However, if this order is adjusted, will this day be happy? Twilight wants to say, please be careful!
Although there are indeed some relatives around Twilight who are married by the son, this kind of marriage has a premise, that is, being honest and loving each other. When an accident happens, both sides will consider each other and the future of the whole family.
If accidents turn into calculations, the future may not be as happy as you dream. You will step into the trap of others step by step, simply thinking that this is love!
Some people, in the name of love, will kidnap you emotionally and ask you to do one thing as best as he asks. This is love. As everyone knows, you are already a lamb to be slaughtered in his eyes.
A girl named Zichun posted on the Internet for help: After I got engaged, my boyfriend forced me to have a baby, and my parents advised me not to get pregnant. Who should I listen to?
The thing is, Zichun and her boyfriend were childhood friends in primary school. They broke contact in the middle of a few years, and then they met again. They collided with each other and confirmed their relationship.
Because both parents have dealt with each other in primary school, they still have a good impression on each other, so they are very satisfied with this fate. Zichun has been dating her boyfriend for more than a year, and the two families are engaged. At the request of the man's family, the wedding will be held one year later.
After the engagement, Zichun's mother specifically told her: "Be sure to take contraceptive measures before getting married, and don't get pregnant. You are a girl's family, you must cherish yourself and wait until you get married to think about pregnancy! " Zichun wrote it down and went back to the cabin she shared with her boyfriend.
During that time, Zichun sensed something was wrong. My boyfriend, who had nothing to say before, always said intentionally or unintentionally how much she liked children, how much she wanted a child of her own, and how much she wanted Zichun to get pregnant.
But Zichun refused, saying that she couldn't get pregnant until she got married, but her boyfriend said confidently, "We're all set. I want to have a baby now. When you are pregnant, we will get married right away! "
Zichun loves her boyfriend very much. In the face of her boyfriend's persuasion again and again, she was a little shaken, but she was worried that she would hurt her parents' hearts and didn't know what to do.
In this regard, the following netizens have a mirror in their hearts and are desperate to persuade girls to listen to their mothers. In this world, only mothers are the people who care about their daughters the most.
Many people are thinking, isn't the engagement already decided? Why can't it be considered marriage? Why can't you get pregnant and have children?
Twilight tells sisters here: Don't think that everything will be fine if you get engaged. There are many more things to get married than now!
Once when Twilight took her children to a small park to play, the small talk of two old ladies next to her caught Twilight's attention. It turns out that the son of one of the old ladies works in the provincial capital city and has just fallen in love with a local city girl.
Another old lady praised her: "You are so lucky! Your son has found a daughter-in-law in a big city, and you can enjoy it in the future! "
The old lady immediately changed her smug expression: "That's right! I have told my son to get the girl pregnant first so that she can't run away. Then I will ask for more dowry. Wouldn't it be easy if I wanted to live in that big city? "
Looking at their calculations, Bian Xiao felt queasy and immediately took the child away. I don't know which girl would be so unlucky to meet their family.
But now, after seeing the help post, I remembered the conversation between two old ladies. Bian Xiao wants to tell her sisters that all those who say that they are pregnant before marriage and get married after pregnancy have been planning for a long time!
0 1. I'm afraid you won't give birth.
It is true that some mother-in-law will worry about this, so the prospective daughter-in-law will get pregnant first, but this possibility is relatively small. After all, there is a pre-marital examination now, and any problems can be detected. There is no need to use pregnancy for testing.
02. Do you have the confidence to talk about bride price?
What is the most important step in getting married? A wedding present, house, car, etc. If the woman is not pregnant, it is up to her to decide how much bride price, house or car she wants. The man's family will be in a passive situation, taking care of a lot and taking care of everything.
However, if the woman is pregnant, her husband's family will definitely assume that the girl will not run away. The woman's parents are distressed by her daughter and generally do not have an abortion. Afraid of hurting the body, the husband's family will be unscrupulous.
At this time, the husband's family dragged on, and the woman's parents saw that their daughter's stomach was getting bigger and bigger, so they compromised. This is their trick.
Once, a girl asked me for help. She was pregnant for four months, but the man's family didn't want a penny of bride price, even the woman's parents didn't want to see her. For this reason, girls and boyfriends always quarrel.
Over time, my boyfriend began to turn his face: "Love to marry or not! You still want a bride price when you are pregnant? Don't want money, don't have children if you can't! "
The girl is anxious like a cat on hot bricks, running around and seeing that she is going to be pregnant. What should she do?
This will happen if you get pregnant before marriage. If you don't love yourself, you will be regarded as a soft persimmon by others.
03. The husband's family looks down on him.
Under normal circumstances, the daughter-in-law who has paid for marriage will be taken good care of before pregnancy, and she will do well in all aspects, because she is still counting on pregnancy and grandchildren.
However, once a girl gets pregnant before marriage, it's like rushing to post it backwards. If there is something wrong with the order, you will fall in price, be despised by your husband's family, and your position in his family will plummet.
A girl who is looked down upon by her husband's family will be more sad after marriage if she marries far away. Not only does she act coquettish in everything, but she also has no right to speak. When there is a contradiction, she will fall into a helpless situation, and there is no one behind you.
04. treat you as a fertility tool
Some may just want to have grandchildren early, so they try their best to have grandchildren first. In the eyes of such a husband, the son and grandson are family members, and the daughter-in-law is an outsider.
When your husband's family only regards you as a fertility tool, then you have no status at all, and the attitude of the man's family is afraid of a big change of 180 degrees. When it comes to the point where "the son and grandson stay and the daughter-in-law can change at will", you will have nothing.
05. Marriage protects us
Li Dan said such a sentence in "Seven Pa Shuo", which is very reasonable for Wei Guang: "I think marriage is a shell, and marriage should protect us, not us."
Why do you have to ask for the order of getting married first and then getting pregnant? Because women, whether pregnant or married, are the ones who lose more.
Women have to suffer from nausea caused by morning sickness, inability to eat normally, weight during pregnancy, food taboos, frequent urination and pudendal pain. , and have to endure the suffering of pregnancy in October.
It seemed simple to give birth, but it was also the time to die. Postpartum physical recovery, depression, serious lack of sleep, etc. It's a huge test for women.
Not to mention the post-natal figure distortion, the sequelae of moon sickness, the inability to go to work without income, and the bitterness of being forced to become a full-time wife, all of which need to be endured. This period is the most fragile and gradually powerful period for women.
Marriage is like an umbrella, covering women with a layer of armor, sheltering them from the wind and rain and escorting them. No matter what unexpected circumstances they encounter, everything makes sense.
Once you get pregnant before marriage, everything will become unreasonable. If you meet unreasonable mother-in-law and unreasonable husband again, life will be very sad.
Yi Shu once said: Love yourself, be calm, and then love others.
Don't think that if I give everything for him, he will be moved and love me more. Not really, girls! Only by loving yourself can you be free and lovely.
What's more, a person who really loves you, the most clear protection for you, is to give you a complete marriage. Since you want children, get married quickly. If you don't even want to give marriage, you just want to be empty-handed. Please let him leave productively.
So not only can't the child have it, but the boyfriend Twilight also suggests rethinking it.