Idiot roommate asked me what was wrong. I was so painful that I pointed to my mouth and vomited some blood. ...
Idiot shouted: "Don't eat, the food is poisonous!" " "
2. My wife sat on my lap and said, "Am I heavy?" Me: "No feeling." The wife said happily, "It seems that I am really light." Me: "No, my legs are numb when you sit up."
3. Just arrived home, my wife whispered, "Are you tired when you come back?" Me: "A little tired." She asked again, "Are you hungry?" Me: "I'm starving!" The wife said softly, "Then take a rest and cook quickly!" " "
Don't be hot and cold to me, after all, I have poor resistance and I am prone to catch a cold.
When I met a bear in the forest, I immediately fell on the ground and pretended to be dead. The bear turned several times and was about to leave when the damn cell phone rang! I hung up the phone quickly and found the bear coming towards me again. I thought to myself: this is dead! I can't believe I hung up on my girlfriend!
6. Today in the nursing home
eight
Teenage uncle Liu and
seven
Uncle Wang, who is in his teens, got into a fight, everyone.
Seven hands
Pull them away and ask what happened. Uncle Wang said angrily, "I wanted to beat him as early as primary school, and now I can finally beat him!" " "
You know, no matter what troubles or difficulties you encounter, you should tell me as soon as possible, and I will praise you as soon as possible.
8. The goddess finally confessed to me: "Would you like to walk into the hall with me on your wedding day?" I nodded excitedly and I became the best man!
I just took a taxi home. A beggar greeted me and opened the door for me. Then he put the bowl in front of me and looked at his pleading eyes. I accepted the money.
A boy with Tenuto has had a crush on a girl for a long time. One day in the self-study class, the boy finally got up the courage to write a note to the girl, which read: In fact, I have been paying attention to you for a long time. After a while, the note came back, which read: Please don't tell the teacher, I promise I will never eat melon seeds in class again! "
1 1. Today, when my wife and I had a fierce argument, I was wondering why I should be as knowledgeable as a woman. Not to mention my own wife. I apologized to my wife at that time. My wife is very happy. After apologizing, her brother put down the knife and the family sat happily together, chatting and drinking tea.
12. Boyfriend: "Dear, I just heard a report that there is a car reversing on the expressway, so be careful!" "girlfriend:" one? I think there are more than a hundred cars!
Thirteen. I just bought a steamed stuffed bun, took a few bites and found that there was no stuffing in it. I asked my boss, "Why?" The boss said, "I haven't mastered the core technology yet."
14. Honey, you must believe me. I feel dizzy even by boat, not to mention having two feet on both sides.
Fifteen. evening
My Xiong Haizi is still doing homework at ten o'clock. I: It is too late. Write it tomorrow! Xiong Haizi: No! If my female classmate is delayed copying tomorrow, she won't like me.
16. I put the harsh words here. If anyone bothers me with my study again, I'll play with you.
Seventeen.
At the age of thirteen, on a boring late night, I was lonely at the bedside. Just two puffs, dad pushed the door and came in. I habitually sent one to my father. Father took it, and no one spoke. Quiet time passes slowly between father and son. Dad vomited a non-standard smoke turn, and then simply said, "Be patient when I hit you later, and don't disturb the neighbors."
Principal, I strongly demand that the math teacher in our class be dismissed. He always asks us how to do this problem and that problem. Since he knows nothing, what's the use of asking him?
19. The reason why you think people with fat faces are cute is because meat doesn't grow on their faces.
two
10. Go to my uncle's shop to help. If a guest checks out, give it to me.
140. The guest was very concerned and said, Little girl, look at the next hundred. Stop pretending. I took the money, looked at it carefully and made sure it was real money before I let him go. It took me a while to find someone else's money before I found those two.
20 yuan is fake. ...