There is nothing special about marriage customs. (The ancient customs of Huanggang are reproduced below for you to see! Macheng or Huanggang! )
Most marriages in Raoping Huanggang and its surrounding areas are related to family style. Purchasers are usually mediated by the media and introduced by relatives and friends. At present, both men and women get married because of their classmates and colleagues.
Traditional marriage customs have certain procedures: generally, the first step is "blind date", in which the man goes to the woman's house to "see each other". If the woman thinks this "son-in-law embryo" is desirable, she will cook sugar porridge and invite her, and then the woman will go to the man's house to see the house, home furnishings and so on. The so-called "visiting family style" is mostly done by her father and brother. At present, girls often go to the man's house to observe.
If the two families initially agree, it is convenient for men to take a day off. That is, the matchmaker led the man's uncle and uncle to the woman's house to ask her birthday. The whole family is serious and equipped with a "mailbox" (the mailbox is 32 cm long, 0/0 cm wide and 5 cm high, made of precious wood such as sandalwood, equipped with copper hinges, "Ruyi" locks and small copper locks). Stick a big post around the mailbox, mark the man's birthday on the post, and then lock it. Put it in the box, carry it to the woman's house, unlock it and take it out. The woman fills in the girl's birthday on this post, and then locks it up and takes it back. The man asks the star to ask his family to do the math. This is called "marriage". The astrologer has his own theory, that is, "men choose women, and the eight characters are expensive and have two stars; Women choose men, and eight characters are expensive and neutral. "As long as there is no big change in the family of both men and women in the short term, this marriage will probably be successful-because before this procedure, both men and women, especially the woman's' eight characters' have been passed on to each other by the matchmaker, and should be' combined' first.
"Take a day off" is followed by "talk about employment". The man usually sends some money first, and at present, it is mostly 240 yuan, plus 32 cakes, in pairs (that is, two banyan branches). The woman received the money, opened the box of cakes, took half from around, and put the rest in the middle with "a pair of red flowers" (that is, two pomegranate branches), which was brought back by the man. The amount of dowry varies with the background of the times and family conditions, and is always agreed by the two families. In the old society, the rich married maids and fields; The poor are nothing more than a few daily necessities. Ordinary people are mostly beds, tents, boxes, cabinets, barrels and the like, but at present, there are many household appliances. The disparity between the rich and the poor is different from that in Wan Li. But you have to make up eight formulas. If the woman has a grandmother alive, she will be given a "mother box" as a bride price, mostly cakes and food, and some will be exchanged for money.
Then there is "employment", which is generally how much to pay for "employment" and how much to pay for "success". As above, then send it to 240 yuan.
Then there is a "food engagement", in which the man gives the woman candy and cakes and distributes them to relatives and friends. The moral is to convey a good news: "Girls will marry when they grow up." People who receive cakes and snacks should give gifts: cloth, jewelry or powder ... called "sending pollen".
Finally, the "end of the employment period": the man made up the agreed dowry and sent the "dragon and phoenix post" calculated by the Xing Ming family. "Dragon and Phoenix Post" is also called "Nine Faces Post". In fact, there are only eight faces in the nine-face big post, and only a small piece is broken on the eighth page (that is, the back cover). Its meaning "eight" is negative, "afraid of having girls"; "Nine" is a positive number, "I hope to have a boy".
The nine-face poster is folded from red paper, and the words "dragon and phoenix stickers" or "harp sound" are written on the cover. The second page of this book is about the birthdays of men and women. The man called it "dried jujube" and "Jiansheng", while the woman called it "Kunzao" and "Sheng Rui". Indicate the year, month, day and hour in the middle, and indicate the branches such as Yang Qi, Yin Fetus, Fuxing and Tencel.
The third page indicates the winning time, clothes cutting time and checkout time; The fourth page indicates the time of bed-settling, blessing and coronation; The fifth page indicates the date of marriage and mothering; The sixth page is empty, or the word "child" is written on the book, and it will be filled in later when the child is born; The seventh page expresses the wish of prayer in the form of poems or couplets. For example, "the sun shines on good luck, marriage is happy, the husband sings well with the woman, and everything goes smoothly" and so on.
The word "Fu" is usually written on the back cover.
After the dragon and phoenix post is issued, if the woman has no objection, she will make preparations according to the items and dates indicated in the post. The bride invited a "lucky man", that is, an old woman with a complete husband and wife and many children, to untie her braids and comb her hair, and some even arranged for them to sleep together, asking the old woman to teach her what to pay attention to in the room. The same is true for the groom. Besides cutting his own hair and decorating his new house, he should also ask good people at home (his parents can also) to "settle down" for him. Some people also say four words in bed, such as "Jin Yu pillows the foot of the bed, the groom is the father, and when it is auspicious, Weng Ma smiles" and so on.
If the woman feels a little inappropriate, she can ask the man to take another day off. Choosing a date is called "entering the day", which is actually to extend the wedding date. For example, the man originally planned to get married on the first day of August, but the woman felt that she had bumped into someone on the first day and asked for another eight or five days. If the man thinks the eighth day is good, it will be on the eighth day; Fifteen. Okay, fifteen. The first 85 days are not good, just 12 days. If the woman has no objection, it will be twelve. Otherwise, choose another day, and both sides have no objection. On the contrary, one situation is "quitting Japan", that is, shortening the wedding period and getting married in advance. Usually, someone in the man's or woman's family (within five clothes) dies, and both parties are unwilling to choose another wedding date because of this. At that time, the bride packed her daily clothes and sundries and hurried to her husband's house to get married. If you haven't finished all the things agreed before, leave them for another day. If it is a person who died in the woman's family, even if it is a deceased father and mother, the bride should not mourn. If her husband's family dies, when the bride arrives at her husband's family, she will be dressed in linen and hold a stick to "do things", which is called "wielding ferocity". Because of elopement, it is also called "running away".
On the wedding day, relatives and friends will accompany the groom to the woman's house to get married. Three days before the bride gets married, her daily life is accompanied by her neighbors and sisters. On the wedding day, you should eat six bowls, that is, six dishes. Have a green mother (that is, a bridesmaid) to accompany you when you eat. Before getting married, you should say goodbye to your parents (worship them four times) and cry, which means to cry out "eye juice" (tears) and leave it to your brother as a "guy" (property). Before the bride gets on the sedan chair (or rides or walks), the bride's father or clan always sprays "safflower (pomegranate) water" on the sedan chair, saying good things, such as "safflower water sprayed on the sedan chair, and the daughter (or bride) married like a lady." After the bride leaves the house, she can't look back. The route to my husband's house is also particular: don't take shortcuts. To enter from the east or south gate, you must pass by the groom's house. Some brides meet their parents when they get married, but choose to meet their parents when they leave their parents' home. When I entered my in-laws' house, I chose the time to urge my parents. It will take two hours before and after this, and we can't stop on the way. If the distance from the bride to the groom's house is not too far, you have to walk slowly. To accurately grasp this time, it is up to the bridesmaids. Some brides get married on the day of "three evil spirits and white tigers", and there are no other days available, so they have to hang a piece of pork in front of the sedan chair and pick it outside her husband's house and throw it away.
If the bride is married and there is an unmarried sister in the family, the sister will stand on the half ladder and send her to get married. I live in a big place and should get married first, but I don't want to get in your way or be inferior to you. If there are unmarried brothers, so is the form. At present, people avoid going upstairs, or simply stay outside and don't go home.
Local customs believe that women are most respected on this day. In the old society, when the official sedan chair met the bride sedan chair, the official sedan chair had to temporarily avoid it and let the bride sedan chair pass first. People who generally "make money", whether they are engaged in small business or fishing and hunting, will sigh when Lu Yu's bride gets married: "Unfortunately, today is not profitable." This is a daily - happened thing. Therefore, when local people choose Japanese-style homes, they tend to choose children, ugliness, shade and other times when there are fewer passers-by. When the bride enters the house, her husband's family should avoid it, and the door is wide open, so that the bride can enter the house and her husband's family can come out. In the old days, when the bride entered the door, she put a small straw on the threshold and lit a cigarette to let the bride pass through, which was called "smoke across the fire".
Huanggang is a dock. Most residents come from all corners of the country, and everyone keeps their own customs. Therefore, the marriage customs in the same place are different. There is a bridal chamber; And those who don't make bridal chamber. Those who don't make trouble in the bridal chamber are afraid of "grabbing" with the bride, which affects each other's luck. The people who make trouble in the bridal chamber are similar to others. Most of them are slapstick and laughing, and some even play poker in the bride's bed. Say four elegant and popular words, it is best to be humorous and cause laughter. For example, "if the bracket is hard, it will knock under the bed." Today, you will marry a grandmother and tomorrow you will be a father. " More than 30 years ago, the author looked at the bridal chamber, and a young man said, "The bride is elegant and slippery, and her belly is full of milk." In the laughter of the whole room (including the bride and groom), there is no following. It must be noted that at that time and place, there was absolutely no unmarried pregnancy who dared to make a fuss about the wedding. People who say four sentences are limited to knowledge, just funny, and people never take it amiss.
After the wedding, the wedding is over. It used to be different, but now it's more interesting. It is hard to describe those who follow the ancient times, those who do not follow the ancient times, and those who mix ancient and modern times. It is particularly noteworthy that marriage customs are inevitably restricted by political movements. In changing and turbulent times, such as land reform and previous political movements, weddings are often simplified. For example, during the Cultural Revolution, they chose a festival or a rest day, went to the cinema to watch a movie, and after the break, they went to the man's house together and got married. The neighbor said, "Yam's wife is afraid to be known." Yam said, "I don't know myself. Last night, my son asked me to cook another person's food this morning, but the one who will eat is a new wife. "
According to the traditional wedding custom, the bride should hide in the room for three days, then leave the room after three days and open the rice jar to scoop rice for cooking. Put a red envelope in the rice jar first, and it belongs to the bride. After dinner, "going back to the kitchen" and "going back to the kitchen" are based on the premise of going home before cooking dinner (no smoke). Traffic is inconvenient, and those who walk too far may not go back to their parents' home. They can have lunch at a roadside shop at will and then go back to their husband's house, which is also a reward. There will be "twice" and "three times" in the future. Recently, many people ignore the "three returns" and combine the three returns with the two returns, that is, after returning to my mother's house, I will go out again and then go back to my mother's house for the second time. If you are an "immigrant" bride, you have to wait four months and come back another day. The bride's family usually cooks sugar porridge to entertain. Then Uncle Ya brought oil to accompany the bride back to her husband's house and said, "Bring oil to add lights". "Light" and "Ding" are homophonic. I hope the bride will have a baby early. There are three kinds of "uncles": the bride's brother, the bride's mother's uncle and the bride's nephew. (Some people don't have a nephew at home, so they can "borrow" one from the clan to be an uncle. Uncle Ya will bring candy and cakes (some specially make glutinous rice cakes) and distribute them to his brothers, uncles and in-laws. When he receives the cake, he will give it back with a red envelope and tie it around his neck. This is called "planting a beard".
When the bride comes back, the bridesmaid takes her to "sprinkle the well", that is, sprinkle a small bag of brown sugar into the well. At that time, the bridesmaid was mumbling to herself, asking for the blessing of "Gong Jing Ma Jing" (a good god) and the care of her neighbors.
The bride's dowry should have scissors, needles and thread. On this day, we should "cut" and skillfully make a dress; You usually have to cut the seams.
A beaded needle should be inserted into the bride's bun. Bead needle has a function: during sexual intercourse, the groom is either overworked or overexcited, or for some reason, it leads to ejaculation, which is commonly known as "getting on the horse". At this time, it is convenient for the woman to pull out the bead needle and stick it on the man's ass. The husband contracted violently when he was in pain, and the "Yellow River went against the current" saved the driver. If you don't understand this formula and push a person down in a panic, he will be exhausted and die of Yang.
If the bride gets married during the menstrual period, she should put four plates at the foot of the bed with some water and grass in them. Put a sickle at the foot of the bed and call it a "horse" to cut horse grass for entertainment. You couldn't share a room at that time. Parents of the groom before marriage should also teach the groom this knowledge.
Before the bride sits in the toilet for the first time in her husband's family, she should pour some oil into the toilet, and the bridesmaid should also say four words, to the effect that "spilled oil makes the baby slippery", hoping that the production will be smooth in the future.
There should be a rooster in the bride's dowry. Some even ask women with more men for a pair of children's clothes and put them on the bed. I hope the bride will have a son soon.
Although the bride's dowry is very different. But one is the same. That is, "in front of my son-in-law" and "in front of my son-in-law", there are twelve red eggs, twelve bananas, a pig heart and a brown sugar ball. Boil pig hearts and brown sugar on the wedding night. It is said that in this way, the couple can live together with one heart and one mind. "Grass head" is two salty grasses tied with red paper and red silk rope to take the meaning of grass head knotting. "Abdominal waist", Chinese-style chest covering also. Is to fold the cloth into Chinese-style pockets, with little lines. Put seeds (mostly early seeds), Long Yin (money), dried longan and a bundle of cotton (wrapped in red paper and rolled into a bundle, with cotton at both ends and tied with red silk rope in half). The man wants to put a kerosene lamp (with happy words written on the lamp) in the bridal chamber, let it burn for three days and nights, and put two pairs of Daji (four oranges) and a "black bean ball" made of fried black beans and brown sugar. All this is based on a wish: good luck, long life, full children and grandchildren, great wealth and great wealth.
These are all first marriages.
The custom that a man's son-in-law is adopted by a woman's family is similar. Generally speaking, there are also people who visit each other, discuss employment and say hello to relatives (the woman's elders will say hello, and some brides will also go). There are also "dowry" (because the man also has gifts from relatives and friends and things inherent in the family) and "return gifts". In the old society, when the man went to the woman's house, he changed his surname to the woman until the stone tablet was carved, and the woman changed her surname to her husband on the stone tablet, so that it would not be mistaken for intermarriage with the same surname-intermarriage with the same surname was not allowed in the old society.
The groom whose children are adopted by his wife and sisters is called "uncle", and the aunt whose husband is married is called "aunt". At present, most men who have married their wives have not changed their surnames, and only children have taken the woman's surnames. If there are many children, there are some male surnames. There are also some surnames that use the man's full name, which is very harmful to the woman's parents.
With the advance of the wheel of history, traditional marriage customs have seriously impacted the concepts of male superiority and female inferiority. But objectively speaking, it will take time to completely eradicate this concept, especially among the working people with poor economic conditions and low educational level. As for intermarriage with the same surname, it is ubiquitous and common.
Funeral, mainly for mourning. It is the relatives and friends of the deceased (usually women, men are responsible for entertaining guests, and the custom in eastern Hubei is to treat guests at funerals. ) to cry, mainly to express regret for the deceased and praise for the achievements of the deceased before his death, and to tell the misfortune of the deceased. The first night after the death of the deceased, it should be made by the next of kin of the deceased (usually a younger generation, such as a son or daughter! Before burial, Mr. Feng Shui should choose a date and house to discuss the burial. Before the funeral, all undertaker people need to wear Pima Dai Xiao (that is, put Bai Si on their heads. The more relatives of the deceased, the longer Bai Si wears it, all the way to the heels and even mopping the floor! ) Oh, that's all I know!