"The world is thin, human feelings are evil, and it is easy to rain and send flowers at dusk."

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is an eternal problem.

Both Tang Wan, who is compassionate in Hairpin Phoenix, and Liu Lanzhi, who is proud of herself in Peacock Flying Southeast, are trapped in the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Is mother-in-law really that bad?

Actually, it is not. From the perspective of family right and wrong, there is no absolute right or wrong, and there is no absolute good or bad.

From the perspective of Lu Mu (Tang Wan's mother-in-law), she is not at fault, she just follows her own values.

Lu You took the imperial examination twice, but failed to become famous. After his failure, he married Tang Wan.

After marriage, I am addicted to my children's affection, my career is lazy, and I am eager to see my son Jackie Chan's land tour, and I am angry in my heart. Plus three years of marriage, Tang Wan failed to have children.

So, mother Lu hit Yuanyang with a stick and let the loving old couple fly away.

Mencius said: "There are three kinds of unfilial, and the last one is the biggest."

Confucius' Book of Rites Internal Rules says: "A son is extremely suitable for a wife, but his parents are unhappy."

Lu was born in a noble family and was the granddaughter of the Prime Minister of the Northern Song Dynasty. Her behavior, seemingly ruthless, was in line with the values and moral norms of the time.

Is Lu a bad mother-in-law? Let's just say she's stronger.

0 1. How to deal with a strong mother-in-law?

In the first season of "Grandma", Jimmy Lin's mother was equally strong. When the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along, her various behaviors make netizens vomit.

Now that the second season has begun, Zhang Duo's mother and Chen Songling's mother-in-law are also covered in slots, no less than Jimmy Lin's mother.

In fact, in real life, such a mother-in-law is not uncommon. So, how should we deal with such a strong mother-in-law?

Not long ago, I saw a post on the Internet:

"My mother-in-law is strong. Get the license first. I want to end my marriage. What should I do? "

Netizen Tang (pseudonym) and her boyfriend (pseudonym) have been in contact for two years, and their feelings are stable. Talking about marriage, she found that her mother-in-law was a very strong person.

Mother-in-law asked her to get the certificate first, and then do the bride price wedding.

At that time, your parents and Tang's mother-in-law met for the first time. At the dinner table, my mother-in-law didn't mention the engagement. After Tang's parents left, her mother-in-law took out an eleven thousand red envelope and gave it to her.

Mother-in-law said that the marriage was settled.

After all, Tang is still young and a little worldly. She doesn't know much about it. She received a red envelope at that time.

02. Daughter-in-law, get the certificate first, and then give the bride price.

When Tang came home, he told his parents about receiving red envelopes.

My parents were very angry when they found out. The man's parents, in their fifties and sixties, don't know anything about human manners? The engagement of children is a big event, so why not follow the local customs?

Moreover, since my mother-in-law has prepared a red envelope of 11 thousand, why didn't she say so beforehand? Why didn't you mention it when your parents were here?

Parents feel that their mother-in-law's behavior is disrespectful. Moreover, it is likely to be hidden, knowing that Tang is easy to control, and secretly married.

But my parents were angry and annoyed, and finally they forgot.

Soon after, my mother-in-law came to discuss the bride price.

Because the man's family just paid down a second-hand house last year, Tang's parents agreed to give 66 thousand bride price and 33 thousand gold jewelry according to the local minimum living standard.

At that time, my mother-in-law said that the wedding date would be National Day, and the bride price would be given in September 1.

However, at the end of July, her mother-in-law changed her mind and asked Tang He to get a marriage certificate first.

Tang He originally planned to go to the clinic on September 9, and then get married on National Day, but after being told by her mother-in-law, she changed her mind and must get the certificate in advance.

Because of the license, Tang He quarreled, took a firm attitude, and even said malicious words, and started the cold war.

Later, Tang did not wait for an apology, but her mother-in-law came forward to explain it to her. At this time, Tang Cai was somewhat awake.

She found that her mother-in-law turned out to be a strong person. From the initial engagement to the bride price and wedding date, the mother-in-law is in the lead.

To make matters worse, Yang Xia behaved like a "baby boy".

Next, my mother-in-law has been communicating with Tang.

I only accept your bride price of 66,000 yuan. Why did you change your mind temporarily?

In the process of communication, Tang found that her mother-in-law was not only strong, but also had many fallacies, one after another, which made her dumbfounded.

For example, Tang said, "The bride price of girls here is generally more than 100,000 yuan, but my parents consider it from your standpoint, so they accept 66,000 yuan as a bride price according to the minimum standard."

Mother-in-law said: "Gold is valuable, but bride price is priceless. Some people accept hundreds of thousands of bride price, while others don't accept a penny. This depends on fate, and everything else is secondary. "

Tang said: "It was originally agreed to give the bride price in September 1 and get the certificate on September 9. Why do you have to change your mind and get the license in advance? Moreover, Yang Xia said that I got married for the bride price, as if the bride price was given to me and I ran away. "

My mother-in-law said, "I don't know anything about people in their fifties. All over the country, they have to get a certificate before they get married. Do you know about illegal cohabitation? "

After chatting with her mother-in-law for a while, Tang felt that he wanted to break off his marriage more and more strongly. But at that time, it was still difficult for her to decide.

Tang's mother-in-law is undoubtedly a very strong person.

So, when we meet such a strong mother-in-law, how should we deal with it?

In fact, the best way to deal with a person like Tang who has not really become a mother-in-law is to stay away, especially when her boyfriend is still a "mother-in-law".

Otherwise, your later life will be miserable in the internal friction of marriage.

04. The best relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is that there is no relationship.

What should I do if I meet a strong mother-in-law after marriage?

In fact, the method is still the same. Try to stay away from it and never live together.

As psychologist Wu Di said: "The best relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is that there is no relationship."

If you have to live with your mother-in-law because of conditions.

Don't try to use your own strength against her strength, unless your own ability or the strength of your mother's family completely crushes her husband's family.

Otherwise, in our environment where straight men are everywhere and filial piety is particularly important, if you have a conflict with your mother-in-law, you will find that your husband's performance will not be much better than that of Lu You.

In most men's hearts, the love between husband and wife is absolutely not worth the kindness of raising blood thicker than water. Don't try to confront your mother-in-law, you are doomed to complete failure.

The best way is to keep a respectful distance from others.

Treat your mother-in-law as the boss of the company, while maintaining superficial respect, don't expect too much from her.

Writer Qilu once said: "Most mother-in-law relationships are acting."

In fact, there are not so many bad mothers-in-law, but everyone is used to seeing things from their own perspective.

If mother-in-law and daughter-in-law could do their roles well, put themselves in other's shoes and take care of each other, there would not be so many contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in this world.

May you and I have a harmonious relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.