A young police officer wanted to make a phone call, but he had no change. So he stopped a passing veteran and said, "Do you have any change? Staff sergeant. "

"I'll find it for you." The veteran reached for his wallet.

"This is how you answer the second lieutenant? Do it again. Do you have any change on hand? Staff sergeant! "

"Report sir, no!" The veteran answered decisively.

Sailor's cabin

The commander of the navy inspected a newly built ship. When he went to the crew cabin, the captain told him that it was the cabin of 50 sailors!

The navy commander was surprised; "There are 50 people living in such a small place?"

The captain explained, "Not 50 people, but 50 sailors."

industrial disease

When the company commander reviewed the recruits, he had doubts about the arrangement of the team and asked a platoon leader, "Why are the tall men in the first row, the middle ones in the second row and the short ones in the last row?"

"Report to the company commander!" The platoon leader stood at attention and reported, "Because I was a fruit stand before I joined the army."

Dad is a general.

A newly promoted colonel went to the front to inspect the troops he would take over; When he came to a somewhat shy soldier in the queue, he stopped and said; "Young man, raise your head, even in front of big shots. Let's shake hands. You can write home and tell them that you shook hands with the colonel, and they will be proud of it. Young man, who is your father? "

"Report Sir, my father is a general.

Courage and decision

The officer asked, "Who can tell me the difference between courage and determination?"

Soldier: "It is brave to leave the barracks without authorization."

"What about the decision?"

"Don't go back to the barracks."

accidental event

Judge: "Private Lupo, why did you shoot the colonel?"

Lu Bei: "Mr. Judge, that was a very accidental event."

"What accident?"

"It was an accident. I didn't intend to shoot Mr. Colonel, but I shot Mr. Captain in the back. o "

cannot get/go through

One day, before morning exercises, the commander named nine soldiers who had not returned to the barracks to terminate their vacation. They were furious with Lei Huo. It was not until 6 pm that the first soldier swaggered back to the barracks.

"Excuse me, sir," explained the soldier. "I was delayed by an appointment. I missed the ride when I came back, but I made up my mind to come back, so I rented a carriage. Who knows that I suddenly died halfway on the horse, and I still walked 10 miles to get back. "

The officer listened suspiciously, but he forgave him. However, after following him, the seven soldiers who came back one after another all said so.

When the last soldier came back, the officer couldn't help it any longer, and shouted with his hands akimbo, "What's the matter with you?"

When the soldier was about to report, the officer lost his temper and shouted, "That's enough. Don't tell me the horse is dead. "

"No, sir," said the soldier plausibly, "the horse is not dead. The terrible thing is that there are eight dead horses lying on the road, and my carriage managed to pass. "

fight back

A soldier who fought in the front line received a dear John letter from his girlfriend in his hometown, saying that she was going to marry a businessman and asked the soldier to send back the photos he had sent him before.

The soldier thought about it, borrowed twenty or thirty photos of women from his comrades-in-arms, put them in a wooden box with the photos of his girlfriend, and sent them to the ungrateful girlfriend.

After receiving the wooden box, my girlfriend found a note in the box, which said, "Please pick out your photo. Because I can't remember which one you are, the rest must be sent back! "

breakfast

The general went to the company to check the food of the soldiers. He asked the soldiers how they were eating. The soldiers all said vaguely, "not bad" and "not bad" Only one soldier said foolishly, "Ghosts don't eat, sir."

The general went up to him and asked him, "What did you have for breakfast today?"

"A bowl of porridge, half a honey watermelon, three hot cakes, two eggs, a plate of bacon, two meat rolls and a cup of coffee, sir." The soldier counted along his fingers.

"Son," said the general, "it's almost time for the king's breakfast!"

"Report, Hasegawa!" The soldier said: "This is what I ate with 4 yuan money in the snack bar of the military consumer service department."

Wound scar

The ancient Romans were a martial people, and soldiers were proud of their injuries before and ashamed of their back injuries. Once, a soldier showed off the scars on his face in front of the emperor. The emperor said to him, "I see, you must have looked back when you ran for your life."

Soldiers' worries

General Critz went to the front to inspect. As soon as he got to the front line, a bullet from the enemy sniper knocked off a button on his uniform. The general was frightened to disgrace and fell to his knees. The officers and men who followed were indifferent. The general was very angry. He shouted to the nearest soldier, "Why are you?"

Imagine destroying this damn sniper? "

"Report to General Critz," the soldier straightened his chest, "because I'm worried that the enemy will change into a sniper with better marksmanship."

Playback effect

Exposed people like to walk on the grass, and the notice on the grass "Don't trample on the grass" is useless, so the base headquarters erected a new signboard, which immediately took effect.

The original sign said, "The grass has been mined."

military exercise

Miss Dany goes to town from her villa in the country every day. On this day, she saw many soldiers and tanks, cannons and cars on the road. She didn't know that the army was practicing.

She drove to a bridge, and an officer politely saluted her: "Miss, you can't pass through here."

Why? "Asked Miss D 'Daniang, looking at the intact bridge.

"It was blown up two hours ago, O"

"Then when can I go over?"

"Excuse me, Miss!" The officer replied seriously, "I can't tell you that I was killed three hours ago."

Shoes don't match.

"I'm sorry, sergeant," a soldier complained in the clothing distribution room. "You gave me the wrong shoes."

"Joke," said the police officer puzzled, "you are the second person to say such a thing today."

Jingjue

The sergeant shouted the password: "Look to the right."

The soldiers all carried out the orders, only Brown looked to the left.

"Why didn't you carry out the order?" The sergeant asked.

"I'm afraid the enemy will attack us from the left."

habit

In the recruitment office, the person in charge asked De Jean:

"Which arms do you want to serve in?"

"I want to be a naval sailor."

"Very well, how about we put you on the submarine?"

"That can't do! Sir. "

"Why!"

"Because, I usually have the habit of sleeping with the window open.

Face test

Officer: "one dark night, you were out on a mission, and suddenly someone hugged your arm tightly." What did you say? "

Applicant: "Honey, let me go."

The dog on the bridge

The commander asked the scouts to find out whether there was a bridge ahead for the troops to cross.

Scouts found the situation and came back to report: "There is a bridge that tanks and artillery units can cross, but infantry can't."

The commander lost his temper: "Nonsense?"

Scout: "Absolutely! Because there is a big dog lying on the bridge! "

misunderstand

A soldier got drunk and went back to the barracks. The lieutenant on duty called him to talk. The lieutenant told him about the dangers of drinking.

"If you hadn't drunk, you might be a sergeant now. Don't you like promotion? "

The soldier replied, "To tell you the truth, I felt like a captain after drinking a glass of wine."

Afraid you're afraid.

Gary Locke, a retired veteran, likes to tell the younger generation about his past war experiences.

"I remember that once I was on a mission alone and met an enemy company. I fought alone and ended up killing them all. "

The grandson asked, "When you told this story last year, you only said that one platoon was destroyed. How did it become a company this year? "

"Stupid, you were young last year, I was afraid you were afraid of O"

Who's drunk

The soldier reported that when he was driving, he suddenly smelled a drunk driver in front of him, so the two cars collided violently. At this time, the commander asked the soldier, "How do you know that the other party is drunk?"

"Because I saw him driving a tree forward." The soldier replied.

Drink up the whisky.

In the hot summer, the sergeant led a group of recruits to carry out assassination training. The soldiers are listless.

The sergeant had to order a time-out and admonish the soldiers:

"Listen, these scarecrows are your real enemies. They burned down your house, killed your parents, stole your sisters, stole your money and drank all the whisky in your house! "

Sergeant just say that finish, a soldier with a rifle, staring at the red eyes, shouted at the sergeant:

"Sergeant, please tell me, who drank all our whisky?"

Terrible obstacle

An advertisement for volunteers in western countries reads: "Join the paratroopers. It is better to cross the road and jump off the plane. "

Someone wrote under the advertisement: "I want to attend, but the recruitment office is across the street."

be bright in the eye

Sir, please allow me to report that our monitor is drunk again. "

"How do you know?"

"He is scraping the mirror with a blade."

Put out the fire completely

A ship caught fire at sea. The port fire brigade came to put out the fire. In his subsequent report to the boss, the fire chief proudly claimed that he had contributed.

"I ordered the ship to sink and put out the fire immediately."

Extraordinary endurance

The admiral asked the young sailor, "Young man, how long have you been in the navy?" ,

"A month," the sailor asked. "So how long were you in the navy?" .

Although the general thought his question was abrupt, he patiently replied, "Thirty years."

The sailor said sympathetically, "Is it hard?"

Call privilege

A group of sergeant major lined up on the playground, waiting for the formidable officers to inspect them. The officer has an excitable puppy and often follows him.

The dog barked behind the police officer as he strode forward. The sergeants heard him command the dog in a firm tone: "Shut up! I have the right to call them, but you didn't! "

outdated

The combat commander announced to his men:

"Tomorrow's assault is the most difficult World War I. The enemy already knows our intentions and will send tanks and paratroopers to reinforce. There is a big gap between the enemy and me. According to my estimation, each of us has to fight against 200 enemies.

"The plane carrying us didn't have enough fuel to return. Announce to start at seven o'clock tomorrow on time, and the latecomers will not wait for O "

Dictation only

A general went to attend a meeting. The chairman of the meeting asked him, "General, what's your full name?"

"Mr. Kadvale Ingram Ding Hameso.

"Please sign!"

"How to sign?"

"Write down your name."

"Sir," the general was angry, "I have never written a name. My orders and signatures are dictated. "

There is nothing wrong.

A veteran told his hometown about his battlefield experience:

"Once I was seriously injured and was in a coma. The platoon leader took me to the ammunition car. "

"Ammunition car?" The villagers were very surprised. "You probably mean an ambulance?"

"Don't make a mistake, it's an ammunition truck. The platoon leader said that so many bullets on me should be sent to the ammunition truck. "

icy

The troops are stationed in the Arctic Circle.

"It's not cold at all," said a veteran. "I have been to Alaska, that place is very cold! Even the fire in the stove is frozen and cannot be blown out. "

"What is this!" Another veteran was unconvinced. "In a place where I have been, when I was talking, my words were frozen! In this way, we have to melt the frozen words in boiling water to understand the command! "

Madame boarded the ship.

A woman boarded a warship to see the captain. The duty palace asked the second lieutenant to pass the O.

"Is she pretty?" Asked the captain.

"Very beautiful!" The second lieutenant replied.

After the guests left, the captain said, "Captain, you really have a good eye for women."

The second lieutenant replied, "Sir, I thought that was your wife."

The ship sighed and said, "Exactly."