I think this book is suitable for everyone who wants to know how to love each other better. Its author is Gary, an American marriage and family counselor? Chapman. Five languages of love-creating perfect communication between the two sexes mainly teaches readers how to express love to their partners.

It believes that there are five basic languages of love:

1.？ Affirmative words (words of appreciation, thanks or encouragement);

2.？ Attentive moments (companionship+attention);

3.？ Gifts (homemade or purchased gifts);

4.？ The act of serving (doing things for your partner);

5.？ Physical contact (holding hands, kissing, hugging, making love).

The book believes that the reason why individuals feel unloved is probably because they and their partners misread each other's needs. Just as human beings speak different languages but have their own mother tongue, there is only one language of love that everyone can easily accept.

Therefore, you should understand your partner's mother tongue and your own mother tongue, express your love through this language, and let love live in the marriage relationship forever after the passionate period.

In my opinion, it is really a rare good book. It tells an important way for couples to communicate, with rigorous logic, simple explanation and easy to understand.

I extracted several important knowledge points from the book for readers' enjoyment. The reading version is from Five Languages of Love published by China Light Industry Press in 2006 (translated by Wang Yunliang);

First, let the box of love be filled forever.

In every child's heart, there is an "emotional box" waiting to be filled with love. When a child truly feels love, he will grow up normally. However, when the love box is empty, children will have problem behaviors. Children's problem behaviors are mostly due to their desire for empty boxes. Their problem behavior is a kind of wrong psychological compensation, because they can't feel love. They are looking for love in the wrong place and in the wrong way.

Feeling your spouse's love is the most basic need in your marriage wish. We all have a strong desire to be loved. Isolation destroys people's hearts; Therefore, isolation and detention are considered the most cruel punishments. The center of human existence is the desire to be close to others and to be loved; Marriage is to meet this demand for intimacy and love.

Knowing these five languages of love and learning to speak your spouse's main language of love may completely affect his or her behavior. When people's emotional love boxes are full, their behaviors will be different.

Second, people speak different languages of love.

Why do people who love each other misunderstand each other? Because people speak different languages of love. We are familiar with our mother tongue, but we are not very good at a second language or anything else.

Assuming that different people speak different languages, the efficiency of communication is very low. Even if we have to communicate with each other in clumsy ways, such as strokes, sketches and even performances, we don't necessarily know what each other is saying.

"Compared with your spouse's language, your language of expressing love may be as different as Chinese and English. No matter how hard you try to express yourself in English, if your spouse only knows Chinese, then you will never know how to love each other. ..... If we want to communicate love effectively, we must be willing to learn the main love language between spouses. "

Third, falling in love is not true love.

Infatuated love is doomed not to last long. But it gives us a sense of accomplishment: we no longer need to grow. On the contrary, we are at the peak of happiness in life, and our only wish is to stay there. But love is not true love.

"Finding a spouse is a natural behavior determined by genetic factors; In other words, it is the temporary love formed by the disintegration of self-boundaries. It is a stereotyped response of human beings to internal motivation and external sexual stimulation, which helps to enhance the possibility of sexual pairing and sexual connection, thus strengthening the survival of species. " (Dr. Bi Ke)

Under the influence of ecstasy, we can't take credit for our kindness and generosity. It is driven and carried by an instinctive force, which makes us go beyond the normal behavior mode. Once back to reality, this behavior pattern will disappear. The core of this book is reason, will and conscious love.

Four, the five languages of love

When love must become a reality in marriage, these language exercises are really secrets that couples can't help but know when they run a marriage.

For example, in the field of male-female communication, "behavior" is sometimes louder than "words". If we don't know how to say sweet words before marriage and turn sweet words into love actions after marriage, such love may soon collapse.