After ten years of marriage with his ex-wife, Xiao Man, Brother Wu felt that he was also a man responsible for his family. In the eyes of others, their life is so beautiful, a family of three, each with a stable income.
And all this, in the eyes of ordinary people, is just a self-righteous calm.
In marriage, you are not living in an empty shell. Everything that is suitable in the eyes of ordinary people is so naive and absurd. Alive, you are with someone, someone who can communicate with you. You are eager for this person to know you, and it is not so embarrassing to be with each other. But how many people are in marriage, you can't smell it, I don't ask, you are by my side, but you shut me out. I didn't cheat, but I can't communicate with you under the same roof where I have lived for ten years.
Is it indifference, isolation, or all the feelings that have disappeared without a trace, and there is no love at all?
We often say that after marriage, more people lose their love, and all love will die into affection in trivial life. Brother Wu said that what he was afraid of was not the lack of love, but the inability to communicate.
It is strange that men also need spiritual soul mates. When Xiao Man can't understand Brother Wu, Brother Wu Can can't understand Xiao Man. They tried to communicate many times, more than once, and finally all their patience ended in a quarrel.
After more than ten years of marriage and so many quarrels, I feel more and more that the other person is a stranger. In a room, it becomes boring!
Brother Wu is still cheating.
When your marriage is in a broken state, there is another person you need mentally, and marriage becomes an opportunity in a broken state.
It is absurd to say that people fall in love for the first time when they are middle-aged, married for more than ten years. I can talk to her very well. She can understand everything you say. Brother Wu said that he was being locked in a humble abode. He met the seaweed of his first love and unconsciously fell into the whirlpool of so-called "love".
The person who makes Brother Wu happy is not a pure and beautiful girl, but a mature woman of thirty years old with unique thoughts and ideas.
When the marriage breaks down, many women will fall into a state of blind obedience, wishing to compare all their advantages with San Xiao. "Don't you just don't like me this yellow-faced woman? As for her, she is young and beautiful. " They will be even more depressed when they find that her husband has found a woman who is a little old and not beautiful. "Why, everything is not as good as me, why did she choose her? You said it was no problem to find someone younger and more beautiful. Maybe I am so defeated, not as good as that old woman. " They forget that some men really want to talk to the right person. This fit is more spiritual than physical.
Brother Wu is such a person. The object of his infidelity is a 30-year-old woman who has a common name, Su Yun.
Su Yun was a little afraid of marriage and left unconsciously. As a single-parent family, she is not sure about her marriage. Why are you getting married? Married or divorced. In Su Yun's impression, parents are just that kind of people. Seemingly loving, loving in front of her to no good, haha, Su Yun is not a fool, true feelings and hypocrisy can still be distinguished.
If there were no love, the broken marriage would have broken up long ago. You think I am a child who knows nothing, but I don't know that broken marriage and love are the root of all evil.
Su Yun doesn't want to be a third party. She is very contemptuous. She refused Brother Wu again and again, but they still approached unconsciously.
"I didn't want to get married, this life. But I can't bear to share it with another woman. I can't do it. " Su Yun gave Wu Ge an ultimatum, either divorce or break up.
Brother Wu hesitated. Although he is not a good husband, he thinks he is a good father. He doesn't want his children to live in a broken family. A family should not have children, but should have a father and a mother. What if one side is missing?
What can I say if I'm not married? Marriage is a responsible man, not to mention a family.
For a long time after marriage, brother Wu experienced a kind of superficial happiness, but his heart was extremely embarrassed. He and his wife Xiaoman tried to play the role of a good parent in front of the children. You can close the door, laugh one second, and the next is the indifference and embarrassment of two people.
Brother Wu decided to divorce. He confessed to Xiaoman about him and Su Yun. Xiaoman is unusually calm. Ten years of marriage is very peaceful. The child belongs to Xiaoman, and the home of Angkor Ye is clean.
I thought I could feel happiness and freedom by solving a seemingly happy marriage. Who would have expected that when Wu Ge came out from the Civil Affairs Bureau and looked at the little barbarians and children who were far away, he felt that he had no home for an instant. No divorce, a family, a wife and children; But after the divorce, there was nothing. He has no unexpected surprises, but he is extremely decadent. He felt like a wayward, absurd, helpless and homeless child.
"Su Yun, am I wrong? For the first time, I found that I needed them, not that they needed me. This is not a divorce, I am still a father; But divorced, not even dad. " Brother Wu, a little decadent.
"Do you regret it? Still want to remarry. In fact, it doesn't matter to me whether you are divorced or not. " Su Yun responded.
"You are more guilty, a kind of guilt for children as a father. Children have no home, right? " Su Yun went on to say that Wu Ge was silent.
"Maybe you don't know, what children need is not self-righteous love, but that you really love each other. If this goes on without feelings and tortures each other, it will also torture children. Although the child is young, he can see better than anyone. I am a single-parent family, which is clearer than anyone. "
......
What China people are best at is to cover up their inner broken with superficial perfection. However, no one can lie forever without collapsing inside, and all people will be punished by inner guilt more or less, just for the length of time. You think you are good for your children, but in fact you know nothing about what is really good.
Brother Wu is divorced, but he feels guilty about his children and doesn't know what is really good for them. He and Su Yun are not married.
"We are not very confident, we can't manage a marriage well, and there is no need to start a broken marriage." They are like companions, spiritual soul mates.
If a marriage breaks down, should we continue to maintain a seemingly calm state of mind for our children?
Having children, two people who have broken up their marriage will be hesitant. Take the case of Bai Baihe some time ago as an example. She divorced Chen Yufan in 15, but maintained a superficial love. They are very good at acting. On the surface, they play the role of loving couples, but in essence they are divorced.
And this kind of self-righteousness is good for children, without exception, it will hurt children and leave a shadow of childhood. Not confident in love, not trusting in marriage.
Broken marriage and love are the root of all evil. Yang Liang said he shouldn't get married. Don't believe him. His parents divorced when he was ten years old, and he became the man who seemed to have a home but was homeless. On the surface, he has two homes, but he thinks it is a bottomless pit. His father's is not like home, and his mother's remarriage is even less like it. He rented an ordinary house in a strange city and felt at home alone for the first time.
If your marriage breaks down, don't love your children self-righteous and claim that you are doing it for their own good. Seemingly calm, but physically different.
If the marriage breaks down, think more about what went wrong. Love while walking, and never forget to communicate well at any time.
Marriage is a big proposition. Don't get married because you are old, and don't become blind because you meet love for a while. Love while walking, pay more attention to communication.
A thoughtful housewife. Wechat official account: Liming ID: yibao 8690