At noon 12, a community in Yizheng city, people come and go, and everything is as usual.

Suddenly, with a bang, a figure fell from the sky.

Then came a scream.

A 1 1 year-old girl jumped from a tall building and died on the spot.

Soon after, the girl's mother rushed to the scene, suddenly collapsed to the ground and burst into tears.

"Daughter, come back."

Mother cried her eyes out, but no matter how she shouted, the girl's young and beautiful life had disappeared forever.

Afterwards, neighbors reported that before the girl fell from the building, she was suspected of having a dispute with her mother because of holiday homework problems.

Mother was emotional and said cruel words.

The girl lost control for a moment and felt that her mother didn't want her. She was a burden, so she did something stupid.

The local police are investigating and handling it.

After watching the news, I was embarrassed.

Perhaps this is another tragedy caused by improper language.

There is a good saying: the greatest fear of mankind is being abandoned; The worst state is despair.

Mother's temporary criticism made the girl feel abandoned at the same time.

Lu Yu said in Encounter: "No matter who we are, we have all experienced or are experiencing the darkest moment in our lives. This is a long, dark, cold and desperate tunnel. "

There is no doubt that a mother loves her daughter, but the method of criticism may be wrong and hurt the sensitive and fragile hearts of adolescent girls.

Girls don't have a mature and powerful heart. When they hear something ugly, they can't figure it out. Emotionally, they are desperate to do irreparable stupid things.

I really can't bear to criticize the mother, let alone the dead girl.

It can only be said that this is a tragedy that should not have happened and could have been avoided.

In life, we often say things like this:

"I spent a lot of money raising you!" "It's hard to raise you. Raising you makes me exhausted!" "You are so ugly!"

"Why don't you look like xxxx next door?" "How about xXX at Aunt XX's house?" "Look at xxx, and then look at you!"

"If you do this again, I won't want you!" "If you don't listen, I'll leave!" "If you do this again, I won't love you!"

You may think it doesn't matter if you say it, but these words are like time bombs. It may be no different at ordinary times, but it may explode under special conditions.

Over time, tragedy came.

Relations under language violence

It has been a long year.

In life, some verbal violence stems from ignorance of the consequences of actions.

Some people deliberately use verbal violence.

The former can be forgiven, while the latter is insidious.

And no matter which one, the result is the same, and the abused person's body and mind have been greatly violated.

Psychoanalyst McGovern said:

Language violence refers to the use of abusive, mocking and other discriminatory language, which causes others to be violated and damaged mentally and psychologically, and belongs to the category of mental injury. Young verbal violence means that the abuser or victim is a teenager.

Language violence won't cause obvious scars, but it hits the most difficult psychological wounds.

In addition, the perpetrators of verbal violence often have enough excuses to hurt others without feeling moral guilt.

To make matters worse, the child's brain is still developing. If they always live in a harsh and scarce environment, their brains will develop into a "survival mode" structure to adapt to the environment, forming a cowardly and inferior personality.

The hit drama "Everything is OK" before the fire is a typical example.

Su Mingyu was a victim of verbal violence since she was a child, and her mother was the main abuser.

In the eyes of the mother, only the boy is the heart, to be loved and protected, and the daughter is just a burden. She said to Mingyu:

How can you compare with two brothers? We are only responsible for raising you to 18 years old, and then you get married. When you are old, we don't need you to support you.

Therefore, the mother's attitude towards Mingyu is a bottomless demand and harm.

Brothers always eat ham and eggs for breakfast, and Mingyu is a bowl of rice in soup. The two brothers are well dressed, but Mingyu can only wear a white school uniform. Wash your brother's clothes near the college entrance examination; Sell her room without asking her permission.

Later, Su Mingyu left the heartbroken home and made a name for herself.

But think about it carefully, how many people have the courage, ability and luck? Su Like Mingyu.

I'm afraid most people who have been under verbal violence for a long time don't have such a happy ending.

A honey is B arsenic.

We can never know what others are experiencing, and people's joys and sorrows are often unrelated.

A careless word and a mocking look may become a sharp knife, tearing the last bit of dignity and hope.

What's worse, intentional humiliation and injury?

There is a saying in The Doctrine of the Mean: "A gentleman is always in his own position and doesn't want to surpass it."

Even if it is a good relationship, it is impossible to fully empathize.

Many times, we think it is good for each other, but we don't know that we may have just stepped on that pain point.

As a result, the relationship under the shadow of language violence has become a long year.

In the face of language violence

Need elasticity

In the variety "Our Band", "Spark Plane" touched the audience and mentor with an original song "Doomsday Drift".

This song is about the pain in the shadow of verbal violence.

In the program, Karry talked about language violence:

People who have verbal violence are irresponsible people, because they don't consider what you will mean when you hear these words, so I won't pay attention to those who say verbal violence. Don't say I want to fight back if you can't stand it. If you are hurt, don't try to hurt others. I think this is what we must do.

In fact, since Karry debuted, the most serious violence around him has never stopped.

Criticism of his private life and jealousy of his young fame are enough to surround him.

However, it is this public opinion environment that forged Karry's powerful psychological state.

Instead of being destroyed, he called on everyone not to hurt others with verbal violence.

In life, some people deliberately use verbal violence, and some verbal violence stems from ignorance of the consequences of behavior.

But in either case, the result is the same, and the abused person's body and mind have been greatly violated.

Some people may be able to fight back and finally get rid of bad relationships and achieve counterattack.

American general Patton famously said that the measure of a person's success is not the height at which he reached the peak, but his resilience at the bottom.

This is "toughness". In the face of verbal violence, you need the ability to redeem yourself and fight to the death in an accident.

Reject verbal violence

Because you are precious.

Zhou said this in Face to Face with Suffering:

Suffering becomes suffering because it shakes the foundation of life and hits people's confidence in the meaning of life, thus causing the soul to fall into great pain. It should be said that something can awaken the soul and make it in a painful but energetic state of tension, and it must have some spiritual value.

There are three things that can help us in the face of verbal violence.

First, the judgment is accurate; The second is inner strength; The third is to act in time.

First of all, we should know the harm of language violence in time.

Secondly, you should have a strong heart and be able to bear those swords and spears.

Finally, we should act in time, and in the face of those negative relationships, we should stop when it is time to stop.

In the face of verbal violence, crying and making noise are often useless.

What you really want to do is not to vent your emotions, but to tell each other with actions that you have your own bottom line.

Yu Hua, a writer, said: "There are many excellent people among the younger generation in China, but few people can handle things!"

Say 1000, say 10000, there is only one kind of real hero, that is, to see the truth of life and keep loving it.

I really hope you stay away from verbal violence. If you encounter it unfortunately, I hope you have the courage to overcome your fate.

I believe that those hardships in life will eventually be forged by us and become your future medal.