Your handling of this problem is a bit inappropriate. First of all, it is ok for two families to eat together, but the specific issues cannot be discussed. Second, find a broker. Of course, the man has already found someone, and he will take a gift to the woman's house to negotiate specific matters. In case there are differences between the two sides. Third, as a man, you should not provide compensation for marriage. This is a voluntary act. In short, with the coordinator, everything is easy to solve!