A partial list of weddings recorded by Chen Bingtao's (pseudonym) family.
The bride price record of 654.38 million yuan paid by Chen Bingtao (pseudonym) to the woman.
Some villages in tangyin county put up slogans to publicize the new regulations.
"The whole family is finished, completely finished." The 67-year-old Chen Laohan looked sad and kept chanting. No one will understand the inner pain of him and his wife. The only son got married, and the stone that had been on his mind for a long time fell to the ground. The Spring Festival in the Year of the Rooster was supposed to be the happiest reunion moment for the whole family, but it turned out to be deserted.
All this made Chen Laohan and everyone unexpected. Chen Laohan is a simple and honest plowman. His village is located in the northern plain of Henan Province, about15km away from tangyin county City and 6km away from Fudao Town. Relying on a few acres of thin land and odd jobs in his spare time, he sent his three daughters to get married, but his 27-year-old son became a "big problem." Fortunately, I got married before the Spring Festival.
The county town bought a wedding room, and the bride price was 1 1, 000 yuan. In order to marry his son, Chen Laohan not only exhausted his family wealth, but also carried a debt of more than 200,000 yuan. But who would have thought that on the wedding night of a couple, after a fierce quarrel, the groom actually hit the bride's head with a hammer, causing her death, leaving incurable pain to the family and society.
Afterwards, I learned that the dispute between the two sides was actually the paid bride price of 1 1 10,000 yuan, which made people feel sad. In fact, for rural school-age youth in many places, more and more bride price is becoming their heaviest burden. "A son marries a daughter-in-law, and his parents peel off the skin", and the bride price of hundreds of thousands of dollars has cast a heavy shadow on the marriage that should be festive.
Then, why do sky-high bride prices appear frequently in many places? What is the impact on the families of school-age young people? How to break the dilemma of sky-high bride price? These questions deserve our deep thought. It is commendable that many places, such as Puyang Taiqian, Luoyang Luanchuan and Anyang Tangyin, have issued documents one after another, changing customs, bringing forth the new and giving the bride price a "guiding price", which is gratifying.
From Anyang, Henan
The tragic bloody case on the wedding night
After beginning of spring, when you look around, the fields are full of green wheat seedlings, which is a vibrant scene. At the head of a village in Fudao Town, tangyin county, men, women and children get together, or chat, or play chess or cards, and enjoy the wonderful Spring Festival in the Year of the Rooster.
The 67-year-old Chen Laohan walked past the villagers with his head down and sighed. Some villagers greeted him, and he responded politely and hurried over. "He is a simple and honest man. His son's marriage is a happy event. We also held a wedding reception. Who would have thought that such a big thing had happened at home? " A villager said.
Chen Laohan and his wife have four children under their knees, and all three daughters are married, leaving only the youngest "little pimple" Chen Bingtao (a pseudonym). A villager said that Chen Bingtao went out to work after graduating from junior high school. Because of his introverted personality, to be honest, there are some difficulties at home, and marrying a wife has become a "long-standing problem."
Seeing that the age is getting older, boys of the same age are married and have children. Chen Bingtao's parents are anxious. "Bing Tao works in Zhengzhou, engaged in electric welding, and his income is not high. He is rare in recent years. Every time he comes back from work, he often stays at home and may have a burden in his heart. " The villagers said that there are many older young people in the village. "There are no three bachelors who can't get a wife."
A month ago, under the arrangement of relatives and friends, Chen Bingtao held a wedding with great excitement and took his daughter-in-law home. "We are all happy for him. It' s almost the New Year, and it' s finally a big deal. " The villagers happily ate the wedding banquet and went back. Who would have thought that an explosive news came out that morning and shocked the neighbors, "The groom killed the bride with a hammer."
What happened that night? The incident occurred at about 0: 30 am on June 65438+1October1day. "At 9 o'clock on the wedding night, Bing Tao also drank wine with some friends. After the person left, he rested and we slept. " Chen Bingtao's relatives said, who would have thought that 1 in the morning, a tragedy happened in the new house, which surprised everyone.
"Bing Tao's wedding room has two rooms inside and outside, and the living room is outside. Although it was the wedding night, the woman did not let him into the bedroom, but stayed on the sofa for more than three hours. The two had a quarrel involving a bride price. " The relative said that there happened to be a hammer hanging on the photo frame on the ground. "Afterwards, he dialed 1 10 and 120. It happened on a big day, and everyone was very sad. Bing Tao's mother collapsed on the spot. After being taken away, Bing Tao also asked about the woman's injury. "
After the incident, tangyin county police quickly dispatched police to control the groom Chen Bingtao, whose confession had a dispute with the bride Li Xiaoxiao (a pseudonym) because of the bride price 1 10000 yuan. As for how the dispute turned into a bloody case, only he knows best.
In just two or three months, it cost 6.5438+0.8 million.
Afterwards, the groom's family learned that Li Xiaoxiao, the bride one year older than the groom, had been married many times. "To tell the truth, we don't know her. We just listened to the introduction of the matchmaker and were eager to get married, so we did it. "
The relative said that Chen Bingtao is of medium height and looks good, but due to the difficult conditions at home, he has no room and no car, and the conditions are not hard. I kissed it many times, but it didn't work out. "Two years ago, a girl suggested that she had a car at home. As soon as we thought it was for our own use, we gritted our teeth and bought a car for Bing Tao. Unfortunately, this marriage still failed. "
"After all, the income from farming is limited and I can only go out to work." Relatives said that Chen Bingtao was old and had accumulated some money. With the help of my parents and three sisters, I bought a second-hand house in tangyin county last summer, with a down payment of 1.6 million and a loan of nearly 200,000. "The money is made up of relatives and friends, and we have to pay the mortgage every month. Now there are holes everywhere. "
With a car and a house, Chen Bingtao is confident to find someone, and the matchmaker has come to see you. In June, 5438+last year 10, after giving money and cigarettes to a village matchmaker, the matchmaker introduced Chen Bingtao to Li Xiaoxiao who lives in a village in Tunzi Town, Xun County, Hebi City. "Although it is two counties, the distance between the two villages is not too far." So I said together.
"At that time, the bride price proposed by the woman's family was 1 1 10,000, which was really too high, but considering that the child is really not small, what should I do if I can't get married? We have to admit. " Chen Bingtao's relatives said that in the week after their first meeting, they raised 1 10000 yuan everywhere. "Relatives and neighbors heard that their children were married and didn't say anything. They were very helpful."
10 In late June, Chen Bingtao's family gave the woman Li Xiaoxiao10,000 yuan in cash in front of the matchmaker, and the rest10,000 yuan was credited to the woman's card through bank transfer. So the marriage is settled. After that, the two families walked around, giving out red envelopes and buying gifts, clothes, cosmetics and so on. , together with weddings, wedding banquets, etc. In just two or three months, a * * * spent 6.5438+0.8 million yuan.
"Look at this list. Every item is clear. Marrying a daughter-in-law is like peeling the skin, with a debt of 200,000 to 300,000, which is a great burden. " Chen Bingtao's relatives said that there was nothing they could do at this time, and it was worthwhile for the couple to live a good life. Unexpectedly, it was an empty joy. After Chen Bingtao was controlled, the bank staff rushed to the village to collect money because he failed to repay the mortgage on time. In desperation, his sister took some money to pay it back. His car was also driven away by his creditors. "My wife and I are sixty or seventy years old. We are ill and can't do anything more. We are counting on our son. As soon as he went in, the whole family was completely finished, and there was nothing to look forward to. " Chen Laohan said tearfully.
"If you don't earn enough bride price, you can only play bachelor."
"Some girls' families are very realistic. The man doesn't have a house or a car, so he can't earn enough money for the bride price and can't borrow it. He can only be a bachelor. "A villager in Fudao Town, tangyin county said that the poorer the countryside, the more expensive the bride price." Many parents of boys feel very headache when they mention it, and they really can't afford to marry. Many families are already poor, and the bride price is unbearable for the whole family. "
When visiting villages in northern Bao Zheng, such as Linzhou City, Neihuang County and Anyang County, media reporters in learned that before and after the Spring Festival, boys and girls who went out to work returned home in succession, which became a good opportunity for blind date. Many parents are busy getting engaged and working for school-age children. However, it was originally a happy event, but the bride price has become a "roadblock" and an unbearable and unspeakable pain.
Fan Dongqiang (pseudonym), a villager who lives in Longfeng Village, Beiguo Township, Anyang County, said that in nearby villages, the general bride price is around 80,000 yuan. "Peasant boys who don't go to school are generally engaged at the age of 16 and married at the age of 18. 20 years old is even older. If you don't get married, it's hard to find. " He said that the matchmaker was realistic and would ask if there was a room or a car. "If you are close to the county seat, you have to buy a house in the county seat. If you are far away, you must have a house of your own. "
He said that not long ago, a family got married in Lu Nan Village, Lucun Town, Anyang County, and the bride price money was given to the woman's family of 60,000 yuan. The engagement party set more than 30 tables and spent 10 thousand yuan. Before getting married, I paid more than 65,438+10,000 yuan to buy a car, and the bride price was given to the woman 65,438+10,000 yuan. "They spent 300,000 to 400,000 before and after their children got married."
Fan Dongqiang introduced that in many villages in the east of Anyang County, it takes all kinds of things to get married. "The woman see the man's parents, there will be a gift. It used to be very cheap, one percent, one thousandth at most. I can't do it now. How many times has the gift been turned over? This is one in a million. If you give less, the woman's family will not. " He said that boys are also particular about going to the woman's house, and they must bring "8", "8 pieces of white wine, 8 boxes of cigarettes, 8 boxes of walnut dew and 8 boxes of fruit as gifts. The truck will be full. "
"In our area, the engagement is generally 30,000, and this money cannot be counted in the bride price. In addition. " Fan Dongqiang said that it is not a small expense to walk back and forth during the holidays after engagement and before marriage. Before marriage, "three golds" must be possessed, that is, gold earrings, gold rings, gold necklaces and wedding photos. , there is no 200,000 to 300,000.
A villager nearby said that there was a girl in their village, 15 years old, but the wedding had already been held and she was married. "At the time of engagement, the man's family gave the woman 30,000 yuan, and the wedding bride price was 1.6 million, and then the young couple did things." They say that if you can't afford the bride price and have no house or car, it's hard to find someone. "There are more bachelors in their thirties and forties in the village."
Driving without a license went on a blind date and asked for a top package.
"Now Lucun, Wadian, Yonghe, Cuijiaqiao and other towns and villages in Anyang County require women to have a car before marriage. Parents will also accommodate their children. Before and after the engagement, many young people will choose to drive the new car they bought when they got married at home. However, because I am under 18 years old, I can't apply for a driver's license, so I have encountered many problems. " Cheng Tao, the squadron leader of the 1st Squadron of the Traffic Police Brigade of Anyang County Public Security Bureau, said that once a boy has a traffic accident, it is easy for him to have an accident because of driving without a license or drinking.
65438+1October 16, in a village in Beiguo Township, Anyang County, Wang Dongdong (a pseudonym), a boy, borrowed a car to go on a blind date. On the way back in the evening, I accidentally collided violently with another car, causing an old lady in the other car to die. Originally, the other car was mainly responsible, but because of his driving without a license, he asked his father for support after the accident and was arrested by the police. Therefore, Wang Dongdong became the main responsible person. "After consultation between the two sides, Wang Dongdong's father gave the family of the deceased nearly 200,000."
Cheng Tao said that the money was originally saved by Wang Dongdong's parents to prepare for their son's marriage. "Now everything has been lost to others, Wang Dongdong will be investigated for criminal responsibility. His parents were very depressed and burst into tears many times. "
Another case is similar. Introduction: At about 1 o'clock on the morning of June 9 last year, Cai, a 40-year-old male villager, claimed to be dazzled by the headlights of oncoming vehicles and accidentally crashed his car into a telephone pole on the roadside of Jin 'antou in Xincun. After careful investigation, the car body was seriously damaged and the driver was not injured. After discovering the clue, under the repeated questioning of the police, Cai began to look flustered, but always insisted that he drove into a telephone pole.
In the early morning of the same day, Cai's son, Cai Moumou, arrived, admitted the fact that he escaped without a license, and found his father's top bag. Cai admitted that he did not have a driver's license. On the evening of October 8th, 654381because of an appointment the next day, he invited his girlfriend and friends to celebrate in KTV. At about 23 o'clock, Cai Moumou drunk and drove his girlfriend and friends home. He didn't turn well at the southern end of the new village and ran into a roadside pole. Cai was given administrative punishment by the police for driving without a license.
"To marry a daughter-in-law for children, it is not necessarily a good thing for young people to buy a car at home. Driving without a license, drunk driving, ignoring traffic laws and regulations, seriously threatens the safety of life and property. What's more, after the accident, I was lucky enough to let my family and friends come to the top. " Cheng Tao said that they receive more than a dozen similar accidents every year, which is distressing.
Cheng Tao said that in many rural areas, because the "bride price" and vehicles are seriously beyond the economic scope of ordinary people, it has become a very heavy social problem, and many farmers have returned to poverty because of the bride price. "It is not uncommon for some families to buy a car with a loan before marriage and sell it because of the heavy burden after marriage. When buying a car, you must do what you can and don't become a burden at home. " He said.
"The wind of comparison has intensified the skyrocketing bride price."
Last year, the phenomenon of "colorful green", "motionless" and "three pounds and three ounces" circulated in the circle of WeChat friends, which was staggering. In many areas, it has become common for families to get married by borrowing money. "Now the wedding bride price is going up, and there is more than one, which really makes us want to cry." A villager said.
So, what is the reason behind the soaring bride price? What should I think of the bride price? On February 12, the media reporter interviewed Professor Yang of Henan University of Finance and Economics. He said that the increasingly high bride price has hollowed out the savings of many poor families for many years, and there is a jingle that expresses the dissatisfaction of many families: "I finally saved some money to marry a daughter-in-law. I spent hundreds of thousands at a time, it's hard to say that there are ups and downs. I don't know when the foreign debt will be paid off. "
He said that sky-high bride price is frequent in many places. One of the main reasons is the imbalance in rural areas, where long-standing preference for boys leads to more men than women. Under the competition, the price of bride price has been rising. The prevalence of comparison has also aggravated the skyrocketing bride price. The bride price was originally a marriage custom, but now it has changed. The level of bride price has become a better standard for girls, and even some parents regard it as a tool to collect money. At the same time, the relatively high divorce rate makes many people feel insecure about marriage and urges them to demand higher bride price. "Even if one day the marriage breaks down and you can't go on, it is at least a material compensation."
Yang said: "At present, the sky-high bride price has fallen into a strange circle, alienating the rural customs and eroding the original simple folk customs. It can be seen that many people are being pushed away by bad living habits and customs. They are both victims and perpetrators, and fall into a vicious circle. If you go to rural areas, especially poor rural areas, you will hear many voices, and many farmers want to change this bad custom. "
Introducing the "guiding price" to wage war on the sky-high bride price
"Many people know that the bride price is high, but people are like this. If we don't do this, we will lose face. Now there are rules, such as how much bride price and how many tables to attend. It saves a lot and new things are very simple. " Qin Laiqing, a villager in Dahuang Village, Han Zhuang Town, tangyin county, said that he had just finished his son's wedding, so it would be good to celebrate the happy event for everyone.
The regulation referred to by Qin Laiqing is the "Opinions on Promoting Changing Customs and Promoting Civilized New Style in the County" jointly issued by the Tangyin County Party Committee Office and the County Government Office on June 26, 65438. Li Guangfu, deputy director of the Civilization Office of tangyin county, told Bao Zheng that the purpose of this move is to resolutely curb the extravagant styles such as weddings, funerals, extravagance and waste, blindly comparing with others, change customs, advocate a new style of righteousness, be honest for the people, be honest for the village and be beautiful for the people, and guide the masses to gradually form * * * knowledge and turn it into conscious action.
The reporter saw that the document pointed out that it is necessary to implement the advocacy plan of "doing big things" and advocate the new trend of "not doing new weddings, simple funerals and other festive matters". The total amount of the wedding bride price shall not exceed 50,000 yuan, the number of vehicles for the wedding banquet shall not exceed 8, the number of people for the wedding banquet shall not exceed 120, and each bottle of wine shall not exceed 30 yuan.
Li Guangfu introduced that through the villagers' independent consultation, each village has formulated village rules and regulations, set up the Red and White Council, and elected party member, who is prestigious, fair and decent and enthusiastic in serving the masses, to give full play to their advantages of being familiar with people's feelings and guide the masses to consciously resist stereotypes and bad habits. At present, all 298 villages in the county have established red and white councils.
On February 8th, a typical case appeared in Peyo Village, Gu Ren Town, tangyin county. A few days ago, Zang's daughter got married and didn't ask the man for bride price money, car, house, etc. And she gave her daughter a dowry of 20 thousand yuan, and the marriage procedure was simple. The practice of Zang Ling's bride price to marry his daughter became a beautiful talk in the local area, and the town leaders awarded Zang a medal of "changing customs".
In fact, it's not just tangyin county that introduced the new regulations. On February 27th last year, at 65438+, Taiqian County of Puyang issued a document, which put forward clear requirements for the standards of weddings, funerals and weddings, required the total amount of gifts to be controlled within 60,000 yuan, and gave a "guide price", which made people applaud.