I used to work in a wedding company for a while.

Every time I shoot a wedding video with the couple, one of the links is to separate them and then interview them about their true views on the other half.

As a guide to the interview process, I often ask them a question:

Do you think your other half is the right person in your life?

The answer I get is usually a very positive "yes". Why do you think so again? At this time, their answers will be different.

But whatever the reason, as long as two people love each other, a happy smile will naturally appear on their faces.

Every couple who come to shoot the wedding MV are taciturn, shy and reserved, and Mu Na is rigid. And these shortcomings in character have turned into uncontrollable sweetness in front of the other half.

The warmth and romance of holding your hand and growing old with your son are constantly infiltrating in every frame of MV.

Stay with these new people, even if you are depressed that day, you will be infected by their invisible happiness and make you laugh.

As a bride once told me, you can't tell what attracts you about him, but you will naturally feel happy with him.

Yes, if you find the right person in your life, you will become like this.

So what exactly is the right person?

(2)

It is easy to like someone.

As long as the external conditions such as the other person's face value and figure reach a certain standard in your mind, it will mobilize your emotions and make you feel excited.

However, turning love into love is often not as simple and direct as "love at first sight".

Without the soaking of time, experience and frequent interaction, it is difficult for a person to produce this lasting and exclusive emotion of love just by the appearance of the other person.

Although sometimes you may mistake this mood fluctuation for the love you long for.

During the first days in Joker Xue, a friend of mine on WeChat forwarded his circle of friends almost every day and left a message saying that he really wanted to marry him like this.

I believe she just likes Joker Xue. Even if she is really in love, is Joker Xue the only thrill? Is she the right person for Joker Xue?

I don't think so.

Nowadays, many girls are immersed in the world of Korean idol dramas, and they are fascinated by those OBAs. No matter their birthdays or which cities they are going to perform in, they all remember clearly. My thoughts always rise and fall with their every move, as if they were their lovers.

In fact, everyone knows that this kind of "love" is not practical at all, but not everyone can control the impulse. If these obas hook up with you and are willing to fall in love with you, will you know how to think about each other's life trajectory and refuse this love?

After all, love is only a necessary condition for two people to be together, not a sufficient condition. Love alone is not enough, you have to have "fit".

The right person must be in love and suitable. The former is perceptual and the latter is rational. The two must complement each other in order to combine a beautiful result.

Sometimes you will meet people you love, but they are not suitable. Contradictions in the process of getting along will slowly torture your feelings. And some people are suitable for you, but you don't love them, and it's hard for you to have the enthusiasm to live your life with relish.

No matter what kind of love you pursue, you must find the right one on the basis of love; On the basis of suitability, there must be love. Only in this way, no matter what obstacles you encounter in your future life, you will be willing to face them hand in hand.

Such a partner is the right person.

(3)

Different people have different definitions of what is appropriate.

Because of my work, I have come into contact with many fashionable and beautiful models and many photographers with high photography skills. Models and photographers, seemingly perfect for work, should breed many lovers made in heaven.

However, what I see is that the woman behind most photographers is often not a model, but an ordinary woman, who can be submerged in the crowd in an instant on the street.

Once I participated in an outdoor shooting activity organized by the company, more than a dozen photographers with long guns and short guns came. When shooting, these photographers are like a group of hungry wolves, surging around the model; The arrangement of the pose of the model is like satisfying one's own selfish desires.

During the intermission, I sat and chatted with some photographers. At that time, I jokingly asked them if they would like to marry these models, and their answer was beyond my expectation.

So these photographers are married to an ordinary woman who works nine to five. For them, this is appropriate.

I have a friend who is not like this. He never knew what kind of girl was suitable for him, but unexpectedly found a model as his girlfriend. I didn't expect her girlfriend to go out to do activities every once in a while, either to do sexy underwear shows or to take private photos, which made him very unhappy and led to many contradictions between them.

In the end, everyone broke up in discord.

If he knew clearly from the beginning that he was the kind of person who didn't want his other half to go out to be a model, then before falling in love, he would consciously reject the girls in the modeling circle and not consider further development with them. Then concentrate on finding those girls who are practical and simple. Isn't this better?

After all, it is easier to find a ready-made person than to transform a person.

You like to go to the top of mountains and seas, but I am willing to live on earth and enjoy myself, so these two people are not suitable.

Fish look for fish, shrimp look for shrimp, one longs for the sea, and the other wants to live together.

Suitable for two people, there must be a lot of overlap between their three views. If not, it depends on whether you are willing to spend a lot of time and energy in this relationship.

(4)

If you want to find the right person, you must first define "fit".

The clearer your definition of "fit", the more willing you are to overcome the difficulties in getting along, and the easier it is to find the person you want; On the contrary, the more vague your definition of "fit" is, the lazier you are to solve problems and even find the right person.

Because if you don't know what you want, how can you find the right person

Many people can't find the right person because the definition of "the right person" is confusing in their minds. At one time, it seems that such people are suitable for them, and at the other time, it seems that such people are suitable for them. They want everything, they want everything, they are always ambiguous and don't know how to choose.

If you like a beautiful girl, she won't show it so easily in her bones; If you like a handsome guy, his charm will not be exclusive to you.

You like long-term companionship, and the other half who focuses on your career doesn't leave you much time; If you like conscientious people, you have to accept each other's dullness without any surprise.

This is the choice of opportunity cost. You get one thing, you have to give up another thing as a price. You can only try to choose the key points among them, but you can't choose to satisfy them all.

When you know what kind of talent is right for you, you will know how to choose.

At this time, if you don't know whether the person you like at present is suitable for you, then the soaking of time, the experience of * * * and frequent interaction are the methods you use to screen.

You need to know each other better.

Once in love, many people feel that the other person is suitable for them, and even willing to shed their blood for each other. Actually, it's just hormones Good love doesn't need you to do too many vigorous actions at all, and you can see the truth in your daily life.

Yes, some couples will not despair once they fall in love with each other. It seems that they can live well without knowing each other, which is very enviable.

But don't forget that two people are willing to give everything for each other, which is also a kind of three views that fit together, and there are many similarities in personality and thought behind them.

Because of this fit, even if they encounter any contradictions and difficulties in the future, they will solve them together. Because of this contradiction and difficulty, life has given you two, not the other half.

Many couples break up because they give each other too many questions, which seems endless. You're the only one who works hard, and the other one is as if nothing has happened. What can we talk about Qi Xin working together to solve the difficulties? If a relationship needs a lot of effort to maintain, then most of the results are doomed to be tragedy.

Because once disappointment is enough, everyone will leave.

(5)

So how can we find the right person more easily?

This phenomenon is most suitable for finding the right person.

First of all, you should know yourself clearly.

We should have a deep understanding of our own personality, external conditions and internal cultivation. Only by recognizing yourself can you understand what kind of people you can get along with and what kind of people will suit you.

Second, know your own class.

Your class determines who you can know and make friends with. If you are not a star, there is no need to expect to fall in love with a star. On the other hand, you are a star, and you don't want to find a low-level partner. At any time, falling in love must be two evenly matched people.

Furthermore, we should be brave enough to get out of our own circles.

You are a student and you like your uncle. If you stay at school, it will be difficult for you to meet people in society. How can we get along without even contacting them? And this circle, not only refers to the social circle, but also includes your personal ability circle. If you are introverted and conservative, and dare not speak when you see the person you like, then strengthen and improve your ability, and you will see a wider world.

Finally, dare to try and make mistakes and stop losses in time.

Of course, this kind of trial and error is not random trial and error, but not afraid of failure, dare to fight for what you like. If you like a person, you should devote time and energy to get along with him and get to know him better. Maybe all your efforts will not bring you good results, but don't stay, you must stick to it. And if the result is really unsatisfactory, you must know how to stop loss in time. Even if you like it again, it is not appropriate.

I believe that only by doing these four things, under the effect of "Budd-Meinhof phenomenon", you will soon find the right person.

There is no lack of beauty in the world, but the lack of eyes to find beauty. In the same way, there is no shortage of people who are suitable for you in the world, only the eyes that you find the right person.

May you all find a lover to spend your life with.

? Blessing.