At what age did men and women get married in Ming Dynasty?
In the third year of Hongwu, Ming Taizu, Zhu Yuanzhang customized: "Every man is sixteen years old and a woman is fourteen years old, listening to marriage", which means that in order to get married, the man must be sixteen years old and the woman must be fourteen years old. Only in this way can we get married.
Of course, in the Ming Dynasty, not men and women could get married immediately when they reached the age, and both men and women had to complete various complicated procedures if they wanted to get married.
First of all, if you want to get married, you must get engaged first.
Daming law? The Family Law stipulates that if you want to get married, you must go through the process of "writing a marriage certificate and getting married according to the ceremony" before you can conclude a marriage. In other words, before marriage, men and women should exchange marriage papers with each other, that is, they must get engaged before they can get married. Getting married without getting engaged first will be punished by law.
In the Ming dynasty, they needed many conditions for their engagement.
First, we need a matchmaker. The so-called "matchmaker" is similar to the current marriage introducer. She mainly plays a bridging role in marriage, shuttling between men and women, communicating with each other, conveying the conditions of both sides for each other and reconciling the two sides. There is an old saying in China that "men and women don't ask their names unless there is an intermediary", "men and women don't pay an intermediary" and "women don't marry an intermediary", from which we can see that the matchmaker plays an important role in the marriage system.
Therefore, in the Ming Dynasty, both men and women had to have a matchmaker if they wanted to complete their engagement. The Daming Law stipulates that if you want to get engaged, you need the participation of the matchmaker at every step. "The words of the matchmaker" is a necessary condition for the engagement marriage document to take effect. If the marriage document is not signed by the matchmaker, it will be considered invalid.
Second, we need to exchange birthday red stickers. The so-called "date of birth" refers to the date when a person was born; Year, month, day, * * * four columns, each column has two words, and * * * eight words. People in ancient times believed that the quality of a birthday would determine its future. At the same time, the ancients also thought that different birthdays were related. If you live together on birthdays, both men and women will have very good fortune and financial potential, but if you live together, your fortune will decline and your family will be restless.
Therefore, before getting engaged, the ancients would exchange birthdays with each other to see whether the future fate of men and women is good or bad and whether they live together. Only when the date of birth meets the requirements of both parents will they agree to get engaged.
Third, when engaged, the elders at home need to come out to preside over it. China's marriage has always been "parents' orders, matchmakers' words". If both men and women want to get married, they must get the consent of their elders. Their marriage will not be recognized without the consent of their elders.
The marriage law of Ming Dynasty attached great importance to parents' life. "Big clearly? The law stipulates: "If you get married, your grandparents and parents will get married. If you don't have grandparents and parents, you will get married from the remaining relatives. "That is to say, both engagement and marriage need the participation of elders. If your grandparents were here, they would get married. If not, your parents will get married. If grandparents and parents are gone, other elders in the family will take charge. Generally speaking, a marriage needs the participation of both parents from the beginning of engagement to the end of engagement, and then to gift and marriage. If there is no "parents' order" engagement, the Ming Dynasty will not recognize its validity, and if it goes against the wishes of the elders, both men and women will be punished.
Fourth, the bride price is needed. In the Ming Dynasty, the engagement marriage system was implemented, that is, in order to get engaged, the man's parents had to give the woman's parents a certain dowry and money. As long as the woman accepts this dowry, it means that her parents have agreed to be engaged to the man.
Fifth, you need a marriage certificate. This is the most important part and the last part of the engagement. The content of marriage documents in Ming Dynasty mainly lists the information of male and female labor, land property, official position, financial employment and so on. In the format of male left and female right, the names of men and women, date of birth, place of origin and names of three generations of ancestors were written respectively. At the same time, in this marriage document, the officiant and the matchmaker should sign separately. In addition, the footprints and handprints of both men and women were printed on marriage documents in many areas of the Ming Dynasty. Since then, after the marriage certificate is signed, both parents have a marriage certificate as a good proof for Qin Jin's two families to get married.
Once a marriage certificate is signed, it has legal effect. Since then, although men and women are not married, they are married, and their parents are commensurate with their in-laws. And if one party breaks off marriage without reason, it will be severely punished by law. The Family Law stipulates: "At the beginning of engagement, if there are disabled, old and young, concubines, prostitutes and beggars, both families need to know the notice, write down the engagement according to their wishes, and get married according to the ceremony. If a married woman reports a marriage certificate, gets engaged privately and regrets it, she will be fined 50 ",which means that once both men and women violate the agreement in the marriage certificate, the defaulting party will be fined 50".
Of course, it does not mean that both men and women must get married after signing a marriage certificate. In fact, if both men and women have the following circumstances, this marriage certificate can be cancelled.
First, when a man and a woman are engaged and die for some reason, the engagement is automatically dissolved. If both men and women die for some reason, the marriage certificate will be automatically cancelled. In this case, the bride price given by the man to the woman before the letter of appointment does not need to be returned. "Daming Law" clearly stipulates: "If you are engaged, but the man and the woman have died before marriage, you will not be investigated for bride price." That is to say, if a man and a woman enter into an engagement and write a letter of appointment, and one of them dies of illness or other reasons before the wedding, the man may not recover the bride price, and the woman does not need to return it to the man.
Second, the man does not get married for no reason and escapes. If the man breaks the contract himself or runs away because of something, the woman can unilaterally dissolve the marriage. During the Chenghua period, the Ming court stipulated that "those who have been engaged for five years without reason and whose husbands have fled for three years and have not returned, will be certified by the official, remarried and will not pursue the bride price". That is to say, within five years after the engagement, if the man doesn't marry the betrothed for no reason, the woman can apply to the government. After official verification, the woman can freely choose to remarry without returning the bride price.
Third, men and women may commit rape and theft. The Ming law stipulates that "although men and women are not engaged, they commit adultery, theft, adultery and other acts in private" and "it is incumbent on them, so there is no need to repent if they listen to their words and don't marry". That is to say, if one of them commits adultery, rape, robbery and other serious crimes after engagement and before marriage, the other party can choose to break off the marriage and remarry.
Secondly, after the engagement is completed, it is the two most important links in the marriage process, that is, marriage. After signing the marriage certificate and setting the wedding date, the man's family will go to the woman's house to "make up" the day before the wedding. Take Beijing in the Ming Dynasty as an example. On this day, most of the men's families took the dining table and rooster to the women's house to make up. Once the woman's family begins to accept the reconciliation ceremony, it is necessary to get ready as soon as possible, start preparing for tomorrow's wedding reception, and go to the man's house to decorate the new house, commonly known as paving the house.
The next day, the man will set out on a good day to meet the bride and go home. Take Nanjing in Ming Dynasty as an example. The man goes to the woman's house to pay homage, and the sedan chair is usually issued at four or five in the afternoon. The groom will wear a champion hat, a dragon and phoenix red robe, a red flower around his waist to greet the bride, and drum music will be played in front of the sedan chair. Then when the sedan chair comes to the door of the woman's house, the woman's house will shine into the sedan chair with a mirror, and then light firecrackers and put them in the sedan chair to ward off evil spirits. This is called "sedan chair search". After that, the bride will put on new shoes, or be helped by the bride, or be carried by the brothers at home. After that, before the sedan chair leaves, women will set off firecrackers for good luck.
Of course, due to customs and habits, different regions in the Ming Dynasty were also different. In some areas, the elders of the man's family bring gifts and sedan chairs to the woman's house to marry the bride, and the groom does not attend the wedding. In some areas, the bride will be sent to the man's house by her mother, and her aunt will host a banquet for her mother.
After that, when both men and women complete the wedding ceremony, they need to complete at least three processes: 1) "Women meet their aunts and uncles", that is, the newlyweds will meet their in-laws and uncles early the next morning and serve food with water. 2) "Temple Fair" means that the next day, the host of the man's family will take the couple to the ancestral hall to visit their ancestors. 3) "Parents who meet each other", on the fourth day after marriage, the groom needs to follow the bride back to her parents' home.
In this way, after all the above processes are completed, marriage will be considered.
In addition, divorce was possible in the Ming dynasty, that is to say, after marriage, it did not mean death. When it is inappropriate, you can still divorce if you meet certain conditions. Of course, the divorce in the Ming Dynasty was for the man, not for the woman, and the woman could not ask for a divorce. At that time, the man had the right to divorce the woman as long as he met any of the seven items of "childless (no son), fornication (adultery), unfilial to his elders (unfilial), talkative (talkative), petty theft (petty theft), jealousy (jealousy) and serious illness (serious illness)".
However, we should note that there was still some respect for women in the Ming Dynasty. At that time, if women met the conditions of "three noes", men could not file for divorce as long as they were not adultery. This "three don't go" means that if you get married, you will not go back (homeless) and you will not go; Don't go if you have a mourning period of more than three years (who has been mourning for your in-laws for three years); Be greedy before you are cheap, and be rich after you are rich. Don't go.