Jane Austen is a world-class female writer as famous as Shakespeare. Her novels are famous for discussing love and marriage. In love and marriage, she is the most profound insight ever.
However, such a smart and agile woman has never been married.
In fact, when Austin was 20 years old, he had a relationship.
She fell in love with her neighbor's nephew Lefroy, a handsome and witty young man who went to London to study law.
0 1. The real game is close in spirit.
However, Lefroy's family was poor, so he had to rely on his great-uncle's financial aid to study. In addition, he has five younger brothers and sisters.
Although the Austin family had ordinary economic conditions at that time, after her mother was a nobleman, her father was the headmaster of the local parish, and there was still pride in her bones.
The relationship between the two did not last long under the opposition of both parents.
Austin's parents hope that their daughter can marry a suitable man; Lefroy's parents also want their son to marry a truly wealthy family.
The pride and prejudice that the two families can't get rid of make Austin and Lefroy part ways.
After breaking up, Lefroy married a rich girl as she wished and had a successful career. Austin, on the other hand, lives a single life, and his works are world-renowned.
Although Austin's love was destroyed by her parents' idea of "a match made in heaven", she still wrote in her masterpiece Pride and Prejudice:
"Marriage that only considers money is absurd, and marriage that does not consider money is stupid."
Austin also recognizes the marriage concept of "being suitable for each other". However, the "appropriate match" she recognized is not only a match in status, but also a spiritual synchronization.
Like Darcy and Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice. They are in different positions, but their three views are the same and their spiritual world is evenly matched. Both sides can grow together.
This is the real game.
02. Phoenix man can actually be a good marriage partner.
In today's marriage and love market, the correct concept of marriage and love is still highly respected, and people also have an arrogant prejudice against those "Phoenix men" who came from poor rural families.
In fact, "Phoenix Man" will be a very good marriage partner if he has a rich spiritual world.
Unfortunately, the influence of family background on a person is often deeply rooted, and the lack of spiritual world is the lifelong injury of some "Phoenix men".
Ye Tian's (pseudonym) husband is a "Phoenix Man".
Ye Tian always thinks that her husband is a good companion. He has too many excellent qualities, such as kindness, sincerity, intelligence, self-discipline and diligence.
My husband graduated from a prestigious school with a master's degree. When they planned to get married, he had only worked for more than three years and had little savings. His parents in his hometown can't help either.
Finally, Ye Tian's parents made a down payment to help them solve the problem of the wedding room.
After the wedding room was settled, the two received a marriage certificate. They originally planned to go back to their husband's hometown for a simple wedding during the Spring Festival, and then hold another wedding at their parents' home on May Day.
03. Take an 8-day long vacation and go back to Phoenix Man's hometown for a wedding.
Due to well-known reasons, the wedding of Ye Jie was postponed to June 5438+ 10 this year.
Ye Tian and her husband took a wedding leave, took an eight-day long vacation, and had plenty of time to go back to her husband's house for a wedding. However, Tian did not expect that his husband's family actually had a bride.
The truth is that my husband has a big brother who went out to work to make money when he was very young. During this period, he also talked about many girlfriends, but he never got married.
This year, my eldest brother stopped going out to work. When he was dating at home, he met a woman of the same age in the village next door. After getting along for a while, they began to talk about marriage.
Big brother made some money in his early years, but later he got into some bad habits and didn't save much money at all. With the help of his family, he finally got enough bride price.
However, he can't afford the wedding banquet.
The banquet was held at her husband's house, and the dishes were quite rich. Generally, a table costs 500 yuan's budget, plus alcohol, tobacco, melon seeds and snacks. The cost of a table is around 800 yuan.
Then, we will invite the wedding emcee and the band ... A wedding will cost at least 65,438+10,000 yuan.
The point is that there is a custom in Pojia Village. When drinking a wedding banquet, the red envelope is only 10 yuan, so is every family. Besides, children are always taken to wedding banquets.
So, my in-laws came up with an idea to hold the wedding of the two brothers together. This saves money and effort.
04. The unreasonable demands of in-laws turned the wedding into a bride.
My husband is a very filial person with a soft heart.
In the past, the husband's family's house was turned upside down, saying that the two brothers shared it equally. In fact, my husband paid 100 back and forth, and my brother's share was basically from my parents.
Moreover, my husband won't go back to live in her husband's house at all, and the flip is also for the wedding of my eldest brother. Now my in-laws even want to take advantage of her husband when her eldest brother gets married.
Confucius said in the Analects of Confucius: "Can be tolerated, can not be tolerated."
Ye Tian can tolerate her husband's financial help for filial piety and brotherhood, but she can't tolerate having another bride at the wedding.
Every woman wants to be the unique and most beautiful bride at her wedding, and can't accept the proposal of her in-laws.
What makes Ye Tian even more angry is that no one has ever told her about it, not even her husband. This disrespect for her behavior made her even angrier.
The husband explained that his parents decided temporarily and he didn't know until he got home.
05. The woman turned decisively and left overnight.
Then, her husband began to persuade her, hoping that she would understand. After all, his eldest brother helped him a lot when he was studying. And getting married is a lifetime thing, and it is not easy to find a wife at the age of the boss. ...
Ye Tian knows her husband very well. He is sensible, considerate and responsible. He works hard every day to make money, and he is bent on improving the quality of life of the couple.
However, he is very sentimental and easily softhearted. He never refuses his parents' and brothers' demands, and even if it is sometimes difficult, he puts things on himself.
Ye Tian knows that if she doesn't help her husband establish the boundary and bottom line now, there will be more troubles to find her in the future.
She and her husband said that after a man gets married, the relationship between husband and wife is the core, and everything should focus on the interests of his wife and small family.
However, my husband never listens. He feels that family ties are precious and can try his best to help.
In a rage, Ye Tian said, "Let's leave the wedding to Big Brother. Let's not do it yet. I don't want two brides at my wedding. "
In order to show her determination, she left her husband's house overnight, took a taxi to the town, found a hotel, and waited to go home the next day.
06. When running a marriage, don't forget your spiritual growth.
In the final analysis, the difference between Ye Tian and her husband is caused by the incompatibility of values, which has a lot to do with whether the two sides are suitable.
For a "Phoenix Man" like her husband, family was difficult when she was young. In order to make him successful, his parents gave him all the resources in the family.
So, now he wants to feed his family.
"Augmented Sage" wrote: "The sheep have the grace of kneeling and nursing, and the crow has the meaning of feeding back."
There is nothing wrong with feeding back the family and being filial to parents, but he ignores the fact that he owes "kindness" to the family he came from and has nothing to do with Ye Tian who grew up in another family.
He can't "bind" Ye Tian with himself and contribute to his family.
In Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth from an ordinary family and Darcy from a famous family are equally incompatible, but they can love and cherish each other.
Mainly because Elizabeth, who is independent and confident, can be equal to Darcy in spirit.
So, as Yang Lan said:
"The strongest bond in marriage is not children, not money, but spiritual growth."
As a "Phoenix Man", if you want to run a good marriage, you must not forget your spiritual growth.