There is a news that "the young man was rejected because he bought underwear that didn't fit", which triggered a heated discussion on the Internet.
This is a marriage tragedy caused by a pair of underwear.
This pair of underwear may be the last straw to overwhelm the camel, or it may be a carefully selected fuse. In short, the marriage has just begun, and it has already ended.
The woman's parents and the woman herself have voiced their voices in order to save their reputation; The man also responded that it is necessary to go through judicial procedures to recover the bride price.
Both men and women are trying to reduce the sunk cost of this marriage farce.
Since we know that it is a lose-lose game, why do the two sides have to fight on the eve of the wedding?
As the ancients said, orchids have a cause and a cause when they peck at one drink.
Everything in the world has a cause and effect.
It can be seen from the woman's response that the two sides have already had differences on the amount of the previous bride price.
During the period, there were other minor disputes, which were not properly handled by both sides, at least there were problems in communication, resulting in a backlog of contradictions. Finally, the chicken flies and the dog jumps, which is well known throughout the country.
02. The woman paid a bride price of 388,000 yuan.
In fact, the attitudes and values of both families towards marriage can best be reflected in the discussion on marriage before marriage.
The most important point is that in this process, it can also reflect the understanding and communication ability of both sides to deal with contradictions and differences.
These are the key factors to manage a good marriage. If marriage cannot continue because of these problems, it is a good thing. After all, long pain is better than short pain.
Reader Yao Shan (a pseudonym) recently divorced.
Yao Shan's hometown is in a third-tier city on the southeast coast. Her parents have been in business for many years and their family is well off. Last year, she met her boyfriend Ryan (a pseudonym) through a blind date.
Ryan works in a local company with moderate income, but his job is decent and stable.
After a year of dating, the two entered the marriage discussion. When parents met, Yao Shan's father gave a bride price of 388,000 yuan.
The local area is an economically developed area, and the level of bride price remains high in China, generally above 1.5 million. It is not uncommon for wealthy families to receive millions of bride price.
However, one thing is better. Generally, the woman's family will not leave a bride price, but let her daughter bring it back to the man's family by buying a car and home appliances.
In other words, the bride price of the man will be returned by the woman. Many families usually pay more money to prevent their daughters from being looked down upon by men.
For example, if the bride price of the man is10.5 million, the woman will buy a dowry of10.8 million or more.
If the woman's family economic conditions are really average, at least ensure that the dowry will not be lower than the bride price, otherwise she will be laughed at.
03. Commitment to get married is 6,543,800 yuan.
Yao Shan's father has a lot of face, and local businesses pay attention to social status and strength. He also wants to show off his daughter's marriage.
However, Ryan is an ordinary working family. Although the wedding room was bought two years ago, the cost of decoration and marriage has put him under some pressure.
His psychological expectation for the bride price is 6.5438+0.5 million.
Yao Shan's father saw the face of Ryan's family, and immediately, relying on the strength of wine, promised to return the dowry of 1 10,000 as long as the man's family paid a bride price of 388,000.
The introducer was also present at that time. Under his constant matchmaking, Ryan, who was already very moved, nodded and agreed. So the two sides quickly reached an agreement and successfully set the wedding date.
According to local customs, you should get engaged before the wedding. When engaged, the man will entertain the guests and give the bride price and gifts to the woman.
After the bride price was delivered, the woman's family began to prepare the dowry and prepare for the wedding.
When preparing the dowry, Ryan told Yao Shan that his car had just been bought for a year, and the household appliances in the wedding room were basically complete. Better bring a cash dowry.
It turns out that Yu Feng works in the company, although the benefits are good, but the salary is really average, and the working hours are long, and he is a little tired of working from nine to five.
Ryan has relatives doing business. He has always wanted to buy stocks, but he doesn't have a lot of money on hand. Now that he has a dowry of 654.38+00,000 yuan, it is just right for him to join the business world and show his strength.
On the eve of the wedding, the man was very dissatisfied.
Ryan's idea was soon known by Yaoshan's father.
Yao Shan also has a younger brother. Yao Shan's father promised a dowry of 1 10,000 at a time, which inevitably caused some distress.
And he also knows that the business is not good now, and the future son-in-law has no experience. He is worried that his money is gone and his daughter will not be guaranteed in the future.
So, Yao Shan's father directly bought a suite in full. He thinks it is beautiful and decent to use the house as a dowry, and it also protects his daughter's rights and interests.
It was not until the house purchase procedure was completed that Yu Feng was told that 1 10,000 dowry became a pre-marital house. He immediately lost control and had a big fight with Yao Shan.
Not only Ryan, but also Ryan's family is very dissatisfied, thinking that the Yaoshan family is very calculating.
05. Strongly demand to break off the marriage and return the bride price.
As mentioned above, when it comes to marriage, all kinds of interest disputes can best reflect the understanding and communication ability of both parties to deal with contradictions and differences.
Yao Shan's father believes that the man's family goes to work every day without turning his head. The woman's family actually spent 6.5438+0 million to buy a house as a dowry, so why bother?
Ryan's family thought there was no rape and no business. Yao Shan's parents have been in business for half their lives, and people have also entered the eyes of money, even counting their daughters' dowry.
Both sides couldn't understand each other's thoughts, both of them were driven by emotions, and they couldn't communicate well at all. Finally, the talks broke down.
The man strongly demanded to break off the marriage and return the bride price. Yao Shan's father became angry from embarrassment and directly agreed to cancel the wedding. The introducer couldn't stop him.
Some people say that previous marriages began with passion, fell into character, and finally ended with years; Today's marriage begins with fate, falls into money, and finally counts.
Many marriages have a good beginning, but none have a good ending. It is often because in the process of marriage, those who don't appreciate it keep calculating and hurting. ...
So, how to maintain and manage a marriage?
I think the most important thing is that both sides learn to understand and communicate correctly and cherish and understand each other.
There will inevitably be differences, contradictions and quarrels in life, but it is true feelings that cannot be separated from quarrels.