In the old society, engagement was based on "parents' orders and matchmakers' words". When ordering a daughter-in-law, the man's family first prepares a wine feast and invites a matchmaker, which is called "central media". Through the negotiation of the matchmaker, wine and meat are prepared on an auspicious day and sent to the woman's home by the matchmaker, which is called "going to the door". If the woman's family allows marriage, she will accept the bride price; No gifts if you refuse to get married. Later, the man's family chose another auspicious day, 4, 6, 8, 12, and the elders took the matchmaker to the woman's house, and the woman's house invited her out to worship. Eating noodles at noon is called "bringing soup". If you hold a banquet for guests, it is called "bringing soup".
After the founding of New China, great changes have taken place in marriage customs. First, the implementation of freedom of marriage, young men and women can freely fall in love, and the number of marriages arranged by parents has decreased sharply. Second, the age of engagement is generally delayed. Third, urban marriage agencies are active from scratch, from less to more. marry
On the eve of the wedding, the man should invite young men and women in the neighborhood to discuss related matters. According to the bride's dowry, arrange the relocation personnel in advance, and invite male elders (with original spouses) or village heads to take the lead. On the wedding day, the wedding guests (men and women) go to the woman's house with trumpeters, and the woman's house is equipped with wine and food. Later, the dowry will be carried away by the dowry bearer first. At this time, the bride must put on the red skirt brought by the man, wearing a rockhopper and a red cloth (also called a hijab), waiting to get on the sedan chair. After the founding of New China, with the promotion and implementation of the Marriage Law, the feudal buying and selling marriage was abolished, and the wedding ceremony was relatively simple. You don't need a sedan chair to celebrate your wedding. You usually use tractors and cars. Dowry is gradually developing into high-grade durable goods. Banquets for both men and women are generally very rich. After the Third Plenary Session of the Eleventh Central Committee, group weddings have sprung up in both urban and rural areas, which are organized by youth leagues and women. During the "May Day" and "Eleventh Day" festivals, organizers will gather the married people together, entertain them with sugar tea, sing and dance, and enjoy their honeymoon after the wedding. However, with the improvement of people's living standards, it is becoming more and more popular for young people in cities (rural areas) to compare and show off in buying clothes and quilts, jewelry, furniture, household appliances, car wedding banquets and so on. The divorce rate is also increasing year by year. (of a newlywed wife) going to her parents' home with her newlywed husband.
After lunch on the second day of the wedding, the woman posted a message to welcome her son-in-law and daughter home, which is called "returning to the door". On the third day, the woman gave a banquet to entertain her son-in-law, and the neighbors prepared wine and meat to congratulate her, which was called "seeing her son-in-law". In the afternoon, the couple came back together. The beginning of the mourning period
After death, put the shroud (old clothes) on the deceased first. Generally, men wear at most 7 pieces of clothes, robes and jackets, and women count 5 pieces, which is called "small funeral". Then burn paper under the kang, move the corpse bed, spread rustling grass, cover it with white paper, and stay in the hall until the afternoon of the third day. The coffin was padded with loess, covered with a red mattress and covered with paper or cypress leaves on both sides. The body is covered with a red sheet, the face of the deceased is wiped with new cotton dipped in wine, and finally the coffin is covered, which is called a "big coat". Hold a funeral or memorial service
The day after the funeral, that is, the fourth day after the funeral, condolences began. Undertaker pasted the door with white paper, cut it into long flocs, and erected it outside the door with poles and sticks. You also need to write "obituary" on a wide piece of white paper and post it outside the gate. Both men and women wear mourning clothes. A white tent was hung in front of the coffin, and a sacrificial table was set in front of the tent, with sacrifices on the table and straw mats for men and women on both sides. Relatives and friends who come to pay their respects are given white hats and white cloth, which is called "mourning". Carry the coffin to the cemetery
After opening the crane, choose an auspicious day for the funeral. The night before the funeral, wine and food were served as a memorial service, and relatives bowed down in front of the coffin and drank a libation. Then, hold a family ceremony, and bow down and drink in the order of family generations. Throughout the memorial ceremony, children and grandchildren in mourning knelt on both sides of the tomb (men and women in a row) and wept bitterly. Rosty Yi's funeral ended. At the end of the funeral ceremony, the eldest son threw a paper basin on the side of the road and carried the funeral procession. The nephews of other children followed him according to their age. The trumpeter is the leader, and relatives and friends send the funeral before and after. Buried in the tomb, the funerary objects are placed and the sacrificial objects are listed on a small table, which is called "tomb use". Next to the paper boy and girl. Solid soil is a grave. The dutiful son respects his master and takes him home. Post-funeral ceremony
After burial, there are ceremonies such as warming the tomb, covering the mountain, the whole mountain, the seventh birthday, the centenary, the first anniversary and the second anniversary, and filial piety will not be removed until the third anniversary. Call it "heavy service" before changing clothes. Those who wear heavy clothes don't pay New Year greetings and don't put red paper couplets on their doors during the Spring Festival. In some places, filial sons wear mourning clothes and hold incense in their hands. They must thank their neighbors and main relatives before they can enter and leave their gate. When Xie Xiao meets an old man, he should kowtow and bow down, and the other party should bow and thank him. After the founding of New China, the Party and the government actively carried out funeral reform. Cities advocate cremation, rural areas reform burial, and implement cemeteries. Many times advocated a simple funeral, you can send flowers and hold a memorial service. Undertaker doesn't have to wear white mourning clothes, but only black gauze to show his grief, but the old funeral custom continues. Around 1986, "red and white parties" were generally established in villages to educate the masses to change their customs and help the bereaved to organize funerals. Accelerate delivery
Before giving birth, the bride's family needs to prepare wedding gifts, such as the baby's coat and hat, and the food for the mother next month. When she is in labor, her mother-in-law will go to see her daughter. This is called "childbirth". After giving birth to a child, the host family should inform her parents. This is called "good news". After hearing the news, the bride's family will immediately send clothes and food to the baby.
Full moon; The baby is one month old.
It's called "the joy of next month". At the girl's full moon, grandma only sent her a wedding cake, children's clothes and a 3-foot-high blue cloth (called "diaper") to congratulate her. When the boy is full moon, in addition to the gifts from grandma's family, the host usually holds a banquet to entertain relatives, friends and neighbors. On that day, we will take our children to "touch Gan Da" (that is, foster parents) and walk around the village. Whenever you meet the first suitable person, you will recognize Gan Da, Gan Ma, Gan Ye and Gan Po (only one person). Please go home for entertainment. Ganda and others will send clothes, necklaces, silver medals and other gifts. I have given lanterns for several years, wrapped my stomach for several years, and prepared gifts to celebrate when I grow up. Ganwa pays New Year greetings to Ganda and others every year, and also gives gifts to funerals when she is dying of old age. After the founding of New China, the ethos of "beating the small with the big" (including others) gradually faded.
Full lamp
When boys and girls reach the age of 12, they should inform their relatives and friends to attend the Lantern Festival. Grandma will give her daughter and grandson a set of clothes, shoes and socks, a hat and a pair of big red lights, and other relatives will give gifts with candles. Some also send clocks, desk lamps, clothes and other things. The main family was received with joy and enthusiasm. Before the founding of People's Republic of China (PRC), both men and women were called "birthdays" when they were over 50. On the birthday, besides friends and relatives, people who flatter the rich and powerful also come to congratulate. Zhu Shou gave a big banquet to entertain guests, but most farmers didn't start until they were 60. On that day, the children of the whole family got together and bowed and toasted the old man to show their congratulations and filial piety. After the founding of New China, most of the birthday parties are children, and birthday cakes are the most popular gifts.