Ah! It's hot in summer and sultry at night. It's a knot in my heart that you and I are separated on the big stage of Liu Laogen. The sun is shining tonight, oh, no, the stars are brilliant tonight, and the lights are shining tonight. This is the world of flowers, and this is the ocean of dance. Very good! Forgot the words ... the ocean! The vast sea of people, ordinary people, you and I are all looking for happy things. Your arrival will make the tent wall of Liu Laogen's big stage dusty, and your arrival will be as warm as going home. No, warm, warm. ..
Here, on behalf of our boss, I would like to express my deep sorrow-warm condolences to you, not the heat, all the proprietress and all the actors. -
Thank you for enjoying the performances of a bunch of mentally ill people with long endurance, compassionate eyes and compassion. The actors in our group are all mentally ill, but I am more normal than them, because I just finished taking medicine, ......................!
First of all, my new friends don't know me. Anyway, first of all, please allow me to introduce myself. I come from People's Republic of China (PRC). I am alone. I am a new student in Zhao Benshan. My name is Tian Wa. Tian is Tian Wa's field, and Wa is Tian Wa's. I am 23 years old. I belong to cows and bulls. My date of birth is 65438+September 20985. I am an undergraduate in primary school and have no education. I just went to school for two days and caught up with a big week. I can't speak any gorgeous language, but I can assure you that what I said in Turin made me open my mouth. I wish all the friends who applauded me tonight a long life! Steal the clock! It's never too late. Don't clap, I wish you play mahjong, forget to bring toilet paper when you go to the toilet, disconnect the internet, and get caught whoring.
Friends who applaud me, I will never forget you. I will never let you go like a ghost, just let you stay in my heart forever. I won't say anything, but don't look at me I know I'm a little surprised, right? Look at it. My mother studied me. Anyway, I look like this bear!
My master Zhao Benshan said, I sincerely thank every audience in Tianjin for coming to Liu Laogen's big stage. My master Zhao Benshan said, You are the Lord, God, Amen and Jesus, which is very important for us actors. We can make money if you don't come to see the duet, right ~! The clothes, trousers, trousers ends and socks we wear are all taken out of your pocket. As the saying goes, the mountain is not high, the fairy is in the spirit, the water is not deep and there is a dragon ... as long as there are not many viewers, just spend money and don't let in without buying a ticket. You are happy, our boss is happy, our boss is happy, the boss is happy, the boss is happy, the manager is happy, the manager is happy, and the actor has this (hand movement. With this, he can go out at night.
I won't say any more. Although I look sad, I am actually more talented. I am the best actor in our group. Don't look at my appearance. China has a saying: "It is not necessarily gold that shines, but the sea water is cold and salty." I am the most talented actor in our troupe, combining all kinds of arts. I don't just play saxophone and sing duets like them alone. I know everything. I will give you some stunts, acrobatics, ventriloquism, imitation shows, songs, sketches and musical instruments later. Anyway. I don't learn ventriloquism like Lausanne, where ventriloquism is very simple, and everyone can learn it like this: "(imitation),,,". Trombone, and drum set, drum set: (imitation). This thing is very simple. Just spit on Mike. I study ventriloquism I'm not bragging. I can't learn ventriloquism This is a bit contradictory, isn't it? I learn ventriloquism so vividly that you don't have to laugh, and I don't even have to learn anything. You can hear it as soon as you listen. It's so lifelike. Listen carefully: (learn ventriloquism, fart). Bullshit, hehe! This eldest brother can answer first, and the elder sister behind him is still covering her nose. It's okay. I put it in my mouth. I brushed my teeth. I use brand-name toothpaste. Did you watch TV? A foreign women advertises and takes out toothpaste. I also used Fuyanjie and toothpaste.
I hope my friends can watch that, martial arts, and I'll do somersaults for you. Flip. Look, flip. I'll give you a high-end one. Dare not bring a cuckold husband to Tianjin to mix. Thank you. I'll give it to anyone who wants to see the imitation show. > & gt
The couple in Northeast China turned over their funny lines, and they were invited by their parents because they quarreled with their English teacher. The head teacher scolded me, and my father slapped me when he got excited. I have never been beaten by my father since I was a child, but I have been fooled directly. After coming out of the office, my father said: Don't worry too much, then take the routine. . Me. . .
Two people switched lines. Xiao Shenyang Funny Couples Turn Classic Lines (Finishing the Lantern Festival)
Thank you!
Thank you all.
Thank you very much, good friends.
Thank you for your silence.-thank you.
It's done.
I just heard everything. You gave all the contestants a lot of applause.
By the time it's my turn, you have rested.
I don't want your applause.
Because clapping is very tiring
I won't be shameless like other contestants, I will applaud.
Because I am a person of status.
What does it mean to be a person of status?
It's someone with an ID card.
Those contestants were celebrities just now,
It's actually a personal name to come to me.
I am not a celebrity.
But neighboring countries
Like Malaysia, Thailand, Singapore and Russia.
I haven't even been there.
Because it's too difficult to see the countryside.
It's so cute.
Northeast dialect is ugly, which means ugly.
Although I am ugly now.
When I was a child, I was very good-looking.
My mother praised me.
Son, don't be angry all day.
Mom was willing to take you out to play when you were a child.
Mom hugged you and went for a walk in the park.
How many people around me ask:
sisters
Where did you get your monkey?
Let me tell you something.
I have a big heart.
They say so.
I'm not sad at all
When I am free, I like to go shopping.
I'll bang.
I want to spend this summer.
It's warm in summer.
I am willing to carry my small bag when I am free.
Shopping crackles.
Look at my little schoolbag.
Lu taimei is so beautiful.
God, it's so big.
A little unprofessional
I want to go to the night market.
There are so many people.
I just broke down.
I can bargain.
When it's okay
I just broke down.
If someone calls me, I won't look back.
I'm just browsing.
After that, I was still skipping.
That's naughty
I went to the night market that day.
I took a fancy to a dress.
I said, how much is this dress?
The waiter said 80
I asked: Do you sell it at 35?
He said: sell.
I said, no, let's go.
It may be annoying.
It's over. I am tired of walking. I'll sit next to you. Thank you for a moment.
There is an elder sister sitting next to me.
You are so beautiful.
Maybe you've met me.
Just ask me.
Oh, my God, my brother.
Are you from Nagata, Northeast China?
I said, what happened?
Oh, brother, I see you.
Why does it feel like the sea?
Look at me and praise me.
It's the first time I've been praised for growing so big.
My heart is always bright.
The sea is so vast and blue.
I said, what's the matter, sister?
Are you in love with me? Are you in love with me?
This sister always refuses to listen to others, which really makes people angry.
He said, don't get me wrong, I get seasick.
I feel sick at the sight of the sea.
Thanks to good friends.
My time is up.
I will spend this time with you.
It's Mr. Zhao Benshan's student
My motto is to follow someone else's path.
Let others have no way out.
My Chinese name is * * *
The English name is * * *
This is old-fashioned
My singing always smells like a duet.
Next, I will sing a song for you.
I don't know who I want to listen to.
I will give you the songs of the famous tenor Schwarzenegger.
It seems that he is not a singer.
I'm confused.
Hehe, play a song next.
Dao Lang's lover gave it to everyone.
Is the music ready?
music
You are my lover.
A woman like a rose
With your burning lips
Let me endless ecstasy in the middle of the night.
You are my lover.
As pure as white lotus.
With your weak body temperature
Heal the sentimental wound in my heart.
Lover lover
How could I forget?
Midnight sweet song
Lover lover
How could I forget?
Midnight intoxicating kiss
My dream lover
Can't forget the sweet kiss
Every emotional look
Let me melt in your infinite tenderness
You are my lover.
A woman like a rose
With your burning lips
Let me endless ecstasy in the middle of the night.
Lover lover
How could I forget?
Midnight sweet song
Lover lover
How could I forget?
Midnight intoxicating kiss
Pull ... pull ...
Pull ... (disease) begins ...
Pull ... pull ...
Pull ... come ... >>
They turn jokes and lines, and go to buy octopus balls with friends. He couldn't wait to put a whole one in his mouth.
When I got my share, I turned around and found that he was gone. I want to know.
After a while, he appeared beside me again. I asked him why he went.
He said, Shit, it's so hot that I can't bear to throw up. I ran for more than 50 meters with my mouth open before I swallowed it.
Label: Composition Classics Previous: Poems describing mountains and clouds and sentences describing mountains and clouds Next: Write a famous saying praising bamboo, please write a sentence praising grass.
The funny couple turned to the stage. Line A: I want to be a hooligan in the afterlife, and I can flirt with whoever I like!
B: I want to be a pervert in the afterlife and fuck whoever I want!
C: I want to be a condom in the afterlife. I can stick it in whoever I like!
Ding: I want to be a dog in my next life. I will let whoever I like sleep with my arms around me, willingly!
You want me to go, who the fuck doesn't want to go? Ah, it's also a folk culture. Why are there no such indecent lines in Huangmei Opera? Orthodox duets are not like this.
There is an urgent need for two people to become funny dialogue lines. The better, please, hurry up! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! 70 points Xiao Shenyang funny two-person turn classic lines (finishing the Lantern Festival party)
Thank you!
Thank you all.
Thank you very much, good friends.
Thank you for your silence.-thank you.
It's done.
I just heard everything. You gave all the contestants a lot of applause.
By the time it's my turn, you have rested.
I don't want your applause.
Because clapping is very tiring
I won't be shameless like other contestants, I will applaud.
Because I am a person of status.
What does it mean to be a person of status?
It's someone with an ID card.
Those contestants were celebrities just now,
It's actually a personal name to come to me.
I am not a celebrity.
But neighboring countries
Like Malaysia, Thailand, Singapore and Russia.
I haven't even been there.
Because it's too difficult to see the countryside.
It's so cute.
Northeast dialect is ugly, which means ugly.
Although I am ugly now.
When I was a child, I was very good-looking.
My mother praised me.
Son, don't be angry all day.
Mom was willing to take you out to play when you were a child.
Mom hugged you and went for a walk in the park.
How many people around me ask:
sisters
Where did you get your monkey?
Let me tell you something.
I have a big heart.
They say so.
I'm not sad at all
When I am free, I like to go shopping.
I'll bang.
I want to spend this summer.
It's warm in summer.
I am willing to carry my small bag when I am free.
Shopping crackles.
Look at my little schoolbag.
Lu taimei is so beautiful.
God, it's so big.
A little unprofessional
I want to go to the night market.
There are so many people.
I just broke down.
I can bargain.
When it's okay
I just broke down.
If someone calls me, I won't look back.
I'm just browsing.
After that, I was still skipping.
That's naughty
I went to the night market that day.
I took a fancy to a dress.
I said, how much is this dress?
The waiter said 80
I asked: Do you sell it at 35?
He said: sell.
I said, no, let's go.
It may be annoying.
It's over. I am tired of walking. I'll sit next to you. Thank you for a moment.
There is an elder sister sitting next to me.
You are so beautiful.
Maybe you've met me.
Just ask me.
Oh, my God, my brother.
Are you from Nagata, Northeast China?
I said, what happened?
Oh, brother, I see you.
Why does it feel like the sea?
Look at me and praise me.
It's the first time I've been praised for growing so big.
My heart is always bright.
The sea is so vast and blue.
I said, what's the matter, sister?
Are you in love with me? Are you in love with me?
This sister always refuses to listen to others, which really makes people angry.
He said, don't get me wrong, I get seasick.
I feel sick at the sight of the sea.
Thanks to good friends.
My time is up.
I will spend this time with you.
It's Mr. Zhao Benshan's student
My motto is to follow someone else's path.
Let others have no way out.
My Chinese name is * * *
The English name is * * *
This is old-fashioned
My singing always smells like a duet.
Next, I will sing a song for you.
I don't know who I want to listen to.
I will give you the songs of the famous tenor Schwarzenegger.
It seems that he is not a singer.
I'm confused.
Hehe, play a song next.
Dao Lang's lover gave it to everyone.
Is the music ready?
music
You are my lover.
A woman like a rose
With your burning lips
Let me endless ecstasy in the middle of the night.
You are my lover.
As pure as white lotus.
With your weak body temperature
Heal the sentimental wound in my heart.
Lover lover
How could I forget?
Midnight sweet song
Lover lover
How could I forget?
Midnight intoxicating kiss
My dream lover
Can't forget the sweet kiss
Every emotional look
Let me melt in your infinite tenderness
You are my lover.
A woman like a rose
With your burning lips
Let me endless ecstasy in the middle of the night.
Lover lover
How could I forget?
Midnight sweet song
Lover lover
How could I forget?
Midnight intoxicating kiss
Pull ... pull ...
Pull ... (disease) begins ...
Pull ... pull ...
Pull ... come ... >>
Teacher: I saw the board in front of your desk drop!
Xiao Ai: (looking at it) Ouch! have bad luck
The teacher confiscated Xiao Ai's roll paper, and Xiao Ai just wanted to get up and go.
Teacher: Sit down! Go out in an hour!
The teacher went to see Xiao Wu, who took the roll paper to the table and copied it.
Teacher: Come on, come on, stop pretending!
I despise you people who cheat with books most. You have no technical content at all.
How did you copy it? Like this? Like this?
Wu: Lower it! Lower it!
Teacher: (confiscating Xiao Wu's roll paper) You also sit and reflect. Why did you cheat with this book?
Xiao Wu: I don't want to take the book either! I can't play grass as well as her (Xiaoling)!
Xiaoling stared at Xiao Wu.
Teacher: That's right. Remember to mow the grass next time! I like this kind of hard-working child.
Teacher: Time is up! Hand in the papers.
Put away the roll paper.
Teacher: OK. Remember to take the advanced math exam this afternoon! (below)
Xiao Ai: Ah! Still taking the advanced math exam in the afternoon?
Xiaoling: Ah! ! Take the exam in the afternoon! (Picking up grass) What did you take just now?
Wu: Gao ... number? ! What kind of tree is that?
Three people: study how to mow the grass!
The teacher came in (all teachers can dress up alone).
Xiao Ai: Chinese teacher!
Teacher: Xiao Ai, how is your composition? (Roll paper to Xiao Ai)
Xiao Ai: What's the matter?
Teacher: You read it.
Xiao Ai: "My teacher", my teacher has an oval face ...
Teacher: Wait, (takes out a big sign that says claws) Are you a melon with a melon face? You wrote that my teacher has a claw face!
Xiao Ai: Teacher, paw face is also a face. Can't you make do with it?
Teacher: Keep reading.
Xiao Ai: My teacher is beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. ...
Teacher: Stop! You wrote so much. It's beautiful. Why? Just write it to the end!
Xiao Ai: Teacher, isn't the composition required to be no less than 500 words?
Teacher: So you are only * * beautiful?
Xiao Ai: Isn't it required to write true feelings? This is all my feelings!
Teacher: Hum, tell you, you are only 496 words!
Xiao Ai: Oh! Then add: how beautiful!
Teacher: Look at your translation of ancient Chinese. Touch the tree and die.
Xiao Ai: Find an old pagoda tree to hang yourself!
Teacher: Why is it an old pagoda tree? Look, you explain words, explain death, and you write death!
Xiao Ai: Oh, I want to write to death!
Teacher: (with a helpless face) You, you hung up again!
Xiao Ai: Give me another chance! I have rebuilt it five times!
Teacher: OK, I'll give you a chance. I've heard of pemphigus, and I'm comfortable with it, right? You can make sentences easily, and I'll give them to you when it's right!
Xiao Ai: Do you have any fish? ! Fish ... fish, fish swim in the water, and there are fish in the blade. ...
Teacher: (Laughter) Congratulations, you won-
Iverson: Have you passed?
Teacher: (it doesn't matter) the sixth chance to rebuild. (below)
Xiaoling and Xiaowu: Forget it. Come and study the grass with high number.
The teacher came in.
Xiao Wu: Philosophy teacher!
Teacher: Xiao Wu!
Wu: Yes!
Teacher: Look at your roll paper!
My question is: this is the question, please answer.
what did you say ?
Xiao Wu: This is the answer. Please give points ... Is there a mistake?
Teacher: Is this a question?
Teacher: You-OK, next,
Essay question: What is courage? Why didn't you answer it?
Xiao Wu: I answered!
Teacher: Just five words!
Wu: (reading) This is courage! That's right! Then I handed in my paper without answering the following questions. How well I explained my courage!
Teacher: You-you wait to hang up ... >>
Who knows the lines of two people in the northeast turning Tang priest across the river? After listening to these two lines, I feel extremely disgusting and have no common sense. Alas, poor.
Label: Composition Classics Previous: Poems describing mountains and clouds and sentences describing mountains and clouds Next: Write a famous saying praising bamboo, please write a sentence praising grass.