Influenced by Confucianism, Fengxian, the neighboring hometown of Confucius and Mencius, has a strong wind of respecting Confucius and worshipping Confucianism, and most of them are handed down from generation to generation with poems and books. Distinguish between the superior and the inferior, be orderly, pay attention to filial piety, courtesy, diligence, frugality and simplicity, which are the goals of family management, especially following etiquette. Mencius said: "There are three kinds of unfilial, and the last one is the biggest." He also said: "husbands are born to have a house for them to live in, and women are born to have a home for them to live in. Everyone has a parent's heart and will not wait for their parents' orders. The matchmaker's words, taking advantage of loopholes, can be seen from a glimpse. If you follow the wall, your parents will be mean. " Children abide by this principle. Therefore, marriage abides by "parents' orders and matchmakers' words" and inherits the "six rites" of ceremonial weddings. Marriage goes through six procedures. First, the man asked the matchmaker to propose to the woman with a simple gift. The second is to ask the name, ask the woman's name and date of birth. Third, Naji, after the woman promised, the man prepared a wedding gift. Fourth, levy, the man will prepare a gift for the woman to consolidate the marriage. The fifth is to invite and agree on the date of marriage. Sixth, the groom personally went to the woman's house to get married. The ritual system of the old marriage has always retained these cumbersome procedures. Now I will briefly introduce the customs and habits of ordinary people in Fengxian in the past marriage. The same is true of the old-fashioned marriage in Fengxian County.
1, annual life
In the past, the happiness and misfortune of young men and women were generally pinned on fate. When you are a teenager, parents should give their children a "year-old life", and marriage can only be said after the combination of years and lives.
If both men and women are interested in getting married, they should post in advance. "Geng" is the eight characters of a year, and the eight characters are the birthday of "year, month, day and hour"; "Cambodia" is a position. First, the man writes the name and year of the groom, seals it with red paper, and lets the matchmaker send it to the woman's house. After receiving the invitation, the woman knows the man's year. In order for men to understand women. The woman also filled in the eight characters of the year and returned them to the man so that he could understand her. Go back and forth between Cambodia and calculate whether the fate of men and women is the same. If they agree, they will continue to say that they can't get married without getting married.
Zodiac is determined according to the year of birth, namely, Rat, Ugly Cow, Silver Tiger, Hairy Rabbit, Chen Long, Four Shoots, Five Horses, Weiyang, Shenhou, You, Qianquan and Haizhu. Among the twelve zodiac signs, several zodiac signs are forbidden to get married, commonly known as "broken marriage". Its contents are as follows:
Since ancient times, white horses have been afraid of green cattle, and sheep and rats have rested when they meet; The snake sees the tiger as a knife, and the golden rooster sees the dog cry. The green dragon and jade rabbit don't meet, and the wild boar fears apes all his life.
The genus is consistent, and according to the five elements of men and women, they should be born together, rather than containing each other. The five elements are born together, that is, wood makes a fire, fire makes soil, soil makes gold, and gold makes water, aquatic wood. The five elements are born together, namely, Mutuke, Tukeshui, Shuihuoke, Huojinke and Jin Kemu. The fate of the five elements is determined by the heavenly stems in the year of birth, that is, the gold in the east, the gold in the west, the gold in the south, the water in the north and the Wuji soil in the center. For example, the man Jiazi was born in the year of wood, and the woman Chen Bing was born in the year of fire. Wood can make a fire, and five elements can get married; For example, a man was born in Chen Wunian, a native, and a woman was born in Yiyou. He was born in wood, and the five elements belong to each other. They are forbidden to get married.
In fact, no one can explain any scientific truth, and no one can play any role in this set. Now young men and women are freely combined, and no one knows whose age. Just want to be congenial, like-minded is a good couple, and no one says that age difference is a bad result. 2. Match making
In the past, marriage was the order of parents and the words of matchmakers. Pay attention to the door on the right; Officer to officer, rich to rich, hut to fence. Generally, when men and women reach their teens, they will start to promote the media. The matchmaker is a needle in a needle. Matchmakers usually ask their ages and zodiac signs first. If they are consistent, then they will talk about their family population, financial situation and appearance. The two sides will introduce each other one by one. One side usually takes dark photos and makes unannounced visits to the other side (as the old saying goes, "Men are not like women"), so men and women can't meet and talk. Both men and women don't know each other, so there is a saying: "Marry a chicken and fly with it, and marry a dog and follow it."
There are also some matchmakers who want to pay to hide the truth, and they are dissatisfied with the matchmaker after marriage. There used to be two kinds of matchmakers: one was a matchmaker who made money by matching other people's marriages. After the matchmaker said, both sides have to send a "thank you"; The other is that I have a good understanding of both men's and women's families and my own situation, and it is good to volunteer as an introducer. This kind of matchmaker will give a banquet to express his gratitude at the ceremony and marriage.
In addition to parents' orders and matchmakers' words of marriage, there are the following ways.
(1) Parents who are related are the masters, and they take their children to get married. According to the custom of Fengxian, most people marry their aunts and cousins, and few others are not peers.
(2) Finger-belly Marriage Because both parents have deep feelings, both mothers are pregnant, and it is said in person that if one party gives birth to a boy and the other party gives birth to a girl, they will get married. If both sides have boys or girls, they become brothers or sisters.
(3) I like being the parents of both parents. I usually get along with them and have close feelings. There is a man and a woman on both sides. In order to deepen feelings and become children's in-laws. 3. Chuanqi
The parents of both men and women announced this after the media expressed their consent to the marriage. The so-called membership means engagement, that is, after the exchange of membership, neither party can violate the engagement.
The way of transmission is that the man sends a red invitation to the woman. In it, it said: I sincerely beg Jin Nuo to follow the ice language. Next signature: the married silly brother nodded (the man called marriage and the woman called pro). Write on another page: ×× month every year. In the middle of the cover, the red stripe reads: Your Excellency, Dear Weng, the Great Virtue Hope. On the bottom edge of the two pages are written auspicious words, such as "happiness forever", "glory in the past" and "long life"
This person's "anger" is called, and the gas bearer will hold a banquet to entertain the matchmaker. The matchmaker will give Kay to the woman, and if the man gives the bride price to the woman, he will also give it to the matchmaker. When "Qi" comes to the woman's house, he also holds a banquet, but it is not as rich as the man's banquet (commonly known as the strong man and the weak woman). The woman should also write "Qi" and send it to the man's house. This is called "fu qi", and the format of fu qi is also eight characters, that is, obeying the orders in the station and answering the lingering sound. When signing, if the woman and the man are equal, just nod and call her "silly brother as soon as possible" ×××××, and the other styles are the same as those of the man. Step 4 set an auspicious day
If the man wants to set a deadline for marriage, he must first give the woman a life. According to the old custom, the time of death is on the second day of the second lunar month. Use a mahogany box (about 25 cm long, about 15 cm wide and about 12 cm high), put a piece of red paper in it, wrap it in a yellow bag, and tie two red straps at both ends, and find someone to carry it to the woman's house. If the woman agrees to get married, write the age and birthday on the red paper in the box, put it in the box and tie it with two red ribbons in the middle; If the woman disagrees with the wedding date, she will recite it as it is.
If the woman's life is coming, the man should look at the auspicious day according to the zodiac, birthday and date of both parties. First of all, he wants to see Ji Yue or Ji Yue for men and women in this year. Its contents are as follows:
We welcome chickens and rabbits in July, tigers and monkeys in February and August, snakes and pigs in March and September, dragons and dogs in April and 10, cattle and sheep in May, 1 1, June and March.
See which month to use, and then check the auspicious day. Auspicious days are determined according to twelve words in the old calendar (each day has a word to represent the day), namely, construction, danger, peace, fullness, success, unity, persistence, determination, opening, breaking, assembly and separation. The melody of the auspicious day of the zodiac is as follows:
Construction, Manchu, Pingan, Guanan and Hei (these four days are Mafia Day).
In addition, danger, determination, persistence, yellow; (These four days are ecliptic days)
Both success and openness are ok, (these two days are ok)
Closing and breaking are not equal. I'm taboo these two days, so I can't use it.
Choose an auspicious day of the zodiac, and after you get married, you should "check the Zhoutang in the jade sagger". "Zhou Tang" is arranged according to the eight diagrams: dry for Weng, Kan for brother, Geng for stove, Zhen for woman, Xun for kitchen, leaving for husband, Kun for aunt, and changing to Tang; This is a square map.
Choose the wedding date. If it is Ji Yue, it will be arranged in chronological order from "husband" and in reverse order from "woman". Use it in the case of "brother, hall, kitchen and stove", not in the case of "Weng and Gu", and you can use it without Weng and Gu. After the auspicious day of the ecliptic is selected, Yu Sagger records the appropriate place to get on the sedan chair, get off the sedan chair, take the account and which room to use. Welcome God of Wealth or Wisdom Fofo Agbo. Pay homage to the Chinese zodiac. Anyone who belongs to this zodiac sign should avoid the bride to avoid evil spirits and make money. Widows with four eyes (pregnant women) should also be avoided.
On the auspicious day of the wedding, the man wrote "Welcome to the wedding on ×× Day" with a red post, and stated the female direction ××× square crown belt and××× square sedan chair. After writing, send it to the woman's house every two months and two days, and handle it according to the recorded matters until the wedding day.
These superstitious habits of choosing auspicious days were basically abolished after liberation. National celebrations and festivals, such as May 1 day, July 1 day, August 1 day, National Day and New Year's Day, are often chosen as wedding days. Although it used to take a lot of complicated procedures to book an auspicious day of the zodiac, sometimes it was stormy, which made everyone miserable and complained, but it was also unlucky. Step 5 get married
Wedding couplets should be posted on the wedding day, all in the language of Geneva. For example, I am glad that there are three stars at home today to celebrate his prosperity in the fifth century. Three gifts in Qijiadian, classic in Er Nan ... Banners are: Yi Shi IKEA, Bell and Drum Combination, Heaven and Earth Combination ... HongLing is hung outside the door, which is an auspicious symbol of celebration. On the wedding day, relatives and friends come to congratulate and give gifts, some give money, some give gifts or tie the knot. Signing is generally the joy of your son's flowers and candles, and the next paragraph is generally "Congratulations to XX ................". The man went to the woman's house to get married, and the rich official used two red and green sedan chairs. The sedan chair is made of wood, about one and a half meters long, one meter wide and two meters high. It has a ridge top above, a flat bottom below, and sedan chairs on both sides, about four or five meters long. The red sedan chair is made of red cloth, the sedan chair is made of embroidered cloth and the green sedan chair is made of green cloth. The unicorn is on it, and the four ridges are arranged in eight immortals. The four corners are red hydrangeas, which are very beautiful. There are curtains in the car door, which will be closed when the bride gets on the bus. The sedan chair is carried by four people, two in front and two in the back. The day before, two people married in sedan chairs sat in a green sedan chair, with a flag gong and an umbrella fan, followed by a disguised policeman, wearing a red collar, a black and red whip, a pepper hat, a trumpet, and a band. Come back the next day with the bride in a red sedan chair.
Ordinary people are just a sedan chair with a loud horn, followed by two married women carrying jars and boxes, who sent a sedan chair to get married that day.
The poor married a woman and had no money to rent a sedan chair or find a buzzer, so they took a small dirt car or rode a donkey to their husband's house. There is a folk song in Fengxian county: a dirt car left the mother's house with a burden on its back; I haven't been in a sedan chair, and I haven't heard a Dangdang hammer (a percussion instrument that beats in loud music).
When a man gets married, he must worship the forest the day before, which means that future generations will not forget their ancestors.
When the woman gets married, she should cover her face with red gauze (commonly known as "hood red") and close the car door. This custom of covering your face and closing the door curtains has a long history. As far back as ancient times, when robbing a bride, cover the woman's face, close the car door, and lift it when people are unprepared. Later generations also used this custom to marry women. When a woman marries, she must accompany her guests, and the dowry she marries should also be sent to her husband's family. The amount of dowry depends on the difference between rich and poor. There are 138 Qiao Mu dowries of the rich old school. Ordinary people have a cupboard, and poor people's homes are just a wooden box or a burden. During the Republic of China, someone in Fengxian wrote a poem "Marry a Wife":
Just getting off from the west, the old mother sent her daughter to the hedge root;
Just because the family is poor, there is little makeup, and there is a cabinet of lamps and copper pots.
This poem describes the marriage of rural women.
When the bride arrives at her husband's house, she is called "receiving the bride" according to the old etiquette, commonly known as "receiving heaven and earth". After worshipping the heavens and the earth, I officially got married. When the sedan chair is parked in the courtyard, it should be placed in the direction of the sedan chair. The young woman welcomes the new mother out of the car door and calls it "closing the car". When receiving the sedan chair, you should follow the etiquette of receiving the sedan chair, walk back and forth, and then walk out of the sedan chair door. When visiting the hall, the square table was placed in the courtyard, with bronze mirrors on it, and scales were inserted in the dustpan to show that the heart was as bright as a mirror and the scales were fair. There is a reed mat on the ground. Middle-aged women who set up tents put it in a wooden riser with sawdust, bran, rice straw scraps or neem, and the riser is sealed with red paper. The tent spreader scattered debris on the bride and groom. Then open the masked red gauze to pay homage. Worship means that the bride and groom first bow down to the gods of heaven and earth and their parents, and then bow down to their relatives. Worshipped relatives should receive worship gifts. During the Republic of China, the amount of worship gifts generally ranged from 1000 to 5000. Some people will sing "XXX, pay a few gold respects" when they receive a gift of gold worship. In addition, when you bow down, you have to fire a gun and play music.
The gift giver should go to the gift room to get the gift list. In the early years of the Republic of China, it was generally 200 to 500 words, and later it increased to 1000 to 2000 words or 1 yuan. To War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression, during the liberation war, the currency was uncertain, and the gift money was determined according to the custom. Step 6 get married
"Wedding ceremony" is commonly known as drinking "heart-to-heart wine". After paying tribute to the bride, enter the new house and raise a glass of wine for the bride and groom to gargle with wine. Press "Li, faint Li" and "He Li". In ancient times, a ladle was divided into two scoops, which was called "ladle". The bride and groom each take a piece and gargle with wine, which is called "meow". A wedding present for the couple. Since the end of the Qing Dynasty, Fengxian has been singing: "The new wife touches it, and the new son-in-law is fierce." In fact, according to the ancient wedding, it is not drinking, but gargling with wine. Step 7 pay the bill
According to the direction stipulated in the old ceremony, the bride sits in the new house, which is called "sitting on the bill". When sitting on the bill, light a longevity lamp, which will last all night, symbolizing the auspicious omen of longevity. When the bride sits on the bill, it is the time when the new house is noisy, which often lasts until late at night. Therefore, middle-aged and elderly women often accompany the bride in the new house, and gently advise those who make trouble in the new house not to make too much trouble.
The next day, the bride will worship the old woman. Old-fashioned decadent marriage system in Fengxian County Among the old-fashioned marriage systems, there are several unreasonable decadent marriage systems. 1, get married
To marry a martyr is to marry a dead man. After the engagement was signed, the husband died, but the woman was still married and widowed for life. Getting married in the Republic of China is very rare. 2. Child brides
Child bride is commonly known as reunion daughter-in-law. This kind of marriage is mostly because the woman's family is poor and unable to support her, or the woman's family respects her relatives and dies early, so she is sent to Weng Gu's family to support her, and then the wedding will be held when she is an adult. A child bride is in her husband's family, and her mother-in-law usually looks down on her and is very harsh on her. Child brides are mentally humiliated and afraid of making mistakes in everything they say and do. You won't be free until you get married. Fengxian has a two-part allegorical saying, "Reunion daughter-in-law takes care of her brother-she will grow up!" This shows that the child bride is ashamed. Before liberation, there were many child brides in Fengxian county, and it was not until after liberation that this system was completely abolished. 3. Early marriage
Early marriage is early marriage, which not only harms physical and mental health, but also affects the next generation of children. Fengxian county has a folk song that is disproportionate to its age;
Being a big sister is only seventeen years old, and it will be twenty-one in four years;
Marrying a son-in-law is only ten years old, eleven years older than her husband;
Two people carry water south, one high and one low;
It's not up to my parents. You go east, I go west.
This folk song strongly reflects women's resistance to unreasonable marriage. 4. Buying and selling marriage in disguise
In the old society, some marriages were bought directly with money, and some were bought indirectly through matchmakers, who profited from them. As long as the man is willing to spend money, he can marry a beautiful wife. Sometimes, in order to pay the bride price, the woman often lowers the conditions for the man. Such marriages are often painful. This disguised buying and selling marriage has caused bad consequences to people. 5. Home exchange system
Poor families can't get married, so the matchmaker connects three families with brothers and sisters to get married and exchange betrothal. In a grinding way, men and women will exchange hands. This unreasonable marriage system is like drawing lots and leaving it to fate. Some people scold the matchmaker because they can't live together after marriage, but what is done is done and they have to follow it all their lives. Changing relatives still exists after liberation.
People hate the old marriage system. In the 1920s, Fengxian began the marriage reform. In the 17th year of the Republic of China (A.D. 1928), after the Northern Expeditionary Army regained Fengxian County, it launched a series of innovative activities, such as releasing animals, cutting hair, celebrating the solar calendar and getting married in a civilized way. However, the reform of wedding ceremony is limited to government agencies and a few people in the upper education, while the masses still follow the old wedding ceremony.
After liberation, under the propaganda and education of the party, the old marriage custom has changed greatly, abolishing the old habit of seeing one's fate after one year of marriage and seeing an auspicious day according to the old style. At first, they got married in a sedan chair. Later, young men and women learned that the sedan chair was sat by a feudal bureaucratic lady, ugly but not beautiful. This old habit of getting married in a sedan chair is gradually eliminated. Later, bicycles, tractors and cars were used to get married. Four young women held red flags and red flowers to welcome the bride, and the content of the wedding ceremony was also innovative.
Later, the date of engagement and marriage was set at a national statutory holiday or collective marriage, and gradually moved towards a new frugal fashion of changing the customs of marriage.