Heilongjiang is quite complicated, and you are not in the minority, so there's still nothing you can do. In fact, you two can go home and consult your parents to find out their views on the amount of gifts. Then you two can discuss it, and the amount of the gift will be easy to handle. For craft customs, parents can be invited to negotiate (if conditions permit) and it is best for both parties to reach an agreement. Make a plan for the elderly on both sides, and it is best to make sure it is correct.

Let me introduce the marriage customs in Heilongjiang to you, and have a look. Personally, I feel really troublesome.

1, say engagement first. Engagement must have a matchmaker. Even if the Li family's young man has a crush on the Wang family's girl, I am interested in them both, and the adults of the two families have no complaints. They just symbolically ask a respected elder in the village to be a matchmaker. This is called legal marriage. This kind of matchmaker is the best, just passing messages between the two families on some embarrassing things. It's just a matter of bride price and money.

2. Speaking of bride price. The bride price is divided into stubble ceremony and second stubble ceremony. Is to give the bride price money that has reached an agreement twice to the woman. This is not only a takeover, but also a ceremony called Li Guo. During the ceremony, two young people, their parents, three aunts and two aunts met the matchmaker at the man's house. Girls will toast you, introduce each other and get to know each other.

After the ceremony, the bride-to-be will use the money to buy a dowry for herself. After that, it depends on how the two people get along and when the wedding is scheduled. Generally, it won't take long, because as long as you don't get married, on holidays, the man's family will take the girl to the holidays, which is not a waste. The parents of the man's family want to give a sum of money to the prospective daughter-in-law who has never gone through the door. So after a long time, this is not a small expense. So most people get married one or two months or three or five months after they settle down. Before we get married, we must hold a second ceremony. I'll pay the balance in one lump sum this time, and there's no need for a ceremony this time. Generally, the matchmaker can bring money to the girl. Some are called "dry folding and dry rolling", which means how much bride price is agreed, paid in one lump sum, and there is no second time.

If some people have older young men and women, they will get older every year, but the marriage problem will not be solved. Whether it is high or low, firecrackers will be set off at 0: 00 on New Year's Eve, and young people will be asked to move "dirty oil drums". Northeasters eat "meat oil", which is lard. This means "a grand wedding", which means that the marriage of young people will bear fruit in the coming year.

5, after the engagement, generally after the autumn harvest at the end of the year, it is necessary to prepare for the wedding. In the vast rural areas of northeast China, there is a custom of marrying a daughter-in-law in the winter of the lunar calendar. There are mainly the following reasons. In winter, it is the richest time for farmers to sell surplus grain and some agricultural products in a year; In addition, some people still have the traditional idea of marrying a daughter-in-law for the sake of happiness and auspiciousness.

6. Rural wives also have their own pigs. It's economical to kill pigs yourself. Besides marrying a daughter-in-law to hold a banquet, it is better to eat during the New Year. People usually buy their wives for three days. On the first day, I set up a "hi shed" and built a hi shed in the yard with wooden poles and tarpaulins. Then kill the pigs and do some preparatory work. There are no foreign guests on this day. They are all immediate family members, called "Zuotang" in Northeast China, such as uncles, aunts, uncles and cousins. These people are not only visiting, but also helping. Our northeast is called "Luo Mang". These people are responsible for moving tables and chairs, washing dishes and so on. On this day, there was no formal "banquet". The chef only cooks six or eight dishes, which is relatively simple, because they are all eaten by the whole family. The next day, there were foreign guests. This will be a formal "banquet". There will be a "busy day", that is, in the "busy day", he is the "boss" and the foreman. Similar to MC today, it is also called "supporting role". This role is very important. Whether the wedding can go smoothly depends on his command ability. Because the host will be very busy at this time. And "busy" is the authorized representative of the owner, very experienced. This is generally a recognized figure in the village for many years, and everyone should ask him to preside over everything. On this day, we will also set up a gift account to record all the gifts received so that we can remember our contacts in the future. On the third day, which is the right day, the bride will get married on this day. In the past, women always saw her off. The bride's car will leave at dawn, and we must get to her husband's house before dawn. The number of people going to see the bride off should be odd and even when they come back. When the girl gets on the bus, she is called "sedan chair" and "sedan chair". If a girl has no brothers, her cousin will help her. Led by a prestigious old man in the clan. At that time, the girl's parents were not allowed to see her off. At the wedding, an old man should represent the woman and say some friendly words before the banquet. It's just that the girl is too young to understand and wants the man to forgive her. Say to the girl, you should be thrifty and keep the house, and honor your in-laws. The woman's family should also arrange for a little boy to "press the sedan chair" and get a sum of money for "pressing the sedan chair" after arriving at her husband's family. When the bride arrives at her husband's house, she can't get off the sedan chair at once. Put a sorghum bag under the car door. The bride will step on the sorghum bag and get off the sedan chair. It indicates that life will be higher and higher in the future. In the past, people carried saddles and walked past a charcoal brazier. The bride must hold an axe and two green onions tied together with red ribbons in her arms. It means being blessed and living a full life. The bride will be covered with a red veil, some friends of the same age will throw grain mixed with scraps of paper at the bride, and some naughty children will beat the bride hard. At this time, the girl's partner, the young bridesmaid, will cover the bride and "retreat" and go to the bridal chamber. At this time, the witty groom will tear off the bride's red veil and stick it on the door of the bridal chamber. He is not allowed to bring it into the bridal chamber. Legend is unlucky. The groom also has a special costume on this day, which is to wear red. The so-called wearing red is some close relatives. The groom's third aunt and second aunt wear red cloth for the groom, and usually change it into a red quilt cover. This is also exquisite. The more you wear, the better and the more popular you are.

7. After entering the bridal chamber, a new quilt should be laid on the kang, and the bride and groom should compete to sit on it. Whoever sits in a large area will be the happiest in the future. It's called robbing happiness. Generally the groom is symbolic. Sit down. Next, the bride washes her face and combs her hair. When washing your face, you should fill a basin with water and then put some coins in it. A little girl in her family wants to hang curtains. This matter, the husband's family is going to pay the labor fee. Next, it sits at the table. During the dinner, the bride and groom toasted the guests, and the groom introduced some relatives. At this point, the "guests" should always accompany them. Answer some questions about "family guests". At this time, the "mother's family" has an absolute supremacy, and the husband's family is afraid of being criticized for not being considerate. After dinner, I finally finished this paragraph with "three worships and nine knocks". When the bride's family leaves, she should bring her four pairs of chopsticks and a piece of meat, which is called "keeping the mother's meat". Finally, I sent my parents away. At this time, my parents-in-law breathed a sigh of relief and finally married a daughter-in-law. Her face is still full of smiles.

8. It's the same at night. I won't go into details here. It's just some girls and boys teasing the bride and groom. In the evening, I will make a bowl of wide noodles for the bride, which is called "Rest assured noodles". It means that the new wife will not miss her family and will not be angry in her heart. Some families invite a beautiful and lovely little boy to sleep on the couple's kang at night, which is called kang pressure. I hope the newcomer will have a fat boy in the future.

9. Then come back in three days. On the Lantern Festival on the fifteenth day of the first month of that year, the bride could not stay at her husband's house, but went to some immediate family members' houses to "hide the lanterns". It is superstition that the new wife can't see her husband's lamp for three days, otherwise her father-in-law will. It is unlucky for my father-in-law.

Panorama of marriage customs in Heilongjiang

1. The day before the wedding, the groom's family will make the bed, and 99 coins will be sprinkled under the bed to show the meaning of eternity. I also need to find someone whose children and parents are alive to sew the quilt.

On the wedding day, the bride puts on her makeup in the morning and waits at her parents' house. The groom arranges his trip according to the ceremony time. Someone in the husband's family will post couplets and happy words.

When the groom goes to his mother-in-law's house to pick up the bride, he should wrap a large piece of ribs in red paper, which is called "keeping the mother's meat", that is, the daughter is the heart of the mother, and use this piece of "keeping the mother's meat" to give it to the bride. Then we have to prepare 99 new 50-cent coins, as well as red caps and red envelopes.

4. The number of people who pick up relatives when they go must be odd, which means the bride must be in pairs. And there should be an old man and two children, so that the bride and groom can have a full house of children in the future.

The groom will pick up the bride, and the relatives and friends of the bride's family will guard the door at every door. Every time the groom comes in, someone knocks at the door. The groom will go through the customs to meet the bride by saying good things and giving red envelopes.

6. The bride's family will prepare noodles and eggs for the bride and groom. When eating eggs, people who take care of relatives will ask the bride if the eggs were born. The bride wants to answer the implication that the egg is born. In other words, the bride will have children for the groom.

7. People who pick up relatives after eating will take out 99 prepared 50-cent coins for the bride to grasp in the groom's pocket, and the bride will grasp "gold" in her hand. Relatives and friends of the groom's family will shout "catch more, catch more", and people of the bride's family will shout "catch less, catch less". The bride can only catch one. The moral of catching coins is to catch happiness and money. If the bride catches more than the remaining 99 coins, it means that the husband's family will have a good life in the future and the husband's family will have a hard time. On the contrary, it means that her family will live well.

8. Next, the groom will tie a red belt for the bride, and the groom himself has already tied it. The red ribbon is a piece of red cloth. The groom folded it up and wrapped it in 100 yuan, which means that the young couple will have more and more money in the future.

9. Next, the groom will put on shoes for the bride, but the red shoes will be hidden by the bride's relatives and friends. The groom should look for shoes everywhere, and when he can't find them, he should redeem them from relatives and friends with red envelopes.

10. After finding the shoes, the groom should put on the shoes for the bride, then cover the bride with a red veil and carry her downstairs.

1 1, the bride's family wrapped four big red envelopes for the bride, which contained things for the bride to marry, red pots and other things, as well as red cloth specially printed with happy characters.

12. After arriving at the groom's new house, relatives and friends of the groom will beat the bride and groom with whole grains. Others take things from their parents. After entering the door, my family will help make the bed. There are red envelopes in the quilt. Find the red envelope and make the bed. The bride and groom will sit on the new bed, with an axe wrapped in red paper under the quilt, and the bride and groom will sit on two cushions.

13, a couple sitting on an axe and a blessing mat, contains many blessings. I wish a couple a happy life, and the blessings are always there.

14. Then the groom's sister or sister will get water from a red basin. There are eight coins and two onions in the basin. Brides should use it to wash their hands. Give a red envelope when washing your hands and put it in the mouth of the person who carries the basin. Putting onions in the basin means that the children born in the future are smart.

15. In the new house, you should salute your parents-in-law, eat candy for your mother-in-law and light a cigarette for your father-in-law. Your parents-in-law should say something blessed.

16. Finally, a ceremony was held in the hotel and the red carpet was taken. Pay tribute to your parents-in-law and call them parents. In-laws will change their money into 100 1 or 100 1, which means one thousandth, one thousandth. The groom renamed his parents-in-law, and his parents-in-law would give him the same money and express the same meaning.

17, then exchange rings, drink a toast, propose a toast to relatives and friends, the wedding is over, and the bride and groom begin their marriage journey.

A wedding in a hotel.

Hotel salute-is the most common way at present, where the witness and the host make auspicious wishes and then entertain the guests; Convenient, efficient and lively. Generally speaking, the ceremony at a wedding reception is as follows:

1. The bride and groom greet the guests at the gate of the banquet hall;

2. Witnesses, referees, guests, hosts and relatives are seated;

3. At the beginning of the wedding, play "Wedding March";

3. Male and female guests attract the groom and groom to the dining table;

4. Master of ceremonies officiates at the wedding;

5. The witness spoke and read the marriage certificate;

6. The guest representative made a speech to congratulate;

7. The bride and groom exchange tokens;

8. Open champagne, cut wedding cakes and drink toast;

9. Parents of both sides came to power, and parents' representatives spoke to congratulate them;

10. The bride and groom bow to their parents three times, to their guests three times and to each other three times;

12. Raise a glass and the master of ceremonies announces the start of the banquet;

13. The bridesmaid leads the bride and groom out;

14. The ceremony is over.