The son of a rich family went to take an exam, and his father gave him a test in advance. He got good grades and thought he would be admitted. Unexpectedly, there is no son's name on the list. Father hurried to the county magistrate for trial.

The magistrate turned to look at the scroll and saw a faint mist on it, but there were no words. As soon as dad got home, he scolded, "Why is your paper so ugly?" My son cried and said, "No one grinds ink for me in the examination room, so I have to dip my pen in water and write on the inkstone."

2, the old lady chanting Buddha

An old lady, with several beads in her hand, read Amitabha, Amitabha and shouted, "Han, Han, there are too many ants in the pot." I hate it. Please burn them with fire for me. " Then read: "Amitabha, Amitabha."

Then he shouted, "Han, Han, help me take the ash off the bottom of the pot, and don't use your own dustpan, because if it burns out, you can borrow it from your neighbor's house." Remember, remember. Amitabha, Amitabha. "

3. Never be a vegetarian

Monks visit people. When the master saw that he was a monk, he asked, "Master, do you drink?" The monk smiled and said, "Drink a little wine, but never be a vegetarian."

4. Except idiots

A man complained to the county magistrate, "I lost a hoe tomorrow, please ask my master to find it." The county magistrate asked, "you slave! I lost my hoe tomorrow. Why didn't you report it yesterday? " The beadle beside him couldn't help laughing. The magistrate immediately closed the case and said, "You must have stolen the hoe! What did you steal? " The deacon replied, "I want to get rid of that idiot."

The old man is very sad.

There was an old man with deep pockets and a full house of children and grandchildren. On the occasion of his centenary birthday, the house was crowded with birthday guests, but the old man was very unhappy. Everyone asked him, "You are so blessed, what are you worried about?" The old man replied, "I'm not worried about anything, but I'm worried that hundreds of thousands of people will come to congratulate me when I celebrate my 200th birthday. How can I remember them one by one? "

6. A buddy was eating in a restaurant last night and saw the waiter's sister playing WeChat. He silently picked up the phone and shook it. When he looked at the photo, the waitress's sister was really shocked. The elder brothers sent a message to the waiter's sister, saying: Hey! Miss, do you have a minute?

The waitress's sister will be right back: Yes, handsome boy! I'm bored and idle now! The buddy replied: Bring the fish head with chopped pepper that I ordered when you are free. I've been waiting for almost an hour.

7. When I was a child, I remember that on the first night of summer vacation, my homework was far from finished. So, I had a brainwave and deliberately instigated my brother to tear up his homework. I also pretended to be very sad and sat on the ground crying. My father was sad to see me. He stayed up all night until the next morning, and finally glued my summer homework again!