As we all know, the bride price is an important part of marriage. In the process of talking about marriage, the most discussed part is the bride price, and the most concerned part is the bride price.
I often write something about bride price, and many readers will tell me that I am tired of reading it. To tell the truth, I have written enough and vomited, but I still can't help writing, because this is the most difficult and problematic part of marriage and the most concerned part of the public.
In fact, I have always felt that the public's attention to bride price is really exaggerated.
What is a bride price? To put it bluntly, it is a sum of money. What is the purpose of a man giving a woman a sum of money? It used to be a bride price, but now it is a bride price. What does this mean? Just a heart and a good color.
The bride price is not important, but it is also important. It is a good sign that China people pay attention to auspicious numbers. This is understandable, but there is really no need to care too much about the amount. It is enough to have a good plan and good luck for married life.
Say it's not important, and it's not important. No matter how important, can it be more important than marriage itself? Is there anything more important than whether the young couple are well? No matter how important the money is, it is not as important as "people" or "feelings".
But now there are some concepts that really give the bride price an indispensable and profound meaning.
For example, many people think that the bride price represents the decency of the husband's family to the bride's family, and also represents the decency of the man's family. It can be seen whether the man is sincere or not, and the real family background of the man can be understood through the bride price.
With the blessing of various complex meanings, the bride price has increasingly become the center of public discussion on marriage. Some people support it, some people oppose it, some people boo it and some people secretly profit from it. They just consider the problem from their own perspective. Once the two sides can't reach an understanding, the marriage may die.
Many young people have been in love hand in hand, but after chatting for a few days, they can't help it. They lost their relationship for several years because of a bride price. Think about it carefully, is it not worth the loss because of the small loss?
However, it is worth mentioning that in fact, many times, the bride price is not handled by young people at all, but by parents. Parents of both sides don't talk about feelings, only about material things. In this case, friction and incomprehension often occur. Although they are all for the children's marriage, sometimes talking about things without feelings becomes a pure exchange of interests.
This is a good attitude to do business, but it is really not good for marriage. Marriage with pure interests is a "sale". If you are divorced from your feelings, it will really become "marry anyone." What's the point?
People who have experienced it really need to listen to their opinions, but sometimes young people have to learn to make up their own minds.
If young people have no ideas, it is really miserable to be caught between their parents. Generally speaking, as long as the opinions of young people are unified, the contradiction of bride price will not be much greater. However, if young people have no clear opinions and are hesitant, the center has changed, and it is easy to "turn their faces" under the pressure of family, and their hearts are uneven, and most of them will not get married.
Since we want to get married and become husband and wife, we must understand a truth. Husband and wife, regardless of each other, are both honored and lost. Unity is husband and wife. If you really want to be together, then you must be firm inside. We should not only consider the gains and losses of interests from our own perspective, but also consider the future of * * *.
Look for each other, no matter what others say, you say: I think so, too. Then no one will force you to disagree This is true, but there are still many young people who don't understand.
If nothing else, you are the one who got married, you are the one who chose each other, and you are the one who got married. Since you have chosen the other person and married him, you believe that the other person must be a special existence for you, so in order to protect your lover and maintain your marriage, you should make up your mind at the most critical time.
No one can help you to be happy, only you can.
The problem of bride price is always encountered in marriage, and sometimes disputes are inevitable. Controversy is not terrible. I'm afraid the old people on both sides are strong, and the two young people are young and don't know what to do for themselves.
Zhao Shuai and his wife, Li Yue, encountered such a dilemma. Since they began to discuss marriage, the old people on both sides have been fighting over it. Two people are caught in the middle, like ants in a frying pan.
The feelings of the two people were originally mixed with honey, and their hearts were full of fantasies about marriage, which was suddenly shattered by the reality of the old people on both sides.
When it comes to bride price, if the two sides disagree, they can afford to quarrel. Li month looked at every meeting and discussion of the old people on both sides, and his heart was anxious and worried. Zhao Shuai was recognized in her heart, so she was worried that her parents were unhappy and delayed her marriage. She was even more worried that Zhao Shuai's parents would have problems with herself in the future, and she would have a hard time in her husband's family in the future.
Li month really had no choice but to make a phone call to her fiance Zhao Shuai: "What do you say? The old people on both sides of us won't let anyone, so let's get caught in the middle. This marriage can't be married! In fact, I have long recognized you in my heart, whether there is a bride price or not. "
In fact, Li Yue has considered this call, so she must give her fiance a reassurance and let him know what she thinks. Zhao Shuai Yue Zhao words very touched:
"I know your heart, and I will persuade my parents again, but you also know that our family really can't afford that much."
Li Yue was also worried: "I know, but you also know that my parents are very proud. When I ask about the bride price of those families in my hometown, I feel unbalanced. I feel that your family has given me less. Actually, my family gave me a lot of dowry. Why don't we borrow some money for the bride price? It is a big deal to take back my dowry. "
Zhao Shuai was very unhappy after listening to Li Yue's expedient measures. Zhao Shuai is an honest man: "This is just a lie. I don't want to do this, and I don't want to fill this big head. How much does your family want? Our family will try to accept it. This can't be done. Don't say it. "
Back home, Li Yue's parents put pressure on her daughter again: "Daughter, you have to listen to us. Now, you will degrade yourself and marry in the past. What good life can I have? Is there much bride price in our family? " The number of those people in my hometown is not more than ours.
You don't want to save face. Our family is proud. In the future, when we get old and go back to our hometown, we can't lift our heads. Would you be happy if someone poked your dad and me in the spine and said we were upside down? Don't let go, I don't expect you to talk, just listen! "
Hearing this, Li Yue couldn't refute. She had to go back to her room to rest and lie in bed, thinking about how difficult it was to get married and staying awake all night.
On the other hand, life in Zhao Shuai is not peaceful. The family sat in the living room for a family meeting, and the atmosphere was very depressing. Zhao Shuai's father spoke first: "I want to hear your opinion, your opinion, Li Yue's opinion."
Zhao Shuai replied, "Li Yue suggested to me today that our family should borrow money to make up the bride price and then use her dowry. I didn't agree, I can't do such a thing. "
Zhao Shuai's father nodded and said, "You did the right thing. If our family can't get it out, we will never cheat and make mistakes. If it is a small amount, forget it. This time, my in-laws directly overturned the bride price agreed before and made up so much. Even if we borrow it, our family can't afford it. "
Zhao Shuai's mother felt sorry for her son and bowed her head and said, "I'll give up this old face and borrow it from my relatives. Don't worry, son. Hey, what is this in-laws doing? "
Zhao Shuai knew that his parents had not slept well for several days for their marriage, and his face was full of worries. He lowered his head and made no answer.
The next day, the two sides met to discuss the bride price. Li Yue looked down and secretly observed Zhao Shuai's expression. She found that Zhao Shuai's face was very pale. At first glance, she didn't have a good rest. Li Yue felt more guilty. She secretly knows how embarrassed Zhao Shuai's family is now, but she is helpless. She dare not disobey her parents' orders.
Zhao Shuai's parents spoke first: "In-laws, our family has finally settled the bride price you want, which is enough to represent our sincerity. Don't worry, we will be good to Yue Yue. "
Li Yue's parents finally nodded, and the young couple breathed a sigh of relief. Out of the teahouse, off the old man on both sides, two people stayed. Recently, too many things have pulled the distance between them farther and farther.
Li Yue took Zhao Shuai's hand carefully and said, "Will you blame me for not speaking for you? Will your parents blame me? I am in trouble. I really can't talk. "
Zhao Shuai looked at Li Yue who was about to cry, sighed and replied helplessly, "I know, this is what your parents mean. It's hard for our family to get enough bride price this time. There is nothing wrong with the wedding. I really can't do anything. I really love you, but on your parents' side, I hope you can convince me. "
Li Yue knew the meaning of her fiance. For this time, she knew that it was completely ignored by her family, and suddenly increased the bride price, while she was kept in the dark.
On the wedding day, the two had already packed up their mood and swept away the haze of the bride price storm a few days ago. One was wearing a wedding dress and the other was wearing a suit. Li month happily sat on the bed, waiting for Zhao Shuai to come and meet her.
As a result, Zhao Shuai didn't come in, so he paid attention to good luck when he got married. It is not good to miss the auspicious time, and the time is getting closer and closer. Li Yue is a little nervous. Suddenly, Zhao Shuai pushed the door and asked Li Yue, "Your parents just asked me to add 50,000 bride price outside, saying that if you don't, I won't be able to receive you today. Do you know this? "
Li Yue's parents came in: "Don't ask my daughter, she doesn't know about it. Even if she does, she can't be the master. Daughter, don't talk Just now, a relative came into the meeting and caught us and asked. How many people say that our family has less bride price! You have humiliated us both. What in-laws are you looking for? You know you want to marry you because you take advantage of our family. No Without the bride price today, we won't get married. "
Li Yue panicked: "Mom and Dad, Zhao Shuai's invitation has been sent out. Today, not only our relatives came. How can you keep their house in order? Don't do this. I want to get married. Today is my big day. Don't say that. Don't give me a dowry Do it. I don't want a dowry, I will marry him! "
Hearing this, Li Yue's mother squeezed Zhao Yue's hand angrily: "Don't talk. Whether the dowry is given or not is our business. Do you mean save? " I'm not ashamed to speak for my husband's family before marriage. How can your father and I rely on you in the future? If you say one more word today, your father and I will not live. "
Yue Zhao stopped talking, and her heart was tangled. But in the face of her parents, she couldn't open her mouth. She could only acquiesce to their demands, and she didn't dare to look Zhao Shuai in the eye.
Zhao Shuai has been disheartened: "Is this your answer, Li Yue?"
Li month didn't speak, still didn't see him, Zhao Shuai repressed full of anger to Lin month's parents said:
"Fifty thousand yuan bride price, you have to give me time to raise. I'll call my parents and ask them to raise money. I'll pick up Yue Lin first. Are you all right? "
Lin Yue's parents knew that Zhao Shuai's family wouldn't compromise, and they agreed that it was a spit and a nail. Naturally, they agreed and happily sent their daughter out.
But even with honesty, no matter how clever a woman is, she can't cook without rice, and she can't do what she can't do. After sending Yue Lin to the hotel, Zhao Shuai's mother secretly found Zhao Shuai and shook her head helplessly. Zhao Shuai understood everything.
At the moment of the wedding reception, Li Yue's family suddenly began to panic. It was discovered that Zhao Shuai had been gone for a long time. Zhao Shuai disappeared before the wedding reception. He ran away in public in front of everyone, and everyone was in a hurry. YiWen Zhao's handsome parents don't know where his son has gone.
The groom disappeared, and the whole audience was in an uproar. Lin Yue called Zhao Shuai countless times and finally got through.
"Zhao Shuai, come back, I don't want the bride price. You take me away, just take me away. "
"Lin Yue, you married money, not me. After all, it is impossible for us. Since you acquiesced in your family's behavior, I won't marry you. Goodbye, I can't afford to hide. "
Lin Yue sat on the ground crying her eyes out, but her marriage was ruined by her. No matter how sad she is, it won't help. It was she who pushed happiness out of the door, and she drove away the man who loved her with her own attitude.
In fact, judging from this story, the man has done his utmost to forbear, but the woman is like a bottomless pit. Once others say a few more words and are psychologically unbalanced, the lion will open his mouth without thinking and ruin his daughter's happiness.
In fact, Li Yue's lack of self-determination was also the reason for the failure of this wedding. The first time she acquiesced that her parents had made unreasonable demands on the man, she had disappointed her fiance, and the cowardice at the second wedding had made her fiance collapse.
Such a woman is not that Zhao Shuai doesn't want to marry, but that she is afraid to marry. Faced with her parents' unreasonable demands, she didn't even have the courage to refuse.
In fact, Li Yue tried, but her parents easily persuaded her to shake her heart and succeeded, indicating that this is not the first time. Li Yuejia's situation has become a habit and normal. Li month can't compete after all.
But she really should think about whether unconditional obedience to her parents can really lead to happiness. If a person loses the courage to distinguish right from wrong, then she also loses the right to pursue happiness.
The experience of Li Yue and Zhao Shuai is really regrettable, but Li Yue is in such a family, so it may be a better choice for Zhao Shuai to give up.
Finally, it should be clear that the bride price is actually a part of our marriage culture for so many years. Don't care too much about quantity, the mind is the most important.
More humility, less comparison and more understanding can make each other less stressed. Appropriate pressure can play the role of touchstone, but the greater the pressure, the farther it may push the other party, and the loss will outweigh the gain.
It is more important to understand that marriage is your own, and you have the right to interfere and grab your own happiness. In the face of unreasonable conditions, no matter which side puts forward, you should refuse. The correct three views will lead you to happiness in life.