they got married.
6. Both parents are unanimously opposed, especially for geographical reasons. In this case, even if the two parties elope, their living habits are different, and family and love are hard to give up. When two people are together, once they have these six manifestations, let's separate as soon as possible. Wrong persistence can only be more wrong and outrageous.
Second, things that must be clear before marriage
1, requirements for marriage (wedding)
Both parents will make some demands when discussing the wedding. Generally, the man's family meets the requirements of the woman's family. For example, where to hold the wedding, what scale of the wedding. What kind of wedding company to invite and what is the budget? Wedding, according to the custom of man or the custom of woman.
For example, if you need to buy a house, who will pay the bill. Whose name should I write? Who will pay for the decoration and whether to buy a car? What level of rings and jewelry to buy. Is there a corresponding dowry, and is there a dowry requirement?
These questions are very realistic, and many unmarried couples finally broke up because these questions were not settled. So if you decide to get married, these issues should be discussed well. It is best not to ask for more than the other party's ability.
2. Premarital property
For the average family, this problem may not be involved. We are all ordinary people and have no property. Everyone tries to hold a wedding for the couple, and then both husband and wife can live.
But some men or women are young and promising, have their own careers, or some lovers are already rich second generation. They may inherit some property from their parents in the future, or they already have some property.
If we consider minimizing contradictions in the future, we can notarize these property conditions. Including, if divorced, how to deal with property. If you think this is too cumbersome and hurtful. Then two people have a good discussion and have a clear concept.
Don't go to the end, the rich side feels cheated by the poor side, and it's too late to regret it.
3. Do you really love each other?
Before you get married, you must understand the relationship between marriage, bread and love. The solid foundation of marriage is bread, and love is the ornament of marriage. Marriage without love can't be perfect, and marriage without bread can't have a foundation.
Love is two-sided. In the process of love, some people who have been hurt often give sympathetic love to people who hurt more than themselves, which makes the other person think that your love is very cheap. Maybe you are willing to pay, but he doesn't know how to cherish it. Therefore, love must be voluntary and sincere.
Marriage needs true love and true love needs to stand the test. Some people often say that men are animals who think with their lower bodies, which is not unreasonable, because men's nature is to reproduce, so some men may be very enthusiastic when they pursue women, and they will be extremely cold after enthusiasm, that is to say, their love is purposeful, and such love is difficult to last.
Third, we must communicate clearly before marriage.
1, goals and pursuits, as the saying goes, no common goals, no common goals, marriage is not child's play. If men and women find that their three views are different after they get together, they will naturally have different attitudes towards many things in life, resulting in unnecessary contradictions and different pursuits for life. If one side only wants to live a simple life and the other side chooses to pursue a higher quality of life, then there will definitely be one of them.
2. Please state your requirements for married life reasonably and appropriately. If you don't say anything and live by guessing each other's psychology, it must be very tired. After all, in the face of the pressure of today's social life, who doesn't want their other half to be a relaxing harbor after a busy day? Therefore, speak your own needs appropriately, and don't let the other party guess according to your own mood.
When it comes to money, it is also something that must be made clear before marriage. Both sides need reason. As the saying goes, there is no doubt that both husband and wife have the same property, but for family property, the woman should make reasonable demands according to the man's economic strength, and must not be harsh. Although it hurts to mention property planning, it is indeed the greatest guarantee to safeguard the rights and interests of both parties, and it is also for the material life after marriage.
4. Be clear about your views on married life and the family situation of both parties. For example, living with each other's parents involves money, and you should be firm in your unacceptable attitude, because the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law seems to have become a century-long problem in today's society. You and the other party must come up with a better way to avoid this. If it is really unavoidable, you should plan what to do after the conflict.
5, living habits After all, two people live together after marriage, because they grew up in different environments, so many living habits are definitely different. If you find that there are many things you can't get along with after marriage, if you are clean and the other person doesn't like cleanliness, there will be another point of quarrel, which will be harmful to the future marriage life.
6. What must be made clear before marriage is also the most important thing. The two must be honest with each other. Sincerity between people is a bridge to establish friendly relations, and deception is often the most intolerable thing for people. Husband and wife must support each other. If there are difficulties, we must say anything that is harmful to their marriage, and we must confess and overcome the difficulties together, so that we can be sincere and loyal.