Who can give me the lines of cross talk?

Double crosstalk script

A stepped onto the stage and was applauded ...)

A: Hello everyone! (Bowing) Today, I want to tell you a strange thing. ...

(b runs to the stage with a full face of resentment)

B: I'm so angry! Hum!

A: What's the matter? Brother?

I am running away from home. (Say that finish and cry)

Really?

B: What won't! My mother won't buy me that computer that has been tossing around for 4 years.

a； It's called Pentium

B: Whatever. It's popular now anyway. My mother won't buy it for me, so I'm in a hurry with her.

A: (to the audience) How can there be such a person?

B: That day, my mother and I went shopping and saw a computer shop. We walked in and were immediately attracted by a computer. I told my mother to buy it, but she wouldn't buy it anyway.

A: How much is it?

B: It's neither expensive nor expensive. Four zeros will do.

A: Isn't it expensive?

A: You! It's hard for your mother to have you. Why are you like this? Running away from home ... thanks to your imagination!

B: (speaking slowly with shame) What do you suggest?

a； Go back and apologize to her.

B: All right.

A: (facing the audience) Look at such a person ... (At this moment, B came angrily)

Ok, what about you ... (making an angry gesture) Forget it, when I feel sick.

A: What's the matter? What happened?

You asked me to apologize. I went, but what happened? ...

What was the result?

B: As a result, my mother was not angry at all.

A: How about this?

B: Is there anything delicious? She is not ashamed of not buying me a computer. You mean angry?

A: You apologize! And expect her to apologize to you?

b； You just told me to apologize. Now I have lost a lot of money.

A: If you do something wrong, you must admit it and apologize.

What should I do? I wanted to say' I'm sorry' casually and then listen to my mother's sincere apology. Now ... it's all your fault!

A: What a man! (finger b, facing the audience)

Haven't you ever helped your mother?

What do you mean?

Just helping her with some housework.

B: Yes! When I was 8 years old, I went to take out the garbage and saw two green cans, a big one and a small one. I drew lots to decide which one to take out and finally decided on the one with a small mouth. Something happened after I poured it in.

A: What's the matter?

I saw four big letters on the trash can-"China Post".

A: Ah!

Is this the only one?

B: No, 1, but we won't take out the garbage in the future.

a； What's that for?

Mop the floor.

A: That would be great.

b； I dragged it so hard that everyone was reflected on the floor.

A: Well done!

B: My mother was just about to compliment her after I turned her down. Boom! I fell down. Stand up. Knock on the door. I fell down again and stood up. ...

A: Boom! I fell down again.

B: I didn't fall this time.

A: That's good.

B: Just lie down after you stand up this time.

a； Faint ~ ` ~

A: After all, she is still your mother! You should have a grateful heart.

A: I just want to repay my parents' kindness and care for them bit by bit.

I see. I will never let my mother hold the broom nest and ashtray all day, with two rotten pens in her feet and one on her head. ...

A: What?

B: pressure cooker!

ah ...

Crosstalk "talk big"

Sue: Oh, look at this cross talk.

Woman: Yeah.

Sue: Crosstalk is a kind of comedy.

Wang: It's also oral literature.

Sue: Right, right, right.

Woman: Yeah.

Sue: Crosstalk is not just a performance.

Woman: Yeah.

Sue: In the process of creation.

W: Mm-hmm.

Sue: All aspects.

Woman: Yeah.

Sue: It's all exaggerated.

Wang: Right, right, right.

Sue: However, exaggeration must be moderate.

Wang: Oh.

Sue: If there is no marginal exaggeration.

Woman: Yeah.

Sue: I can't let you listen.

Woman: Yeah.

Sue: That will lose its educational significance.

Wang: Oh, it's unbelievable.

Sue: Right, right, right.

Wang: Oh.

Sue: It's not just art.

W: Mm-hmm.

Sue: It's the same in life.

Wang: Is there?

Sue: There are people in life.

Woman: Yeah.

Sue: The misty mountain covers you. Say what you have to say.

Wang: Oh.

Sue: Wow, it's unbelievable. There are many passers-by I met one that day, on the road to peace.

Wang: Oh.

Sue: Only saw me. Hey, Mr. Su, wow, I'm telling you, oh, I was looking for you.

Wang: Oh.

Sue: I want to introduce some topics to you.

Wang: Oh, what's the theme?

Sue: Me, I was here the other day. I am taking care of an adult. He is very tall. Oh, I said how high? This man, this man is standing at the bottom of the department store. He can reach the roof with his hands. It's great that you can make up a cross talk about this. I said you, you probably haven't woken up yet. Ah! Did you say you got it? This man is very big. ...

Wang: No, no, no, sir. Mr. Su.

Sue: Huh?

Wang: I have to stop you.

Sue: What's wrong?

Wang: Don't talk to people like that. When you talk like this, people will think you are rare and strange. How can you be so subjective? You know people who are not that tall.

Sue: Why is it so high?

Wang: Hehe, alas. You said this.

Sue: Hmm.

Wang: Just this man.

Sue: Hmm.

Wang: Come with me to see the tall man.

Sue: Hmm.

Wang: This is Xiao San.

Sue: mistress?

Wang: mistress.

Sue: How high have you seen it?

Wang: How high is this one I met?

Sue: Hmm.

Wang: Anyway, let me tell you.

Sue: Hmm.

Wang: Just this one, sitting at the bottom of the well, head up.

Sue: Is this man underground?

Woman: Yeah.

Sue: Hold your head up to the sky?

Wang: Go against the sky.

Sue: Why is he sitting? Is he not allowed to stand up?

Wang: No, no, you can't stand up.

Sue: Why?

Wang: Stand up, boy.

Sue: Hmm.

Wang: Poof, there is a hole in the sky.

Sue: Is that right?

Wang: Yes! You won't believe it. When I was six years old, I lived in my grandmother's house. My grandmother took me to see it herself.

Sue: With your own eyes?

Wang: I saw it with my own eyes.

Sue: Oh, I think so.

Woman: Yeah.

Sue: The size of the universe is amazing.

Wang: Well, that's right.

Sue: Well, right, right, right, right, right.

W: Mm-hmm.

Sue: It seems that you said this is not new either.

Wang: Isn't this new?

Sue: I saw a tall man.

Woman: Yeah.

Sue: It's taller than yours. Hmm. How interesting

Wang: How high is it?

Sue: How tall is he?

Woman: Yeah.

Sue: His head is indescribable. Anyway, let's put it this way.

Woman: Yeah.

Sue: I met this man.

Woman: Yeah.

Sue: This man only needs one mouth. His upper lip is close to the sky and his lower lip is close to the ground.

Wang: the upper lip is next to the sky and the lower lip is next to the ground?

Sue: Hmm.

Wang: What about his face?

Sue: Face.

Woman: Yeah.

Sue: Hey, this kid is full of nonsense, so why bother?

Wang: Me.

Double crosstalk

A: Hello, ladies and gentlemen!

H: Good evening!

B: the applause is very warm! Today is my first performance in the auditorium of XX school! I am very happy!

A: That's right! Let me introduce my friends here. This is my big brother, the famous "comedian" in XX school-XX!

You are welcome! I am the "comedian" of West University, and you-XXX are also the local "comedian" of our school!

A: Yes! We are all "laughing stars"!

B: The big "comedian" XX pays tribute to the friends present!

A: Wow! Many people don't blame this. Don't misunderstand me. My martial brother used to be Li's eunuch!

B: how to talk! Everyone knows why Ye has become the "laughing star" of Finance College today! Are you so excited as soon as you come on stage? Because in this Nanning Zhu Yong University, we will judge a campus "comedian" in this university campus. In the initial evaluation, my brother Ye won the first prize. Let us congratulate you, shall we?

A: Hahahaha! Damn it! Thank you. Thank you, MTV, CCTV and WC. Thank you for your encouragement. Without your encouragement, there would be no me today, so all of you here are my second parents!

Oh! Well said!

A: Of course! Finally, whether you can be a teacher depends on the approval of the school leaders!

B: That was close!

A: Actually, you may not know me very well. I am indifferent to fame and fortune and have made my position clear to the school leaders many times.

What do you say?

A: Gold and silver cups are not as good as the reputation of the students; The first prize and the second prize are not as good as the praise of the school leaders; Pig hands and chicken hands are not as good as classmates clapping; Bear's paw and goose's paw are not as good as supporters! thank you

Oh! Bad language is not bad! That makes sense! It's coming!

Narrator: The campus "comedian" award is coming, and the campus "comedian" award is coming!

A: Brother Qun, please hold on!

B: Here we go! Let me read it to you!

A: Sorry!

B: The order of awarding prizes for "comedians" on campus.

A: Let everyone laugh!

B: The "comedians" on campus play an exemplary role everywhere.

A: I deserve it!

B: Good at uniting classmates and helping others.

A: I am used to it!

B: I always work hard and complain, and I don't do my job.

A: It's all mastered by the school leaders!

B: After research, we decided to award Wang Qun the honorary title of "Campus comedian"!

A: (fainting)!

B: Alas! Alas! Leaves! Wake up! I didn't do anything for an ambulance! Call an ambulance!

Why did you call an ambulance?

B: Help others!

Save who?

B: Alas! Didn't you just faint?

You want me to die!

Not that, not that!

A: Wang Qun! Brother Shi! I can't see it! (loudly)!

B: Ye Ye, you may have misunderstood.

A: I have no misunderstanding. Congratulations!

B: Ugh!

A: Congratulations!

Thank you!

A: I'll hit you with a brick! How heartbreaking! Dear audience friends, my performance ended today for my own reasons. Goodbye!

B: Leaves!

Do not touch me. Why did you touch me? Look, everyone, the campus comedian hit someone on the stage!

Why did I touch you?

Why did you touch me?

We must finish the cross talk!

A: Sorry, you have been rated as a "comedian" on campus. Now you are qualified to tell everyone!

What about you?

A: I am nothing now, not only I want to go down, the host, the lighting speaker, let's get off work together.

What do you mean after work?

A: From now on, shall we let Wang Qun, the "comedian" of West University, play on the stage all night alone? Thank you for your understanding, goodbye!

B: Stop there!

A: I can't stand it!

How dare you! I just don't comment on campus "comedians"! Just now I kept saying that my classmates are your parents, oh! If you don't judge the campus "comedian", you won't recognize your parents! You are too narrow-minded. Come and make a present for your parents. Hurry up!

A: Sorry, parents!

B: Alas! That's right!

A: I was not normal just now!

B: Huh?

I just lost my temper!

You frightened the life out of me.

A: All right! For the sake of friends, I will accompany you Wang Qun to finish this crosstalk.

B: That's right!

A: After that, let's go our separate ways!

B: OK, OK, OK! No problem!

A: OK!

B: Yes!

A: Go ahead!

B: What do you mean? I'll tell you! Let's talk about this crosstalk first.

A: Yes, I said it first!

B: That's right!

A: Since you are a "comedian", please speak first.

B: Does it go with a comedian?

A: Of course, it is clearly written on your certificate. Does this classmate set an example everywhere? If you don't take the lead, shall I speak first? Say!

B: I'll go first. Let me talk about it first. Good evening, dear friends. Today! The two of us will tell you a cross talk; Alas! Oh! This cross talk is a joke; This joke has to be told by two people; He can't keep saying, you are a goat horn!

A: What's the matter now? This won't let you set an example!

I have a head. It's your turn to speak.

A: Oh! You have finished combing your hair. I'm sorry. Please speak my words, too!

B: What should I say?

A: Of course! It is clearly written in your certificate that the student has been working hard and hard. No matter who you are talking about, come on friends, let's applaud him for saying a cross talk alone! thank you

B: I don't know!

A: The applause there is not warm enough! Let's get together here! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

B: Listen! You get down, you get down, or it will be too late.

What do you mean?

It's better to have you around than not to have you. Who is this?

A: You told me to go down!

B: Leave early.

A: Don't regret it!

B: I won't regret it!

A: Just go down!

B: I want to be a comedian for this!

What's the big deal! Just go down. I'll sit here.

B: Good! All right! Then I'll tell you about this phonograph in a down-to-earth way. Let's guess a puzzle for everyone first!

A: Sister Liu! Sister Liu! Ha ha ha ha! Sister Liu, you're here. The one next to you must be your boyfriend! Ah! It's your father No wonder age and looks don't match. Say it! Come on, let's clap and let him go on!

Thank you! Thank you, I will continue! Say this when setting off fireworks!

A: Sister Wang!

B: Say fireworks!

A: Sister Wang!

B: There are fireworks here!

A: Sister Wang!

Go find your sister Wang.

I made a mistake!

B: Cough! You are wicked, not wicked! I'll go on!

A: Miss Zhao! Teacher Zhao! .

You have so many acquaintances.

A: What's the matter? You say your cross talk, I say hello, rule out Jianghu.

B: I can't speak if you keep saying hello!

That's none of my business! Who asked you to be a comedian? I won't lie to you! Teacher Zhao!

I beg you, can you come up?

A: Hum! You tell me to go down, I will go down, you tell me to come up, I will come up again.

B: That's right!

Am I the elevator?

What's with the elevator?

I just found out today that sitting here is much more comfortable than standing on it. Let me applaud you here. Thank you. Did you see that? My parents let me work here. I am very filial.

B: OK, OK! Okay, one thing. You can't say hello to acquaintances. All right!

A: No!

B: OK! Then I'll officially start talking! Tell me why you can't shoot stars when you set off fireworks. I don't know

A: Yes! Because! The stars will twinkle! How can such a person be rated as a "laughing star" on campus! Really! Strange!

B: That's it! That's it! Let me guess a riddle for you, saying that it is a dog from a distance and a dog from a distance. Hit it, it won't move, scold it, and leave as soon as you pull it.

A: Dead dog, who knows.

B: From a distance, it's an electric fan. From a close look, it's an electric fan. The electric fan just doesn't turn.

A: There is no electricity!

B: From a distance, it's an electric fan. From a close look, it's an electric fan. The electric fan just doesn't turn.

A: Broken fan!

B: I can't say that! This article is transferred from:/sketch script, love knowledge,

A: You can't say, who made you a good comedian? You deserve it!

I'm telling you, Ye Zi, is this the quality of a "comedian" in the School of Finance? Is this the "laughing star" skill of the Finance Institute?

What did you say?/Sorry? This is a blatant provocation! You don't look at what website you are standing on. Don't you dare run wild in our finance college. The friends present were very angry, and the consequences were very serious. Tell you that you can't take care of yourself in life, and we don't bear legal responsibility!

How dare you! Want to hit someone! I've practiced!

A: It's called "Laughing Star", and no one can stop it!

Oh! So, how about we seriously perform a small double reed today! As long as you can cooperate well and make your friends happy, I will give you the campus "laughing star".

What did you say?/Sorry?

B: As long as you cooperate well and make the friends present happy, I will give you the title of "laughing star" on campus.

A: That's what you said! Friends who are doing it give me a proof!

B: No problem! All right, bring up the props! I'll go backstage to make up first!

A: Brother Shi said such a thing. He is unlucky. I am a person who bears a grudge against evil. I'll let my brother walk in and climb out! Brother Shi! Are you ready?

B: All right! Let's get started! I'm in front!

A: I'll say it later!

B: Hurry up, hurry up!

A: (at first, knocking on the board) Look, when he knocks on a small piece of wood here, it's a start. My brother must listen to me. He has to learn everything I say. If I don't tell him, he won't learn. If I don't let him move, he can't move. You see, what a great effort it is, you know! Me! Go to Guangdong to do something first! Let's talk about it when we come back!

B: Come back! Why go!

A: Go to Guangdong to do something!

Can I stand it? You go to Guangdong, and I'll squat here!

Let's hurry!

B: Hurry up!

A: # RMB% ...-*!

B: Stop! Stop. I'm choking!

A: Brother Shi! I thought you told me to speak quickly!

B: Then you have to make it clear!

A: Oh! You have to make it clear!

B: Nonsense!

Why don't I sing a nursery rhyme? How about it!