The etiquette connotation of tea culture, which permeates or absorbs into marriage, is related to the tea drinking custom in China and the etiquette of entertaining guests with tea. Since ancient times, a man has married a woman, and the man has to exchange or buy her with a certain bride price. Among many wedding supplies, tea is listed as an indispensable first gift, commonly known as "women's engagement", which means "drinking tea" and "eating tea". The engagement deposit is called "tea gold" and the bride price is called "tea gift". This is a relic of tea ceremony in China's ancient classics.
There are many customs of using tea in weddings of all ethnic groups in China. For example, engagement is also called sending wine and tea, and there are many folk names, almost one in one place. In ancient times, engagement was an important ceremony to confirm marriage relationship, and only after this stage could engagement be established.
There are great differences in engagement ceremonies in different parts of our country, but one thing is the same, that is, the man should send a certain gift to the woman's house to make an engagement, and tea is among them.
For example, in the rural areas around Beijing, Tianjin and Hebei, engagement is also called "small gift". In addition to jewelry, clothing, wine and food, small gifts are also indispensable for tea. Therefore, in the old society, when a girl was asked whether she was engaged, it was also called "taking tea". Give a small gift, and after a certain period of time, give a big gift, which is also called "giving a bride price".
In the big gift, no matter what the family circumstances, some symbolic gifts such as tea, dragon and phoenix cakes, dates and peanuts are also essential.
Tea also means "from one". After receiving the bride price from the man's family, the woman will also send a dowry and marry him immediately. After these procedures, employment is completed. The bride's dowry also depends on the family's economic conditions, but in any case, a pair of teapots and dressing boxes can't be saved.
Tea, as a symbol of "obedience" in weddings, was once popular among Han people. Most ethnic groups in China have the habit of serving tea, so the custom of using tea as a gift at weddings is also popular among ethnic groups.
For example, when the Wa people in Yunnan are engaged, they have to send "Dupa" three times, which is to book a wedding. Send 6 bottles of "clan wine" for the first time, no more, no less, unlimited tea, plantains and so on. The second gift "neighbor wine", also 6 bottles, indicates that the neighbor has agreed and can prove the marriage. The third time I sent the "Open Door Wine", it was only 1 bottle, which was specially for the girl mother to put on the pillow at night to pray for her daughter.
Naxi people in northwest Yunnan call betrothal "delivering wine". When you send wine, besides a can of wine, you should also send 2 cups of tea, 4 or 6 boxes of sugar and 2 liters of rice.
Most of the Bai people in Yunnan are engaged, and like the Han people, tea is indispensable for gifts. For example, in the ceremony of "sending eight characters" for Bai people in Xishan, Erhai, Dali, tea was included in the gift from the man to the woman.
On the second day after the bride went through the door, after getting up in the morning, the bride and groom first offered tea and toast to their relatives and elders, then paid homage to their parents and ancestors, and then the couple had a reunion dinner, thus announcing the end of the wedding.
For another example, if a Bai man and a woman in Eryuan can get married through the eight-character ceremony, the man should send 1 piece of cloth, 3 pieces of pork, 1 piece of ham, 1 sheep, 2 pairs of tea, 1 silver ring, 1 pair of earrings and some cash.
When the woman accepts the gift, the marriage is confirmed. The engagement gift of Yunlong Bai nationality is 4 packages of clothes, 2 Jin of tea, half a piece of pork or 1 pig leg.
Obviously, when the Bai people in Eryuan got married, tea was not given to the bride and her parents, but only to her brother. This kind of tea has no special significance for the Han people at the wedding.
Han people "eat tea", and engaged people take tea as a gift. Tea here means "from one". However, when other fraternal nationalities in China get married, giving and offering tea is mostly just a custom in life.
Pumi people like tea, and engagement to marriage is also very complicated. It will take two or three years to get married after engagement.
The Pumi people in Ninglang area get married, and there is still an ancient custom of "grabbing marriage". Both men and women first privately agreed on the wedding date, and then let the girl go out to work. The man sent someone to sneak up on the girl, and then suddenly "robbed" the girl. As he ran, he shouted, "So-and-so invites you to tea!" The woman's relatives and friends soon caught up with the girl and then held a formal wedding at home.
It is clear that the so-called "inviting everyone to tea" here is obviously not the same as the "tea" mentioned in the marriage customs of the Han nationality.
On the first day of marriage, the Yugur people in the northwest only brought the bride into a small tent, and the woman stayed with the bride for one night. The next morning, I ate ghee fried noodles tea and held a ceremony for the bride to enter the big account.
When the bride enters the big tent, she should first present Hada to the main room shrine and butter tea to her mother-in-law. After the ceremony of entering the room, it will be transferred to celebrations and banquets. One of the most distinctive is the custom of giving calves to the groom, which is actually an activity for singers to sing and entertain.
At the beginning of the ceremony, two singers, one with a pinch of wool leg of lamb and the other with a bowl of tea, put a large piece of ghee and four small pieces of ghee in the middle of the bowl. Tea represents the sea, large pieces of ghee represent the mountains, and then we rap our favorite "ballads and songs". Here, in the wedding ceremony of Yugur, tea only represents the meaning of the sea.
The most interesting marriage customs related to tea are Minnan and Taiwan Province Province. The marriage etiquette in Fujian and Taiwan is always called "Three Tea Rites". "Three teas" refers to "tea" at the time of engagement, "tea" at the time of marriage and "tea" at the time of meeting in the same room.
In the ancient Fujian-Taiwan culture, the man accompanied the matchmaker or parents to the woman's house to propose a marriage, and the woman's parents used to let the daughter in the boudoir serve tea to the guests. After the cup is filled, it is distributed to the relatives and guests of the man in the order of generations, thus opening the prelude to "blind date". The man's family took the opportunity to examine the girl's appearance, words and deeds, and the girl secretly looked at her future husband. When the man "sends" to the woman's house, the woman to be married presents sweet tea, which is called "golden silk jujube tea" by the people in Fujian and Taiwan, and the man is invited to taste it.
After drinking sweet tea, this person's guest will return the gift with double coins wrapped in red paper. This gift is called "pressing the tea bottle". On the wedding day, the man's wedding team didn't come to the woman's house, and the woman's house would invite her to eat "egg tea", that is, an egg boiled with sugar was built into the sweet tea.
After the man's wedding reception, the bride and groom, accompanied by matchmakers or family members, hold tea trays with candied fruit, sweet wax gourd strips and other "tea matches" to invite guests. This ceremony is called "Eating Bridal Tea". After eating the "bride tea", tourists should wrap red envelopes and put them in a teacup as gifts.
On the second day of their wedding, the newlyweds hold "Golden Jujube Tea" together, add two candied dates to each small cup, and kneel down to worship their elders. This is a famous folk "tea worship" in southern Fujian and Taiwan Province Province, and it is also the climax of tea ceremony in marriage. If relatives and elders who are far away from home can't attend the wedding, the groom's family will wrap the tea in red paper and send it with golden jujube.
Besides, in Minnan and Taiwan Province provinces, tea trees are a symbol of unity and never give up.
Most ethnic groups in our country like drinking tea. Weddings of all ethnic groups in China are colorful, and tea ceremony is often inseparable in every process of the wedding. If all the phenomena of tea culture originated from weddings in China are collected, it will be an extremely beautiful picture of historical customs.