Lin chose Liang Sicheng, Lu Xiaoman Xu Zhimo, Qian Zhongshu, She Aizhen Hu Lancheng and Yuan Quanyou Wang. Everyone's choice is different. And who did the heroine in Shanghai women's picture books choose after seven relationships?

This 20-episode TV series tells the story of Luo Haiyan, a foreign girl, who worked hard in Shanghai after graduating from Shanghai University.

A * * * two clues, one is Luo Haiyan's career line, the other is her love line. The description of her career line in TV series is too smooth, which is far from the real world we live in and is not the focus of this discussion. And that love line involves seven feelings, each of which is representative and worth talking about.

First Love-Values Decide Choice

Chen Xiaowei was Luo Haiyan's college boyfriend. He is handsome, sunny, gentle, considerate and excellent.

They really love each other and get along well. In the eyes of everyone, including myself, getting married after graduation is a matter of course. However, because Chen Xiaowei's mother happened to be ill, his father helped him find a job as a civil servant in the provincial capital. So he chose to return to his hometown and leave Shanghai. Before he left, he came to Haiyan, hoping to take her away. But Luo Haiyan, who loves Chen Xiaowei, refused. She chose to stay in Shanghai.

Here, they all made choices according to their own values.

In Chen Xiaowei's values, staying with family and having a stable job are more important than love. In Luo Haiyan's values, the pursuit of career is more important than love.

So such a pair of very beautiful lovers finally confirmed the old saying "We broke up as soon as we graduated".

Hungarian poet petofi once wrote a famous poem: "Life is precious, but love is more expensive. If you are free, you can throw both. " This poem is about values, and values are the order of importance of things in life. From this poem, we can see that in petofi's mind, freedom ranks highest, followed by love, and finally life.

Many of our choices seem to be emotional decisions, but actually values are at work.

The second relationship-how big is your pattern?

Luo Haiyan's second love came suddenly. She fell in love with her English teacher when she was in an English cram school.

The girl who lives with her said that Haiyan is really blessed. Is her boyfriend an English teacher or a Shanghainese? Luo Haiyan himself was very satisfied.

Shanghai boyfriend asked Luo Haiyan to go back to see her parents. She is very nervous and doesn't know what clothes to wear and what gifts to bring. Finally, I chose a dress lacking temperament and an expensive gift. Boyfriend's parents invited her to dinner, which looked very polite, but it was hard to hide their disdain. During the dinner, he said, "Haiyan, eat more fish." It may not be available in China. " Luo Haiyan was very unhappy, but he didn't fight back.

Later, when she said that she wanted to make money to buy a house by herself, her boyfriend was farther away from her, and he couldn't adapt to such a woman with independent thoughts and opinions. In addition, his mother has always opposed him looking for a foreign girl, so he decided to break up.

At the end of the whole TV series, the life of every boyfriend before Luo Haiyan flashed out. This Shanghai boyfriend is single so far, living a mother-in-law life that is neither salty nor light, and life is very difficult.

In fact, everyone's growth and development is a systematic project. Among them, the pattern is very important. People with large patterns can accommodate more diverse people and things, rather than limiting their horizons and tolerance to one corner. People with large patterns will not set many restrictions for themselves, but let themselves keep all kinds of possibilities. People with big patterns don't want others to submit to them, but can accept and create equal relations with others.

Fortunately, my boyfriend in Shanghai gave up Haiyan, otherwise it is hard for me to imagine where she can go with such a small man. There are only two final results: either he gradually assimilates him, or he chooses to divorce in pursuit of himself. However, no matter what, it can't compare with her later free bloom.

The third romance-"I love you, but I can't marry you"

After moving to live in the city center, Luo Haiyan often went for a happy run. One day, fun run sprained her ankle. A middle-aged Hong Kong man came to help her, and then asked the driver to take Luo Haiyan home.

He is the chief marketing officer of a company in Greater China. His name is Cai Zhongxian. He is polite and personable. Luo Haiyan invited him to dinner to thank him, so after a long time, both of them had an idea.

On Luo Haiyan's birthday, he took out a Cartier bracelet and said, "The Greek ship king gave his beloved woman Maria a Cartier bracelet engraved with TMWL, which means to give her love." Looking down at the bracelet engraved with THWL, Luo Haiyan was moved. (In the same way, THWL means to come to harriot with love, and Harrio is the English name of Haiyan) Then Brother Xian added, "Can I see you every day in the future?" Luo Haiyan nodded defenseless, and then went to Xiange's apartment.

Just as love was growing up, reality gave her a loud slap in the face. When she opened the door of his apartment, she saw the woman and the child in front of her. The woman politely explained to her the meaning of this bracelet, that is, "I love you, but I can't marry you".

Finally, Luo Haiyan returned the bracelet to the Hong Kong man and turned away.

Her dream was to have a cubicle of her own and an independent source of income in Shanghai through hard work. However, when the man with money, status, status, taste and temperament said to her, "Don't trap your dreams in the cubicle, you will become a woman overlooking the whole Shanghai", that soaring fantasy and expectation naturally rose rapidly, and love also grew.

Fortunately, Haiyan was not lost in such illusion and love. She knows that no matter how charming and beautiful he is, no matter how beautiful the life he describes, she must leave, because such love is poisonous after all.

The fourth kind of love-the love that blows away.

When Luo Haiyan was in charge of commercial shooting and actor selection, he took a fancy to Yan Bing, who was only a drama actor at that time.

After Luo Haiyan left Xiange, they fell in love. She is bent on making him famous, and he seems to depend on her.

However, he later chose another woman who could decide the future development as his patron and gave up Luo Haiyan. At the press conference that she planned and prepared, she saw this scene with trepidation, and he cast a caring and unbearable look at that moment.

Perhaps, he did love her, but it's a pity that this love is too light and thin. The rich interests in reality will disappear immediately as long as they are tempted a little. This kind of "love" is fleeting and can't stand the slightest test.

Luo Haiyan, on the other hand, devoted himself to it for two consecutive periods (with Brother Xian and Yan Bing), but the other party finally slipped into the cold valley after cheating, completely losing the trust and expectation of love.

The fifth relationship-people who don't understand you won't last long.

After Luo Haiyan's pursuit of love was shattered by reality again and again, she found that what she wanted was probably just a marriage.

So she started dating.

Then I met Bai Qiang, a man who graduated from Jiaotong University. He used to work in a bank and later opened a wedding company. The conditions of the two of them are very similar, but their dating is boring, without passion, without too much emotion, without quarreling, without in-depth communication, and always calm.

Later, he took her to a French restaurant and proposed to her. Luo Haiyan smiled and agreed.

However, the last straw that overwhelmed this "love" came at this moment. Just as Luo Haiyan was looking forward to a heart-to-heart talk after the marriage proposal, Bai Qiang proposed buying a house. Although Luo Haiyan said he didn't want to continue this topic, he continued to talk about those thoughtful and rational ideas.

Many people think that this relationship can't go on because Bai Qiang has gone too far. He wants Luo Haiyan to share the down payment of the house with him, otherwise he will do property notarization. But in my opinion, the key problem of this love is not here, but Luo Haiyan finally realizes that this is a love that "doesn't understand her".

In the movie Avatar, what impressed me the most was the phrase "I saw you" that my lover Jack always said to Princess Neville. Sometimes, I think this sentence is more profound than "I love you", because the occurrence of love is the process of "seeing each other" and "being seen by each other". Feel the other person's inner feelings and see the "self" that the other person may not realize, so a connection is established between the two. And this is the love of "knowing you".

As Luo Haiyan's best friend Scarlett said, "If he knows you, he will definitely walk into your heart. If he doesn't understand you, it won't last. "

The sixth romance-The Golden Castle and The Road to Freedom

While watching the art exhibition, Luo Haiyan met a person who looked very elegant and noble. He is a real estate tycoon in Shanghai.

After getting to know each other, Luo Haiyan took him to a small shop for breakfast, and he ate fried dough-strips soybean milk that he hadn't eaten for a long time. He can't hide the joy of reliving the past. Although there is no explanation in the film, Luo Haiyan at this time is a far cry from when she took bird's nest to her in-laws' house. She knew that people like him seldom came to this small shop full of fireworks, so she chose such a breakfast place.

Later, Lilin really moved her mind. She also put the big diamond ring of the three-bedroom and two-bedroom house in the city center on her ring finger.

I thought I was waiting for the identity of Mrs. Lin, but I didn't expect a paper contract.

Lin li's lawyer said to Luo Haiyan, "Your contract is five years. After five years, if both parties wish, they can renew the contract. If you don't want to, you can also get a villa in the suburbs and a one-bedroom and two-bedroom house in the urban area. If you give birth in these five years, girls can get a trust fund of 10 million, and boys can get a trust fund of 30 million. "

Hearing this, Luo Haiyan was more than I could bear. He went in to question Linlin, and Linlin said calmly, "The marriage certificate is pale, and things are ever-changing. If one day you don't love me, divorce is much trouble. The essence of marriage is the exchange of interests, which is a paper contract. I gave you more than just a marriage certificate. If you love me all the time, we will go on. If not, you are free to leave. "

This persuaded Luo Haiyan, and she accepted.

Later, after she met her ex-girlfriend with a five-year contract, Luo Haiyan suddenly realized that she still had to be a personal assistant. This naked exchange of interests made her start to reflect. I thought that marrying a rich man was the road to freedom, but I ended up in a castle bigger and more luxurious than a cage-Golden Castle.

So she asked her best friend scarlett, "What is true freedom?"

Scarlett gave a wonderful answer: "True freedom will not be pinned on others."

Finally, she returned the contract to Lin Li and the big diamond ring that was given to her.

Later, Li-xin Lin regretted it, found her again and said that she wanted to marry her. She smiled brightly and said, "I would like to be your friend, there is no other possibility between us", and then turned and left.

In fact, I think there is nothing wrong with the so-called five-year engagement. It can make everyone in the marriage cherish and invest everything they have, and at the same time retain the possibility of free choice of future and love. If you love each other, you can continue. If you don't love each other, you can turn around and leave, instead of being indifferent in the name of "responsibility"

Therefore, in the relationship between Lin Li and Luo Haiyan, the most problematic thing is not the five-year engagement, but that she doesn't love the man in front of her at all and just wants to gain "real freedom" through him. However, without love, such a contractual marriage can only be a pure exchange of interests, and the freedom entrusted to others cannot be "real freedom."

The seventh relationship? -? Fight together and enjoy love together.

Zhang Tianhao is the person Luo Haiyan met after she left her boyfriend who was an English teacher and moved to the city center.

He is handsome and sunny, but he looked like a playboy when he first met him.

It is also the performance of a playboy. Some people are really in our nature, while others are because they have not met true love.

George Clooney is the latter, so is tien-hao chang.

He fell in love with Luo Haiyan, but he didn't confess, and Luo Haiyan never seriously considered him. Who knows that after experiencing emotional twists and turns again and again, his persistence, tenacity and sincerity towards Luo Haiyan finally made her understand that he was the love she had been looking for. After meeting Brother Xian and He in succession, she was afraid of being hurt and didn't dare to love again. So I turned a blind eye to the sincere love around me and turned to seek the stability and interests of secular marriage. This is why I later talked about marriage with Bai Qiang and lin li who lacked love.

However, after going around for a while, she finally rediscovered the preciousness of love and regained the courage to embrace it.

After they finally got together, the TV series gave them a kiss in the eye, from which we saw true love, which we cherished but could not bear. It's not the kind of "pretend" she used to kiss many times.

While starting a business and enjoying love, Luo Haiyan finally found his own "road to freedom", that is, relying on his own ability to achieve his career and embrace love fearlessly.

After talking about the heroine Luo Haiyan, I especially want to talk about another woman in the TV series-Scarlett.

When Luo Haiyan was a rookie and just entered the workplace, Scarlett was already in a high position in the company. She is a woman with great temperament and personality. Later, she became Luo Haiyan's best friend and spiritual mentor.

She always knows what she wants and what she doesn't want.

She bought herself a house when she was single. Later, she had a boyfriend Jason, Orwell's VIP client, and they were congenial. Who knows, just as they were talking about marriage in Bali and sending invitations to relatives and friends, Scarlett fell in love with her male assistant Ethan. Of course, her boyfriend Jason's disobedience is not only a betrayal of love, but also makes her look down in front of many relatives and friends. So I went to Scarlett's company and made a scene, clamoring to see Ethan, and Scarlett was having a very important client meeting. After hearing Jason's noise, she came out and said quietly to Jason, "I'm very sorry, but it's over."

She knew Jason was still irrational, so she asked Luo Haiyan to give him something in turn. When Jason saw a box full of good memories, he finally realized that Scarlett didn't love him. It is true that she loves him, and it is also true that she loves Ethan now. So he calmed down and stopped making a fuss for Scarlett's reputation.

Unfortunately, love, like all other creatures, grows, changes and sometimes dies. Just like their love.

Scarlett dares to abandon other people's eyes, is willing to damage her career, and chooses Ethan from the heart. This is not only her seriousness and persistence in love, but also her full understanding and confidence in herself.

The process of embracing love again and again is the process of constantly "seeing" yourself. In this process, Luo Haiyan gradually learned about himself, his outlook on life and values, and the boundaries that he could not expand and the boundaries that he could expand. Know what you want and what you don't want; What's right and what's not. I will gradually understand the true meaning of love and the meaning of marriage.

"Woman, what kind of man should I marry?" I didn't give an answer to this question, but maybe Luo Haiyan's Road to Freedom can give you some inspiration. Welcome to share your experiences and feelings in the message area.

The author Ai Feijie introduced the founder of Shao Pengbo College as "only doing courses that affect your life"&; CEO, author of the thoughtful best-selling book "Hit the Essence", founder of many enterprises &; CEO's personal growth coach, Gallup's global certified advantage coach, professional coach certified by International Coaches Association (ICF), former head of marketing department in Greater China of Fortune 500 companies in the United States, founder and main author of official WeChat account of Effie's Ideal with 200,000 readers.