Marriage is the custom of Mosuo people in Yunnan Province. Except for a few people who get married or have husbands to increase the family working population, Mosuo people basically have no marriage system. Getting married is a way for like-minded men and women to get married from men to women, maintain their feelings and raise the next generation. Because the matriarchal society is dominated by women, all the children born are the children of the mother's family, and the biological father will openly hold a banquet at the full moon to admit his blood relationship and avoid incest with his father. Men call their mistresses "xia" and women call their boyfriends "cops".
Married men and women, the key factor to maintain the relationship is love, and there is no economic connection. Once they are found to have faded feelings or incompatible personalities, they can break off their relationship at any time. Therefore, their emotional freedom is purer than marriage, but it also makes the relationship between men and women more equal, unlike the extremely complicated economic and social networks in other ethnic marriages.
Walking marriage is an important part of matriarchal family. The "divorce" of adult men is a way to carry on the family line and reproduce offspring, but it is different from other ethnic couples who have lived together for many years. They get together at dusk, return to Chen Chong and leave at dusk. There are two ways for Mosuo people to get married: one is called "Azhu"; An alien marriage called "Axia". No matter what kind of marriage custom, an ancient ceremony is held, called "Tibetan Bala", which means: to worship the kitchen god, bodhisattva and ancestors. This ceremony is held in the woman's home, usually in the middle of the night. No guests, no gifts, no friends. This etiquette is that the man's family asks a witness to take the suitor to the woman's family. Of course, young men and women have already had feelings, without the words of matchmakers and the orders of their mothers and uncles. Their mothers and uncles also expressed their understanding and acquiescence before the ceremony. According to their own financial situation, the man's family puts gifts on the pot pile platform above the fireplace and the altar of the chapel according to the rules, bows to ancestors, pot piles, elders, mothers, uncles and sisters, and then accepts the blessings of elders and sisters. One gift is for the elders and the other is for the young and the old. Your sweetheart "xia" must massage the decorations and dress up from head to toe. The man will get a flower belt with Mosuo characteristics carefully woven by the woman with Mosuo linen. The woman's family will never apportion money to the man's family. They believe that love between men and women is equal and more important than anything else, and emotion is an important factor in Mosuo people's "leaving marriage". After the witness confessed to xia's mother and uncles, both men and women made it public. Xia's Wedding has no guests and no arrangements. This ancient custom is frugal and relaxed, and the whole ceremony can be completed in one hour.
Now let's talk about the settled marriage of "A Zhu". Young Mosuo men and women moved out from their respective families to live together after the "wedding ceremony", or the man lived in the woman's house, and some women lived in the man's house, but the latter two were rare. They lived together for many years and raised the next generation. This kind of engagement is called "A Zhu" engagement.
Xia's Wedding: Every time night falls quietly, all the adult men in this family go out. There are uncles, brothers and younger brothers who went to their "xia" home. Other sisters are waiting for their "Prince Charming" at home. They are very busy at night, especially when they are parents' mothers. They have to take care of their uncles and brothers, their old mothers, sisters and children, and also receive their own "Ah Zhu" (husband) for a tryst.
If we carefully observe the nightlife of Mosuo matriarchal family, it is not difficult to find some rules. For those men or guests who knock at the door outside, the old uncles will never open the door, nor will they ask who it is, nor will housewives pay attention to it. Only when you shout a few times outside the door, it means that you are a foreign guest, and the old people or children at home will open the door for you. There are many adult sisters at home, but there are also many "notes" for trysts, each with its own secret code and way of expressing affection. If it weren't for its own "a piece of paper", he wouldn't be allowed into his boudoir. Only when the code is right, the girl's boudoir door will be gently opened. In the mother's room of the big wooden pile bungalow, there are old, weak, women and children, and there is nothing in the yard.
Here, there is no "third party", there is no feudal rule of "parents' orders and matchmakers' words", and there is no such thing as marrying a chicken and following a dog. Men and women live in their own homes. You don't depend on me to raise them, and I don't depend on you to live. Men are everywhere in the world, and women in the "girl country" in the East are at my disposal. With these feelings, people suddenly realize why Mosuo people have no social problems such as divorce, widowhood, unattended children, property inheritance, street children and so on. They have their own sexual concepts and moral standards, which are completely different from ours. In their clan, most of "Asha" and "Azhu" respect each other and are responsible for each other, but they are not as clear as other nationalities. In the family structure and marriage reality of some villages and religions, this phenomenon exists to varying degrees. A man is neither a husband nor a father. They are responsible for their wives and children, and all of them are thrown into Lugu Lake. In life, men can leave whenever they want, and go back whenever they want, without doing anything. Once a girlfriend refuses to close the door, or a man likes the new and hates the old, the old feelings will disappear, leaving only the spring dream, which is also a mystery.
In their place, the sexual relationship between men and women has little to do with the economy, and the combination is free and voluntary. Divorce is even more without melon and kudzu, and there will be no disputes. Both men and women have the initiative, and society and family do not interfere. Even if there is a dispute, mother and uncle will handle it properly. Combination is not to make a living; Divorce will not endanger anyone's survival, and no matter how rich the economy is, it will not establish a reliable foundation for their integration. The reason why Mosuo's "xia" marriage is combined is combined, and the separation is separated. Emotion is the forerunner. Therefore, it is common for some Mosuo people to change "Asha" and "Azhu" before they have children, but they cannot change it easily after they have children. As night falls, at dusk, young women can't hold back their excitement, and many night messengers come and go in the morning. In their sexual world, unlike us ordinary people who think that every woman can love and every man can ask. Their courtship is carried out in productive labor, work and study, visiting relatives and friends, doing business and other activities. After getting to know each other and having a certain emotional foundation, exchange some gifts with each other, such as bracelets, necklaces, rings, watches, clothes, etc. These things are only the two of them. As the feelings between men and women gradually deepen, the more times they meet, some couples will be stable for life. If you are sweet-talking, dishonest, incompetent and idle for a long time, you will be disappointed when you go back to your parents' house. The fact that "going out to get married" is in the family structure of Mosuo people is unimaginable to contemporary people. The secret of free "walking marriage" is that mother and son have no worries. The matriarchal family is everyone's refuge. For adult men, "matriarchal family" is the best paradise for them to live, support the elderly and die. Men, of course. Why not? This is one of the reasons why their custom of "divorce" can continue today.
Mosuo boys and girls were raised by grandmothers, mothers, uncles and sisters in this matriarchal family. They have the virtues of collectivism and mutual respect and love. Children are taught from an early age to respect the old and love the young, obey their mothers and elders, distribute food and other things according to the needs of the younger generation, and do nothing immoral. These customs and moral standards left a deep impression on children. In recent years, although influenced by the outside world, Mo Junren's society is relatively stable relative to the outside world. According to my statistics, since the founding of New China, only 1 people in the natural villages above and below Lugu Lake have been re-educated through labor for three years. In these 50 years, only 1000 people in the whole administrative village have committed a misdemeanor, not a felony. Therefore, the thoughts of the younger generation can not be separated from the good education of the elders from an early age.
Whether it is the people's commune in the past, the production team now or the individual economy, the Mosuo people have retained the ancient form of "* * * farming and sharing food". This productive labor process provides opportunities for young men and women to get to know each other, and love is born in this soil. Their virtues of unity and mutual assistance, simplicity and generosity, enthusiasm and generosity have become common, sincere and touching, and enviable.
When boys and girls reach the age of 13, "matriarchal" families will hold "rite of passage" for them. Girls wear skirts and boys wear pants. This ceremony is very important for Mosuo people all their lives. The "rite of passage" is held on the first day of the Lunar New Year. When the rooster crowed for the first time, the mother woke the child to wash his face and comb his hair, and the fire in the woodpile fireplace was blazing. My uncles brought big "pig fat" meat and a bag of food, and my grandmother and mother brought New Pants and a new skirt to put on after praying in front of the pot pile.
Girls/kloc-wear braids before the age of 0/3, and then start to wear long braids. In the past, black yak tail hair was used, but now it is changed into black wool, woven with black silk into a big weak head, wrapped in a big bun and dressed like an adult woman. Mother asked the girl to stand next to the "Goddess Column" on the right side of the fireplace in the middle of the first room, took off her old gown, put on a black gold velvet or red gold velvet jacket with a gold edge on the right opening, a long pleated white or sky blue skirt, a wide embroidered red belt and a big braid with a red flower on her head. The white pleated long skirt, clothes and head worn by Mosuo girls are very beautiful.
For boys over 13 years old, his uncle took off his long cloth shirt, put on his short coat, wide-leg pants and tied on a colorful belt, just like an adult. Children who hold bar mitzvah ceremonies must step on the pork belly and the grain bag with one foot, indicating that they will have food and clothing in the future, accept the blessings of their mothers, elders, brothers and sisters, and salute the elders and the "pot pile stone". Then, adults will lead them to visit relatives and friends, accept congratulations and gifts from relatives and friends, and finally entertain them. Because of the geographical relationship, the "rite of passage" is different in some places, but it is still the same in general.
These ancient etiquette make boys and girls accept the first lesson of adult education, and then take a step in life, enter adolescence and become full members of matriarchal families. Girls learn the skills of financial management from their mothers, and boys learn the knowledge and skills that men should know from their uncles. These are direct experiences, which can be described as "teaching by example".
When a girl reaches the age of 13, her mothers will say, "The bird is out of the nest, and it's time to learn to fly by itself. Don't play with little dolls in the future. " At the age of seventeen or eighteen, their mother or grandmother would not allow them to sleep by the big fireplace in the big wooden bungalow, and asked them to live in the boudoir specially prepared for their daughters on the gatehouse. At that time, there will be young men staring at them all day, asking people or using various contacts to give gifts. In this country, girls will never please men. Men come to the door voluntarily. If a girl really likes you, she will give you a promise that you will go to her house to propose marriage, hold a "wedding" and make an appointment to meet secretly at night. As soon as you go, she will open the door for you, and it will last for a hundred years. From then on, their relationship became public and they stopped sneaking around. When you come, please sit next to the fireplace in the big bungalow of the wooden plank house. Mom will kill chickens and sheep for you to cook pork bellies, and uncles will pour you wine to drink. ...
On the third day of children's arrival in this world, it is necessary to wash their bodies. This is the so-called "playing three dynasties". My uncle named it and took it out to bask in the sun and take a walk in the yard. After the full moon, the child's "Ari" (meaning grandma) came to see the child with pork, sheep, chickens and children's daily necessities, and gifts for grandma, mother and uncle.
In their clan, "Ada" (father) believes that children should hold a ceremony: first respect their ancestors, and then invite neighbors and old mothers to dinner, so that villagers can know whose clan the doll belongs to, but they can't take the child away. The child is a member of this matriarchal clan family, and the man's family can never take the child away. By this time, some men will stay at the woman's house, but not for long. If you go to the woman's house, the status of the "husband" is very low, you have to be careful everywhere, behave everywhere, and behave everywhere to complete the tasks assigned by the housewife. Next to the fireplace in the living room of the wooden plank house, the "son-in-law" could only sit cross-legged in a lower position, and the housewife gave him a piece of food. If this "son-in-law" doesn't perform well in all aspects, he will return to his mother in despair. This is the whole process of "getting married". Nowadays, with the change of social structure, men and women working in state administrative organs are monogamous outside as workers and teachers, and some men and women in rural areas are monogamous, accounting for about 30%. Since liberation, various customs have been evolving.
The forms of human marriage and family have undergone a long change, from group marriage to consanguineous family to punaluan family, and then from pairing marriage to monogamy. Today, monogamy is widely practiced in all mankind, but in Lugu Lake, there is still a "little ah" marriage form with the characteristics of early ancient pairing marriage.
"Little" is a mutual name between men and women who are in love among the Mosuo people in Lugu Lake. It is also called "Xiao Bo" and "Little". The striking feature of marriage is that there is no marriage between intimate partners. Whether men or women, or belong to family of origin. The form of marriage is that the man visits the woman's house, stays, and returns to his home the next morning. Because marriage is realized by the man's "walking marriage", the locals also call this relationship "walking marriage". Children born by both parties belong to the woman. Mother's surname is adopted. Generally, men do not bear the responsibility of raising them. Men or women "show" more or less times. The relationship between the two sides is not fixed
This kind of marriage is not interfered and forced by parents and relatives, nor does it pay much attention to each other's family status, identity and status. Choose to pay more attention to family (men and women with maternal descent are forbidden to make friends) and value each other's personality, talent, looks, etc. Make friends with Axiu, respect the wishes of the woman to the maximum extent, and generally give up her love and hate. The relationship between Axiu and China is relatively free, and it is based on feelings. In the process of work, in festivals such as going over mountains and seas, in daily life and helping each other, or because of each other's hardworking and honest personality, or because of each other's handsome appearance and lively personality, you can express your desire to make friends with Axiu. Generally, the man gives the woman flowers, headscarves, clothes and other gifts, and if the other party is willing to accept them, the relationship can be established. If the woman is interested, she can also show it boldly, such as taking the initiative to "grab" a pen and a towel from the man; Or take the initiative to send his own embroidered belt and cooked food to the man; If the other party wants to, they can also establish a relationship. Another form is that when a man and a woman make friends with "Axiu", they should first ask someone to perform a procedure called "Sasoga" by the local people (meaning to exchange things). When a man takes a fancy to a woman, he should ask the matchmaker to bring a dress, belt, shoes, tea and other items to her home and explain his purpose to her mother. A mother should ask her daughter's opinion first. If her daughter agrees, she will immediately accept the gift and return a pair of linen trousers and a linen belt made by the woman herself. When a man crossing Sasaki visits Axiu for the first time, he must invite someone who asks for help or his close boyfriend, and bring tea and candy. At the same time, the tea and sugar brought by the man are distributed to every household in the village or only to their relatives, indicating that their daughter has "Axiu". When sleeping, the woman's mother or sister will send the man to the woman's bedroom-greenhouse. When a young man visits a young woman, he always avoids her uncle and brother in the initial stage. As time goes on, I can get up casually gradually. It is freer to establish "Axiu" relationship and more convenient to terminate it. After getting along for a period of time, both men and women can end this relationship if they feel estranged, indifferent or broken. Generally speaking, if the man doesn't want to maintain the "Axiu" relationship, he just needs to say "I won't come again" to the woman. Or if you don't visit the woman for a long time, the engagement will be dissolved by yourself. If the woman doesn't want to, you can tell the man "you don't want to come" in person, or when he visits, he is unwilling or refuses to enter the greenhouse, and the man is bored and wants to quit rationally. When making friends with "Axiu", men and women, if they know that the other person is looking for "Axiu", usually send a small bag wrapped in linen with charcoal, pepper and chicken feathers in it as a warning or parting. If the other party is willing to repent, they should apologize to the person who delivered the package, so that we can make up.
Many ethnic groups in the world are still in the primitive state, but today there is no special custom of "getting married". It is a world-class unsolved mystery why Mosuo people in Lugu Lake still get married. For this reason, scholars at home and abroad have carried out a lot of investigations and studies, and analyzed them by using various existing anthropological theories. However, the conclusion seems to be insufficient to solve this problem. Mr. Zhan Yongxu conducted the most detailed survey (1963, 1965 and 1976). He investigated the marital status of 964 women and 785 men (1740) in six towns along Lugu Lake and Pingba in Yongning. As a result, 65,438+0,285 people (730 women and 555 men) got married through Ashow, accounting for 73.5%. As for why Axiu's marriage can last for a long time, he thinks there are five reasons: first, the matriarchal society of Mosuo people has not completely disintegrated, and the external influence is still very weak; Second, social productive forces are backward, and individual private ownership has not yet formed, but it is dominated by family collective ownership; Third, women are still the main force to seek the means of subsistence; Fourth, blood relationship makes traditional ideas deeply rooted; Fifth, the upper toast is not against Axiu's marriage.
Although these statements have some truth, why is the external influence so weak on Mosuo matriarchal society? Why do many ethnic groups with lower productivity than Mosuo people have entered monogamy and Mosuo people still practice walking marriage? Why do most Mosuo people prefer marriage to other forms of marriage? These questions are still the mystery of Mosuo's marriage.
The Mosuo daughter raised by Lugu Lake is beautiful, strong, hardworking and kind, and deep in the ocean. They weave a girl's dream in their own greenhouse and realize her sincere love. They have no rules and regulations left by ancient sages, no loneliness, no lost troubles and sorrows. They don't want anything that doesn't belong to them; They will not be slaves of money, material and power; They work, live and fall in love in this magical land according to their simple nature and their inner guidance; Show your simplicity and nature to the maximum in the landscape of Mother Lake; Sing and dance in the biggest, warmest and most joyful celebration of Mosuo people-Zhuanshan Festival, and enjoy the sweetness of life.
At present, most human societies in the world choose monogamy. It is said that this is because after the emergence of private ownership, people must be clear about whose children the property is inherited for. This shows that monogamy can be abolished if there are no economic problems such as property inheritance, which is not a natural choice. Nowadays, monogamy is facing more and more problems, and the divorce rate in some countries is as high as 60%. Recently, a survey was conducted in the United States, and more than half of people advocated abolishing the marriage system. Some people even predict that marriage as an institution will cease to exist. Some experts predict that divorce will be the future marriage choice of many nationalities and countries.
Walking marriage is a marriage and family model based on feelings and aiming at sexual enjoyment. It can change sexual partners at will and have multiple lovers at the same time. It originated from matriarchal clan society, and still exists in Mosuo people in Lugu Lake of Lijiang, Yeche people in Honghe Hani people and Zaba people in Xianshui River Valley of Shangri-La.
This form of marriage is like this: the mother is the core of the family. After the girl 14 years old, the family will build a wedding room for her next to her ancestral home, and she can find a lover (local people call her "xia"). When a boy comes of age, he goes out to find a girl to marry. Their marriage is not that husband and wife live together, but that they have not formed a fixed partner. During the day, they eat and work in their mother's house. In the evening, the woman is waiting in her wedding room. The open window showed that she had no spouse that night. After the man has eaten at his mother's house, he can go to the woman he likes at will; A man goes to the window of the woman he likes and shows his love. If the woman also likes the man, she will open the door to let him in and close the window to let others see that she has a spouse that night. The child born lives with this woman.
This kind of marriage is very suitable for modern people. Overcome the disadvantages of traditional marriage, and there will be no aesthetic fatigue. During the day, they work and live in their mother's house; In the evening, they are together, enjoying the happiness of sex.
There will be no problem that some people cheat each other's house or money in the name of marriage. They are completely independent in wealth. It respects people's diverse choices. Every man is not required to go to a woman's house every night. He can choose the woman he likes. And women don't need to passively guard a man all their lives, and they don't need to endure domestic violence that insults men; She can choose the man she likes from the men who come to her window every night, either one she likes or another she likes. This also brings women full happiness of sex and love. If she is indifferent to sex, she can close the window and not let any man in. If she has a strong sexual desire, she can also choose a man with the same strong sexual desire, so as to achieve sexual harmony between the two sides and fully enjoy sexual pleasure. This kind of marriage requires not the chastity of one party, but the full enjoyment of sexual pleasure by both parties.
Of course, the development of everything has a gradual process. At present, we in Zouhun.com advocate this model: after marriage or love, men and women do not live together, but live separately, with their own economic sources, careers and independent living space. They usually talk on the phone and fall in love, but on weekends and holidays, they will get together and live their own romantic life. After the child is born, both parents will take care of it, but they must regularly deposit the child's living expenses and education expenses, and take time out to visit the child at any time. After middle-aged and elderly people, both sides are eager for stable love and stable family, so they will raise money to buy a house, and then live with their children and enjoy family happiness.
Walking marriage is a new marriage mode advocated by walking marriage. Com (zh77.cn), and you are also welcome to discuss and study.
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