In the past, marriage was mostly based on the words of the matchmaker. The man asked the matchmaker to propose to the woman first, which was called "good luck". After the woman agreed, she handed over the red post with her daughter birthdates written on it, that is, the "Geng post", which was called "paste", commonly known as "paste eight characters". After the man gets the memorial tablet, he puts it under the incense burner in front of the ancestral memorial tablet for three days, which is called "according to the memorial tablet", and then asks the fortune teller to calculate whether the birthdays of men and women coincide, which is called "marriage". If the five elements collide, they will return the woman's "Geng Tie" and attach some gifts to show their apologies. Marriage autonomy is practiced in the new society, but the words of matchmakers are still popular in many rural areas. Most young men and women in cities are free to fall in love, and some get the consent of their families through introduction, which is called "finding an object".

be engaged in

Jiaxing was called "Anxin" before getting engaged. After marriage, if the marriage can be achieved, the man's family will send a "peace of mind gift" to the woman's family. Rich people send "peace of mind gifts", using a golden barnyard grass, engraved with auspicious patterns, a gold ingot and a pair of Jin Ruyi as tokens of "deciding the best". The woman called "tea collection" to respond to the man, and then invited her close relatives to eat Anxin wine and announced their engagement. Gifts from poor families vary according to the economic situation. During the Republic of China, people with status in the city also held engagement ceremonies, and men and women exchanged photos. In the old society, men and women were engaged, and the man gave gifts to the woman's family on holidays, such as zongzi, moon cakes, chicken, fish, pig's trotters and cakes. And put them in bamboo baskets or wooden baskets, so some people call them "gift baskets". This custom is still popular in urban and rural areas after the founding of the People's Republic of China, but the city is simple. Generally speaking, during Mid-Autumn Festival and Spring Festival, men will give some gifts to women.

Zhunyi

That is, both men and women determine the wedding date. According to the Records of Jiaxing County, "... the date of the wedding invitation will be determined". According to "Miscellaneous Knowledge of Ancient Crops", "... the date is set, the male house serves tea, the female house serves cake, and the cake belongs to the middle, which is called the height of both ends". During the Republic of China, this custom seemed very popular. Rich men also need to buy jewelry (2-4 gold rings and bracelets), fruit boxes (divided into two compartments, one for longan and one for tea) and dowry of several tens to several hundred yuan, which will be sent to the woman's home by the matchmaker. The woman's family should also prepare a cake box and a Hehe (the legendary Hehe Erxian) (made of silk or paper and placed in a glass box), and HongLing will wrap it under the seat and return it to the man's family. Before the quasi-date, the matchmaker must first "propose marriage", that is, the man asks the matchmaker to propose marriage to the woman's house, and the woman deliberately refuses to agree, and she has to go back and forth at least three times before agreeing. The etiquette in rural areas is relatively simple. The man chooses the wedding date and informs his wife half a year in advance. This is called "matching dishes" and "rushing to the scene". Gifts are given by matchmakers, including silks and satins, fabrics, jewelry and gifts, and the amount of gifts is also considerable. There are also women who bargain for the man to send a souvenir. This custom is still popular in rural areas after the founding of the People's Republic of China, and sometimes it is necessary to pursue bride price. Because the man is poor and can't meet the woman's requirements, which leads to marriage disputes, many men are heavily in debt for employment.

Pick up the bride

According to "Miscellaneous Knowledge of Ancient Crops", it is recorded that "the custom of crops welcomes the rich again, and the rich room will be filled with feasts and gongs, which is really an official. Although the groom is dressed in white, he also wears several beads, even more than those who wear red coats. Relatives and friends are young and long, and their clothes are very rich. They are guided in front of Yu, which is called dowry. The bride holds a colorful map, the light is mapped, and the maid follows it. If your hand is benzoin, you will be angry. " This is the ostentation and extravagance of the rich in Jiaxing City in the Qing Dynasty. During the Republic of China, when urban residents got married, the bride still took a sedan chair or a float, and the groom wore robes and jackets, and some wore suits. Brides rarely wear dresses with crests. Generally, they wear pink embroidered cheongsam, and some use veils, which are pink. Married to the man's house, the bride got off the sedan chair and held a civilized wedding ceremony. There are witnesses, officiators, introducers, emcees, bridesmaids, etc. And they only bow down, not bow down. The number of tables given to guests on the same day depends on the economic situation, so please ask the chef to cook at home. After the founding of the People's Republic of China, before the 1970s, the wedding ceremony in cities was relatively simple, and the bride and groom got married on foot or by bike. The wedding was held at the man's house. At noon, the groom, accompanied by relatives and friends, held a wedding reception at the bride's house. In the evening, he hosted a banquet at the man's house to entertain relatives and friends, but there were only a few tables. The wedding ceremony for cadres is simpler. Generally, only candy is distributed to relatives, friends and colleagues to announce marriage. In the late 1970s, weddings became more and more luxurious, and several tricycles (dubbed "caravans") were full of the bride's dowry, which attracted people's attention. After the mid-1980s, the wind of "making big tickets" rose, and cars were used for weddings. Some abuse buses, ranging from one or two to seven or eight. The words "Double Happiness" are posted on the front glass window of the car. The bride and groom are accompanied by the best man and set off firecrackers when they get married. Although the new house is close at hand or in place, they have to swim along the street by car. Most brides wear white wedding dresses, while the groom wears black suits. In the evening, parents, relatives and friends of both men and women go to the restaurant for a wedding banquet. The bride and groom, accompanied by the best man, greeted the guests in front of the restaurant. The groom gives cigarettes to the guests one by one, and the bride gives gifts to the younger generation with a wallet, usually tens of yuan. The price of banquet is several hundred yuan per table (generally from 200 yuan to 250 yuan in the late 1980s), which is jointly organized by two companies, men and women, and the expenses are borne by the man. After the banquet, the remaining large dishes such as chicken, duck, fish and hooves are taken home by both parties. In the late 1980s, shooting wedding videos was a fashion.

During the Republic of China, most rural weddings followed the old customs. Before the wedding ceremony, the woman asked for gifts, such as "thank you for your mother's basket", "please sit down" and "grab my uncle's gift", and even her parents asked for money. Commonly known as "the sedan chair is 100 yuan, and the matchmaker sends five sets with the sedan chair." When a man marries, he should choose a married young man, a sedan chair, or a rocking boat, such as a sedan chair, with two boys with both parents carrying lanterns in front. When you get married or send someone or the groom to pick you up in person, you must bow at the door before the woman opens the door. Before the woman gets on the sedan chair, the bride's relatives pass the dowry over the threshold and the man waits. Dowry is generally less than the bride price of the man. However, Haiyan Ganpu area has always paid attention to the rich dowry, calling her daughter a "loss-making goods". The toilet necessary for dowry, commonly known as "children's bucket", is made of red paint, a bag of peanuts and two half-boiled eggs dyed red. The bride got into the sedan chair and spread a reed mat (or rice bag) in front of the sedan chair. When the bride steps on the sedan chair, it means that some uncles or brothers will carry the dirty things at home instead of taking them away. The bride must cry when she gets into the sedan chair, which is called "crying". Generally, the bride cries quietly and the mother cries loudly. After the bride got into the sedan chair, her mother fed her first, and then her brother carried the sedan chair pole three times and carried it to the man's house with the drums. Get married by boat, and in some places, put two mud bamboos on the boat. After the bride boarded the boat, she drove at high speed and propped up the shore with bamboo poles to avoid getting wet. After the ship leaves the port, the young people in the village often ask for money on the bridge where the ship must pass. This is the so-called "water stop port". If it doesn't meet the requirements, they will block the release. At the man's door, five sacks are laid in turn, and the wedding mother helps the bride to step through the door and hands the sacks to pave the way. This is called "Dai". Carrying five bags is a sign that "five children have passed the exam". After the bride and groom worship the heavens and the earth, their ancestors, their parents and each other, they "eat birthday noodles", their parents sit facing south (chopsticks will be served for nothing if they die), and the bride and groom kneel and propose a toast. After the ceremony, the groom led the bride with a red ribbon, and two young people led a pair of candles into the bridal chamber. It is said that the bride has a large bed and is afraid of her wife after marriage. If the groom sits too much, the wife will be afraid of her husband after marriage, so the two will not accommodate each other and sit together. After sitting on the bed, the groom uses a balance beam (to be satisfied) or sugar cane (to be tall and sweet) to stir up the red scarf of the bride's hijab. Xi Niang sprinkles dates, peanuts, candy, etc. Around the bed account of the new house, it is called "scattered account", and some are scattered in the four corners of the new house and in front of the guests. Haiyan has a song about hukou: "Hukou from east to east makes couples more harmonious, Hukou from south to south makes people prosperous and has many children ...". In Pinghu countryside, there was a custom of "small night meal" in the old days, that is, after the wedding, the elders took out two bowls of cold rice from the bride's box and put some pickles on it, so that the bride and groom could sit side by side and eat cold rice with pickles.

After the founding of the People's Republic of China, the marriage customs in rural areas changed, instead of sedan chairs, boats were used. When engaged, the bride price is very heavy. Before getting married, the groom still has to prepare all kinds of gifts. In the past ten years, some people get married by bike, and after marriage, like the city, they travel for their honeymoon. Since 1980s, wedding banquets in rural areas are similar to those in cities, where the bride attends the banquet and toasts the guests. Wedding banquets are generally dominated by cold cuts and hot stir-fried dishes, accompanied by whole chicken and duck snacks. Change home-brewed rice wine into bottled wine, about 200 yuan per table.

On the wedding day of the bride and groom in urban and rural areas, parents and close relatives of both men and women will present the bride and groom with "red paper bags", commonly known as "meeting each other".

On the second day after marriage, the bride's brother visited and the man gave a banquet, which was called "watching the tide". Jiashan area is commonly known as "Tongzao Chimney" and Jiaxing is commonly known as "Hanging Chimney". According to folklore, there used to be a bride who was teased by her in-laws and sister-in-law and blocked the chimney. The bride was criticized by her in-laws for her smoky cooking. When his brother came to see him, he found something strange. He used a long bamboo pole to pass through the chimney, and the flue was clear, vanished and the food was ready. This legend contains the meaning that the bride's brothers protect the bride's position in her husband's family. This custom remained popular after the establishment of People's Republic of China (PRC).

(of a newlywed wife) going to her parents' home with her newlywed husband.

In Qing dynasty, it was called "full moon" and "full moon". That is, a month after marriage, the husband and wife went back to their parents' home to visit, and the groom brought a table of dining tables, commonly known as "table gifts", and his parents-in-law also sent gifts. This custom is still popular in rural areas after the founding of the People's Republic of China, and it takes more than one month to go back to the door, mostly in three days.