The ancient wedding in China can be divided into six stages: winning lots, asking names, Naji, accepting a levy, inviting guests and welcoming people. Shantou people's wedding ceremony "generally follows the six rites of ancient style", but it also has its own characteristics.
Marriage proposal is also called marriage proposal, that is, the matchmaker proposes to the man, or the matchmaker introduces the woman to the man first, and then proposes to the woman after the man approves.
marry
Here are two links. After the consent of the two parties, the matchmaker wrote the woman's name, date of birth, place of origin and ancestors into three generations and sent them to the man. If nothing unexpected or unlucky happens in the man's house within three days, such as throwing bowls and basins, it is called "three days is good" With this good sign, the man agreed to exchange posts with Geng. After changing the Geng post, please ask someone to divine and get married to determine whether men and women are born together or together.
be engaged in
After the marriage is approved, it enters the engagement stage. That is, the man prepares gifts and the woman decides to get married. Gifts are usually a pair of gold earrings or a gold ring, as well as sugar and noodles, which are all symbols of engagement. When the woman is engaged, she should distribute candy and biscuits to her relatives and neighbors to inform them that the engagement has been decided. In the past, if a woman had a maid to get married, she had to discuss it with the man at this stage and get the consent. You should send a betrothal gift after your engagement.
hire
Also called employment. In ancient times, the rich used gold and silver, colored satin, pigs and sheep, wine and fruit, and the poor used betel nut and chicken wine. Chaozhou people regards betel nut as a symbol of good luck and a distinctive employment gift. Modern bride price includes physical objects and cash.
There must be more than four items: sugar, noodles, Daji (Chaozhou orange), gold and silver jewelry, cloth, cakes and so on. But it can't be odd, it must be even. Cash, also called bride price money, is divided into one, two and four, but they are all multiples. When buying and selling marriage prevailed, the amount of engagement money also became the key to the success or failure of marriage. In order to avoid naked bargaining on the issue of bride price, the two sides called the beauty of bride price "tea ware", making it a reward for the kindness of the bride's relatives to have children. "tea ware" takes a load of tea as the unit. The two sides run at both ends through the matchmaker, set a satisfactory load, and then exchange it for cash at the market price before hiring. Some women "tea ware" in advance as early as the engagement stage, which is the most commercialized example of buying and selling marriage. In the recruitment, the woman should have a gift in return. That is to say, the cakes and food in the dowry are returned, and the "mandarin ducks and bananas", oranges and pig hearts are all returned. Mandarin ducks and bananas symbolize centenary, and pig hearts (half of which remain in the woman's body) symbolize unity. At this time, both parties will solemnly distribute cakes and food in each other's gifts to relatives and friends, and report the wedding ceremony. Friends and neighbors should also congratulate them in return.
Invitation date
After the engagement ceremony, you should choose the wedding date and tell the woman, including when to cut the wedding dress, when to pull your face, when to take a shower and when to get married. Later invitation periods are generally carried out at the same time as employment. In the above stages, no matter what the two sides discuss, they are all written on red posts, put in mailboxes and passed on by matchmakers.
Kissing is a ceremony for the groom to go to the bride's house to marry the bride, and it is also the most important procedure in the whole wedding. There are two kinds of personal greetings, one is the groom's personal greeting, and the other is that the man invites a "lucky man" to meet him.
Before the groom gets married, the bride has to "divide the money". Give all the brothers and sisters in the family a lot of rice mixed into coins to show that wealth is distributed to everyone. When it's time to take a bath, you should take a bath with Xiancao and pomegranate flowers. After taking a shower, you will stand in the bamboo gourd prepared in advance, and the "lucky" sent by the man will put on her wedding dress (below is the "five elements" cardigan and pleated skirt). After arriving at the station, they bid farewell to their elders one by one, and were sent to the door by their unmarried brothers, and then supported by the "lucky ones" on the sedan chair. In some places, the bride should "marry in tears" before getting married. I really can't cry, and my mother has to give her a hard wring to make her cry in pain. Crying was originally an expression of the bride's parting feelings, but later it developed into this way, which was intended to let her husband's family know that the bride "Chang 'an is not as happy as the old house" and should love her more. After the bride leaves, the house should be closed immediately, so as to avoid divorce and return to her family in the future because of an accident in her husband's family or a falling out between husband and wife.
The bride's dowry is usually clothes, wooden boxes and the like, but there is a kind of dowry commonly known as "the whole hall" "Full hall surface" refers to all the necessary items of the bride's bedroom and hall after her husband arrives, such as kang bed, round table, drum chair, counter chair, suitcase, five buckets (rice bucket, bowl bucket, foot bucket, waist bucket, toilet), dressing table, gold and silver jewelry, kitchen rag, even longevity board (coffin) and title deed. In rural areas, rice seeds should be packed in red bags, and the whole bamboo seedlings should be carried on a pole and taken to the husband's family with the bride. The person who chooses wedding items for the bride is called "Qinglang". Once upon a time, dowry was extremely valued, and any negligence would be criticized by her husband's family. Legend has it that when the bride got married, her family forgot to marry firewood, which caused her in-laws' dissatisfaction. The bride must cook with firewood every day. Until I went back to my parents' house and told them that I hired 180 porters and made up 180 firewood.
The sedan chair came to the door of her husband's house to set off firecrackers to welcome the bride. The groom kicked off the sedan chair, rolled up the curtain, ripped off the wishful (silver hairpin) from the bride's head and tied it "hard" on the bride's forehead. Kicking a sedan chair and tying a greeting message are intended to give the bride a fright, and everything will be as her husband wishes in the future. This is a hint that women get married and become husbands. Interestingly, on the wedding night, the bride should "stomp on the groom's foot" before going to bed as a resistance to Zha Ruyi. Then, the bride was carried around the town by the bridesmaid in a flower basket, letting people know that the bride turned out to be a chaste red flower girl. This vulgar custom has long been abolished.
Four months later, the bride will hold a "ceremony to visit her parents", that is, to return to her parents' home. Three times in a row, commonly known as "first time", "second time" and "third time". The first time and the second time, the bride had lunch at her parents' house, and she had to return before she saw the smoke from her parents' house. Only for the third time can I stay at my parents' house for a few days, reunite with my relatives, pour out my homesickness, tell the love of the young couple and reassure my parents.
There is also an interesting custom. The following year, the bride spends the first Lantern Festival at her in-laws' house. No matter whether she is pregnant or not, she should dress up as before on the wedding day, and then invite guests to visit the "bride". In some rural areas, all the brides in the village line up at the village head well for the villagers to watch. In some rural areas, on this night, young people in the village can also form gangs and beat gongs and drums to the newlyweds' homes to "make trouble". No matter in the middle of the night, the bride and groom should open the door for a warm reception. This is a commemorative ceremony of the wedding, which allows couples to relive their honeymoon and cherish a happy new life.