Accompanying gifts is also called escorting members, and collecting money. Marriage customs, manners and customs. When giving gifts, we share money in a collective way. Before men and women get married, relatives and friends pay the money according to the agreed amount, and then make a gift for each man and woman who are going to get married. In the past, gifts were limited to the relatives and friends of the man's family, but the relatives and friends of the modern woman's family have since become vulgar.
In rural areas, the custom of marrying members, and finally, in rural areas where the most traditional wedding customs are preserved, the gift-giving style here is more distinctive. When the young men in the village get married, they may invite each household in the village to send a representative to eat a running mat. The whole village will take this opportunity to enjoy themselves. According to the words of the city people, it is a bit like the rural version of the "party", and many people can't talk about giving red envelopes. Even if they do, it's not too much to give twenty or fifty, and it's not too much to give 100. But most simple villagers will send some homemade ones. Have fun together.
China is a human society, and many things that money or power can't do can be done as long as there is human feelings. This special social structure makes many foreigners particularly puzzled. If you have no human relations in this human society, you can't move.
For example, wedding banquets, birthday banquets, school banquets, centennial banquets, etc. Are important occasions to reflect interpersonal relationships. People who have friendship on weekdays will take the initiative to send gifts or gifts when they encounter such things.
On the one hand, courtesy embodies the fine tradition of reciprocity, on the other hand, it can deepen mutual feelings. In fact, there are doorways to follow the ceremony. When people reach middle age, they don't have to follow these "four kinds of rituals", which is purely meaningless social interaction.
First, there is no need to follow the ceremony when hosting a banquet.
This situation is more common in rural areas. Hold a banquet to marry a daughter-in-law, have children, build a house, celebrate the birthday of the elderly, and give the children a full moon for a hundred days.
According to the custom, as long as a banquet is held, the invited people have to follow the ceremony whether they like it or not. Although many people hate it, they live in a village, and they don't look up and feel embarrassed if they don't follow the ceremony.
This kind of banquet is actually to collect money naked in the name of receiving gifts. Many people don't want to offend others, so they have to tighten their belts.
If you have such people around you, I hope you must learn to refuse, because those who often treat guests on the grounds of hosting banquets are often insatiable people. Only by refusing in time can you stop losses in time.
Second, if there is no intersection in life, there is no need to "follow the ceremony"
The foundation of interpersonal communication is intersection. Family, friends, colleagues, classmates, etc. Meet almost every day. As the saying goes, "horsepower is known far and near, and people will see it for a long time."
People who work or get along for a long time will not only cultivate stable interpersonal relationships, but also help each other at critical times.
In fact, there are many kinds of interpersonal relationships, such as a nodding acquaintance.
Such people may be neighbors or "friends" they know on some occasions. Because this relationship is very shallow, there is almost no intersection in life.
If this kind of person comes to you with a gift, I hope everyone will seriously consider it. After all, it is completely unnecessary.
Third, if you don't contact for many years, you don't have to follow the ceremony.
Nowadays, many people are feeling that no matter how good the relationship is, if we don't contact at ordinary times, it will be as dull as water over time, because everyone has their own life circle, and once they leave the original intention of communication, they will become familiar strangers.
In particular, friends have gone to other places to develop. You haven't contacted each other for many years, so there is absolutely no need to accompany this relationship. Even if you miss your old love, you should consider whether you still have feelings.
Friends who haven't contacted for many years thought of you at the ceremony, didn't they just want you to pay? Don't estimate the so-called face at this time. Others don't take you seriously. Why bother?
Fourth, come and don't go, don't have to follow the ceremony.
"Book of Rites" wrote: "It is indecent to go and not come; It is also impolite to come and not go. " What do you mean, "come and not go"? In short, although you know each other, you have never reciprocated Lee Guo.
Such people can only be regarded as acquaintances, and there will be no real feelings between them. Therefore, there is no need to have money relations with people who come or not. Even if you give them gifts, people may not do it when you have something to do.
No one's money is blown by the wind, even if they have money, they can't spend it like this. After all, good steel needs to be used on the blade. As the saying goes, "Good iron doesn't twist nails", you can't spend your money silently, otherwise people will think you are stupid and have more money.
According to the data survey of wedding gift money all over the country, the requirements for the amount of wedding gift money vary from place to place. For example, in Shanghai, Beijing, Shenzhen and other places, wedding red envelopes are all above 500 yuan; But in other provinces and cities, red envelopes may not need to be given so much.
Give gifts in return.
Finally, I want to say that such a small matter as accompanying gifts should be based on one's personal connections and actual situation. Don't make a fool of yourself because of trifles.