What kind of mother-in-law relationship is the most difficult to improve? Since ancient times, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most complicated. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will directly affect the harmony of marriage and family. If the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not always quarreling, what kind of relationship is the most difficult to improve? Please continue reading!
What is the hardest way to improve the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?
Miss Zhang, 25 years old, an employee of a public institution, just got married. She told reporters, "As soon as I heard the telephone ring or doorbell ring, my hair stood on end, which was caused by my mother-in-law's excessive concern. On my wedding night, my mother-in-law gave me an unexpected gift. At 9 o'clock in the evening, the telephone ring was particularly harsh. My mother-in-law told us to turn off the water, electricity and gas and not to sleep too late. " What's even more ridiculous is that since then, my mother-in-law has called almost twice a day to remind me what to wear in the morning and let me tuck in at night. "Ms. Wang said," I have been married for two years, and my mother-in-law comes to help us clean up almost every day. I feel physically liberated, but mentally locked! "As for the practice of daughter-in-law not having children, it may even activate her mother-in-law's chatterbox, which is irresponsible in her mother-in-law's eyes!
In the face of her daughter-in-law's complaint, her mother-in-law also poured out her difficulties. "I want to ignore it, but they are not reassuring! There are dirty clothes all over the floor. I won't wash my socks until I put them on. I put the used bowl on the long hair and don't brush it ... A good home is like a pigsty! " Aunt Zhang, who has been a mother-in-law for two years, said: "What makes people laugh and cry is that my daughter-in-law doesn't brush her teeth every morning, and often leaves stains like toothpaste. I told her, she is not angry or angry, just don't change her bad habits! In the end, I had no choice but to brush her teeth every day. Besides, my daughter-in-law has never been into the kitchen so far, and she can't even make instant noodles! They say we don't have to worry about the elderly, but anyway.
Aunt Li is 56 years old and has been a mother-in-law for four years. She said: "It's not that mother-in-law loves to pay attention to her daughter-in-law, but that these young people are too delicate. Not only can't do housework, but even my son has to take me off work. Sometimes my son comes back late from overtime at night, and my old man goes downstairs to pick up his wife. Our daughter-in-law has been in the door for 4 years. No matter what time she gets off work at night, someone must pick her up when she gets home, otherwise she won't go upstairs. As soon as she says it, she will answer two words: fear! Honestly, who wants to interfere in their lives? But you said that Miss Jiao, who was afraid to go upstairs by herself, had obvious self-care ability. Not only that, she also spent money to scare people to death and bought a broken sweater, which actually cost more than 800 yuan.
Expert comment: Take a step back to ease the tension between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
The young couple are both only children, with poor living ability and can't do housework. Suddenly facing a family, most of them may not even go shopping, which will inevitably lead to the excessive participation of the mother-in-law, and will also produce a lot of friction. Almost all contradictions are concentrated between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law. From the unruly and willful only daughter at home to being a wife, it is usually manifested as being unable to live, and there are habits such as waste and luxury in life. At this time, their mother-in-law saw it in her eyes and kept it in her heart. After a long time, my mother-in-law will naturally complain. Therefore, only by taking a step back can both sides turn their enemies into friends.
The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have played tricks. Who will take care of Mom, Grandma and Prince?
It is difficult to get along without children, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is even more tense with children. The birth of the third generation of children often becomes a watershed in the deterioration of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. In order to take care of children, many young couples who live alone will live with their parents-in-law, and the hidden dangers of it running in the family will follow. Only-child couples have a strong sense of independence and advocate individuality, so it is difficult for their mother-in-law to accept the independent exercise and education of their grandchildren, which leads to disputes over their grandchildren's right to education. Zhao Nvshi, a 30-year-old clerk, has been married for four years. She said, "When I gave birth, I didn't know anything. I don't even know how to hold a baby. I don't know why my daughter has been crying. I think the sky is falling ... because of this, our daughter's nest moved from our own home to grandma's. It's almost three years. If I criticize my daughter, my mother-in-law's face will turn from sunny to cloudy immediately. I will leave it alone and let it go, because the child is still young. However, according to our colleagues who are also only children, their children are favored at home, and their mother-in-law is not allowed to arrange too many study tasks for them, just coaxing them to play poker all day. See the current situation of colleagues' homes and their own tomorrow. I'm really worried about what to do when the child grows up.
Facing the daughter-in-law's question, Aunt Li retorted: "After my little grandson was born, her daughter-in-law was killed by her bare hands. Helpless, I simply took over the management of my grandson. Just after the full moon, my daughter-in-law weaned her grandson and the child moved into my house completely. However, the child grows up day by day, and she wants to get the management back. She has a full schedule for her grandson who is less than 4 years old every day. Such a young child learns English, eloquence and swimming at night. At the worst time, I can't see my grandson for a week. Everyone thought that I could enjoy family happiness when I was old, but I couldn't see my grandson, and I didn't get any reward for my previous efforts. This sharp contrast makes my heart empty!
Expert comment: Advocate only children to educate their children with their own.
In the education of the third generation of children, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is even more acute. Most of the first generation of only children have received a considerable degree of education and have strong self-examination ability. They generally feel that the previous generation loved their education too much, paid too much attention to IQ education and neglected EQ education, and neglected the cultivation of self-reliance. Therefore, they may pay attention to their own growth experience, not only to raising, but also to the balanced development of IQ and EQ, and to the transmission and teaching of values, attitudes and social norms.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not a scourge. No matter what happens, there is no right or wrong, and there is no need to pursue right or wrong-if a mother-in-law can treat her daughter-in-law as her own daughter, she should not have the mentality of separating "other people's girls" from her children and get along with her; If a daughter-in-law takes care of her mother-in-law as her own mother, she should try her best to understand the old man's personality or other shortcomings. When you have a conflict with your mother-in-law, don't make the "low-level mistake" of "fighting for a husband". If a son can learn to "muddle along", he can solve the natural sensitive factor of "mother-in-law-daughter relationship" ...
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is probably not harmonious.
According to a recent report by Xinhua News Agency, a recent survey of thousands of households in Tianjin shows that 78% of married only-child families find the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law very difficult. Investigation and statistics show that spiritual support for the elderly, children's education, and differences in lifestyles and concepts between the two generations have become the three main reasons for the difficult relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in some one-child families. According to the news from Harbin Women's Federation, although there is no similar investigation in Harbin, there is obviously a similar situation.
"Mother-in-law, the whole family and." The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be said to be a traditional problem in the interpersonal relationship within China's family. With the first generation of only children born in the 1980s entering the peak period of getting married and forming small families, although the education level and quality of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are higher than before, and the proportion of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law living together is lower than before, there are still quite a few married only children who find the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law very difficult. In the case of low economic dependence and mutual respect between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, why does it still cause nearly 80% of "disharmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law"? In response to this problem, in recent years, the reporter visited all levels of women's federations, communities and other departments in Harbin, got in touch with the daughter-in-law and mother of the "only child", listened to their difficulties and helplessness, and further understood the psychological war between Princess Jiao and the "Empress Dowager". At the same time, the reporter interviewed Zhang Yibing, executive director of China Marriage and Family Research Association and researcher of Heilongjiang Marriage and Family Research Institute, on easing the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
How to improve the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
Both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should change their ideas. Don't sing with the old calendar. Science and technology are developing and the times are progressing.
As a mother-in-law, don't use traditional ideas to ask your daughter-in-law, let alone the so-called ten-year-old daughter-in-law, the so-called three obedience and four virtues, etc., and keep pace with the times.
As a daughter-in-law, you should know clearly that although her mother-in-law is also a mother, she can't be so willful in front of her own mother, because this mother is not her mother, and she is a mother because of the combination of you and your husband. Once this relationship breaks down, this mother doesn't exist.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should care about each other.
People's hearts are all fleshy, stones can cover up the heat, and even a cold heart will cover up the heat one day. Therefore, no matter who is in life, when encountering friction and quarrel, they should learn to care about others. Only in this way will our relationship not deteriorate or get closer.
Don't compare your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
There is a folk saying that people are more popular than others. Therefore, no matter which side you are on, don't have the psychology of keeping up with the joneses. Once the seeds of comparison germinate and take root, they will be out of control.
The so-called comparison is just to see the glamorous side of others. The hardships and pains behind glamour are unknown. Maybe while you envy others, others are envious of you. Just live your own life, and it is enough to make your life complete.
Both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should have a grateful heart.
Everyone knows that gratitude is always a pleasure. Therefore, in life, we should learn to be grateful, thank fate, thank fate for letting us walk together, get along under the same roof, and thank each other for giving us different experiences and understandings.
Only those who are grateful will have happiness in life, and will not be troubled by troubles, unwillingness and distractions, in order to live a happy, wonderful and high life.
Mother-in-law cares less and understands more.
As the saying goes, under the same roof, there are always some contradictions in life. Therefore, both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be less concerned, more understanding and more tolerant in life, so that their mood will be much better and the family atmosphere will be much more relaxed and happy. As the saying goes, everything is prosperous at home.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should respect each other and treat each other with courtesy.
No matter what your previous life was like, no matter what your previous life was like, since two strange women walked together because they loved the same man, it was fate, so we should cherish it, learn to respect each other and treat each other politely.