My answer is just the opposite of others'. I think since you spent 1 million to raise your daughter, you should accept the bride price properly. How much is the charge? First, you can see your daughter's Excellence; second, you must refer to the son-in-law's financial situation; third, you must combine local customs and habits. Let me take my time.
First, the origin of the bride price.
The bride price is not a patent invented by any mother-in-law. Bridal price is one of the ancient wedding customs in China, and it also has the names of betrothal price, betrothal price and betrothal money. In order to express happiness, it is generally called "bride price" now.
As for the "bride price", it was recorded in China's ancient classic Book of Rites: "Those who are confused by the ceremony combine the interests of the two surnames, serve the temple and inherit the future generations, so the gentleman is more important ..."
The "faint ceremony" in the text is what is now called "bride price".
The bride price has a deep-rooted foundation in China. The reason why the bride price is required is to show the man's sincerity and economic strength before marriage, which is an agreement on the wedding. On the other hand, it is not easy for the woman's parents to raise their children, and the man expresses his heartfelt thanks and condolences.
Of course, this is based on the idea of "men are superior to women" in ancient feudal society. When you get married, you become someone else's person. The bride price is also a kind of propaganda, which informs the third party and shows noble significance.
Second, the evolution of bride price.
During the period after the founding of New China, bride price and engagement related to bride price were criticized and once abolished.
The simplest wedding should be in the 1960s. In the 1960s, young men and women in production teams or factories, as long as you loved me, moved their bedding together, put out window grilles and invited everyone to eat candy, which was tantamount to getting married.
However, the bride price still has a strong vitality among the people. First, because people in love pictures are always happy and auspicious, don't you know that most bride price ends with "six", "eight" and "nine"?
Second, many people are always suspected of making money by this, which makes sense: the money spent by the two families and the bride price asked by the mother-in-law didn't give him two flowers? !
In the 1970s, the economy gradually improved, and the popular bride price was watches, sewing machines and bicycles. At that time, there was a mother-in-law whose "three major events" could not get together and would not let her daughter get married.
With the development of economy, radios were added in the early 1980s. There are also places where Simmons bed, sofa, dressing table, writing desk, wardrobe and other "32 legs" bride price are posted.
The spring breeze of reform and opening up gradually spread all over the country. From the middle and late 1980s to the early 1990s, the three major items became: refrigerator, color TV and washing machine.
In the 1990s, the popular bride price was: three gold and one silver with cigarettes, and the combined cabinets of household appliances must be lowered.
The Millennium is approaching, and marrying a daughter-in-law is "one in a million". The new standard of bride price is: 10 1 yuan.
Third, the current market.
Since the bride price was converted into money, it has been rising, falling and climbing! Eighteen thousand, twenty-eight thousand, sixty-eight thousand, ninety-nine thousand ... one hundred and ninety-eight thousand!
The moving red numbers make women's blood boil and men blush and beat more than any bull market stock.
Today, even in our small county town of 10, ordinary men have to have a house in the city and a car at home, and the bride price is168,000. Of course, cars are not very particular. The house needs to be decorated, right? Can't leave the house empty? !
Watch the weddings of those stars;
20 17 12.5, Shawn Yue went to his girlfriend, Taiwan Province model Sarah's house to propose marriage, and finally got the result.
2065438+2008, Show Lo spent 270 million yuan to buy a luxury house in order to marry his girlfriend Grace Chow.
When Huang Youlong proposed to Zhao Wei, there were 30 million yuan for the glorious ceremony, as well as luxury houses and restaurants worth10 million.
Huang Xiaoming and Angelababy got married on 20 16 after falling in love for 5 years. Huang Xiaoming gave a gift of 38.38 million yuan, and the wedding was extremely luxurious, costing more than 200 million yuan.
……
Not to mention the grand wedding of wealthy businessmen and world dignitaries. Their bride price, to put it bluntly, has long gone beyond the meaning of the wedding.
4. What is the reason for the high bride price?
1. Economic development is the main driving force for the rise of bride price.
Look at the China bride price list, far ahead are economically developed areas. You can refer to the market in Shanghai and Tianjin. (Attached to the list of bride price in each province in 2020-data comes from the Internet) 1, with an area of 10,000 yuan.
Shanghai: Suite 100000+ 1
Tianjin: 60,000 suites+1
25,000 yuan area
Three northeastern provinces: 68,000 yuan+Sanjin +9999 change fee+1 suite
Jiangxi: 38000+ 1 suite
Qinghai: Suites from 30,000+1
3, one hundred thousand yuan area
Shandong: 3 kg 100 yuan (about 6.5438+0.3 million yuan)
Hunan: 50,000 vehicles+1 vehicle.
Zhejiang: rural 10000, urban 150000.
4. Ten thousand yuan area
Jiangsu: 20,000 items (each parent 10000), 4 items.
Guangdong: 65438+ from 0.0000+ three gold.
Hainan: 20,000-60,000 (must be an even number, excluding 4)
Anhui: 1.6 million.
Beijing: 1000 1 +2 gold
Yunnan: 30,000-50,000 yuan
Guizhou: 35,000 to 80,000
Sichuan: 30,000 on average.
Ningxia: starting from 20,000 yuan
Hebei: 30,000+3 gold
Xinjiang: 6666 or 8888, send two gifts.
2. The backward concept has become the strong backing of the high bride price.
In many underdeveloped areas, the bride price is always firm compared with the local per capita income. For example, in today's three northeastern provinces, bride price has simply become synonymous with trade weddings.
The worse the economy, the more we should make good use of it.
3. The sex ratio between men and women is the reason why women are in short supply.
In view of the present situation of the sex ratio of school-age youth in China, there are more girls than boys, which makes it difficult to find a partner. If there are people who are willing to get married, why not take this opportunity to skyrocket? !
Of course, this is also a serious inferiority complex and abnormal psychology.
4. Various marriage-related industries contributed to the fire.
In the real estate industry, you must have seen such advertisements: "Love her, stay at Hao Di 'an's home by the lake, have a good dream for her every night, and see the lake in the morning ...", "Landscape Lin Yu, with her, with you, with home". The house has become the standard for marriage.
The automobile industry is also aiming at her to be married, relying on her beautiful yearning in the car.
Household appliances industry, furniture industry, wedding industry and hotel catering industry are all high-priced weddings with high bride price!
5. Fashion magazines and media industry add fuel to the fire.
Women love imagination, women love fantasy more, and women who want to get married love fantasy most.
They are emotional people, especially sensitive people. They often find the foothold of fantasy through short words or gorgeous pictures.
In recent years, especially since the rapid development of mobile Internet, unmarried women of school age have seen other people's lives, especially the lives of stars and celebrities who are also women.
As women who have not become mothers-in-law, but are about to become mothers-in-law, they are more likely to be guided by mass media propaganda including commercial value, and they need to marry as well as they see.
As a result, the concept of "being born well is not as good as learning well, and learning well is not as good as marrying well" is widely touted. As a result, the bride price has climbed all the way, and it is expected to be sky-high.
Fifth, the consequences of high bride price.
1, clearly marked, waiting for the price to be sold, understandable. Since it is a commodity society, some people treat marriage leave with such a mentality. Then, the marriage destined to buy and sell will not last long.
2. Mother-in-law's insistence on marriage price will make more girls' marriages bitter: marrying for money and divorcing for ruthlessness. Extreme behavior is suicide, or elopement between men and women.
3. A large number of hasty and perfunctory marriages are victims of high-priced bride price. I believe that many people who are watching it suffer greatly.
But unlike those who have been poor together, a young couple was heavily in debt before marriage and miserable after marriage. Dilute all the happiness and happiness.
5. More men and women wander outside the marriage gate. One is afraid, and the other is not confident. It is better to be single and have fun.
In other words, it has become an ironclad fact that there are more men and women left.
Six, might as well look at foreigners?
Let's take a look at the wedding bride price in other countries.
May be influenced by China, Japanese marriage is similar to that in China, and it costs about 65,438+million yuan for a man to propose marriage. The full cost of the wedding is also paid by the man, which is about 3.5 million yen, equivalent to RMB10.8 million.
It's easier to get married in Korea, and it costs a man $200,000 to buy a house.
German men and women are thrifty, drinking beer in love is a kind of enjoyment, and friends and relatives should be invited to dinner at the wedding. After marriage, they usually live together and rent a house.
French girls, starting from their teens, will buy bed sheets, dishes, towels and other household necessities for their future marriage, and the cost of the wedding banquet must generally be borne by the woman.
In Spain, when a man marries a woman, the groom chooses a date to propose marriage and visits his girlfriend and his parents with a deposit and a bride price. After the groom accepts the promise, he is directly responsible for the bride's consumption and wedding expenses. For the wedding.
In India, generally speaking, university lecturers charge 200,000 rupees, bank employees 700,000 ~ 6.5438+00,000 rupees, those with MBA degrees can get 6.5438+0.5 million ~ 2 million rupees, and doctors expect to charge 2 million ~ 3 million rupees. Overseas Indians and senior Indian government officials are rare, and the asking price is as high as 5 million ~ 654.38+.
Is this the other extreme?
three
Seven, can you have new ideas?
Can the state intervene?
Let's take a look at the provisions of the Marriage Law on buying and selling marriage:
According to Article 11 of China's Marriage Law, (1) buying and selling marriage belongs to revocable marriage. A party who buys and sells a marriage may, according to the provisions of Article 11 of the Marriage Law, request the marriage registration authority or the people's court to cancel the marriage within one year from the date of marriage registration.
(2) buying and selling the property obtained from marriage should be handled according to the specific circumstances. According to the Supreme People's Court's judicial interpretation, property acquired by arranging, forcing or buying and selling marriages should, in principle, be confiscated and turned over to the state treasury according to law.
(3) According to Article 12 of China's Marriage Law, a revocable marriage is invalid from the beginning. After the sale marriage was declared invalid, men and women lived together. According to the law, the property acquired during the period of cohabitation between men and women shall be handled by the parties through agreement. If the agreement fails, the people's court shall make a judgment according to the principle of taking care of the innocent party.
Nowadays, with the rapid development of economy, the state and local governments should introduce some new concrete measures to limit the wanton rise of wedding sky-high prices.
To sum up:
With the development of society, the bride price, to put it bluntly, is a ritual and symbolic thing, auspicious and festive. Of course, if the other party's economy is good, since they are married, whether it is a bride price or a dowry, it may also become a means for one party to help the other. Of course, be willing to pay and be willing to accept.
Most of them are only children now. In the future, the two old people will need the care of their children when they are old.
The purpose of raising children is to make your children happy. My point is that adopting a daughter is not for selling money, and adopting a child is not for supporting the elderly.
Having children is both a right and an obligation. You can choose not to have children, but with children, you have an obligation to make others grow up happily. If you screw up the bride price, you can think of the consequences in the future.
By Yashan Qing Zi
The picture comes from the internet.