On the surface, the bride price is a custom of about 200 thousand. In fact, it is agreed according to the specific situation of the family. The actual gap is very big, and the tricks are all in the dowry.
Situation 1: Marry the daughter of a rich family, the daughter of a Kochi family or the daughter of a city, and return the bride price of 200,000 yuan to the couple's house as a daughter's dowry, and the father-in-law will add a generous dowry, such as a car, and bring it to the couple's house together. Bridal gifts and dowry will generally become the bride's private money.
When wealthy families and highly educated families marry their daughters, the first consideration is the happiness of their daughters and the comfort of the young couple. After marriage, the young couple are very sweet. When money is needed, the daughter-in-law takes it out.
Since the bride price will be retired, women in the city don't care much about the bride price. Sometimes, 30,000 to 50,000 is enough. Of course, the house is still just needed.
Obviously, if you marry a daughter-in-law, you will definitely be willing to give priority to the daughters of rich families, Kochi families and urban families, but the competition is fierce, as everyone knows.
Case 2: Marry a wife in a poor place where son preference is serious. The man's 200,000 bride price was withheld by his father-in-law, which may be for your brother-in-law's wife. The dowry may be just a few quilts.
Although the parents of this family keep saying that it is for the sake of their daughter's face, their first priority is not the happiness of their daughter at all, but to take the opportunity to recover the cost of raising and marry their younger brother. My mother-in-law may insist that all over the country, 200,000 bridesmaids will return 0 dowry. Break up if I don't scare you. In a different family, there will always be people who are eager to get a wife and are willing to fight.
If a daughter is brainwashed by this concept of son preference from an early age and recognizes this concept, she will firmly believe that draining her husband's family and subsidizing her family is a manifestation of filial piety and a virtue. Generally, only daughters with higher education will object to this idea of son preference and parents' mercenary in marriage. This is why many families don't want their daughters to read too many books.
If the man's family situation is not good, it is not easy to marry a daughter-in-law. He can only watch the bride price money being taken away to his brother-in-law. Who told you not to marry a daughter-in-law in the city?
But beware of a situation where the woman is detained by her parents after asking for a huge bride price. The bride married her husband's family empty-handed. When she saw his family's property drained by the bride price, there were four walls and huge debts. Life is hard, so she often quarrels with the groom. After returning to her mother's house, she refused to return to her husband's house, even filed for divorce, went out to work and disappeared, and even found another man. However, the woman's parents refused to return the bride price, resulting in more money and less money for the man. The two families turned against each other and even led to criminal cases. This is a typical case of tragedy caused by sky-high bride price.
If the man's family is good, or the city people don't have the custom of sky-high bride price, it's not difficult to marry a wife, so it's the woman's turn to struggle.
The phenomenon of low marriage and high marriage is widespread in all parts of China. The girls in the village want to marry into the city. Everyone in the town wants to marry into the county seat. People from the county want to marry into the urban provincial capital. The provincial capital wants to marry in Beishangguang.
However, city people don't have the custom of sky-high bride price, and just want to give 1 0,000 red envelopes.
The woman wants to get rich, otherwise she will feel sorry for her parents and lose face.
The man's chip is a good family, which makes the woman and the girl very tempted. At this time, men dare to be tough.
The mother-in-law advised her son to find another daughter-in-law in the city, lest the daughter-in-law who came home be a helper for his brother.
The first chip of the woman's mother-in-law is to instill her daughter's thoughts from an early age. So while emphasizing the custom, I always said that I was saving face for my daughter. The second trick is to hide your daughter's household registration book. The third trick, holding a pesticide bottle, forced the daughter to ask the man for bride price money in order to marry her brother in the future.
Boyfriends in the city have a tough attitude. At this time, another young man in the village proposed marriage. He was willing to spend all his money to pay 300,000 bride price instead of dowry.
This is tangled.
Marrying a city man is very happy after marriage, but the parents at home don't have much money for bride price.
Married to a village man, parents get huge bride price money, but their married life will be very hard.
Situation 3: Of course, there is also a compromise, and the bride price of 200,000 is deducted by half.
Situation 4: The more extreme situation is that when the parents talk before marriage, the woman sees that the man's family is ok, and if she doesn't want to talk about collapse, she agrees to go through the bride price formalities and return it after marriage. Don't say you are a rogue after marriage, and your daughter-in-law will cry and beg you not to force her parents.
Therefore, whether to return the bride price after marriage depends on the game between the families before marriage.
Girls' ideas are also two extremes.
Some steal the household registration book to register with their boyfriends, deduct the bride price money themselves and raise their sons after marriage. Her parents accused her of being heartless, and she accused her parents of betraying her daughter. I can't tell who is right and who is wrong.
Some resolutely earn a lot of bride price money for their parents' family, even if they go to their husband's family to suffer and pay their debts after marriage. I usually earn some money, just like Fan, trying to supplement my family. Take care of your younger brother regardless of your son after marriage. Husband accused her of being a helper, and she accused her husband of having no conscience. I wonder if I can live.
Finally, add a little legal knowledge. I hope you don't use it.
In view of the rampant phenomenon of cheating on marriage and betrothal gifts in China, which drained the man's parents' life savings, leading to difficulties in life and heavy debts, which in turn led to many serious cases such as disputes, fights, arson and armed killings, causing adverse social impact. The provisions in Interpretation II of the Supreme People's Court Marriage Law only allow the people's court to support the return of betrothal gifts if the following conditions are met:
First, the two sides did not go through the marriage registration procedures;
Case: 20 13, a woman in Suqian City, Jiangsu Province refused to return the bride price of 20,888 yuan because of the dissolution of her marriage, and was sentenced to 9 months' imprisonment.
Second, the two sides have gone through the marriage registration procedures, but they have not lived together;
Case: On 20 15, Zhang, a villager from Shandou Village, Liuyang City, married Liu, a woman from Guangxi. However, the day after receiving the marriage certificate, the bride disappeared, the mobile phone couldn't get through, and the bride price money was also taken away by her. The court ordered the woman to return the bride price. However, the woman's whereabouts are still unknown and the bride price cannot be recovered.
Third, premarital payment makes it difficult for the payer.
Living difficulties refer to the fact that it is absolutely difficult to maintain the local basic living standard by relying on personal property and property shared during divorce. If life is really difficult, you should consider the following factors:
(1) When the payer gets married, the whole family borrows money together, resulting in more family debts;
(2) Family members have no fixed income;
(3) Major diseases among family members;
(4) other emergencies cause difficulties in family life;
The man must prove that his life is difficult in order to get back the bride price. You can get back more than half a year. You can get one and a half back in two years. After more than two years, you will never come back. Moreover, the daughter-in-law is likely to use divorce as a threat to prevent you from suing her parents and demanding a bride price.
If it does not meet the above three situations, the court does not support the return of the bride price.
To put it simply, if the woman is really shameless, she will ask for a huge bride price before marriage, such as 200 thousand, then get a marriage certificate with the man, hold a wedding, live with him for a few months after marriage, and then file for divorce because of her personality disagreement. And refused to return the bride price. This person may really have no choice. Women do it once or twice a year in different places, and each vote drains an ordinary family, which is faster than being a prostitute.
There is such a case, the woman is partial to marriage, and the bride price is given to her younger brother and she flies away. There are even people who cheat the bride price and fly away with their lovers.
If the court decides that the woman deliberately cheats the marriage for profit (profiting from the bride price more than twice, avoiding court summons or police pursuit), she will file a case for investigation, issue a national wanted notice, and be sentenced for fraud after arrest. If the amount is huge (more than 6,543,800+10,000 yuan), he shall be sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of not less than 3 years but not more than 7 years with reference to precedent.
If you don't want a divorce, can you ask your father-in-law for a bride price? Of course. Only if the bride wants her parents' money back.
20 13 Lianyungang Donghai people's court concluded a case in which a daughter sued her parents for returning the bride price paid by her husband before marriage. The court found that the bride price was a conditional gift. Give it to whoever the donor says. As long as the man shows that the bride price is for herself, the bride can ask her parents to return the bride price money. According to relevant laws, the court ruled that the two defendants immediately returned their daughters 200,000 yuan.
Finally, the bride price phenomenon is determined by the relationship between supply and demand, and no one can do anything about it.