If you love someone, first of all, your own feelings are very important. Whether you really love someone or pretend to love someone, your feelings are completely different. Pretend to love someone, because you don't really love him, so you don't care about each other's feelings, only possessiveness; If you really love someone, although you are possessive, you are kind. If you don't want to pretend to love someone with that malicious possessiveness, you will be happy, hopeful, want to see the person you love and want to be with her.
More importantly, you love someone and care about his feelings. Pretending to love someone doesn't really care about each other's feelings, because selfish possessiveness is at work, so everything is for yourself, not for each other. Only when you really love someone will you put yourself in the other person's shoes. Although you want it very much, you are more afraid of losing it, that is, you will be careful.
"Caution" is a unique sign of true love for a person. Sadly, many people don't understand that when they meet someone who really loves them, they are ruined by themselves. The woman below ruined such a love.
"Break up because she doesn't understand love at all!"
Xiao Xia and A Mu are both colleagues of my first company in Shanghai. Xiao Xia and I are screenwriters, and A Mu is in charge of post-animation. Because each animation is made according to the script, A Mu often comes to me to communicate with Xiao Xia. After a long time, the three of us became more and more familiar.
I don't know when the two of them fell in love. It was not until one day that I found out that A Mu would buy breakfast for Xiao Xia every morning that I vaguely felt that their relationship was abnormal. Later, at dinner, I asked them both, and they both confessed their love.
I gave them a meal as compensation for not letting me know. In fact, I am very happy to see them in love, because they not only match well in life, but also cooperate well at work and look perfect.
However, their seemingly perfect love didn't last long, and finally they broke up quietly, keeping me in the dark as before.
One day, Xiao Xia suddenly told me that she was leaving. I was surprised and asked her why she left suddenly. She said, "I think staying in this company is boring and has no future. I don't want to do this. I want to start over with another company. "
I asked her, "What about A Mu? Will he go with you? "
She sneered. "How should I know? I have nothing special to do with him. Whether he goes or not is his business! "
I don't understand. Ask her what this means. "He is your boyfriend! How can you say it has nothing to do with you? "
She shrugged her shoulders. "Boyfriend? Ha ha, have you broken up long ago? "
This is what I didn't expect. I subconsciously asked her why she broke up. She gave a simple explanation. "Nothing, but I don't like it. Not appropriate. We are not on the same road. The love I want and the love he gives are not on the same frequency. "
After work that day, Xiao Xia left his job and left early. I'm waiting for A Mu to get off work together, and I want to know more details about their breakup.
I told him what Xiao Xia said and asked him if he was really like Xiao Xia. He also sneered: "If she wants to break up with me, of course she will say that we are not suitable, and of course she will belittle me. But what I want to say is that although she broke up with me confidently, she doesn't understand love at all. "
Then, he told me the details from their love to their breakup.
"I am careful with you because of love!"
At the beginning of their love, they had good feelings for each other. Maybe it's because we are all fresh, and there are always endless words and endless things together.
However, with the deepening of love, A Mu felt more and more responsible. When strengthening love, Xiao Xia had different opinions, saying that A Mu was too cautious to let go, didn't understand love, and kept something from her. His caution was a kind of harm to her.
A Mu told her: "I am cautious about you because of love, but you think it is hurt, which really disappoints me!" "
Xiao Xia heard the word "disappointment" and told him directly, "Since I let you down so much, what are we talking about? Let's break up! I don't want to fall in love with people who are too timid. You said I let you down, but you didn't know you let me down more! You are not the person I want, and the love you give is different from the love I want, so break up! Don't be careful when you break up! "
A Mu wanted to keep her, but she insisted on breaking up, so they broke up.
A Mu said, "I swear to God, I love her. I was careful with her because of love. I am afraid that I will hurt her and make her unhappy. I am cautious because I care about her feelings, but she thinks it is hurt. She really doesn't know anything. In the future, when she meets someone who doesn't love her, she will know what kind of love I care about her. "
Soon after, A Mu also resigned and left the company, leaving me alone. Because no one in the company played well, after a while, I also resigned and left.
In the next few years, the three of us were in a state of losing contact, and no one could contact anyone, and no one could contact anyone. Some time ago, Xiao Xia didn't know from which platform to read my article, and took the initiative to find me, expressing his regret of being lovelorn.
"I don't understand love and miss him!"
Xiao Xia left that company and entered a new one. A year later, she gained love in that company. That man and A Mu are not the same person. He was so ostentatious that Xiao Xia liked him so much that he fell in love with him.
When he first fell in love, Xiao Xia felt very good. Comparing him with A Mu, he felt that he was much better than A Mu, and he always tried his best to show his kindness to her without any caution. However, after being in love for a long time, problems gradually emerged. Men are no longer as kind to her as they were when they first fell in love. They always lose their temper and don't care about Xiao Xia's feelings. His every move, every word and deed always makes Xiao Xia angry, but he doesn't feel that he has a problem.
Endless quarrels eventually led to their breakup.
After that, it took Xiao Xia two years to fall in love again. However, the new lover doesn't really love her. She thought it was good at first, but it would hurt her in the end.
When she grew up, she arranged blind dates at home. She met one person after another who did not really love her. She seems to have been enchanted, but she has never met anyone who is really kind to her. These people don't know how to care about her feelings.
Love failed again and again, and the frustration caused by the failure of blind date made her feel very helpless.
She said, "Lin Dong, I miss the man who loves me carefully!" " "
I asked her which man she was, "A Mu?"
She said yes, "it's all because I don't know love and miss him!" " He really loves me. He's right. He is careful with me because of love, but I understand love as being hurt like a psychopath. As a result, this miss is a lifetime. I really regret it! If I didn't break up with him, he wouldn't break up with me. I guess we're already married. "
I wanted to tell her to go back to A Mu, but I forgot about it. Instead, I told her: "Don't let yourself live in regret. You made the decision to break up at the beginning, and now it is meaningless to regret it after so many years. " It's enough for you to realize that he really loves you with that kind of care. You can use this to choose new lovers. Don't be afraid if you haven't met the right person for the time being. Be yourself first. True love will appear sooner or later! "
She said "I wish" and stopped talking, and I didn't persuade her again.
Lin Dongting's emotional suggestion:
Xiao Xia's remorse is the same as that movie line. "There was a sincere love before me, and I didn't cherish it. I will regret it if I lose it. " Although this state sounds pitiful, what's the use of regret? Life goes on. There are many people and many things. If you didn't cherish them in the local area, you missed it. Some people, once missed, never have a chance to start again.
Those words like "What would I do if I could start over" and "What would I do if God gave me another chance to start over" are all delusions and unrealistic fantasies that people can't do anything after losing love or marriage. Reality is reality. Missed is missed. No regret medicine.
Although it is cruel to say this, I still want to say: whether you miss love or marriage, you should learn to look forward, learn to be responsible for your present and future, don't always miss the past, and don't always let yourself live in the past. The so-called regret is to regret the people and things in the past. That kind of exhausting thing has no meaning. If you made mistakes in the past, learn from them and use them to live a good life now and in the future. This is what you should do.