Scold my husband Scene 1: You are doing housework, and his feet are on the coffee table, watching TV happily.
Scold husband scene 2: You bathe, brush your teeth, read and sleep for your children after work. He looked at his mobile phone, scratched his toes and was in a daze.
Scene 3: You are angry, angry, and quarreled with your mother-in-law. He bowed his head, avoided, and gave you a hard time.
There are scenes 4 and 5, so I won't list them one by one. There are so many trivial things in family life that I can't finish talking about them.
Source: Panoramic Vision
Personally, a few married and educated friends get together, mostly spitting and chicken feathers, and rarely show the beautiful and comfortable side of life. The lightness of girlhood is gone forever.
Even after a meal and a trip, it's still sloppy and sloppy.
But in my investigation, there are also some people who live a moist, warm and beautiful state after marriage. Is this because of personal background, personality, choice or luck?
Through observation and summary, one of their similarities lies in choosing the right husband as a partner.
Choosing a husband is choosing a life.
Dear girls, if you are not married, please look at your other half carefully and comprehensively to judge whether he is suitable to be your life partner.
Marriage is one of the most important choices in life, and the cost of trial and error is high, which will affect your future quality of life, the growth quality of future generations, and even the emotional quality in the second half of your life.
Parents can't choose, but you have the highest decision on how to choose a husband.
In addition to personality and physical quality, the following are some very realistic issues that you should consider before marriage.
Is the support system strong?
Marriage is a very realistic problem. When I was young, I had enough love and water.
But when you get married and have children, a series of practical problems come like a storm: who will take care of the children? How to divide housework? Is there enough money?
These will make you complain, angry and wronged.
People don't have to marry rich people, but they will be more comfortable to marry people with a stable support system.
He has a stable job, a sense of responsibility, and his parents are healthy and helpful. In the baby's most vulnerable years, he and his family can help you not fall into a lonely and helpless situation and avoid many contradictions.
My friend's hometown is in the north, far from his parents, and he married in Guangdong. Her husband's salary is not as good as hers. After giving birth to the baby, my in-laws gave 3,000 red envelopes and left, without taking part in taking care of the baby or financial support.
She had to quit her job and take care of her children by herself. She is very tired and financially embarrassed. She had to rely on her biological parents to get a pension subsidy. In addition, she is far away from her parents and relatives, and has no blood and emotional support system. Life is very difficult.
In the past two years, her parents have been in poor health, and as an only child, they have failed to serve her well.
She especially regrets being a princess before marriage and an old maid after marriage. If she had a choice, she wouldn't choose to marry far away. Even if she does, she must find someone with a stable support system.
Source: Panoramic Vision
Another friend, although her husband doesn't earn much money and is busy at work, her in-laws are willing to take care of the baby and share housework, which can create value in the workplace and lead a balanced life, but she is not so angry.
When you marry your husband, you marry not only himself, but also his family.
Who he is and who his parents are are all realistic problems that must be considered.
Can there be expectations?
My friend said that since I don't have any expectations for my husband, I won't be entangled and my heart is not tired.
She used to like to ask her husband, but he hasn't changed anything. After a long time, she gave up.
It's better to put your hopes on yourself, work hard to make money and calm down.
I admire my friend's emotional intelligence and independence, but from another point of view, a marriage partner who can't count on it is better to go it alone.
The Woke-up Woman says:
She thinks that her marriage is more successful than the women around her because her expectations of marriage are lower than those of other women, and she does not seek happiness but only survival.
This is not a kind of sadness.
They are more lonely than the middle-aged men described by Zhang Ailing. When they open their eyes, there are not only people who depend on her, but also people she can rely on. In addition, there are endless housework and countless responsibilities she has to bear.
Marrying a man who can't rely on you, but depends on you, is like tying a giant baby to you. If you can't run fast, you can only stumble
Is it male chauvinism?
Even if the other person's income is not much, but gentle and considerate, he also shares the responsibility of raising children, and the marriage can be very happy.
In the years when I was writing and taking care of my baby, I saw a father in the community coming out to walk the baby as early as noon and late as I did. After chatting, I found that his wife earns money, and he is responsible for taking care of the baby and doing housework.
He said that his earning ability is not as good as his wife's. There are no elderly people with children at home, and he likes children very much, so he should take a back seat. It's also good to play in their respective professional fields.
One of the criteria for a good husband is not to be masculine and not to be bound by the traditional marriage model.
I once chatted with my husband, and he said that if you can earn a lot of money, I can take care of the baby at home and be a home cook.
An unmanly man means that he will put a low profile for you or your family, improvise when the lifestyle needs to be adjusted, take into account your feelings and provide the greatest emotional value.
Source: Panoramic Vision
Do you want to get rich?
Beware of men who want to do great things every day and fantasize about getting rich overnight.
I met a man who quit his job as a programmer just after his wife gave birth to her second child. He stayed at home every day, trading stocks and finally lost a house. He still doesn't look for a job. I believe that one day he will turn over and become rich overnight, and his wife will lose her head overnight.
People who don't keep their feet on the ground will break their hearts.
Those who have great ambitions, but don't match their abilities and don't know themselves, marrying him is tantamount to tying a time bomb to themselves. I don't know when life will be full of thunder and little rain.
Whether you are poor or rich, find someone who can do practical things, at least you won't be afraid.
Will it run out of your time?
One day I was shocked by this title:
A 40-year-old mother with a second child writes during commuting hours, but she can't type 300 words a day.
It's about a mother named Winston, who has two children. At 8 o'clock every morning, she gets on the bus to the company, takes out her mobile phone and starts writing.
Whether you are too busy to go to the toilet on weekdays or "like a top" with your baby from morning till night on weekends, you should write at least 300 words before 10 the next day.
Although in her opinion, she just took out her mobile phone and knocked down some "chicken and dog fragments" about life, it made many mothers feel the same way:
Only when I left home did I feel like a person and a woman. The moment the security door was closed, I felt myself awake.
After reading the whole article, on the one hand, I feel very inspirational, on the other hand, I feel uneasy. She seldom talks about her husband's help in daily life. She works alone, and is drained by the boss during the day, and is drained by the child's housework husband when she goes home.
Source: Panoramic Vision
If you don't even have time to look at your mobile phone or read a few lines of books, you probably need to look at your life and your partner.
Do you listen to your mother?
A friend said that every time she quarreled with her mother-in-law, her husband stood on her mother's side. Originally, the life of a family of three was quite good, and my husband insisted that her mother-in-law come and live, saying that she would enjoy it.
Filial piety is good, but I am most afraid of ignorance.
Every time a friend's mother-in-law cooks, she only cooks the flavor that her son likes, speaks her own dialect when eating, and feels like an outsider when she looks at other people's kind and filial mothers.
A good husband should have his own ideas and always stand by your side firmly, instead of blindly filial piety and imposing the responsibility of filial piety on his wife.
Are values very different?
There are great differences in values and contradictions are difficult to reconcile.
Different personalities, lifestyles can be run-in, but the values are diametrically opposite, and the contradiction will grow bigger and bigger sooner or later.
My friend thinks life should be stable, but her husband thinks it should be risky. The two often conflict in investment. The man wanted to secretly take money to buy stocks, but he lost a lot before telling her. After a quarrel, the two parted ways.
If two people have the same values, there is no need to lie, and they can have a topic to talk about.
To understand this person, we must first understand his views on problems and his thinking when dealing with things, which often reveal his values.
Source: Panoramic Vision
Some people say that if a person has a stable mood and a stable job in marriage, his life will be very good, but I think there is another key point, that is, to have a good eye like gold and find the right person to marry.
Marrying the wrong person is like jumping off the springboard without checking whether there is water in the pool in advance, and you are bound to hit your head.
So, what kind of person do you want to marry?