This should be a noble and festive ceremony and a way for the woman to express her integration into the man's family.
However, the man often over-interprets the bride price and even makes some excessive behaviors.
The man had no idea that this kind of over-interpretation and excessive behavior is not only a disrespect for the woman, but also a disrespect for himself, his marriage and his family.
No one can expect a stingy husband and family to show due respect to his wife and daughter-in-law after marriage.
Yesterday, reader Xiaoling told me her personal experience. After reading it, I was also very emotional.
0 1、
Xiaoling's family conditions are better. Her father is a lawyer and her mother runs a business.
Good family conditions and family education have cultivated Xiaoling's self-reliance and self-love, lively and cheerful personality.
At a colleague's birthday party, Xiaoling met Radar from a working family.
Radar shows great affection for Xiaoling, and Xiaoling doesn't hate radar. Under the matchmaking of colleagues, the two began to try together.
Under the crazy love offensive of radar, Xiaoling soon fell in love.
After several months of communication, Radar proposed to take Xiaoling to see her parents, and Xiaoling, who is cheerful, readily agreed.
Knowing that Xiaoling was coming, Radar's mother cleaned the house spotless and specially cooked a sumptuous meal.
Xiaoling came to radar's house and saw the room spotless. The table is full of her favorite dishes. Knowing that Radar's mother was considerate, especially her enthusiasm, Xiaoling had the illusion of returning to her home.
At the dinner table, Radar's mother praised Xiaoling for being beautiful and sensible, which made Xiaoling feel very embarrassed.
After dinner, radar's mother said, "Xiaoling, this is a blessing for radar to train eight generations."
While pouring water for Xiaoling, she continued: "We still have a house in our hometown. This is a wedding room specially prepared for you. When you get married, we will move away so as not to disturb your young people's lives. "
Seeing Xiaoling want to talk, Radar's mother interrupted her with a wave of her hand: "You don't have to worry about the children. When you have a child, leave it to me. "
Radar's mother's enthusiasm and family harmony gave Xiaoling a glimmer of hope for a happy life after marriage.
Xiaoling also took the radar to meet her parents. They have a good impression of radar. Xiaoling's mother even asked radar to be the department manager of her company.
For the radar that has just entered the workplace, it is tantamount to stepping into the sky. He treats Xiaoling better.
With the deepening of the relationship between Xiaoling and Radar, both parents sat down together and began to discuss their wedding.
Xiaoling's parents know the family conditions of radar and have not made any special requirements.
But out of respect for the man, Xiaoling's parents said some details of the bride price and banquet according to the established rules.
Radar's parents readily promised and repeatedly expressed their reasonable thanks to their in-laws.
It should have been a happy marriage, but what happened later broke Xiaoling's vision.
02、
After the wedding date was confirmed, Radar's mother showed more enthusiasm, and talked to Xiaoling almost every day, asking questions.
Xiaoling, who is cheerful, didn't think much about this unusual enthusiasm, and felt that her future mother-in-law was also a cheerful and enthusiastic person.
Suddenly one day, Radar asked Xiaoling to get a marriage certificate.
In this regard, Xiaoling is a little dumbfounded, remembering that the bride price of radar has not been sent yet. She politely asked Radar, "Is it a little early to get a marriage certificate?"
The radar replied, "dear, isn't the marriage certificate the key point in the morning and evening?" I got it in advance so as not to be in a hurry when I got married. "
Xiaoling was a little worried when she saw that Radar kept silent about the bride price.
She thought about it and said to the radar, "What you said makes sense, but I'm not ready yet. Why don't we call the Civil Affairs Bureau to make an appointment first and then bring Kolor back later? "
Seeing Xiaoling's insistence, Radar had to agree with Xiaoling, and they agreed to get the certificate one week before the wedding.
Two days later, radar's mother asked Xiaoling to go shopping together and showed her the wedding photography, wedding companies and hotels she had chosen, but none of the people around her were radar, which made Xiaoling feel very strange.
During the break, Radar's mother said to Xiaoling, "Xiaoling, Radar told me about getting the license. He is a big man, not as detailed as we women think. I know your concern. Do not worry about the bride price. You came to our home. Can we still break up with that money? "
After listening to Radar's mother's words, Xiaoling explained: "Auntie, what I care about is not the money for the bride price, but the sense of ceremony. Please also rest assured that I will bring the bride price back intact. "
Radar's mother smiled and said, "You child, how can a family talk about two families?"
A week before the wedding, radar's bride price hasn't arrived yet. Although there are some doubts in my heart, based on my love and trust for her, Xiaoling and Radar got a marriage certificate.
Unexpectedly, from this day on, radar's mother was like a different person, and the phone's caring and attentive became bossy.
One minute accused Xiaoling's parents of not paying enough attention to Xiaoling's wedding, the next minute said Xiaoling's dowry was too shabby, and even accused Xiaoling's parents of not preparing a wedding room for Xiaoling.
Xiaoling held back her anger and asked Rada out, ready to tell him face to face.
In the face of Xiaoling's questioning, the radar replied faintly: "There are too many things recently, and my mother is a little nervous. You have to understand. Besides, what she said is not completely wrong. "
Xiaoling tried her best to calm her voice. She asked Radar, "Radar, you were there when my parents and your parents discussed the wedding. What did you say my parents promised? But what about your family? The bride price has not been sent yet! "
03、
Radar was speechless by Xiaoling, just saying to go home and discuss it.
Xiaoling has prepared for the worst, and what has been decided has become "consultation".
However, Xiaoling still holds a little extravagant hope in her heart. All this is caused by the emotional tension brought about by the approaching wedding day. Radar still loves herself, and radar's mother is still a cheerful and enthusiastic elder.
However, the phone call later made Xiaoling completely awake.
Less than an hour after Radar left, Xiaoling received a phone call from Radar's mother.
On the phone, radar's mother held her head high and said, "Xiaoling, don't bully radar for being clumsy and unable to speak." Let me ask you, given your family's economic conditions, are those bride price gifts too few? "
Then radar's mother didn't give Xiaoling a chance to speak at all, and continued: "I remind you that since you have got a marriage certificate, you are a member of our family, so forget about the bride price!" If you want a divorce, I can also tell you clearly that our radar does not agree! "
Radar's mother hung up the phone. From beginning to end, Xiaoling didn't say a word. She died for radar and her mother.
Xiaoling directly filed a divorce lawsuit with the court. As Radar refused to agree to divorce, she had to go through judicial procedures.
Xiaoling's mother's company dismissed Radar on the grounds of "unqualified probation period".
When Radar received the divorce indictment and dismissal letter, his whole family panicked. Neither radar nor his mother expected that Xiaoling would give up this marriage with the reputation of "second marriage" regardless of other people's pointing fingers.
Xiaoling blacked out his phone number directly for the repeated calls of the radar.
Rada's mother, with relatives and friends and a bride price, wanted to go to Xiaoling's house to apologize, but she couldn't even get in at the gate of the community.
Not only that, due to the cancellation of the wedding, the story of how the radar family treated Xiaoling gradually spread. People intentionally or unintentionally alienate the radar family, even in the local area, and no company is willing to hire radar.
The final result of this story, I'm afraid, was unexpected by the radar family.
However, if selfishness and calculation are mixed in a relationship, it will definitely lead to disillusionment.
For love, marriage and family, what is needed is giving, not taking, trusting, not cheating.
Being honest with each other is the most basic respect for feelings by all people.