As the saying goes: "There is no cloud in the sky, no rain in the ground, no media on the ground, and you can't get married." In ancient times, people paid attention to the words of the matchmaker when they got married, which required both the parents' life and the words of the matchmaker. The matchmaker doesn't match the bridge and is impolite. Even if the two sides love each other, they should run errands, propose marriage and finally get married through the matchmaker. There is a cloud in the Book of Songs: "Qin has no unscrupulous media." It means that the woman has repeatedly delayed the wedding date, but the man can't get married without a good matchmaker. And: "What about Waco? There is no axe to cut. How did you marry that wife? Media is not allowed. " You can't cut down trees without an axe, and you can't get married without a matchmaker. Why is the role of matchmaker so important?
As a product of the times, matchmakers have existed for thousands of years. In ancient times, doors were relatively closed. "The voices of chickens and dogs are heard, and the people will not rest until they die." Moral standards have great constraints on women. Etiquette requirements such as "men and women don't give and receive sex", "three-year-old different beds, five-year-old different seats" and "good women don't leave home" make it impossible for men and women to meet meaningfully, especially adult men and women, so the matchmaker came into being.
In fact, the appearance of matchmakers originated from primitive reproductive worship, and Lu Chunqiu recorded the ancient people's worship of Gao. The matchmaker is the god in charge of marriage and childbirth. Sacrifice to Gao Shen is considered as the heritage of primitive reproductive worship. It is also said that people regard Nu Wa as a high god because Nu Wa is a marriage between men and women, so Nu Wa can be regarded as the first matchmaker in China. In the Zhou Dynasty, the official media was established to specialize in the marriage of men and women. After the Warring States period, private media gradually emerged, but at the same time, the regulations on marriage gradually became stricter. After the Han Dynasty, it was said that every marriage should be ordered by parents. If you don't go through these formalities, you will get married for life. There was another law in the Tang Dynasty: "Marriage must have a matchmaker." It can be seen that the status of the matchmaker is very noble from the beginning, and it is no wonder that in later customs, men and women must have a matchmaker to get married.
Since the Song Dynasty, professional matchmakers have appeared for profit. According to the standard of ancient etiquette, marriage should go through six links-six ceremonies, namely, receiving gifts, asking names, being lucky, receiving gifts, inviting Japan and welcoming relatives. Basically, every link needs a matchmaker to go through the needle. Among them, the matchmaker contacts and coordinates the related marriage matters for both men and women. When men and women get married, they should also enliven the atmosphere and say some auspicious words, wishing the newlyweds happiness and always have a glib tongue. This is not only a gift, but also a skill. As soon as the matchmaker opens his mouth, it seems that there are no people in this world who can't get married, and no matter how they don't match, they become a good couple like a fairy couple. Of course, in the final analysis, no matter how flattering and slapping, it is to show each other's advantages, turn each other's shortcomings into marriage and earn money from the matchmaker. There are many names for matchmakers in later generations, such as "Yue Lao" in Tang Dynasty, "Matchmaker" in Yuan Dynasty and "Matchmaker" in Ming and Qing Dynasties.
In the modern society that advocates freedom of marriage, the actual role of matchmakers has mostly disappeared. However, in some rural areas, there are still some amateur matchmakers who match "obligations" for unmarried men and women in order to achieve a good marriage. In addition, the traditional wedding still retains the custom of thanking the media for giving money and wine. At the wedding, the matchmaker said auspicious words to the couple, which not only enlivened the atmosphere, but also made them lucky.
It is certain that men and women in ancient times had to go through a matchmaker to get married. "Parents' orders, matchmakers' words" is the iron law of ancient marriage. Without parents' consent, the matchmaker decides for life privately, which is unfilial, arrogant and even illegal. Because matchmaking is not only a folk behavior, there are official media from the Western Zhou Dynasty to the Qing Dynasty, which is an ancient and legal industry.
According to Shi Mei, the local official of Li Zhou, "Shi Mei is the judge of all people (that is, marriage)", "All famous men and women are named after their years, months, days and names, so that men marry at the age of 30 and women marry at the age of 20". The official task is to urge men and women of school age to get married. It is a national event to have more children since childhood.
Guanzi Entering China: "Every country has media. Husbands are widowed and widowed, and women are widowed and widowed. Take the widowed and merge, and divide the field house and family. This is called an independent combination. " It can be seen that the official media in the Spring and Autumn Period should also care about widowers and widows, reorganize families and integrate property.
From the Qin Dynasty to the Qing Dynasty, the power of official media was still great. We are familiar with the image of matchmaker as a private media. It is legal and effective to publicize a contractual marriage contract and register and supervise it in the official media office. It can be seen that marriage is never a private matter. In ancient times, it was illegal and shameful for both parties to agree to make a lifelong commitment. "Men and women don't give and receive" even the closest relatives need "three media and six certificates" to conform to the rules.
For example, Sister Lin and Brother Bao grew up together, and their parents agreed, but if they get married, matchmaker etiquette is indispensable. There must be three media: the matchmaker hired by both men and women, and the intermediary matchmaker who matches both sides; And six engagements: six procedures: recruiting, asking names, Najib, recruiting, inviting and welcoming; In order to show prudence and sincerity, I also took six certificates: a bucket, a ruler, a steelyard, a pair of scissors, a mirror and an abacus were placed on the table, which was not sloppy at all.
As long as you are engaged, even if you haven't gone through the door, it is still a valid contract and legally binding. In many ancient operas, it is not so easy for an old father-in-law who is too poor and loves wealth to break off his marriage and abandon his future son-in-law who has fallen into poverty.
Because of all the red tape, how many young women look forward to the wedding, and how many worries and sorrows arise from it. There is a saying that "I miss Zhang Chang in my brow, and I miss Ruan Lang when spring comes." In Wang Shifu's The West Chamber, Zhang Sheng and Cui Yingying got married because of a clever little matchmaker. Matchmaker has also become synonymous with matchmaker.
Being a matchmaker pays off handsomely, and matchmakers are combined into a pair. It is also essential to thank the media. Bad elements who are greedy for money, pimp Wang Po and other black sheep have made Ximen Qing and Pan Jinlian hook up as traitors, harming others and themselves, and will not come to a good end.
Therefore, there is a folk saying that "it is better to tear down ten temples than one marriage", and the pillow sleep that has been repaired for thousands of years is also fate!